Chapter 1

It was evening in South Park, the sun setting. The snow was cleared from the streets and a wind picked up, surprisingly warm for what is used to in South Park. Spring was just around the corner meaning it was getting just a little bit warm before it turned into just warm, meaning summer, and then snow again meaning fall and winter.

Off on the street, motionless, stood a large truck. Three figures moved around inside.

"Kenneh," Cartman began wrapping his fat fingers around the steering wheel. He was staring ahead, mentally preparing himself to ride this monster. A grin surfaced on his face, "This has got to be the coolest thing you've ever done."

Kenny was riding shotgun, a grin on is face too and he was practically bouncing in his seat.

"I don't know fellas," Butters began, fidgeting in the back seat. He was rubbing his knuckles together and looking at them with fear. "I thought s-stealing was wrong."

Cartman sneered at the blonde through the back view mirror. "Shut up, Butters. Can't you see I'm basking in the glow of finally owning my own car again? Seriously."

Kenny pointed at the lever. "Start it up man, so we can go joyriding."

Cartman glared at him. "Ay, this is my moment in the spot light and I'll do things when I say so." But he set the lever on forward anyway and carefully started driving the car. This was great. For three months he hadn't been able to drive his own car because he'd been caught breaking permit rules and they'd taken it away. Now, look at him. Maybe now he could actually try running things over without worrying at damaging his car. Speaking of running things over… "Let's go by Kahl's house," he said and turned the car on a road.

Kenny frowned. "No man, go to North Park so we can hoot at people." He turned to Butters and grinned, hoping to garner some support but Butters was too busy worrying.

"Dude," Cartman started. "That's so immature." Still, Kenny could see that the idea appealed to him.

Butters sat as silent as a stone, watching as they drove out of South Park and into North Park. Oh boy, he wished Cartman hadn't dragged him in on this. If his parents found out, he was going to be grounded for sure. At seventeen, Butters' life was still controlled by his parents. Kyle had at least managed to stand up to his mom, even if most of the time she never listens. The small blonde really wished the guys would just let him out. He didn't know that Cartman in actuality just wanted a scapegoat incase they got caught. If anyone asked, it was Butters' and Kenny's idea. He was completely innocent.

"This baby drives like a breeze," Cartman commented. He couldn't help but mentally compare his piece of crap to this thing. He wished his mum had just bought him a new car instead of handing him down her old one. It angered him as hell that Kyle had a new car all his own while he was stuck driving a rusty tin, almost sinking him down to the level of Kenny. Almost. At least he had a car. Kenny couldn't afford one. Then again, Kenny had picked up a few tricks. One of them being hotwiring cars.

They passed the South Park sign and it was almost like all bets were off. They were free…to do whatever the hell they wanted which meant being worse than they were back in South Park. In South Park, everyone knew everyone so playing pranks on them was never any fun because they always got caught. But in North Park, they were unknown. Just three kids in a rockin' car.

"Whoohoo!" Kenny screamed at the top of his lungs as he poked his head out and waved his arms madly over his head. Kenny had long ago gotten rid of his orange parka. It belonged to his little sister Karen for a while. Apparently, the parka was cursed because she used to come home with bruises and scratches from falling a lot. It was either that or she really couldn't see where she was going. At least she didn't die. Kenny believed it was his extremely bad luck and the cursed parka that led to him dying so much. Now, all he had was extremely bad luck. Hell, he'd only died once this whole year. That was a new record.

"Suck my balls!" Cartman screamed at an old lady trying to cross the street. He laughed on the look on her face and when she clutched her heart. He saw a couple and he neared them yelling, "Penis, Vagina!"

"Fucker!" the man yelled back but Cartman just flipped him off. He looked back at Kenny, grin widening when he saw that Kenny was struggling to climb onto the back of the truck through the window. "Just know I'm not stopping this car for you." If anything, he sped up but Kenny didn't seem bothered. Butters on the other hand, was freaking out.

