Just a Note: Countries are addressed as 'actors' and 'celebrities'. Fanfics are 'films'/'movies' in this case and finally, the Hetalian nations are going to refer to the roles they play in their 'movies' as their human name characters. (For example, Denmark plays as a 'Matthias Kohler' in the movie Gutters.) In an odd way, they play as themselves, only not entirely themselves...?
(~) Special Retracing Interview (~)
"The stage is set for another evening Live, with our favourite host of the night…" Dramatic pause before the commentator jovially praises, "Aaaammmeerriiiicaa!"
The name resounds throughout the auditorium, blending in with the applause and the music played by none other than England, who was hired for his good taste in pop music. America enters the spotlight, dressed in a fancy suit with blue tie. Grand sliding doors reveal him to the crowd; everyone stands, personified country and human alike.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen!" bellows the American host. The applause grows louder until he calms them down with a gentle gesture. "Welcome to a special night filled with special guests! Heck yeah! Guys, we shall be taking a step into the post-apocalyptic world of three movies, one of which has started it all! I, myself has starred in one of them, yeah – " the crowd cuts him off with laughter and clapping. He continues as poster images of each movie display on the large screen behind him. "Yup! Tonight we have special guests among the crowd!" His audience cheers. "The main cast of two critically acclaimed movies, is sitting among you all! Let's put a spotlight on the leading actors for Gutters and Walls: Denmark, Sealand and Italy – everybody holler!" A louder applause echo in the room as the celebrities' faces display on the screen.
Denmark's grin charms the ladies in the crowd, and beside him, Sealand waves to the crowd with curious wide eyes and a smiling face that delights them all. When the camera skim to Italy sitting alongside Spain, France and Romano, the young Italian leaps off his seat, arms outstretched to seemingly embrace the audience whole.
America clears his throat to reign in the crowd's attention. "And today's cafeteria special we'd like to serve a bit of doomsday rations!" he jokes, "Of course, it'll be Romanian food and Swiss chocolate." The crowd laughs. "Don't worry, guys we won't be serving cabbage soup, or Swiss cheese tonight. Though, we will be serving Belgian waffles, Turkish delights, and Hungarian goulash." Another chortling.
"And if you're wondering what goulash may be, it is a combination of ghouls and Romania's lashing, eh?" The crowd explodes with even more laughter. "Actually we aren't really serving any of those meals tonight, because those treats have turned into real people! Mix them in a bowl, and that…made the third movie!" Again the crowd responds wonderfully, and America takes a moment before cleverly saying, "Cannibalism, my dear children."
When the roaring laughter finally stops he proceeds. "All right let's be serious. Tonight is packed with special interviews with the main cast and supporting actors of the upcoming new movie 'Retrace'. After that – aside from getting special previews of the movie – we'll also be taking time playing one of my favourite games, right Britaiiin?" Refers to his English DJ, who nods to him saying, "I believe we are going to have a bloody hell of a good time, America…"
The cheer hit a crescendo, America wildly announces over the crowd. "Commence Operation, Let's Introduce Everybody Already!" he claims, grinning from ear to ear.
Then as if on command, one of the casually dressed backstage crew members wearing a headset, named Canada, walks out pushing a trolley of tea mugs filled with the hot beverages. He sets them on the long coffee table in front of the long red leather couch.
"Awesome, bro!" America hollers. With a nod and a smile, Canada acknowledges, and then leaves, exiting with a shy wave to the audience.
America extends his arms about to embrace everyone in the room. "The tea is here, freshly brewed from our DJ! Now let's finally begin the frickin' show! Everyone give a round of applause to the three main people casted in Retrace: Hungary, Switzerland and Romania!"
To his right, the sliding doors open, theatre lights focus on the incoming actors through the special effects fog.
First it was Hungary who shines brightly out of the doors. Her dress beautifully shapes the elegant form of her body in shimmering deep green, complimenting her eyes. Following right behind her, dressed in their best suits were Romania and Switzerland. With a charming smile on his face, Romania does a dramatic pose blocking Hungary's way jokingly. Eventually he steps aside to let the lady sit on the long leather couch first, while he settles on the other end. Meanwhile the Swiss wore a tight-lipped smile upon entering, and stiffly sits between the Romanian and the Hungarian. They were conveniently at an arm's length away from their tea mugs on the coffee table, close enough for the American host to talk to them clearly.
"Welcome to the show, you guys!" America chuckles, sitting up on his chair, prepared with questions; a large poster of Retrace is displayed behind them.
Hungary smiles. "Thank you for having us here, America!"
"Yeah, thank you for um…this," Switzerland says nervously.
"I know I'm grateful!" Romania adds with a laugh, "I mean look at that flattering picture of me!"
Referring to the movie poster, America can't help but laugh with the Romanian.
"Your face is half covered with a gas mask," Hungary points out.
"My gorgeous face is half covered," Romania indignantly tells her, raising a brow. "Are you disappointed?"
"Stop it you two," Switzerland deadpans.
America proceeds. "So guys, the buzz is around! I can't believe it's been three years since Gutters was released, and for Walls it's been a year! We'd like to present to you some shout-outs from the fellow cast members of these two movies. But first, share us something. What are your thoughts on the first two movies which eventually led to the making of the film you're now in?"
