Summary: Just walking away does far more damage than they can ever know...

This is dedicated to all of the people who know just how cold the floor can be.


What I've Done.

Have you ever had that feeling? When someone walks away from you, someone who means the whole world to you; it's as if you've been hit from behind with a brick of ice. You watch them, helpless, and as you hit the floor you call out to them. Over and over again... Come back... Please... No... Please... They won't turn around. You know they won't... The floor's so familiar by now. So cold...

You shiver and try to suppress the tears welling up in your eyes but you can't. They fall, one by one, sliding down your pale cheeks, skimming over your chapped lips. You look at your wrists and imagine how much better you'd feel if the white scars and half healed cuts were opened, blood leaving your body along with your pain, the hurtful memories.

You're still calling. Their name leaving your numb lips as if to comfort you because you know they don't want to hear it anymore. Too little, too late... You think you're broken but... You've broken them... They say they love you but you can see the remorse in their eyes... He's thinking of all the times... Every time I hurt him I know it's going to hurt me. And I deserve it. I'm nothing but a common whore. I should rot, far beneath the ground. Away from you, so you shall no longer bare the pain I inflict on your innocent soul.

People are there, around me, trying to comfort me. They don't understand what I'm thinking, why I'm thinking it... I don't need to be alive anymore. I gave you my heart the moment you gave me your hand. There's nothing I can do to stop you hurting... To stop your pain I'd stop my heart... Nothing I can do to stop me hurting. But there's a difference. I asked for this. Not for you to be hurt, but I know I asked to be hurt in return. I want to feel my soul burn in Hell as punishment for What I've Done.


I know this piece of writing is really short but it's not written for length purposes. Just me having a hard week, much like this story one more than one occasion. Many thanks to Katie who is the only one to truly keep me from running away from everything I have done.

I also thought that this would be a good idea to put together with a maybe conflicted pairing? I put it as Neal/Kel because of Kel's feeling towards Neal and I was thinking of an idea for some sort of Kel-x-Neal story? Think it'd be worth it?

- Muse