Hayffie Alert! If you don't like the ship, don't read! If you do, enjoy! :)
A loud crack followed by a big crash came from the dining room. Katniss frowned at the noise and went to the scene. She rolled her eyes and returned to her room.
Haymitch.
Haymitch was sprawled haphazardly on the floor with a surviving cup of whiskey in his hand. He grunted and grumbled as he struggled to stand without spilling his drink. Just as he was about to put his weight on the already knocked over table, a shrill screech filled his ears.
"Oh my!" Effie's high-pitched voice screeched. "Are you alright?! I heard this crash and I was so worried what had happened!"
"Well, now that you mention it," Haymitch grunted. "I'm-"
"Oh, you were very beautiful. Absolutely beautiful," Effie sniffled, passing Haymitch quickly and kneeling beside the fallen table. "Such lovely mahogany. Oh..." She let out a half-sob and dabbed dramatically at her eyes. "We'll have a nice burial in your honor."
"Burial?" Haymitch grumbled. "Effie, it's just a table-"
"It's mahogany!" she retorted angrily. "How dare you! This was murder, Haymitch!"
He frowned deeply.
"What were you even thinking?! What were you even doing?!" she demanded harshly. Then in a much, much softer voice, she said to the table, "I'm so sorry. You were too young." She turned around and glared coldly at Haymitch.
The man took a drink from his cup. "Effie-"
"If you hadn't been so drunk all the time, this wouldn't have happened!" she cried.
"I didn't break the table, Effie," Haymitch argued. "It just fell over when I tried to get up."
Effie narrowed her eyes. "Really?" she said sarcastically. "Then how does this beautiful, beautiful mahogany table have a huge crack in it?!"
"What crack?" Haymitch, still sitting on the ground, leaned on the table to have a look at this supposed crack.
"Stop!" Effie commanded. "You'll bre-"
Crack!
"Haymitch-"
"In my defense, this table hated me."
"Everybody hates you!" Effie sobbed, purposely knocking the cup out of Haymitch's hand, whiskey landing everywhere. "You mahogany murderer!"
"Effie-" Haymitch tried.
"No!" she cried. "Don't even talk to me!" If possible, she cried even harder and left the room rather quickly.
Haymitch gave a long sigh and looked at the wet patches of whiskey on the carpet, his shirt, and the broken table. He stood, grumbling something about there being tons of mahogany in the world and being pointless in mourning one table. He left the room without getting another cup of whiskey and found himself in front of Effie's door. He knocked.
"Go away!" Effie wailed.
"Eff," Haymitch began gently. "Please."
Heels could be heard approaching the door and soon, Effie swung the door open. "Have you come to apologize for breaking my heart?" she asked quietly.
Haymitch internally shook his head at this woman's mahogany obsession. "Effie-"
"Have you?" she demanded in a sniffle.
The man sighed. "Fine, I'm sorry Effie for breaking your precious mahogany table," he said in monotone earning him a scowl. He chuckled and set his hands on Effie's waist. "Effie, I didn't mean to break your table, and I'm sorry I did," he tried again gently and seriously. "But I would never break your heart."
She sniffled. "Ever?"
"Ever," Haymitch repeated with a smile. "Now, how about a kiss-"
Effie put her index finger on his lips. "No, you broke a mahogany table. I am very upset with you about that."
Haymitch gave an indignant look. "I just apologized-"
"It's mahogany!"
