Me- I do not own Twilight.
Emmett- Yes you do.
Me- REALLY!!!
Emmett- No. Psyche!!!
Me- Jackass!!!
Summary- Nessie is a rebellious hard ass teenager with an obsession with coffee. Her life is good with pranks and her friends, nothing could go wrong. Until a certain celebrity comes to her school and changes the way she feels about things. With a few shocks along the way. OOC, canon pairings, AH.
Nessie Swan- 16
Jacob Black-16
Bella Swan- 17
Edward Cullen-17
Emmett Cullen- 18
Rosalie Hale- 18
Alice Cullen-17
Jasper Whitlock- 18
Enjoy my beauties.
Nessie POV
"Emmett. Are you sure you know they plan?" I double checked for the umpteenth time.
"Yes. I'm not an idiot Ness" He sighed.
"Now we both know that's not true" I laughed.
"Touché" He laughed back.
"Well" I grinned. "Let's put this baby in action"
I headed to the door, assuming my 18 year old best friend was behind me. When I didn't hear his heavy footsteps, I turned to look at him. He was looking at me with mock emotion on his face.
"I am so proud of you. My little protégée" He pretended to wipe a tear from his cheek.
I laughed again and signalled him to follow me to the hallway, so 'Operation Hardman stinker' could commence. Mr Hardman was our behaviour coordinator. He sorted out detentions, expulsions and what not. He was one of the best in the state. It was rumoured –mainly by me- that he had actually changed his name so we would 'Fear' him. Not realising the only affect 'Hardman' created was "Wow, what a douche" Anyway, where was I? It was his leaving party and we wanted to give him a little something for him to remember us by. A stink bomb. It's was admittedly old school, but a classic and effective by all means. Unfortunately, the two pupils who were most happy to see him go had been giving a warning that if we attended, they would screw us up (The bad way). We had been called into the headmaster's office -not a first for us- who had warned "If we see either of your faces at Mr Hardman's leaving do, you will face immediate suspension. For six weeks. Do you understand? He has helped us a lot this year and we want his leaving event to be a happy one" And, he'd scoffed when I innocently suggested that we wanted to apologise for our bad behaviour at the event. So, unfortunately we had to bring our plan down a notch.
The positive of his threat, was that he had left a loophole. Finding them was a speciality of mine. Mr Shackle, the headmaster, had distinctively said if we see either of your faces. If they didn't see our faces, they couldn't suspend us.
That's where our masks came in. They were basic black beanies, but rolled down too cover our faces and necks. Eye and mouth holes cut out.
We were reaching the cafeteria now. Where the ceremony was taking place.
"Ness, cover your face" Emmett instructed. I complied and he proceeded in pulling down his beanie.
I had to admit, I felt more bad-ass than usual. All dressed in black; Black heeled boots, black skinny's, black hoodie. Very cool.
"Ouch. Mother Fucker!" Emmett cussed loudly, making me jump. I whipped around to see he had walked into a wall.
And it wasn't a surprise. The idiot had forgotten a certain thing.
"Em! You were supposed to cut out the damn eye holes, as well as the mouth hole!" I yelled. The music was loud and pumping in the gym. They wouldn't hear us.
"There's no need for that tone young lady" He retorted, rubbing his forehead through the fabric.
"Young Lady. Do you really wanna go there Emmett? Do you?" I hissed.
He was silent for a few seconds and hesitated before saying. "I can't see your face...but judging by the way you said that and how well I know you. I'm assuming you're really pissed off....So...no. I don't wanna go there" He laughed nervously. I couldn't blame the dude. He had witnessed my temper often, and been a victim of my temper more than often. I could be a scary bitch when I wanted to be.
"Good choice. Now take of your beanie"
"You're gonna kick my ass, aren't you? Nessie. You know you only win because I know, if I did fight you, you'd only end up hurt. And, I love ya Ness. There's a chance I'd feel bad about it...later"
I ignored that comment. It'd only get the goofball in more trouble. Instead, I shook my head –pointlessly considering he still had his mask on- and sighed "No. I'm just going to have to cut out some eyeholes."
