Note: This takes place between Leif's 21st birthday and the events in True Blue Lokison.
Fiction and Lies
~Of Which the Avengers Discover Fanfiction~
As Leif stared at the screen of his desktop, the Cheshire cat grin on his face grew wider with each passing second. This is too good. Entirely fascinated by the contents on his computer screen, the usually sharp young man did not even notice Loki's presence when the god strode into the room.
"Leif, I require your assistance again. The watch you gave me has run out of power once more, and I-" Loki drawled but then stopped in surprise when his son gave a sudden jolt of shock and hurriedly turned off his monitor before spinning around to face him. The god's gaze flicked from Leif's sheepish expression to the now blackened screen and his eyes narrowed with suspicion.
"Do you mind knocking next time?" Leif complained but Loki ignored him.
"What was that?" The god demanded and the slightest of movement when Leif shifted his weight uncomfortably was not missed by the trickster's acute sense of sight.
"What was what?" Leif asked and attempted to look innocent. Loki was not fooled.
"What was the content on the screen that you turned off the very moment I entered the room?" Loki snapped cynically. He noted the look of panic in his son's eyes and decided that yes, Leif was definitely hiding something. A portion of Loki seethed within him. No one, and he means no one, not even his own son, can hide secrets from Loki!
"Nothinggg~" Leif replied with a sappy smile and his father almost hissed with impatience when something snapped. This scene seems awfully familiar. It was similar to some stupid parenting documentary he had watched months ago about how parents should be tolerant and patient in the upbringing of growing teens who were experiencing their puberty period.
"You were watching videos of people copulating?" Loki's brows rose questioningly and Leif's jaws dropped. A moment of silence passed as Leif simply stared at his father, utterly flabbergasted by the whole confrontation when Loki started moving forward towards the computer with curiosity.
"NO!" Leif leapt up from his chair and blocked the view of his computer screen from the god, preventing him from turning it on again. "It was nothing like that!" The young man then proceeded to shove Loki out from his room quickly. "Didn't you kick up a big fuss yesterday because we were out of popcorn? Well, I bought a new batch of it earlier; it's in the kitchen cabinet. And your watch's batteries just died, I will get some new ones for you tomor-" Loki silenced his son mid-sentence with a menacing raise of his finger.
"Do not attempt to distract me."
The god then pushed Leif aside roughly and proceeded to head towards the computer once more. Stunned by Loki's persistence, Leif gaped for a second before realising that all hell would break loose if he did not act fast. The young man rushed forwards and pulled his father back forcefully, determined to stop him from laying eyes on whatever had been on the screen before and Loki growled with annoyance at his son's consistent interference. After a long eight minutes of struggling, hissing, spitting and clawing, Loki finally won the fight. Restraining a yelling Leif in a strong arm lock, the god switched on the computer monitor with a flick of his finger and his eyes widened with surprise at what he saw. Not explicit pictures of naked couples but simply, a page full of words.
"Don't! Don't read it!" Leif blurted out in despair. And of course, after hearing that, Loki had to read it now.
Ignoring his son's continual protests, Loki skimmed through the text quickly, and a frown of puzzlement grew on his face.
How?
Apparently Leif had been reading a story, and not just any story. It was a story of Loki himself, and Thor was included. However, before the god could even wonder about how the Midgardians knew enough of him and Thor to publish tales about them, he was taken aback by a blow of sheer horror when he reached the fifth sentence of the third paragraph in the passage. Leif felt his father's grip on him loosen and managed to release himself before turning back to witness the traumatised look on Loki's face.
"Told you so." Leif muttered. The next thing he knew, he was flying out of the room with an enormous blast.
XXX
"How dare those deluded, idiotic imbeciles taint my honour like this! I would never, and I repeat NEVER, lay with that dimwit Thor!" Loki shrieked and waved his hands about violently as he paced along the living room in a fit of rage. Leif sat on the sofa, nursing his bruised cheek and aching back, giving Loki a resentful glare while he did so. It wasn't his fault! After all, he had warned Loki not to look, didn't he? Father was being a tad unfair about this.
"YOU!" Loki screeched, pointing his long bony finger at Leif and the young man hurriedly scooted over to the other side of the sofa, as far away from the furious god as possible. "Why were you reading something like that? Where did you get that from? Who did you get that from? Do you know who wrote that? WHO WROTE THAT?" Loki's voice escalated dangerously high during this volley of questions and Leif winced.
This is bad.