He had his nose pressed all the way up to the back window, watching as Kenny slipped once but managed to hold on. "Oh, jeez," he whispered. If Kenny fell it was certain death, but he breathed a sigh of relief when Kenny swung himself over onto the back of the truck.

He lay there for a moment but then he jumped up, cupping his hands, and yelled at Cartman, "Give me some tunes man!" He was already taking off his sweater when Cartman flicked on the radio and settled on a station that was playing "Somebody Told Me" by the Killers.

Butters had seen Kenny dance and sing before and even he had to admit that Kenny was naturally gifted in that department. When it came to rock, Kenny was the best, which is why he couldn't look away or feel embarrassed when Kenny started singing along and dancing along to the beat. People stared, some cheered, and the pair of girls that were probably walking home, screamed when he started peeling his shirt off. Everyone was staring at Kenny's bare chest now.

Butters was actually staring at the fact that Kenny had perfect balance and didn't topple over at Cartman's crazy driving, though he wouldn't deny he didn't blush at the sight of Kenny's naked chest. Kenny truly was a mystery of nature and he'd always secretly admired him, if only because he was so resilient. Butters wished he could be half as confident as Kenny.

Up in front, Cartman was howling with laughter, his pudgy hands banging on the car horn. "You're such a slut, Kenny," he yelled but no one could hear him through the noise and Kenny's awesome body.

But apparently, getting naked and singing and dancing out in the public streets was illegal because the cops showed up like an hour into the performance.

Butters gulped and melted himself completely into his seat, hiding his head in his knees and saying, "Hamburgers! I knew this was going to happen and now I'm going to be grounded for the rest of my life."

Cartman was too busy with speeding and ignoring the obvious yells from the police to pullover to tell Butters to shut up. "Get back inside, Kenny!" he yelled but Kenny ignored him and just crouched down on the back, glancing back to see the cop lights and sirens blaring at full blast. He was debating whether he should just kill himself and save himself the trouble.

"Gosh Eric, just pull over or w-we'll get in even more trouble," Butters cried. He was pretty sure tears were trickling down his face. Out of all the schemes, he'd never been in actual trouble with the police before.

"Goddammit, shut up so I can think!" But all he could think was, shit, shit, oh shit! His panic, but he would deny vehemently that it was panic and more 'I don't give a fuck' attitude, made him press down harder on the acceleration and soon they were zooming through the streets of North Park, the police in hot pursuit.

"Way to go, Cartman!" Kenny yelled back. Cartman glanced through the rearview mirror to see Kenny's grinning face. "I think they're actually bothering to film this chase." At that, Kenny pointed at one of the cars and Cartman managed to make out a second passenger thanks to the head lights with a camera in hand.

"Aw, shit!" Cartman said. The last thing he needed was evidence of this. Well, there go his plans on pinning this whole thing on Kenny. Glancing at Butters who was a melted mess of panic and shock, Cartman figured that blaming it on Butters wouldn't work either. He stared ahead at the street then, a determined look on his face. Well, guess that meant they just had to shake the cops off their tail, ditch the truck, and hike back to South Park.

Cartman and Kenny were sitting in jail waiting for morning to come. Kenny was leaning against the wall giving Cartman an amused look. "Got this under control, eh?"

"Shut up," he hissed and turned to glare at the police officer behind his desk. He stood and called, "Ay! Where the hell did Butters go?"

The officer lifted his face and frowned at them. "The blonde kid?"

"Yeah, the goddamn blonde kid," Cartman snapped. "What happened to him? Why isn't he rotting in jail here with us?"

The officer went back to filling out paper work. "We took him home. He was freaking out and in shock. You two really did a number on him. He was crying his eyes out calling for his mother."

Cartman couldn't help but laugh at that. "Yeah, that sounds like Butters." His face darkened. "But how come he got free and not us? He was in the car too goddammit!"