"Oh, okay" He pulled it off and threw it to me, exposing his dimpled grin. When I was 8, I had a teeny crush on Emmett, but that went out of the window when he nicknamed me 'Loch Ness Monster'. He was very attractive. Permanent dimples, green eyes, dark brown curly hair. Despite his humongous muscles and 6'3 frame, they were still his most noticeable features. He always had a neatly shaved face.
I let my backpack fall of my back and dug through it till I found some fabric scissors. I cut two holes into it and threw it back to him. His expression confused and calculating.
"Nessie. What the hell are you doing with fabric scissors in your backpack" He knelt down towards it, and rummaged about in it. "And...Jumper cables?"
I had a lot of necessary –to me, to other people...not so much- objects in my backpack. None of them being school books, but, that's what the small top shelf of your locker was meant for. You never know when you would need the objects in there. I carried it around everywhere. The innocent things for pranks where in my locker. Along with a jacket. And an extra set of Converse All-Star. But, when it came to my backpack...let's just say it's a good thing we don't have metal detectors at Forks high.
I quickly zipped up my backpack and threw it over my shoulders. We began walking again. He put the beanie back on and over his face
"Hey. I used to be a girl scout. 'Be Prepared' and all that crap"
He didn't look convinced. "You were a girl scout for 2 weeks. Long enough for you to get the manual and I think it must have been 18 packets of thin mints. Then you got kicked out for throwing a chair at a dude who tried to buy a packet"
Oh yeah. Good times. Good times. I laughed lightly, "What's so bad about that?"
"He was 5"
"In my defence, I gave him a packet of Peanut Butter Patties afterwards"
"But you still made him pay"
I waved my hand in front of me in a forget-about-it manner "Details. Details"
We stopped at the doors, looking through the glass panels. Mr Shackle was now introducing Mr Hardman, for a speech. Students and teachers were quieting down and looking to the crappy self-built stage, where the two men stood.
Oh, this was just too perfect. Em obviously thought so too, by the way he was rubbing his hands together and snickering giddily.
My whole body tightened with excitement. I put my hand on the handle. Emmett had 8 stink bombs in his large hand. His other hand poised ready to pull the caps off when I opened the door.
Three.
Two.
One.
I heaved the door open and yelled "Smell these SUCKERS!!!" as Emmett threw them in random directions. I let the door slam shut and we pelted it down the opposite hallway, already hearing complaints and retching sounds. I heard the door swing open and Mr Sucker- I mean Hardman yell. "Stop right there!" Like he was a freaking cop.
We were halfway down the third corridor when I started to fall behind. Emmett, about forty feet in front of me, stopped as he saw me so far behind. Without a second thought, he sprinted back to me.
"WHY ARE YOU STOPPING?!?!"
"Walking with extremely heavy backpack I can do. Running, I can't!" I panted. I couldn't believe I had found a flaw in my almost bullet-proof plan. The angry/disgusted voices were quickly approaching.
He groaned and yanked it from me onto his own back muttering "Jeez. You're such a girl sometimes" as though it was an insult.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. The 'pack having no affect on his speed. The voices were further back now. Despite the slightly intense but mostly comical situation, I couldn't help but think about how it was awesome that, not only were me and Emmett partners in crime, but we were great friends. Practically siblings. When it looked like I could get caught, he ran straight up to me to save my ass, even though there was a chance he could get caught and have to repeat senior year...again.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when Emmett stopped suddenly. "FUCK!!!" He was glaring towards the door. I followed his glance and saw that people were heading towards it. Teachers.
We had two options. The stairs or the other direction.
"The stairs" We both concluded at the same time. It was epic I could run perfectly in heels, not that I wore them too often. All praise Alice for insisting I learn the fine art of not breaking an ankle in high heels.