As Loki continued fixing him with a murderous glare, Leif gulped and wracked his brains for some sort of explanation to give his father but found none. His silver tongue failed him during this most dire of circumstances and the young man opened his mouth a few times only to close it foolishly again. Soon, Loki grew impatient with his son's lack of response and stepped menacingly towards him, reducing him into a state of panic. The god was positively terrifying when he was angry and Leif did not fancy flying out of the window that afternoon.
"It's fanfiction!" The young man sputtered out and Loki stopped, his rage momentarily replaced by surprise. Fanfiction? "It's what people write about the idols they adore! You have admirers!" Leif said quickly, taking advantage of his father's slight pause and flashed him a nervous grin.
"Fanfiction? Admirers?" Loki repeated incredulously. Then the god's face twisted into a hideous snarl and he took another step towards Leif, who let out a tiny yelp and shot up from his seat. "So these mortals adore me by befouling my name with tales of how I copulate with that Thor?" Before Leif could answer, or calm his father down, the front door swung open and who would enter but an extremely oblivious Thor, who, as always, decided to make himself present in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"Greetings Brother and Nephew!" The Thunder God boomed cheerily but was replied by a loud blast which threw him out of the apartment. As the door slammed shut magically by itself, Leif turned to gape at Loki, who simply glared sourly at the wooden door that separated them from a probably stunned Thor.
"What?" The god snapped spitefully after seeing the shocked look on Leif's face. "I am in no mood to see him today!"
XXX
After Thor was finally let into the apartment, with an extremely hurt and bewildered expression resembling that of a kicked puppy, Leif was able to get both his uncle and father to sit down calmly while he explained to Thor the reason for Loki's sudden mean treatment of him. Of course, it was not that Loki had never been mean to Thor, it was just that this time he had been exceptionally mean.
When Leif finished his explanation, Thor's fury was no less than Loki's.
"HOW DARE THEY?" The Thunder God bellowed and his eyes flashed furiously at the thought of how his and his brother's honour had been tarnished. Loki gave a nod of approval at Thor's anger.
"And these are the mortals you swore to protect?" Loki taunted bitterly. Seeing how Thor's head drooped as his uncle mumbled something about these being two different matters entirely, Leif decided that he had better step in before his father managed to manipulate Thor into turning against the Earth or something similar to that. No doubt Fury would blame it all on him.
"It's just fiction!" Leif said hurriedly. "It's just the work of fans, who admire you and wish to write stories about you! These stories are nothing more than works of their imagination! They are harmless, honest!" The young man assured, but both Loki and Thor did not seem too convinced.
"I don't see how telling degrading tales of my supposed incestuous relationship with Thor can be harmless." Loki snarled and Thor, who normally defended his nephew whenever Loki threw a fit, said nothing.
"It isn't that much of a big deal!" Leif argued desperately. "There are a whole lot of stories on that site and it's not like they-" Uh oh… wrong thing to say. Loki's eyes widened frighteningly and Thor's complexion turned into a shade of green.
"There are more of these stories?" Loki whispered in disbelief. Leif bit his lip in despair, wondering how to mend this damage he had caused without letting Fury know of this. Who knew that reading some funnies on the internet could lead to so much trouble? He was sure that his boss would not be pleased when he knew that Leif had managed to get Loki into one of his crazy, vengeful moods once more.
And then of course, Thor had to ruin everything.
"I propose we take this matter to Director Fury."
Oh god no!
"This is an extremely serious matter, and being the leader of S.H.I.E.L.D, I am sure the good man would be able to put a stop to these vicious rumours that have been passed around about us." Thor said seriously, and Loki's brows furrowed as he pondered his brother's suggestion for a moment. Normally the god would never run off to Fury and plead the mortal for help, but this is a different case. It's urgent.
Leif rubbed his face nervously in anguish, rueing the moment he made the choice to click on that dratted website. Praying to whatever god who could save him now, the young man fervently hoped that Loki would refuse Thor's suggestion.
"I agree." Loki said finally and Leif groaned. He is doomed!
"Stop acting like a wounded bilgesnipe, Leif!" The god hissed impatiently as he dragged his son up by the arm. "Come! Make haste! We must pay Fury a visit immediately!"
XXX
Fury was not impressed when Loki, Leif and Thor teleported into the conference room while he was in the middle of a meeting with the Avengers, with the exception of Thor who had not been on Earth when the meeting had been held. It was not amusing to brief his team on their upcoming defences against a certain super villain's Doombots only to have another super villain materialising behind him in the middle of his speech.
