Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. Or Holly. Or Foaly. Or anyone, really.
#1) His aversion to any clothing that is not a suit.
Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon was currently chortling with laughter on the plush carpet of Fowl Manor.
"Honestly, Holly, this is not something to laugh about!" Artemis Fowl II snapped.
In truth, it really was something to laugh about. The mud boy wanted to go to the beach in slacks and a polo shirt. It was like he didn't even know the definition of casual.
Holly was on one of her few paid vacations of the year, and she wasted no time on getting a surface visa to see Artemis. She'd only been up for two days so far. After the elf expressed interest in spending time outdoors, Juliet had persuaded Fowl to take a trip to White Sands, a private beach on the coast of Ireland owned by the Fowl family. Naturally, the Jade Princess herself and Butler came along. The group was currently packing.
"Are you actually serious, Arty? You're going to wear pants to a beach?" Holly choked out.
"Yes, and I don't see the problem with my choice of attire," the ex-criminal mastermind replied frostily, "It's not like I'll be swimming anyway."
"But still! It's way too hot for pants right now. Don't you own anything that doesn't belong in a business conference?" Holly exclaimed.
"That is beside the point, Holly. The point is that I will not be seen wearing any clothing as common as swimming trunks. I cannot even envision myself in something so…tasteless," said Artemis, scandalized.
But Holly could. The mud boy has really grown up over the years, she thought. I should be calling him mud man now.
It was true. For all his eighteen years of age, Fowl looked like someone you would find on a Ralph Lauren ad. With his immaculate raven hair and well-defined features, you could easily consider him exceptionally handsome. He could have quite a way with the ladies, but his complete lack of tact and boorishness prevented that from happening.
Holly let out an internal chuckle at the thought the genius wearing swim trunks. Even though Butler had him started on some physical training routines (sometimes it was a bit had for the man-giant to sleep at night while Arty was off on his adventures without him), Fowl still retained a slightly scrawny build. It was not unpleasant, though.
I am going to have to take a picture of Artemis in his swimsuit for Foaly, thought Holly. It would be a Christmas present come early. Not to mention great blackmail.
"Oh, come on, Arty. You can't put on suits all the time. You'd look like an idiot if you wore one to beach!" Holly groaned.
"As a matter of fact, Holly, you're correct. I don't my wear suits continuously. I generally do manage to change before I go to bed," Artemis smirked. "Nevertheless, I could never appear to look like an idiot. I'm Artemis Fowl, for heaven's sake! Not to mention that nobody would dare laugh at me with Butler behind my back."
Holly gave the ex-criminal a withering look. And there's that lovable Artemis Fowl II ego.
"Maybe I'll just go tell your mum," she said with an innocent face, which was slightly spoiled by the slight upturn of her lips. Holly knew this threat would work; there's nothing scarier than an angry mother. Especially to a criminal mastermind.
Artemis appeared stricken. "Very well. You win," he grumbled. He reached under his bed and pulled out a crumpled pair of gray Armani swim shorts and stuffed them into his bag.
Holly grinned. "Finally! It certainly took you long enough. I've been waiting since forever to see you in something else than those annoying suits. I'd imagine that you would look pretty good in those trunks." With that, the Captain winked at the confused mud man and bounded out of the room.
Artemis was left muttering something about 'crazy females' and 'blasted beach'.
A/N: Hello, there! This is my first work in Fanfiction...a review would be greatly appreciated. I hope to update this at least every five days, so any ideas for future chapters would be great too. Thanks for reading!
