Two hedgehogs stood atop a grassy hill, overlooking a large city. Shadow was silent as usual as he stood by the big tree. But there was a different air about him. Sonic raised an eye ridge as he observed the fellow hedgehog. Shadow glanced at him, then continued looking out into the distance.
"You did it, didn't you?" Sonic asked. Shadow glared at the hedgehog, then smirked and rolled his eyes in the other direction. "Aww man," Sonic said in disgust. "I don't get you at all."
"Wait a few years and you might get it," Shadow said. "Or never, since you're more interested in going fast."
"It's way more of a rush than… that… could ever be," Sonic said as he narrowed his eyes at Shadow.
"You'll see one day," Shadow said smugly. Then he looked to the side to see that the sun was setting, hiding itself behind the tall skyscrapers not so far away. He walked the direction of his gaze, towards the city.
"Where are you going?" Sonic asked.
"It's getting late," Shadow stopped and said. "The clubs will be opening soon."
"Where you find your prey," Sonic said in disgust. "Don't get too drunk now."
"Oh, I don't get drunk," Shadow turned his head and said seriously, then he smirked sinisterly. "That would be idiotic. People take advantage."
"And you of all all people would know," Sonic said dryly as he folded his arms. "Dude, you'd better use protection."
Shadow rubbed the back of his neck and looked to the ground nervously.
"Yeah, sure…"
"Shadow!" Sonic exclaimed. "You'll- you're… they…" The hedgehog took in a deep breath. "Are you trying to be be the dad to a million babies."
"Nonsense," Shadow said, then turned to face Sonic in confidence. "I'm infertile." Sonic sighed in relief. "The Professor said that I can't have children."
"I really hope you're sure, Shadow," Sonic said. "Well, have fun." He shot off in the opposite direction.
…
"So, how many?" Sonic asked, deadpanning at Shadow when he met in their usual spot. The black hedgehog smirked, lifting his head slightly with pride.
"Three," Shadow said.
"How do you get around so fast?" Sonic asked. "How many of them are hedgehogs?"
Shadow narrowed his eyes at Sonic in suspicion.
"You don't believe me when I say I'm infertile. Do you?" Shadow asked. Sonic nodded his head in honesty.
"1 of them was a hedgehog," Shadow said, getting worked up with the blue hedgehog. "Like many others before her. And they're all fine. No one's pregnant."
"You sure?" Sonic asked. "You sure they're not pregnant and they just can't find you. Or perhaps they don't want to find you because you lied to them by telling them you're-"
"It's not a lie!" Shadow yelled. "Seriously, hedgehog. You're beginning to get on my nerves."
"Only beginning? You've improved," Sonic said.
"I've gained an increased tolerance to you," Shadow said and turned his nose up. "It's needed to get through these daily meetings of ours."
"And yet you still deny being friends," Sonic smirked.
"We can never be friends, Faker. Just… acquaintances," Shadow said, then lowered his eyelids at Sonic playfully. Sonic rolled his eyes and looked out into the distance.
"It's getting late already," he said, noticing the sun was setting. "Shouldn't you be on your way."
"No one goes out on a Sunday," Shadow said. "Not in this area anyway."
"It's Sunday?" Sonic asked. "Wow. I lost track of the days."
"What day did you think it was?" Shadow asked.
"I dunno. Just not Sunday," Sonic chuckled, then smirked at Shadow. The smugness just kept bouncing back and forth between the two of them. "I bet ya' fifty rings that you got at least one of those girls pregnant."
"Make it a hundred," Shadow said with confidence. "No, two hundred. Three. I'm willing to bet my life on this."
"Alright, Shadow. Let's not go too far with this," Sonic said. "I'd love to be an asshole and agree to your three hundred but… it would be cruel to take that much money from you."
"Or, you can't afford to give that much up," Shadow joked. The dark hedgehog narrowed his eyes. "So, how long is it until I get my money."
Sonic put a finger on his chin in thought, and looked up as if this was a very pressing question. Shadow tapped his foot impatiently.
"Let's say a year. If no one comes forward to you, holding a little Shadow Juniour in their arms, demanding you pay up childcare costs or whatever it is these people have to deal with… then I'd say you're in the clear."
"And, what if they were to show up after more than a year," Shadow said.
"Then it sucks to be me," Sonic chuckled.
"What if they showed up one day after the cut off date?" Shadow asked.
"Then it really sucks to be me," Sonic said with a bigger chuckle. Shadow nodded.
"Alright. So, on this exact day a year from now, you have to give me fifty rings," Shadow said.
"And you have to give me fifty before then, because I'm pretty sure this will blow up in your face," Sonic said, puffing his chest out confidently. The two of them couldn't stop teasing the other with their smug grins. "Oh, and the more you go out there to score… the more you run the risk of losing."
"There is no risk. I'm infertile," Shadow reminded.
"Whatever you say, Shadow," Sonic said.
1 Year Later
"So, here it is, buddy. One year later…" Sonic said solemnly as he stood by the tree. "I've been waiting for this day… heh. Perhaps you'll show up again just to get your money." He sighed sadly and looked down at swaying grass below him. "Even though you lost... but I don't think you know that."
The blue hedgehog leaned against the tree as he looked out into the city. The sun was setting. The hedgehog shivered, but not due to cold.
"Wish you were here with me… like old times," the hedgehog mumbled. "They all kind of need you right now. Like I do."