At the top of the stairs we tried all the door handles in the brightly lit corridor. Typical that the last one we try should be the only one to open.
"In here" I whisper yelled, letting myself in.
Emmett shut the door behind him. We each hid under a separate table. Letting my eye's adjust to the dark room, I looked around. I noticed I was in Mr Banner's room. I liked Mr Banner. He was the one teacher who just laughed at some of the things I pulled in lesson time instead of like the other teachers who got all pissy when I insulted their hair –or lack of it. He even informed me of some of the pranks he had pulled in his day. I'd bet my first lay, that he left the door open in anticipation of me pulling something tonight. Yeah, he was definitely my favourite teacher. He only gave me detention 7 times in the whole semester. And all those were because I insulted, tripped up, or hit another student.
We were silent for roughly 10 minutes, only our breathing could be faintly heard, when we heard harsh voices. And something else...I craned my neck and listened harder. Crap! It was the rattling of door handles.
Through the misted glass, I could see the shadow of someone walking toward this classroom.
"Jim. Is your door open?!" A voice identical to Mr Hardman asked.
"Umm. Let me just check" Replied Mr Banner.
The shadow of Mr B walked to the door and I quickly hid back under the desk. I heard the handle wiggle, but no attempt to open the door was made,
"Nope. Couldn't be in here. Locked up nice and tight. Maybe whoever it was went the other way. Let's go"
Way to go Mr B!!! I swear, if I had a thing for bald, fifty something men, I'd invite him into my bed without delay. But I don't...so I won't. I should probably send him a tree to plant or something. Maybe buy him a microscope. He's a science teacher right. Dude! That teacher just ROCKS!!!
"Nah. Forget it. Phil, why don't you head back to the cafeteria? The smell should go soon. Get everyone back in there...maybe open some windows. We'll be there in a minute." Mr Shackles suggested calmly. I heard Mr Banner walk away.
I peeked out from under my desk towards the desk Emmett was hid under. He peeked out as well and grinned at me. I grinned back, making no attempt to move because Mr S and Mr H where still out there. I looked back towards the glass.
They exchanged a few quiet murmurs and followed in the direction of Banner. When all was silent I looked back at Emmett, and crawled near him. We were silent for a second before we burst out in loud guffaws, clutching our stomachs whilst tears rolled down our faces. I gasped for air.
"Dude. That was so epic!" I laughed.
"Yeah. It was"
I froze.
That didn't come out of Emmett's mouth. He had snapped his mouth shut when he heard the male speak.
I turned around from under the desk. Not breathing.
There stood five tight lipped people.
"GUYS!!!" I lunged at them. Hugging them tightly. There stood Bella (my big sister), Edward (Bella's long term boyfriend, and Emmett's younger brother), Alice (Edward's twin, Emmett's younger sister), Jasper (Alice's long term boyfriend), Rosalie (Emmett's long term girlfriend, Jasper's cousin).
Those, including me and Emmett, made a group of best friends. We were unbelievably close. Best friends, seemed inadequate when describing our relationship. We didn't have secrets.
To be honest, we were all pretty great, individually, as well as together.
Bella. She was my big sister and also my best friend. I was closer to her than any other person in the world. Bella was one of the smartest chicks I knew. But she had a bad-ass rebellious side which proved whose sister she was. She had long wavy pretty brown hair. In the sunlight, streaks of red would show up. She had the same eyes as me, a warm chocolate brown colour. She was a few inches taller than me at 5'6 and had a slender frame, with great curves in all the right places. Edward was a lucky guy.
Then again, so was Bella. Edward was mighty fine being ripped pretty well. Nothing compared to Emmett's brawn however. He had bronze hair and captivating green eyes. Like his big brother. He was about 6'4. He was a sexy dude and had a crooked smile to die for. He had a light stubble what added to his orgasmic-worthy-ness. If only Bella didn't love him. Edward and I had a good relationship. I had always seen him as a big brother, and his dating Bella just furthered that. He was extremely protective of me; he'd be the first person to threaten a guy I liked to take care of his 'adopted sister', forgetting I could take care of myself and knew how to throw a good punch. Him, Jasper and Emmett had taught me...They regretted that sometimes.
