"I'd die for you."
The words seemed random at first. Even meaningless. They were in the midst of taking down a far-flung world, one of the trickier places with strangely-powerful natives and very little natural darkness. Roxas hadn't appreciated the distraction. He remembered saying nothing -- maybe snorting briefly in derision -- and then leaping away from the redhead, one keyblade shimmering into either hand as he attacked the nearest of these so-called 'gods'. He didn't think Axel had really expected any other response.
But then the subject came up again, more than a week later. He was having dinner in the cafeteria, naturally alone, and suddenly Axel was sitting down across from him, that sly expression on his face. "I really would, you know," he said, as if picking up the conversation right where they'd left off. "But that's not saying much, is it, for a Nobody?"
"Of course it is," Roxas snapped, and was surprised at himself. The reaction had been automatic, so much so that he'd hardly thought the words before they came out of his mouth. He rolled his eyes, annoyed with the both of them, and shoved a bland forkful of something into his mouth. "Isn't there some kind of paperwork I'd have to fill out?"
Axel barked out a laugh, and leaned in on over his folded arms to smirk more widely. For a very strange few seconds, Roxas thought he was trying for a kiss. Then the redhead was on his feet again, looking down at him, and saying in a genial sort of voice, "Fine. Don't believe me. Doesn't make it any less true."
"You are a liar," Roxas agreed, meeting those unconcerned eyes. "But I never said I didn't believe you."
They stared at each other for a long moment, and Axel laughed again. "Ooh, cut me to the quick," he said, hands sliding easily into his pockets. "I'm heartbroken."
He wasn't, of course. And he never would be. Roxas gave him another snort and went back to his meal, ignoring Axel until, some minutes later, he looked up and the man was gone.
A month passed. On some worlds, where the seasons changed, it was winter now. He had taken to sleeping in Axel's room, because everything was warmer in there -- soft, and heavy, and really sort of claustrophobic if you weren't used to it, but bit by bit the pillows and hangings and candles everywhere had grown on him. Obnoxious but familiar, like Axel himself.
He was barely awake when the stupid man started up again. "There are worse things than dying, you know. Lots of 'em."
"Stop talking," Roxas told him fiercely, and dragged himself into a sitting position so that he could shove his 'friend' up against the headboard. He hated how amused Axel seemed, how pleased with himself and unaffected, even with an elbow so close to crushing his windpipe.
The redhead managed, "Wanted you to know," and his voice was a raw pretty husk that did pleasant things to Roxas's belly and just below it. Then he added, "Some things, I wouldn't do," which very nearly ruined it.
There was no food to eat, no enemies to fight. Nothing immediately distracting. Roxas opted to improvise, pressing his naked body close to Axel's and biting that shockingly-smooth bottom lip until the skin split and neither of them were even thinking about the number of things he wouldn't do anymore.
Axel didn't bring it up again after that; maybe he'd said his fill, or maybe he just knew he'd said enough so that eventually Roxas would grow uncomfortable with the silence and be forced to wonder, forced to broach the subject on his own.
Sneaky bastard.
But either way, Roxas held out as long as he could. Another month, two, even three. He bit his tongue, time and time again, to keep the question inside. But he couldn't pretend he wasn't... curious. It gnawed at him quietly, so that every look Axel gave him seemed smug, secretive. Eventually, he had to ask, had to make it stop -- had to knock Axel out of the air during their next match and shove him to the ground hard enough to make the air come out of him in a low, startled bark laughter. He must have been in some pain, but the redhead still managed to raise his eyebrows and wet his lips suggestively.
"Nice position."
Somehow, it was the casual purr in those words that really made him snarl, "Shut up. How can you just say it like that?"
Axel widened his eyes and said plaintively, "But Roxas, how can I shut up and answer questi--"
He improvised again, kissing those lips and past them until he would have sworn he could almost taste that deception. It was hot, wet, and filled to brimming with at least one emotion that he didn't really feel. Roxas withdrew, licking the rim of the other man's mouth, and told him coldly, "All we are is alive. Are you really so pathetic that you'd give it up just like that?" Months had passed, and he still didn't have words for what that thought did to him. He only knew that he didn't like it -- that it was irritating, maddening, and not really that different from anything the redhead did, only... only this time worse somehow.
Silence had fallen. Axel was staring up at him, blank, expressionless except for the faint curve of his lips. "You know, Roxas," he began finally, "there are better ways to take a compliment."
They had sex right there, keyblade and chakrams discarded, because if they hadn't Roxas might have killed him then and saved them both the trouble. But if he'd been someone else -- someone whole, like Xemnas kept saying he would make them all when this was over -- the funny tightness in his chest at that moment might have given him a second's pause and made him wonder what the hell that last part was supposed to mean.
