[[the italic is past moments. And it kind of flashes back and forth from past moments to present moments. ]]

"Lily, will you spend the rest of my life with me?" Bart Bass asked Lily as he sat on one knee holding this huge rock out in front of her.

"So, I miss you. And i've been missing you for awhile." Rufus said as he waited outside Lily's hotel, without a coat as it snowed.

Lily looked from Bart to her phone where it said one new message. She looked up at her kids; she knew they didn't like Bart. She could tell they wanted her to say no, but what did she want? She had wanted him, to propose and everything, but now she wasn't sure.

"Um, Bart." She began, she needed to think, to hear the message before she decided. "Excuse me," She said, she secretly grabbed her phone and went into the bathroom. She flipped open her phone and listened to the message.

It was 2 am on a Friday night or Saturday morning. Lily couldn't sleep so she went into her twin sister's room.

Lily climbed into her sisters bed, putting an arm behind her head to keep her up right and the other arm at her side.

"Lil, what do you want?" her sister, Jessica asked opening her eyes.

"I don't love him. I tried, I just don't feel anything for any guy." Lily said. This fact was bugging her, every guy she dated she felt nothing it was like she was a brick wall.

Jessica pushed a strand of Lily's hair behind Lily's ear. "Maybe you're a lesbian?"

Lily laughed, "No I'm not."

"Tell you what, you break up with him and I'll take you to the concert I'm going to tomorrow night."

Lily smiled, "Deal."

- - -

She shut her phone and sighed. When she was younger she would've thought two guys fighting over her would be cool, but it wasn't. It was killing her having to choose between two guys.

"You broke up with him right?" Jessica asked her twin.

"Yup."

"Well I'll go get us some drinks." Jessica said she went over to the bar.

Lily pulled at her black cocktail dress. She looked at her sister in the halter-top and miniskirt with black to the knee-high heel boots. She could never pull off that outfit she thought.

"Whose your favorite band?" A cute shaggy haired guy said. He was wearing jeans and a white tee-shirt with a leather jacket over it.

"These guys, of course." She lied. She knew nothing about these guys not even their band name.

"So you've attended every one of their concerts?" he asked.

"Of course."

He laughed, "I'm Rufus."

"Lily."

"I'm the lead guitarist and singer. Its our first gig." he said.

She laughed.

Rufus and her started dating and he was the first guy Lily didn't get bored of. He stuck around and she let him. And when the worst thing happened to her, he was the first one she called.

"Rufus, can you come pick me up?" she asked into the phone, at four a.m.

"What's wrong?" he could tell she had just been crying.

"Its Jessie, she's... she's... dead."

"Where are you?"

She told him the hospital and he drove straight there. He then drove her to his house, and he held her all night as she cried.
- - -

She put some water on her face as she made up her mind. She left the bathroom and walked over to Bart.

"Bart." She began, "I am so sorry."

"You can't." he said, knowing the answer. "Its that guy, right?" he asked.

She nodded.

He grabbed his coat, leaving the hotel room slamming the door behind him.

Lily looked at her kids who tried to cover up their smiles. She shook her head in disapproval but smiled, "Guys I have to go do something. I'll try to hurry but when I get back we can finish opening presents."

Lily grabbed her purse and coat. She walked to the door and heard Serena say, "Tell Rufus hi for me." Lily laughed, and walked out the door.

As Bart exited the building he saw the guy. He went over to him, "Hey."

Rufus turned around, "Hi?"

"Lily asked me to tell you to please leave her alone. She doesn't want to talk to you and that it was a mistake to dig up past memories." Bart lied.

"Oh," Rufus said, hurt.

"Merry Christmas." Bart said with a smile, as he walked away.

Rufus was wounded, hurt, how could Lily say those things? And not even tell them to his face but send a messenger? He began to walk to the gate when he heard his name shouted.

Lily came running towards him. She reached him and took a breath. He turned to go, "Its okay, Bart told me," he said.

"Told you what?" She asked confused.

Rufus shook it off, she must know but she just doesn't want to repeat it. "Nothing. Good bye Lily." he said, he started to walk away but Lily grabbed his arm.

"Lily, let me go." he said impatiently.

Lily shook her head, she was confused, but she placed her hand on the side of his face. She tried to think of things that could have happened and then it dawned on her what Bart did. She leaned in and softly kissed him. She then leaned back, "I don't know what he told you. But I missed you too." She said referring to his message.

He let out a small laugh and smiled. How could he have believed Bart over Lily, he had no idea but he made sure not to make that mistake again. He leaned in and kissed Lily, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him closer.

A few minutes later, the two broke apart for air. "Can we go for a walk?" Lily asked.

"Anything you want." He said. He put his arm around her waist and she leaned into him as they started to walk. As they walked down the street, everything melted away until it was just Rufus Humphrey and Lily Van Der Woodsen walking down the street as snow fell.