Chapter One
It was a beautiful day, and everyone was excited. There was a superhero picnic and the whole entire crew was invited. Rocket Raccoon stood up and said, "Listen up everyone, I hate you all, goodbye."
Then he proceeded to stumble away (he was drunk), but he fell. Everyone laughed. Rocket got really furious. "ASSHATS!" he slurred.
All of a sudden, Rocket was on a picnic table, and he said, "I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies~ Put'ch'ya hands up! Up in the club..."
Peter Quill, who was also drunk, decided to copy Rocket. But instead, he sang 'You are a Pirate' by Lazytown. All the others facepalmed. Rocket (unfortunately) was still singing 'Single Ladies' by Beyoncé.
Tony Stark (for some reason) decided to make a toast. "To being superheros and heroines!" Everyone (except Rocket and Quill) raised there glass.
Rocket finally managed to walk *cough*stumble*cough* to the mens' bathroom. All of a sudden (when he was washing his paws) a bright light surrounded Rocket, and he felt a strange sensation. He looked in the bathroom mirror and gasped. He looked kinda human. Although he looked human, he still had his ears, tail, cybernetics and weapons.
A little bit later, he sobered up with some Gatorade he found in the garbage, and headed to Dunkin Donuts. He ordered his usual – an egg muffin. After he ordered and sat down, he dialed up his bestie, _.
"Hey _. I have something to show you..."
"Is it another gun?" _ groaned.
"No, but I somehow turned half-human..."
"EH?!" she (AKA _) screeched.
"Yeah, I'm at Dunks if ya wanna come see."
"Well, of course I wanna see! You're my favourite best friend!" [A/N: FRIENDZONED...!]
_ hung up. Rocket guessed she was on her way to see him.
Ten Minutes Later
"...and that's how I ended up like this," Rocket explained.
"You're hot!" _ blurted.
"I-uh... thank... you...?"
"Crap," _ muttered under her breath.
"Uhh, anywayssss, I should probably head to Stark Tower. You wanna come with?" Rocket asked as casual as can be.
"Sure! You paying?" _ questioned.
Rocket looked confused. "Paying for what?"
"The egg muffins, silly~!" _ giggled.
~After paying and- oh hey look, now they're at Stark Tower!~
The two headed into the elevator. Nothing really happened until...
"Sorry for the inconvenience, but the elevator has become stuck," JARVIS announced. Rocket figured this was the best time to confess something to _.
"_... I love you so so so much...!" Rocket took _'s silence as rejection.
_ kissed Rocket!
~Five hours later~
"The elevator is now functional," JARVIS announced. _ and Rocket got up from the floor. They got dressed as fast as they could. As soon as they did, the doors of the elevator opened and revealed Tony. With a VHS tape.
"Surpri~ise," he grinned.
"TONY!" _ gasp-yelled.
"What do you want, Tony," Rocket inquired through clenched teeth.
"Oh nothing, just cleaning services..."
"Oh hell to the no, Stark!" Rocket objected.
"Then it goes for the whole world to see!" Tony said with a smirk.
_ then punched Tony in the face and Rocket grabbed the tape.
"What a jackass," Rocket muttered.
"You said it!" _ agreed.