"You sure do swear a lot, kid."

"Not kid! I'm seventeen!"

"Calm down, Cartman," Kenny said from behind him. He was resting his head on the wall, his eyes closed. "Butters is better off at home. We should have never dragged him along anyway. He begged us to let him off but we didn't listen."

Cartman crossed his arms and flopped back down on his bunk. "He didn't say shit."

Kenny opened an eye. "It was all clear in the eyes, man. You should learn how to pay better attention to people's feelings and shit."

"And you should learn to keep you fucking mouth shut," Cartman retorted. He went to glaring back at the officer. "This is bullshit. I already said it wasn't my goddamn fault."

Kenny chuckled. "And you think they're going to believe you after dragging you out of the driver's seat and then having to struggle with you to bring you here? No way. You're as guilty as me. All we can do now is wait for morning to come so our parents can pick us up." He frowned, suddenly realizing that his parents probably wouldn't come. No car and no phone. "On second thought. Think your mom can pay my bail too?"

Cartman sneered. "Like if you're going to pay me back."

"Touché," he said and leaned back to sleep. It didn't matter to him. Jail was just as good as anything. At least in here he could get regular meals, a roof over his head, and clean clothes. Come to think of it, criminals had it big.

Cartman was still furious and he needed to vent. Butters would have been convenient but all he had was Kenny. Kenny and his ability to fucking keep his cool in situations like these. Like now for example. He'd fallen asleep in the jail cell. "Goddamn you Kenneh," he whispered. He knew he wouldn't sleep a wink and so he leaned back and glared furiously at the ceiling.

"Hungry?" the officer suddenly asked.

"Fuck you!" Cartman spat but saw the donuts he was offering and mellowed down. He composed himself and softened his voice, "Actually…"

One Week Later:

The TV blared in the living room, Ike mindlessly flipping the channels as Kyle did his homework in the kitchen. His dark eyes were already dropping when he flipped the channel again and the song "Bad boys, bad boys" started playing. Deciding that there was probably not going to be anything better, he left it on and watched as the theme song ended. The face of a middle aged cop came on view. His name was Officer Cooper.

He was talking about how usually there were never any major problems in this town but that at the moment, someone had reported a disturbance of peace.

"I'm just going to go check it out and hopefully calm the person down." He turned a street and then they spotted a truck.

Ike sat up and leaned in, gaping at the image in front of him. He almost couldn't believe it. Almost.

"Kyle," he called.

"What is it?" Kyle called back distractedly.

"You better come see this."

Sighing, Kyle dropped his pencil and scooted his chair out. Silently, he made his way to the living room where he spotted Ike staring at the screen in shock and something like amusement. "What is it?" he asked but his figured out what it was as soon as he turned to look at the screen. "Goddammit," he said.

There was Kenny, doing one of his strip tease. They could hear "Rockstar" by Nickelback playing in the background.

Kyle slapped his palm over his forehead and sighed. He just couldn't find it in his heart to be that surprised. This was Kenny and by the looks of it, Cartman, in that car. Without thinking about it, he jumped to the phone and dialed Stan's house.

"Yeah?" Shelly asked rudely on the other end of the phone.

"Can I speak to Stan please?" He waited patiently as Shelly screamed for her turd of a brother to come down and get the damn phone.

"Kyle?"

The red-head sighed and leaned on the sofa. "Dude, turn on your TV to channel 4."

"Why?" Stan asked.

"Don't ask questions, just do it." Kyle waited a moment as Stan kicked his dad off the TV for a second and flipped the channel on and Kyle knew he was seeing it because he heard his best friend gasp.

"Dude," he exclaimed. "That explains why we haven't seen Kenny for like, a week."

"And why Butters is locked away in his home and cries whenever he sees a truck. He was probably in there with them." Kyle added.

"But why didn't Cartman say anything?"

"Dude, this is Cartman."

"Right, right."