"Well...there was a huge hype with the first movie with Denmark and Sealand starring in it first," Switzerland answers. "I suppose a lot of things just exploded from there with the writers and directors. The hype definitely led to making the sequel, and oh, I don't know, the prequels, then the third film…"
"And you can't compare Gutters and Walls," Hungary adds in. "Both movies were incredible, tear-shedding films in their own way. I was bawling mad with Gutters and I was superbly happy for their Oscar Winning. Walls did an incredible job as well – I mean the cast was really great in that movie. I think both movies are just phenomenal and being a part of that is just fantastic."
"It is really an honour," Switzerland continues, "And as Hungary said, both movies were just emotionally thrilling. Carefully directed. The different directors for each film tore at the hearts of the audience. That, I think, is the constant and apparent 'thing' in the Calamity epic." He chuckles.
"I want to say something!" Romania perks up. "Everything is sort of linked together. I think Gutters is the root of this all and Walls stemmed right out from it, see? And beside it, is our movie: the stump."
They laugh. "What do you mean by stump?" America asks humorously. "Retrace stump?"
Romania grins, drumming his fingers against the couch's comfy arm rest. "Yeah! A stump. It's got its own thing here and there. I mean, it's got an entirely different concept compared to the first two films. You could know nothing about the Calamity at all, before diving into Retrace and I'm very excited about this."
Hungary rolls her eyes. "That's because he thinks he did a good job."
"What was that, supporting actress?"
Switzerland interjects. "Next question, please?"
America can't help but laugh along with the audience. "Oh, okay, guys!" chuckles America. He faces one of the cameras and gestures to the big screen behind him. "You know what? Before we hit commercial break, we have some clips for you. When the filming of Gutters had finished and Walls and Ditches were being debuted at the FF Film Festival, Retrace was announced. We've managed to ask the past memorable cast to share any thoughts and, or, advice. Take a look!"
The screen displays Denmark and Sealand in a fancier set of clothes. It was during the FF Film Festival when Ditches and Walls, were being premiered among other upcoming films. Celebrities were dressed in formal wear to attend and watch unreleased movies, first hand.
Crouched beside Sealand, Denmark smiles up at the camera. "Heard that, kiddo? We made a mark! Looks like the end of the world isn't over after all."
Sealand chuckles. Finland and Sweden were standing by, while Iceland and Norway momentarily appear among the layers of lineups in the background.
"I hope the cast is as handsome as I am!" laughs Denmark. "My advice to the future cast: Don't take my can of pineapples. How about you, Sealand? Anything…?"
"To the screen writers!" Sealand grins, jokingly. "Kill everyone!"
Laughter sparks, and then the clip switches to Italy who randomly mentions something about Seborgia and feelings. The video then shows Germany looking sternly at the camera as if it was eating his patience; then shows, Spain and France flailing their limbs, joking around about their lost appendages in their films; then returns to Italy again, this time with Romano beside him who suddenly bursts out, 'I have no f*cking comment!'; Poland takes a moment in front of the camera with a thumbs up, saying, 'Do it, like, total justice!'. Then the video puts up a montage of the rest of the cast expressing their thrill, and saying, 'Have Fun' or 'Good Luck' to the future cast; from America himself, to England, Russia, Greece, Canada, and then finally it cuts back to the Nordics with Sealand. In the middle in front of them, Denmark strikes a pose saying, 'Can you beat the coolness of Gutters?'
The crowd turns their attention to the smiling host and his guests. When the clapping ends, it was Romania who chuckles, "The end of the world is too cool, if y'know what I mean."
Hungary mutters, "Not everyone understands your jokes."
America cuts them off, saying, "All right, when we come back after a commercial break we will have a special sneak peak of the film as well as more of the cast memebers joining us, from Belgium, Turkey, Prussia and Austria! Ladies and gentlemen, don't go away!"
A fancy transition flies across the screen, showing clips of the next part of the show. The first clip shows Prussia standing on the couch excitedly, arms out as if he's king of the world, he cheers, "F*ck yeah!"
Then it cuts to him and Austria sitting comfortably with Hungary in between them. America asks, "My question goes to Hungary. Is there actually a reunion with the three of you in the movie–?"
And then it cuts to a clip of Belgium and Switzerland, America asking them, "I got a letter from one of the fans here asking if there's going to be a kissing scene in the movie–"
Clip cuts again, showing what looks like a game with Turkey, Romania and Hungary doing push ups on the floor, while America starts placing pillows on their backs; the crowd cheering on their favourites. Then another live-show game cuts in, showing the cast of Retrace happily in a lineup and America announcing, "Who would like to see a people pyramid, ladies and gentlemen?"
Commercials start.
(~)
Writer's Ramble:
This was utterly random, purely for some light amusement and fun with the characters. As you can see countries were addressed as 'actors' and 'celebrities' by their nation's name. These 'movies' are indeed fanfictions. The roles they say they portray are their Human Names. Yes it seems confusing 'cause it's like they're playing as themselves, but not quite themselves, you know what I mean...?
Anyway, these are just purely random and for fun. :D Not as heavily weighted as my actual work, Retrace.
Credit goes to Glassamilk's Gutters and Sunruner's Walls.
I don't own Hetalia.
