Loss & Lavender
Running through the woods was something the boys had been doing for a while. But it seemed as though the boys had been doing more of it lately. Stiles liked being away from everyone, away from the sad looks everyone gave him after his mom died. And Scott just liked the woods, he felt safe there as if it was some kind of second home. He couldn't explain it. So it was nothing abnormal for them to be wandering around there talking after school one day. But was abnormal, was coming upon a burnt house.
As soon as he'd seen it Stiles knew what it was. It was the old Hale house; the place where a whole family burned, leaving only three to survive on their own (one of which was practically a vegetable in the hospital). It resembled so much pain. Stiles saddened looking at it. He knew that kind of loss. It wasn't something that healed.
"Hey, cool, it looks abandoned, do you want to go look in it?" Scott, of course, didn't know the house and had forgotten about the fire that had happened a few years ago. But it didn't have as big an impact on him as it had on Stiles. After all, Stiles had seen the poor kids get the new their family was gone…
…
Stiles stomped his foot, never the patient one. "Dad said he'd be done already!" He whined to his mom as they sat in his dad's office waiting so they could have a family dinner.
Claudia smiled sweetly at her little boy, feeling more tired these days. "Calm down Stiles, your dad will be here soon. He's helping people, remember? How selfish would it be of us to keep him all to ourselves? We have to share him so he can save lives, remember?" She ran her fingers through her son's hair, hoping to calm him. They probably needed to find a new dose for his ADHD medication.
"I know, I know. I'm just so hungry! Dad promise curly fries and…" He was cut off by the door bursting open. "Dad!" He was about to jump and run to his father when he noticed the black ash on his dad's uniform and the two teenagers following behind him, looking so lost and confused. "Dad?"
The sheriff and other officers had ash on them, looking serious and…sad. So sad. "Laura and Derek right?" The sheriff wasn't using his professional voice like he usually did when he was working as he sat the two kids down in his office.
The two kids nodded. "What is this about? Did something happen? Where's my mom?" The boy, his hair a dark black and his eyes a mysterious green, seemed too impatient to sit.
"That's what I brought you here to talk about." The sheriff sighed. "Hey sweetie." He smiled at his wife. "Can you go on ahead and take Stiles home…"
Stiles heart immediately started to race. "NO! You said…" He tried to cling to his dad.
"Stiles." The sheriff used his strict tone as he lowered himself to his son's level. "Remember what I told you about having to act older now? Sometimes you're going to have to get used to me helping other people instead of you." He hated talking to his son like this. "These kids need me right now, okay? So you're going to go home and…"
"No." Stiles let go of his dad but planted his feet where he stood. "I'm going to wait." He turned to the two confused and worried teens. "And help." He sat down next to the girl, who also had dark hair and interesting eyes who smiled at him sweetly. "You help, I want to help."
The sheriff smiled at the kid. He wanted to argue, this was too much for a kid to help with, but there was no arguing with Stiles. "Okay. I'm sorry Laura, Derek, he means well I promise." He smiled and sat across from the kids, putting a hand on each of their knees. "I'm so sorry to have to be the one to tell you two but there's been a fire. Your house…"
"There was a fire at our house?" Derek twitched as if he was about to jump up. "Is everyone okay? What damage was done? Why are we here? Shouldn't you have taken us to our parents? Are they at the hospital? I don't understand." He was speaking through gritted teeth.
Stilinski took a calming breath and shook his head. "I'm afraid there was only one survivor and he's not in good condition, your Uncle Peter was the only person who survived. Everyone else…"
"Died." Derek jumped from his seat as Laura let out a terrible sob that sounded more like a pain filled howl from a dog or wolf and fell into the sheriff's arms letting him try to comfort her.
Stiles jumped, wanting to run after the boy but his mother stopped him. "Stay here Stiles. I'll go talk to him." She smiled and followed after the boy, stopping him just outside the main doors. She talked to him for a short while before he seemed to crumble there on the asphalt, Claudia doing her best to hold him up but he weighed a lot for such a young man.
And Stiles stood there watching everything slip away from these two kids, not too much older than him. He listened to the other officers talk about the details of the fire. He took a deep breath, smelling he fire and ashes tracked in by the officers at the scene. He just stood here forgotten, taking everything in like he always did. Then he looked at both of his parents, comforting the bereaved, and prayed he would never lose them like that because he didn't think he could take it…
…
"Stiles, dude, Earth to Stiles!" Scott snapped his fingers in front of his friend. "Hey, you okay?" He looked a little worried at his friend. "Do you want to check out the house or what?"
Stiles shook his head, finally coming back from his memory fully. "Uh, no, dude, people died in there. Let's just keep walking." He wanted to get far away from that house. He could still remember the smell of his dad's uniform after the fire…it was awful.
