Hey! This is my first Death Note fanfic! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any rights to Death Note.
Setting: The Whammy House.
*L is sitting in front of the tv with with an abnormally large piece of cake*
*Near is on the floor playing with his toys*
*Matt is outside smoking*
*Mello is...well doing whatever Mellos do.*
*Watari walk in*
Watari: L, isn't it time you go back to your own house?
L: *Looks appalled* This is my house Tari. How can you try to kick me out of my childhood home?
Watari: Because for the last five days you've been laying around here eating everything sugary we have and watching the Golden Girls.
L: Dorothy is my favorite. :3 And besides, my place is still being fixed after the fire and all.
Watari: L! You started that fire by letting your cake burn in the oven!
L: It was just an accident. You think I would let a perfectly good cake burn on purpose?
Mello: I wish you would burn on purpose.
L: Shuttup, Mello. No one likes you. And you look like a girl.
(A/N I love Mello. For the record)
*Mello cries*
*Near Laughs*
Mello: Well, you look like a panda!
L: Yes, but pandas are cute. Look at me. I'm adorable.
Near: I can see how L would resemble a panda...
L: How?
Near: Well, the eyes. And there's the fact that both you and a panda eat your own body weight in food every day.
Mello: how are you not fat by now?
L: I'm lucky.
Mello: How do you think Near would act if he had a sugar overload?
*All shiver*
L: Let's not think about that.
*Matt walks in*
Watari: Where have you been?
Matt: Outside smoking.
Watari: That's going to kill you early in life.
Matt: Watari, everyone here right now is going to die except for Near.
L: But unlike Mello, people will cry when I die. I'll bet my death will be all climactic too.
Near: I feel lucky.
Matt: I die too. Darn. I never got enough screen time.
Mello: Hey! People like me.
L: Mello, everybody thought you were a girl in the anime until you talked.
Near: Yeah. And I'm the one who was voiced by a woman and everyone knows I'm a boy.
L: Get a haircut, ya hippy.
Matt: Hey! Leave him alone. It's not his fault he has no muscles and looks like a chick.
Mello: Gee, thanks Matt.
L: You guys are lucky you didn't have to be around Misa in the anime.
Near: I kidnapped her.
L: Yes, but you weren't handcuffed to her boyfriend.
Near: She kind of looks like Mello...
L: Hey that's right! She does.
*Doorbell rings*
L: ehh, I'll get it.
*answers door*
*Light is there*
L: What do you want?
Light: I have come to kill you!
L: I'm pretty sure that you won't kill me in a fanfiction. The author won't allow it.
Author: That's right. I hate you, Light.
Light: Thanks..
Watari: What have you come for?
Light: I need L's help.
L: What do you need?
Light: I NEED to get away from Misa!
L: Go hide in Near's doll house.
Light: YAY!
Near: He's too fat! He'll break it!
Matt: That's true.
*All silent*
Near: Does no one care about the well being of my doll house?
Mello: Nope.
L: Mmm. I want another piece of cake.
Mello: I'm kind of craving chocolate right now.
Near: I want to get a new toy.
Matt: I need another cigarette.
L: You know Watari, you're the only one here who doesn't have a distinct character feature.
Watari: Well, neither does Light!
Near: He's the famous Kira. But you don't really have anything going for you.
L: I knew it!
Light: Do you guys have any potato chips?
Mello: Yeah in the kitchen.
Light: Okay.
L: Why are you helping him?
Mello: Everybody likes potato chips.
Near: It's true.
Matt: I don't.
L: Why do you always have to be different?
Light: *From the kitched* I'll take a potato chip...AND EAT IT!
Mello: Is he talking to himself in there?
L: Yes. He's a homicidal maniac. That's kind of how those kinds of people are.
Matt: True dat.
Watari: Stay tuned!
Chapter 2 coming soon ^_^
