Emergency services chapter 1; 911
What if the ninja world had a 911 emergency service?
"Hello ANBU emergency service, what is you're emergency?"
"HI my village is under attack by Zubuza Momochi, and um, well he is killing most of us and-"
"Please hold."
"Hello ANBU emergency service, what is you're emergency?"
"I'm at the Konoha primary, and my teacher has been knocked out by a poison jutsu. Orochimaru has undressed, and is trying to take all the boys into the bathroom, please send help."
"Your call, it has been recorded and will be used to show how great our emergency service is, thank you please hang up now goodbye."
"Hello ANBU emergency service, what is you're emergency?"
"Hi mom Ino has climbed up a building and is going to jump, because Sasuke has left town."
"Ok Shika, please tell her that it is going to be ok, and then try to get her down safely."
"How troublesome, can't she just jump?"
"No try and save her."
"I would but the clouds look so pretty."
"DO IT NOW, STOP BEING SO LAZY!"
" Yes mom, women are so bossy and troublesome."
"Hello ANBU emergency service, what is you're emergency?"
"I can't find my special emergency ramen."
"Look Naruto you do this every day, it's under your bed like always, goodbye."
"Hello ANBU emergency service, what is you're emergency?"
"It's not there, what do I do?"
" Is there an empty ramen cup in you're bin?"
"Yes."
"Then you ate it, so stop calling!"
"Hello ANBU emergency service, what is you're emergency?"
"Jiraiya is peeping in the girls bathrooms again."
"Ok we have a special branch to handle him, Tsunade, yes at the normal place, ok Tenten some one will be there soon, goodbye."
"Hello ANBU emergency service, what is you're emergency?"
"Hi, a giant sand raccoon is destroying my village what must I do?"
"Well sir firstly I would stop smoking, then I would go to rehab and hospital then fix my life."
"No this is real, please help, NO, NO, NOOOOOO my legs it crushed my legs."
"Goodbye sir."
"Hello ANBU emergency service, what is you're emergency?"
"Hi my brother killed my whole clan and ran off saying something about me being weak, what must I do?"
"First become EMO, then dedicate you'r life to killing him, then realize that you are not strong enough amd go live with a gay pedophile."
"How do I become emo?"
"Well first act like you are better than everyone else, then reject all emotion except hate and if you get any fangirls make them depressed when you leave."
"Ok so I must be like a super-mega-uber-jerk to all, and what must I wear?"
"Small pants, blue shirt with a huge neckband that covers your neck."
"Ok I think I'm ready to ruin my life thanks."
"Ok and don't forget you need a gay pedophile, bye." (Orochimaru gives a strange gay pedophile like laugh.)
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P.S.S if you do see the messages please follow the instructions then go to a mental institution and get help
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