"WHOA!" Tony shouted in shock while Clint and Natasha leapt up immediately, driven by assassin instincts as they reached for their bow and daggers respectively. Steve straightened immediately from his initial relaxed posture while Bruce simply looked bemused. Fury held his hand up authoritatively as a sign that no one was to move, shoot or kill yet before turning his glare onto a fidgety Leif and grim Thor.
"Why did you bring him here?" The director growled at Leif. Before the young man could answer, Loki spoke up.
"Leif was not the one who brought me here Fury, on the contrary, I was the one who dragged him to this wretched place."
Fury ignored Loki completely. "And you," he turned to Thor, "Weren't you supposed to be in Asgard?"
"I came for a visit to Midgard, Director." Thor said gravely. "And when I arrived Loki and Leif had presented me with a terrible piece of news, which we had found extremely troubling. Therefore we have come at once to seek for your help." All ears in the room perked up at Thor's words. What problem could be so troubling, that even two gods and Leif could not handle?
"Well, don't keep us in suspense Pointbreak, what's the news?" Tony chirped up. To everyone's surprise, the usually impulsive and bold God of Thunder seemed speechless for a moment and his face turned a bright shade of red.
"Errr… you see, there was… umm…" Thor faltered and gazed down at the floor in embarrassment. Fury and the Avengers stared at the god with a mixture of incredulity and curiosity until Loki could stand it no longer and gave a frustrated hiss.
"Oh step aside you big oaf!" Loki snapped at Thor, who looked abashed and made way for his brother. "I will tell them what happened!" The God of Mischief turned to glare at Fury, who glared back at him with suspicion. "There was this… this fanfiction," Loki growled, stumbling over the right words to use. "It was utterly degrading, and told vicious untruths about both me and Thor. Leif has told us that there is a whole website containing these dishonest tales about us and I demand that you take it down immediately!" There was a deafening silence in the room as Loki's words sank in.
"So… this is about stories on a website?" Bruce asked finally. Fury was staring at Loki as though the god had reached a whole new level of insane and Tony was grinning from ear to ear.
"It is not just about mere stories, Banner!" Loki spat angrily, indignant that they did not take his words seriously. Can't they see the urgency of this matter? "Those stories were humiliating! They told lies of how my br- Of how Thor and I were… coupling." Loki flushed at the last word and everyone in the room was stunned once more. Then, as they all realised what that meant, all of the Avengers had different reactions.
Clint, for one, looked utterly disgusted. Bruce had this sympathetic look on his face while Steve blushed along with Thor and Loki. Natasha's brows were raised as she stared at her past nemesis. Fury's eye bulged, as it always did when the director was surprised, shocked or angry. However, Tony, on the other hand, seemed as though Christmas had come early.
"They wrote stories about you and Thor having sex?" The billionaire asked gleefully, grinning at the scowl on Loki's face. "Oh man! Someone needs to give that writer a medal! He wrote about Loki and Thor having sex!" Tony laughed while Steve stared at him reproachfully. Just as the Captain was about to chide him for his lack of tact, a deafening crash sounded.
"YOU THINK THAT IS FUNNY?" Thor bellowed furiously, lifting the Mjolnir from the dent it had left on the conference table. It took moments for Fury and Steve to stop Thor from beating Tony into a pulp and after that, Fury turned to Loki, who seemed to have enjoyed the spectacle.
"So this is what it's all about? Fanfiction?" Fury asked and Loki frowned at his lack of seriousness regarding the matter.
"Yes," The god replied. Fury shook his head wearily.
"We have more important matters than paying attention to a few stories," The direction said firmly and Loki shot him a look of disbelief and anger.
"This is an important matter!" The god shrieked. "Why, in Asgard the perpetrators would have been severely punished for slander. I demand that you, as Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, track down these culprits immediately and put them to justice!" Fury bristled at the thought of Loki giving him orders and was about to shout back when Stark interrupted him.
"Yea, but you forgot one important thing Frosty," Stark grinned annoyingly. "We are not on Asgard."
XXX
At last, in order to put a stop to Loki's hissy fit and Thor's rage, Fury and the Avengers decided to take a look at this fanfiction website and see for themselves exactly how degrading these 'tales spun of lies' were. As Leif sat in front of the laptop and typed in the web address, the Avengers crowded around him curiously, eager to see what the fuss was all about.