It seemed like such a minor incident, Stiles didn't even think to bring it up to his dad when he got home that night. He thought he'd forgotten about it until he woke up screaming, feeling completely terrified. It took his dad almost an hour to calm him down. "Dad?" He looked at his dad with a tear stained face, finally noting that he must have been sleepwalking because he was no longer in his room.
"Yeah, I'm here son, I've got you. Don't worry. It's going to be okay. It was just a dream. It's okay." Stilinski rubbed a hand up and down his son's arm, finally loosening his hold on his son. Watching his son go through this night after night ever since his wife's death was slowly eating away at him. "Let's get you back to your bed…"
Stiles started shaking. "No. No. I can't sleep again. I can't think about that…" He started crying again. "Dad, you can't lose you." Stiles clenched a fist into his dad's shirt.
The sheriff knitted his eyebrows and held his son even closer. "Hey, you're not going to lose me. I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere." He kept repeating similar words, doing his best to comfort his son, feeling at a loss. Why would his son feel this way? Then he smelt something…burnt toast? He looked over at the counter (the two of them lying on the kitchen floor). The sheriff had been making toast that night before bed but had fallen asleep on the couch instead. "Stiles?"
The boy managed to calm his crying enough to talk. "The Hale fire, they lost everyone. They lost everyone dad, in one day. They went from this big family to practically nothing. You and mom were all I had and now she's…Dad you're all I have left. I can't lose you. I was sleeping and I thought…it was so real. I thought I lost you. I thought I was the one howling in pain like that girl. I thought I was the one storming out of the station but there was no one like Mom to run after me for comfort. God, I can smell it…"
It was then the sheriff smiled, something he probably shouldn't be doing, but it finally clicked in his head. "Listen to me Stiles. You're going to go get your pillow and meet me in my bed and we're going to go back to sleep. It's going to be okay, I promise. You're not going to lose me. We aren't the Hales. Do I ever lie?" He waited for his son to shake his head. "Alright, now go get your pillow."
The two stood up, Stiles obeying his father, and they went to bed. Stiles slept soundly, breathing in what was left of his mother's scent on her side of the bed and being able to hear his dad snoring, breathing right next to him reassuring him that his dad was alive.
He waited for his son to speed off that morning, running late to meet Scott for school, to open his wife's bedside table drawer. He hadn't touched his wife's things, afraid to really. But he had to do this, he had to do it for Stiles. He pulled out a small bottle of lavender spray. "I almost forgot." He smiled thinking of his genius of a wife.
…
Claudia pulled the bottle out as Stiles ran out of the room to get cleaned up before sleep. "What is that?" The sheriff gave his wife a wary look.
She sighed at her husband. "You slept in here with him the other night after the fire. And of course, you were too tired to take off your uniform." She explained as she sprayed the pillow with the wonderful smelling oil. "He can't sleep right, saying he can still smell the ashes no matter how many times I've washed or changed the sheets. I even gave him a different pillow. So, I gave him my pillow tonight and this little trick." She pocketed the bottle once satisfied with her work. "It's lavender. It's supposed to help relax you. It's supposed to help with sleep. I'm hoping a new smell in his nostrils when he sleeps will fix the problem." She yawned. "I can't handle the late nights anymore."
He walked over to her, a big smile on his face. "Have I told you how much I love you lately?" He gently kissed his smart wife, never wanting the kiss to end.
"Ewww! Adult kisses!" But of course Stiles had to ruin the moment. However, he didn't ruin their sleep that night or the next or the next. He slept soundly as long as he had that Lavender on his pillow. Stiles thought it was the pillow, but it was oil. After that they always had to make sure to pack his pillow, while Claudia always packed her secret little bottle.
…
Stilinski smiled down at the bottle before spraying his son's pillow just as his wife once had. He sprayed in the same specific areas and sprayed the same specific number of times, just as his wife had. He had to get this right. "You always were the smart one." He whispered to his wife, long gone, before taking his son's pillow back to his room.
Later that day he mentioned to Stiles that he noticed, when taking Stiles' things back to his room once he'd left for school, Stiles hadn't been sleeping with his pillow but the extra pillow. And, for some unknown reason, the little lie worked. Stiles seemed a little baffled that he hadn't noticed and thanked his dad before going upstairs to reunite with his beloved pillow.
And when the sheriff checked on his son later that night before heading to sleep for the night he found Stiles clinging to the pillow, his nose buried deep into its scent as he slept soundly. There was even a smile playing on the boy's lips, something the man hadn't seen on his son in a long time. Stilinski smiled, "Have I told you how much I love you lately?" He wasn't sure who he was saying it to, but he felt it needed said before going to his room to spray a little lavender on his pillow as well.
Hope you enjoyed! Thanks, review, and have a beautiful day! :)
