Shine a Light
He was a monster. There was no debate about it, he had always been a monster, he always would be, especially after what he had done. To Her, Gwen, his Gwen, no, not his, she constantly reminded his not to objectify her, or she used to, now… It was too painful, but he endured it, it was the only real feeling he had left, Eleven had control of the rest. he thought of her, with the limited amount of his own mind he was allowed, her smile, her laugh, her long, vibrant red hair, the way she walked on her tip toes when she ascended the stairs, her love for sherbet and the way she licked the bowl clean as she ate it. It hurt, but he loved the feeling, it was all he had left. He image he had on her was so clear, so vivid, so real, he ached to touch her, but he couldn't, she wasn't here, not really and she must hate him after all he'd done, as he left the last time he'd seen her, he'd caught a glimpse of her face. She cried, she never cried, he must have really hurt her, but she couldn't be feeling worse than he did, no-one could. He felt he was being torn apart, drenched in acid and burned all at the same time as Eleven tried desperately to banish him. But all that was nothing compared to the pain he felt about what he had done to Gwen. He would never be forgiven.
Tell me are you feeling strong
strong enough to love someone
and make it through the hardest storm
and bad weather
She couldn't do anything; it felt all wrong, sickening. How could he? Why? She barely spoke, never to Ben, rarely to her Parents. But how could she? There was no-one to talk to, no-one who would understand. She wanted him back, but he wouldn't come, she knew her Kevin was still in there, why else would he spare her when he had the chance to end her life. She felt empty, like nothing of hers was actually hers anymore, like when, Kevin was lost, everything else was lost too, he took it all with him, and she hated him for making her like this, she despised him, loathed every single thing about him. Yet, she loved him too, he was sick and he needed her but she couldn't find away to help him, to make him better, to bring him back. Everything was wrong when he was gone. This situation made he realise that and more, like how much she needed him, how much she craved his presence, his smell, motor oil and car wax, his near constant cocky attitude that she loved, the snarky, sarcastic comments he constantly made at inappropriate moments. From the outside Ben looked to be the most important member of their team, but he wasn't. It was Kevin, he was the life and soul of the group, he brought the adventure, the fun, the love. And while Gwen made the team work, Kevin kept them that way. They needed him, she needed him.
Will you pull me from the flames
Hold me till I feel no pain
and give me shelter from the rain
for ever
The small mental control he held was not enough, he could barely think of anything, he found her could scarcely remember who he was, what his own mother looked like, what his own reflection used to look like. strange though, he could picture Gwen so clearly, so he held onto it, clutched it so tightly, it was his only hope of regaining his humanity. The since the… accident, he'd seen her almost anywhere he went, normally it turned out to be someone else, sometimes they didn't even look in anyway remotely like her, maybe he was insane, maybe they were right, if he saw her so much, could recall every conversation they had ever had, head her voice inside of his head. He had to find her, the longing, the feelings that he felt were one thing that Eleven could not control, he may control everything else, but not this. He needed to find her, to see her one more time, to remove the look of incurable sadness that didn't belong on her stunning face.
Where can I find her?
She took the light and left me in the dark, eh
She left me with a broken heart, eh
Now I'm on my own
If anybody sees her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her
She called to him every night. Weather silently or not, she was sure he heard her; she spoke louder, clearer than she ever had before, she had to reach him, he had to see her, understand what he meant to her. Ben said that Kevin was gone but he didn't know, she did, he said Kevin was insane, then she was too, calling to nothing, awaiting a reply that would never come, he would come back, she was so sure he would, because he had to, not just because he had unfinished business, because… she didn't know why, she just knew he would return. She called to him more, he would here her, she wouldn't stop until he was back home, back with her and safe from the malevolent presence lurking in his head, the presence that she knew currently occupied his consciousness.
Tell me can you hear my voice
loud and clear above the noise
Even if I had the choice
I would not give up
He searched, searched within himself, gathering all he could remember about the most wonderful girl who had ever existed. The time they went to the lake, just them, no-one else, splashing in the water, admiring her recently bought bikini, watching the water travel slowly down her tanned, flat stomach, glinting in the sunlight. The picnic in the park, she ate the bowl of cherries in such a strange, amusing way… it vanished, gone, poof. Where? He couldn't remember anything about her, nothing! What had Eleven done! A sickening laugh shook his very core.
I can not find her
She took the light and left me in the dark, eh
She left me with a broken heart, eh
She cried, so much she was unable to stop, the tears came with no end, forever flowing. She needed him, without him the world seemed too much, everything seemed so overwhelming, she couldn't deny that the her real motivation was him, though she pretended other wise e was the real reason why she helped Ben so much, why she tried so hard in school, he was her inspiration, for everything. She felt alone, no-one could help, no-one knew what to do in a situation like this. He left her, left her broken and beyond repair, he meant so much to her, he was more important that anything, than everything! But he was gone… and she was alone.
Now I'm on my own
If anybody sees him (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on him (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on him (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on him (eh, eh)
If anybody sees him
If he were capable of it, he would have been angry, but that was not longer the case, he felt but one emotion, pain, he used his logical side, limited though it was, and overpowered the constant suppressing personality that threatened to erase any evidence if him. He knew he had to, for a reason he didn't know why, to protect… people? The Sunset! In the park, he and Gwen, laughing, watching the sun slip below the skyline, leaving the sky in shades of red and orange and purple, the sunset its self was beautiful, but it held nothing to her. His Birthday with Gwen! In all her stunning glory, celebrating and he turned seventeen, eating cake and blowing out a circle of candles, one for each year he'd been alive. Then as he spoke the three immortal words that changed everything, cupping her face with his hand, his fingers would through hers, he gazed into her eyes, forgetting what he was going to say, he shook his head, his raven haired head and spluttered out what he had intended to say, she gasped and said it back, winding her fingers into his overgrown hair and pulling him down to her level for a kiss…
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her
She could remember in so clearly, remember everything they ever did together, everywhere they went, all they saw, like the clearing down by the lake, in the circle of trees that the moon shone directly into creating a pool of silvery light, in which she spun, twirling and laughing, admiring the beautiful scenery, and he, he stood in thee shadows, watching, laughing, she danced over to him and pulled him out into the moonlight, he placed his hand on her waist and twirled her, the sundress she wore, fanning out around her body, he dipped her down, so low that her hair brushed the grass, he brought his face close to hers and kissed her. The times were so happy, they made her want it all back, to rewrite time and stop him from doing something so stupid that it would result in this, his leaving.
He took the light and left me in the dark, eh
Fe left me with a broken heart, eh
Now I'm on my own
He remembered! Everything about her, the way she could take out everything in her path with a single kick in the right position, the way the amazing abilities both fascinated him and terrified him, the way she could flip anything and anybody. How they worked together to crush anything that threatened each other. How he'd felt when he thought she would leave, how he knew he was nothing with out her, he knew that is anything ever hut her, he would kill them. He knew that he was hurting her, no, not him, Eleven.
If anybody sees her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her
Eleven was hurting her! He squirmed and felt himself regain a small piece of his own mind, if he could have smirked he would have, Eleven was afraid of him. This was good, this meant he could find away to return, to go home, to his family, to his friends… to Gwen.