Steve didn't like it. Bruce didn't either. Clint didn't make it past the second paragraph. Natasha frowned. Fury grimaced. Tony loved it.
"I don't see anything wrong with that. Lovely piece of writing. Engaging storyline. I especially loved the part where you moaned with passion." Tony smirked at Loki, who had a vein throbbing in his temple. "I give this author an A plus!" The irritating billionaire declared, and Thor seemed about to punch him again.
"Stop that, Tony!" Steve chided, although the Captain hurriedly stepped in between him and Thor when he saw the rage on the god's face. After all, a good leader would never allow any of his team members to get hurt.
"Hey, there are more of these stories!" Bruce exclaimed, having taken over from Leif and was now browsing through the site. "Looks like there are stories of all of us as well!" This caught the attention of the rest and they crowded around the laptop once more.
"Click on that one, that one that says 'The Amazing Iron Man'!"
"No one wants to read about you Tony! Hey, what's that one about? It seems to be about me and Clint!"
"Oh please Nat! Anyone with brains knows what a story with you and Hawkeye would be about! Hmm… there's one about me and Brucie! I wonder what that is about."
"It says Science Boyfriends. Erm… the meaning of the term 'boyfriends' hasn't changed since my time, has it?"
"Nope, it hasn't Gramps. Alright it's decided! Click the one with 'Science Boyfriends' Bruce, I want to read that one!"
"No! No one wants to read that Tony!"
"Oh stop being such a spoilsport! We could always read one about you and Nat later!"
"Click that one!"
"No! That one!"
In the end, Phil Coulson had to bring in laptops for each of the Avengers because apparently, the world's greatest superhero team did not understand the concept of sharing.
XXX
"Oooh, look at this one Cap!" Tony cooed and Steve once again, innocently read the part of the story Tony showed him before scrunching his face in disgust.
"Must you keep showing me stories like that?" The captain snapped irritably and Tony grinned wickedly.
"They are fascinating!" Tony insisted with a smirk. "And I realised that fans have a tendency to write you as the bottom. I wonder why?" Steve glared furiously at the billionaire's smug, shit-eating grin and turned back to his own laptop with a huff. For once, Loki was right. This is degrading!
XXX
"Look Brother! I found one that describes tales of our childhood together!" Thor exclaimed excitedly as he pushed his laptop to Loki, who was also gazing through some titles himself.
Both gods had been persuaded by Leif, and Tony, to read through some of the stories after being assured that not all of them were 'degrading'. Leif had specifically taught them to avoid all stories with both their names and 'Romance' in the genre and after that, both Loki and Thor had actually managed to find some pleasant stories among the lot. Loki specifically liked the tales of which he managed to defeat the Avengers and rule Midgard as king. Thor, however, insisted on pushing sappy brotherly stories to him and even though Loki found some of them excessively sickening, he had to admit that a few were actually, well, quite heart-warming.
"Isn't this story wonderful, Loki?" Thor asked hopefully as Loki read the one-shot of his and Thor's childhood.
"This event never happened," The god said finally, and Thor gave a laugh.
"Of course it didn't, Loki!" Thor said cheerfully. "Leif did say that this is fiction, stories born from the imaginations of the mortals. However, you must admit that this story is a good one!" Loki gave a tiny smile at Thor's sentence.
"Yes, and I especially like the part where I pushed you into the palace pond."
XXX
Bruce stared at the screen, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. A hand clapped on his shoulder and he looked up to see Tony grinning down at him.
"So, how did the big guy fare in these stories?" Tony asked teasingly. Bruce smiled, knowing that Tony probably knew the answer himself.
"Better than I expected," The scientist said, and one could sense the relief in his voice. "In fact, it's a lot better than I expected. I didn't know that the Other Guy would be so… so well loved." Tony smiled at Bruce's words. Yep, his friend needed the confidence boost.
"When you're good, people will know, Bruce." Tony said seriously for once. "They aren't blind, you know?" Bruce chuckled at his words.
"Yea, I guess so." The man paused for a moment. "However, I do find the sudden surge of lovers, wives and children that I have a little disconcerting." Bruce grinned with amusement and Tony laughed.
"Join the crowd pal!" The billionaire smirked. "Steve, Clint, Thor and I have hundreds of lovers, wives and illegitimate children now! Even Loki, that snotty prat, has an endless number of lovers and family members. People seem to like him, and I don't even know why!" Tony exclaimed and Bruce grinned when he saw that his friend seemed a little unhappy when he spoke of Loki.
