The Heart In the Woman
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Characters of Brennan, Booth or any from the TV show "BONES" Though, even when I fully respect Hart Hanson, sometimes I wish I were the writer! :)
Summary: This is a flashback to those three weeks in between B&Bs last case together and their goodbyes in The Beginning in the End (5.22) Hope you like it!
Chapter One
Two Metaphorical Hearts
Booth felt his lion heart pound just like as if he were holding one of those war guns he would hold again once he were in Afghanistan.
That hand, in between his, was soft, but at the same time strong and capable of great pain.
Pain, to his heart.
As he looked into her eyes, he could see that what had happened a couple of nights before, wasn't just a goodbye.
And then, he let go.
Three weeks before
Booth and Brennan were at the Founding Fathers. The case, had been relatively easy and it was time for them to discuss one last time their futures. Their separate futures.
"So, this is it right? We caught the murderer, found peace for the dude and got to clean that filthy apartment of his." Said Booth as he stirred a spoon inside his coffee cup.
"Yes" nodded Brennan seeming rather inattentive.
"Euh... Bones, you Ok?" Booth asked, worried she was answering in auto-pilot.
Booth just kept looking at her, expecting an answer. However, she did not respond, she just looked into his eyes and with watery moon-like eyes moved her lips, trying to say some words that wouldn't come out.
"Booth... Booth, I..." She stuttered. Fearful, but impulsively, Brennan got up and pulled him by the hand while wiping her tears with the other hand.
"Bones what's going on? Please, will you tell me?" He said while not understanding why she was dragging him towards the door so quickly.
They fast walked towards the wide streets of Washington. She had stopped crying, and as un-Brennan as it seemed, she felt relieved to have dropped some tears and was Booth was, too.
They walked awkwardly quiet, neither of them dared to say anything. It was Booth who could not say anything. Brennan, simply, wanted to save her words until the moment they got to where they were headed to.
Was she going to do the right thing?... Is this really the moment to...? Were the questions running in her mind, while they approached the Washington Memorial.
It was a windy night and since it was 9 PM there weren't as many tourists as there would be during the daytime. And this was just the way Temperance Brennan liked the Mall, like the Bone Room: she thought this was a place where she could hear her thoughts, if she actually believed that was Ok. It would definitely be a sign of I'm schizophrenia if I actually did. And this was one of those nights where she would need those thoughts to talk to her.
Booth was still lost by her sudden action. This was not like the Bones he had been with for the past five years. Or was she? Was this impulsive person the one he was in love with? or the one that couldn't make up her mind without a pros and cons list?
When she finally let go of his hand, she walked a few steps away from him trying to catch a breath before starting to talk. They were now in from of the reflecting pool, looking towards the obelisk, the Washington Monument. Was this the time to tell him?
"Bones..." He was ready to say when she turned.
"Booth, I..." Crossed arms, she looked down with a fully open mouth and then looked up at him.
"There's some things you must know... I mean, before we leave DC". She was now staring at his eyes with a worried look that was tearing his heart. The light coming from the posts next to the reflecting pool, were now reflecting some rays into his eyes and she could see those black, ensuring eyes that caught her 6 years before the moment they were sharing. The pupils dilated, his eyes wide open.
"I told you I couldn't. That night. I... couldn't." She said as she stepped closer to the man in her life. "I am not ready, Booth. But what you didn't understand is that, I want to be ready...I do" she said as she now moved closer to Booth.
He was disoriented. That night, outside the Hoover, she had told him she didn't want to be with him and he didn't understand why she was bringing this issue now, that they were about to go other ways.
"I-I know, I hurt you, I should have told you how I felt at the moment but I was..."
"Scared" he said, when he understood what was going on. "You were scared" He repeated and got closer to her. He see her softening the features in her face as he put his right hand in her shoulder.
"Rationally speaking, there was nothing to be afraid of, you re harmless to me." She said as she moved a bit closer and lowering down her voice to a whisper "In a physico-logical way you are a strong man and I should fear you, but what I mean to say is that I'm not scared of you... I'm scared, of what I might do... to you."
By now, her voice as wrecking. She had kept it together until she said it. "I cannot offer that kind of love you look for. I don't even know what love means. And, under all that, sniper-army training strength you have, I know, I will hurt you" She said, as she pulled her body against her partner's.
Booth felt confused, he could not believe what he was hearing. Was she really that blind? Was she really not capable of seeing all the good unsolicited things she had done for her friends, for him, and even for the murderers when they regretted their actions?
"Bones... " He said as he tried to think his words carefully "There's nothing. Nothing you could do to hurt me more than you not realizing what's going on here" He said and saw her lift her face toward his. She let him see her quizzical eyes, but still expectant and that let him know he should go on.
"You, are the standard. I've told you that, haven't I?" He said as she nodded. "Well, then, you should also know, that you are all I know, and what I want. I mean... Bones, for god's sake! you have saved my life, several times, you've been there when I've needed your help, you... you have been great to my son, and that my dear Bones, is something I cannot say of many people"
At first, there was a moment when she could feel the words dance into her heart, but then she made a rational point. This is not the moment to fall apart. "Parker likes a lot of people. He enjoys sharing stories from school with Angela... and Sweet, you know how much he likes mocking Sweets" She said as an smirk crawled into her face but faded when she told him she was not as good as them with kids, and that that had been a social demonstration of love, she had not been able to forge with anyone.
"Bones, no.. You are better than you think you are, and I'm not saying anything related to your IQ, we both know that Einstein would be scared of your brain..." He said trying to humor her, but she was buried in his chest and did not react to his hyperbole "What I mean to say, Bones... is that, if I ever wanted anyone to be part of my life, is you. Only you. That heart of yours, is as big as mine and, believe it or not, bigger than mine. I'm sure, that anyone worthy enough of it, will be the happiest person on Earth."
He stared at her frightened eyes for a few seconds. He knew his words had affected her in several levels, and he wasn't sure if a tear had rolled to her right cheek when she looked down. She slowly stepped away from him, still with her head pointing to the floor.
"Do you really think my ... metaphorical heart, is as big as yours?" She said as she lifted and tilted her head and gave him a shy smile.
"Bigger" He said trying to smile back at her, timidly.
Then she knew. This was the night she would say it.
"Booth?" she said, now a troubled look invading her face. "Would you stay at my place tonight? It's Ok if you do not want to, but I really..." She did the best to explore her emotions and say "feel... we should talk. After all, isn't this our last night as 'partners'?"
He hesitated for a minute and looked around. What this what he wanted?. Did he really want to spend more time trying to convince her to love him? After all, this is not the way things should be, he thought. And then it hit him. Maybe, just maybe, this would be the night when she'd tell him how she really felt. Whatever that was.
"We'll see where the night leads us, let's go wait for a cab" He said, as he placed his hand on the small of her back. When he did, she quivered and Booth felt it, too. "Bones, are you cold?"
"No" She answered. And then they both realized that the feeling of Booth's hand in her lower back, was more meaningful than ever now that Brennan was sure of what she felt for him.
Yay! You made it to the end, so that means you didn't fall asleep while reading it! That's cool, I hope you enjoyed it!
Did you like the first chapter? I'm not a native English speaker, so excuse me if I made mistakes and you can't keep up with my train of thoughts. If you've got any doubts about this or what to just say "Hi"," Keep going", "This is horrible", or whatever, please review and I'll know what I should do next.
Kissed from Chile! :)