Respectively, the boys sat down on their sofas and watched the chase intently. Kyle couldn't help but marvel at Cartman's stupidity. Instead of stopping and possibly getting off with a warning, he just had to make a run for it. Kyle had no idea why Kenny was on the truck's bed, dancing, but he did wonder if he was freezing his butt off. He strained his eyes but he couldn't see Butters.

The chase went on for a good ten minutes, Officer Cooper commenting on how the truck had been reported stolen two hours ago. "These kids are in for some hell," he said. "Not only are they going to be charged with disturbance of peace, but also theft and running away from an officer."

Stan snorted on the other end.

The music from the truck was still blaring but Cartman seemed to be screaming something to Kenny who screamed right back. Kyle saw how desperate Cartman was becoming and just shook his head when Cartman decided to plow through a fence. Destruction of property was now added to the list, not only of the fence but also of the truck.

Unfortunately, this little stunt cost them because they ended up getting stuck in some thick mud and the truck wouldn't go any further.

Kyle heard Cartman cussing as the Officer Cooper got out of his car and aimed his gun at Cartman. During this whole chase, another officer car had joined the chase so now there were three guys circling the car, guns raised.

Kenny gave up immediately. He had his hands behind his head before anyone even asked him and was slowly getting out of the back of the truck, naked as the day he was born. Kyle couldn't help but blush for them both even if the TV censored it. Officer Cooper was the one to drag Cartman out by the collar of his shirt.

"It's not my fault," Cartman screamed. He pointed an accusing finger at Kenny. "He's the one that stole it and he's the one who came up with the idea to dance and run away from you guys."

"Here's another one," one of the officers commented and Kyle leaned in close to the television to see Butters, shaking and overall looking like he'd just seen a ghost. Poor guy. Immediately he could tell that this was just another one of Cartman's schemes and Butters had been dragged unwittingly for the ride. Like always.

One of the officers examined Butters' eyes and said, "He's in shock. Take him home, these two boys," he said, turning to look at them, "are the real culprits."

Cartman was still screaming as Officer Cooper repeated his Miranda rights, handcuffing him while he was at it. It was like the sound of the cuffs locking in place drove Cartman mad because he started struggling like crazy screaming, "It's not my fault, dammit!" Both Stan and Kyle gaped at the fact that Cartman managed to break free for a moment to run for it, but Officer Cooper was faster. He tackled him down to the mud before he even got three steps away.

The officer holding Butters handed the fragile boy to the other officer still holding on to a very amused Kenny, and went to help Officer Cooper. Kyle watched as the officers wrestled Cartman into fatigue, but not his mouth. Cartman's mouth was still flying a million miles per hour, cussing and swearing at them with every foul word he knew.

"Do it, do it, do it," Kyle urged and Stan started the chant on the other end. Finally, they peppered sprayed Cartman on the face and both boys jumped off the sofa in a triumphant howl.

"They got him!" Stan called from the other end happily. It was like they were watching a football game and someone had just scored the winning point.

Kyle was laughing so hard, tears were coming from his eyes. "Now I understand why Cartman wore dark glasses the other day."

"Dude," Stan said calming down, "we should totally throw this at his face."

Kyle nodded. "Yeah, tomorrow. And we should probably go visit Kenny. By the looks of it, he's still in jail." And so, having settled it, they talked a bit more before Kyle hung up and went back to do his homework leaving Ike to wonder about what had just happened. Instead of freaking out, Kyle had laughed and smiled. He shook his head deciding he would never understand the relationship his brother shared with people he supposedly called friends. Then again, Cartman was not considered a friend by anyone, maybe only Butters and possibly Kenny, which explained why they were the ones to join Cartman in the ride. Ike shook his head again and clicked the TV off. It was bed time and he had to get up early tomorrow.

A/N: Don't know why this was written, it just was. There's a second part coming soon and that'll be it. Hope you enjoyed. Leave a review to let me know what you thought.