"You seem… pissed," Bruce chuckled. "I thought you loved these fanfictions?" Tony gave a pout.
"If people want to write slash about Loki and me, they should stop writing me as the bottom!"
XXX
There was a loud, sizzling crash and everyone looked up to see Natasha visibly flustered and angry with a long dagger pierced through the screen of her laptop.
"What's the matter Nat? Can't stand the heat?" Tony mocked and a dagger which flew past his ear, slicing off a few strands of his hair, shut him up.
"This is all rubbish! Love is for children!" The assassin snapped furiously and everyone knew at once what had pushed the woman's hot buttons. "I forbid you from reading the trash stories of us, Barton!" Natasha ordered Clint sternly and Hawkeye raised both his hands warily.
"Wouldn't dream of it, Tasha." Clint replied and Natasha relaxed a little. However, after the Black Widow left to get a new laptop, Leif saw Clint open up a new tab sneakily.
XXX
At the end of the day, the Avengers had skimmed through a considerable portion of the fanfiction on the website and everyone, even Loki, had been pleased enough by some of the stories there to decide that there really was no need to take the site down 'by force'. They would let the fans have their fun. And everyone loved having stories written of them. Well, almost everyone.
"Did you realise," Tony Stark started, having found a reason to make fun of Leif and refusing to let go of it, "that all of us had hundreds of stories written about us, but Leif didn't even have a single one?" Leif scowled angrily at him, and Tony smirked like the annoying asshole he was. Bruce patted Leif on the back.
"Don't worry Leif, people will write about you, it just takes a little time." The scientist said kindly and Leif smiled back at him.
"Yea, don't worry kid, it's just that the female population didn't find you handsome or charismatic enough to declare you as their lover. Unlike me." Tony grinned and Leif turned to glare at him.
"Yes, but unlike you, I actually get real life action instead of fictional women." Leif retorted as Tony continued giving him that annoying grin.
"I found the number of fictional lovers and children I have rather disturbing though," Steve piped in as he gave a shudder. Tony rolled his eyes. Obviously Captain Chastity had to take things a little too seriously.
"Now that you mention it my friend, my brother seems to suffer the same plight as well. Fortunately, I do not face this problem, since many fans seem to like me and Jane." Thor grinned happily at the thought. Tony gave a scornful laugh.
"We'd better hope Psycho here doesn't have any more illegitimate children," Tony scoffed. "One is more than enough!" The billionaire threw a dirty look at Leif, who gave him a devilish smirk back.
"I am sure you would be disappointed to know that Leif is the last child I have had in years, Stark." Loki drawled. "No more babysitting." The god's eyes gleamed wickedly and Tony resisted the urge to shiver at the thought.
"Wait!" Leif seemed a little stunned at his father's declaration. "You have other children besides me?" The young man gazed at Loki in surprise, and the god simply laughed.
"Of course Leif, I have lived for thousands of years, you are not the only child I have, you know?" Loki said with a grin and Leif seemed awed by that fact.
"Wow! So I have siblings?" Leif seemed stunned for a moment before his face broke out in a grin. "That's cool! You should have told me about that earlier, Father. What would happen if I fell in love with a hot girl only to learn that she is my sister in the end? What would happen then, huh?" The young man asked cheekily. Tony gave a sceptical snort at Leif's words. Someone should stop the kid from watching so many soap operas. The smirk on Loki's face, however, grew even wider after hearing what his son said.
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that problem, Leif." The god grinned wickedly. "I am sure that your siblings are not… your type."
And the only person who got the joke in that room was Thor.
Anddd... I am sure many of you are thinking: oh god she has two unfinished stories and she is starting a third one!
Nope, don't worry, thats not the case. This is a one-shot, and the story ends here. The reason why I left this as uncompleted is because I plan for it to be a series of one-shots for all the ideas that I have for Leif and Loki which I will not include in the sequel. Yep. Remember when I said I took all of you ideas into consideration... yea, this is where I would be posting most of them up, in between the chapters of my sequel and prequel if I feel like writing a short story. It may take some time to update this one, so do feel free to alert it since even I don't know when I will write another.
Oh and if you have any ideas, do leave it in a review! :D The ideas can be anything... from how Leif pranks Tony to Leif-Loki relationship or even Natasha/Clint hint hints. Lol.
About this story, it's just a sudden inspiration I had. And I have nothing against slash. I love a good slash. And FrostIron is my favourite, enough said. Oh and Leif is an illegitimate child too, the irony! LOL.
