Jim sat on his bed, hands in his lap and staring his shoes. Jim tried to fight back the tears that threatened to fall, but it was hard. His heart was already breaking, and he knew that soon it would shatter into irreparable pieces. This was the end, he knew that, it was all over now. That was when the dam broke and the flood came. Spock was in his quarters speaking to his father, Sarek was not at all pleased with Spock's choice to bond to Jim. Spock and Jim have been lovers for nearly a year, and Spock had announced to his father and the Vulcan elders a few days ago of his intention to bond to his captain. Sarek was just now able to get in contact to the Enterprise due to its proximity to the Vulcan colony. Spock had known that Sarek would probably not be pleased with the news, and had told Jim as much.
Jim sighed and crawled further up on his bed where he curled up into a ball hugging his pillow to his chest and sobbing into it. It was the end, the end of the best thing that had ever happened to him, the end of him and Spock, it was all over.
Jim did not look up when he heard the door to the bathroom that connected his and Spock's quarters open. Nor did he look up when he heard Spock's distinctive footsteps grow closer and closer to the bed. He wanted to delay the inevitable; he didn't want to hear the words he knew Spock would say. He was not the logical choice, Jim knew that, and he was sure that Sarek would point that out to Spock, would make Spock see that he was being illogical and he would leave Jim and seek another more logical mate. Jim buried his face deeper into his pillow, hiding his tear-streaked face from Spock's view. He would be strong when Spock told him that he was not the logical choice and that it was time for them to end their romantic relationship. He would not allow Spock to see him cry. He would let Spock leave gracefully and once Spock was gone he would allow himself to cry once again, after all it wasn't like he didn't know this day would come. And after it was all over, they would go back to being friends, and Jim would hide everything he felt.
"Jim?" Spock asked stopping by the bed, Jim did not raise his head from his pillow. "Jim are you asleep?" Spock asked and Jim shook his head against his pillow. To Spock it just looked like Jim was saying no, he would not know that Jim was wiping the tears on his face away. When he was relatively sure that Spock would not notice he had been crying he lifted his head out of the pillow and pasted on a fake smile as he looked at Spock.
"Hey, what's up?" Jim asked sitting up and placing the pillow back in its place so that Spock could sit as well. Spock raised an eyebrow and kneeled on the narrow bunk studying Jim's face.
"You have been crying" Spock stated and Jim sighed looking down at his hands.
"How'd you know?" Jim asked.
"Despite your attempt to hide the evidence from me by dimming the lights in your quarters, you forgot that Vulcans have perfect vision in low lighting. Now tell me my T'hy'la what has caused you to cry?" Spock asked.
"Your father..." Jim began and paused to take a deep breath before he began again, but before he could continue Spock spoke.
"I am confused, how has my father upset you? To my knowledge you and my father have not spoken recently" Spock asked.
"Let me finish" Jim said and Spock nodded his head letting Jim continue. "You said he would probably be upset about the news of our bonding. I knew he'd call and tell you that I was not a logical choice for a mate. And I knew that you'd leave me, I knew you'd see that I'm not a logical choice and find another more logical choice" Jim finished.
"Ashaya, despite what my father thinks, and yes he did attempt to tell me you were not a logical choice and that I should find another. But I do not wish to find another, I wish to bond to you, I wish to spend many years with you. When we arrive at the Vulcan colony I will take you as my mate, no matter what my father says" Spock told him.
"What if he disowns you? What if he ends up not speaking to you again?" Jim asked.
"It matters not to me if my father wishes to disown me, I will be content as long as you are by my side. If he does not wish to speak to me, then so be it. I will not abandon you, no matter what my father does" Spock promised.
"You told me that I'd have to be welcomed into your clan before we'd be able to bond, your father won't welcome me" Jim pointed out.
"You will be welcomed, if my father will not welcome you, I have spoken to my grandmother on this matter, she will welcome you. My father will not be able to deny her wish" Spock replied.
"Why not?" Jim asked.
"I have told you I am from the house of Surak, but I have not told you that my grandmother is T'Pau" Spock explained. Jim stared at him.
"She's the matriarch of Vulcan, she's the only person to turn down a seat on the federation council" Jim said slightly awed.
"That and the fact that she is an elder on the high council, means that my father will not be able to do anything if she welcomes you into our clan, which she has already guaranteed to do, you need not worry Jim, you will be my bondmate" Spock retorted.
"I'm glad, all I want is to spend the rest of my life with you" Jim told him.
"And I, you" Spock agreed taking Jim's hand in his and interlacing their fingers before bending down and kissing Jim the human way as well. Jim smiled against Spock's mouth before kissing him again, leaning back on the bed.
When they arrived at the Vulcan colony Jim would become Spock's mate, he would be with Spock for the rest of his life. Spock would be his, and he would be Spock's, and nothing Sarak did or said would change that. They'd always be together; they'd always have each other. And that was all Jim had ever wanted, somebody who'd always be with him.
AN-Yes T'Pau is actually Spock's grandmother, she is his great grandmother
Translation-Ashaya- beloved
T'hy'la- Friend/brother/lover