Alice looked nothing like her twin brother, except from the enticing eyes. She was tiny, everything about her screamed petite. She was a small 5'3 frame, 1 inch smaller than me. But her elfin face and tiny body, made her look extremely smaller. Her features were soft though, not fat, but not all bone. She had a pretty good pair of breasts. They just accented her body. She didn't have chicken fillets, but they didn't look like her bra had been stuffed with beach balls. Because her boyfriend, Jasper, was the tallest in the group at 6'5, she insisted she must always walk in 6 INCH heels. I swear, the day that dude impregnates her and she can't walk in heels because of her bump, she will use her heels to shove up his ass. We had a fun relationship. Alice may look like a happy little Pixie, but damn, she could be scary when she wanted too. Say, when I refused to go shopping with her. SHE ACTUALLY CHASED ME AROUND THE WOODS NEAR MY HOME. The one day she wears tennis shoes.
Jasper. Now he was cool. He had this southern gentleman thing about him (He lived in the south before he moved to Forks 12 years ago, but has still managed to keep a trace of his accent), but he was anything but –well, except to Alice and parents. The ass kisser- He was a total dude. He taught me to burp the alphabet, drink tons but not get drunk, and how to sneak out the house without getting caught. That came in handy very often. He could be in the CIA with his stealth. He was like a snake. Jazz has honey blond hair with light blue eyes. Tall and lean but muscles that are dribble worthy. Like Edwards...I should probably watch those guys work out sometime. That's a show I would pay to see.
Rosalie was Jaspers cousin. No wonder Emmett gawped at her whenever she walked in the room. She. Was. Damn. Fine. I'm not ashamed to say I have a girl crush on her. She belonged on Sports Illustrated. She was the tallest of the girls at 5'9. Her curves were perfect and her breasts were prefect. Big, round and real. I didn't think all those three could co-exist when boobies were involved. Her hair was a light blonde. It flowed down just past her shoulder blades. Rosalie looked like a fucking angel. But she swore like a fucking sailor. I think that's what makes her more attractive. Her eyes were impossible a lighter shade of blue then her cousins. Another great thing about Rosalie was that she had such a dry sense of humour.
All of a sudden they burst out laughing, it startled me.
"What?"
"Nessie. Honey" Alice began. I looked at her, glaring. I was nothing like honey. I wasn't sweet. I was sour. "Why have you been staring at Rose's breasts for the last five minutes?!" She laughed loudly.
Well, damn. That's embarrassing. I looked at Rosalie who had a smug smile on her face. And Emmett, who was grinning at me.
"Oh. I was just seeing if that thing Emmett told me about them being completely different sizes was right" I shrugged.
Emmett's grin completely dropped, astounded and confused. Rosalie actually hissed at him, glowering. He actually flinched. I almost felt bad for lying. Almost.
"Of course. They look perfect to me Rose" All round and firm. "Maybe Emmett confused your breasts with his balls"
Rosalie's expression changed from anger to humour in half a second, she burst out laughing. They could tell when I was talking crap...most of the time.
Emmett looked at me with mock hurt on his face. "I can't believe you would say that Nessie. We stink bombed a celebration together." He shook his head sadly.
I laughed and began to walk to the door. We would have to be as stealthy as possible getting out.
So, what d'ya think?
Lame?
Trying too hard to sound funny?
Feel free to point out any errors I've made. BTW, I live in England, so some spelling might be spelt that way to me. *Shrugs*
Leave me a review telling me if you found it funny and want me to continue as well as what sort of pranks you've ever pulled at school.
Mrs Emacular
xXx
P.S. I think I'm gonna write three chapters, and if people don't like it. I'll stop. If they do, I'll continue.
