Hello everyone! Today, we are celebrating a special day. It's some fanfiction author's birthday (Actually, it happened a week ago... I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE!) But... it's not my birthday, that was already in March, it's Midnight Mayonaka's birthday! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MIDNIGHT! I wish you a good birthday and life in general! Anyhoo, let's get the insanity started! (Although, I must admit, I'm afraid that my humor is running a little dry for some reason)
It was a day like any other, the birds chirped, calm music played, and I, Gocty, chased all the MFB character with a giant, sparkly boulder and rainbow sprinkles that rained from the sky. "GOCTY! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?!" Yuki screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Because," I grinned from ear to ear as I jumped up and down repeatedly. "It's fun! Plus, I need you guys for something!"
"What is it then?" Yuki lifted an eyebrow to show his suspicions. He scratched his chin, and he momentarily stopped running away from the boulder. "If it has ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING to do with ketchup nukes, I'm running out of here through one of your worm holes!"
"Oh, but I don't use wormholes..." I blinked a few times and shook my head. "Oh Yuki, Yuki, I thought you knew! My space-time portals are Tipler Cylinders! No time to explain, but I recommend you Google the cylinders for yourself, the subject is very fascinating. Anyhow, back to what I was saying. I'm late, I'm late for a very important date! And all because of piano lessons!" I grabbed a clock out of thin air and flung it somewhere, causing a crashing noise to sound far off into the distance. A plot bunny hopped by (Get the Alice in Wonderland reference?) and started to eat a clock shaped carrot.
Yuki stared at me silly before teetering his eyes towards the plot bunny. The plot bunny was rainbow colored and left a trail of sprinkles when it hopped, and Madoka and Ginga jumped out of nowhere to snuggle with it. I cleared my throat to ready myself for speech, and because I still had a cold lingering from a few days ago, "Now, I really do need your help, it's Midnight Mayonaka's birthday, and we must throw her a party. After all, it is her birthday, and time's a wasting." I chucked a flying alarm clock up to Yuki's face, and Yuki grumbled.
"Okay, okay, I get the message, but how do we throw a party for an insane author?" Yuki questioned, adjusting his glasses.
"Well," I anime sweat-dropped, "we just... throw a party. An insane one, of course, but nevertheless, we throw a party."
"But don't aliens have different birthday traditions?" Yuki asked.
"WHAT MADE YOU THINK AUTHORS ARE ALIENS?!" I shouted. Steam poured out of my ears, and my eyes momentarily turned into a solid sheet of red while an explosion of orange frosting covered every mountain on earth, and that was including the ones underwater. "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! YUKI, WE HAVE TO SEND LETTERS TO THE ENTIRE MFB CAST TO CLARIFY THAT WE'RE NOT ALIENS! Well, most of us aren't, anyway." Creepy alien music started to play, and I shot Yuki an evil grin masked by happiness. I clapped my hands a few times, and I announced, "Okay people! Onward to the WBBA!"
"Hey, where is everyone?" I looked around to see all the characters gone, even Yuki. Some crickets chirped, too. "Helloooooooooooooooooooooo? Anyone there...?" A tumbleweed blew through the air, and I stomped my foot. "Fine then, if the MFB cast can't help me book a reservation somewhere in MFB world, preferably in the WBBA building, I shall just do so myself." I walked away, rather insulted by the characters, and the plot bunny and flying alarm clock followed.
Tsubasa carried a stack of heavy boxes to his office. All the boxes had labels on them, and all the labels said "Pencils." I didn't really know why Tsubasa needed so many pencils, particularly because Tsubasa already had an entire closet dedicated to pencils, but oh well, because I just needed to ask one thing.
"Hi Tsubasa"! I screeched at the top of my lungs just to annoy him.
"Oh, hello... AHHHHHHHHHHH! GOCTY! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I'M DOOMED! DOOMED I TELL YOU! HERE, TAKE THESE PENCILS AS A GIFT FROM ME, SO THAT WE CAN TRADE THESE PENCILS FOR YOU NOT ANNOYING US!" Tsubasa tossed the boxes fill with pencils at me, but he stopped midway in the toss when he noticed a flying clock and a plot bunny.
"W-what... are those... things...?" Tsubasa pointed to the plot bunny who ate his paperwork, and the clock who chatted with another clock hanging off the wall.
"A ploy bunny and flying clock, why do you ask?" I lifted an eyebrow and began to explain. "Although, I could use a favor..."
"NO! TAKE THE PENS! I'LL GIVE THEM ALL TO YOU IF I DON'T HAVE TO DO THE FAVOR!" Tsubasa frantically dug around his office in search for pens, and he threw all the pens he found at me.
"Rude, I say. Anyhoo, I don't want your pens, and as much as it would help me, I don't want pens at the moment!" I brushed some of the pens off, and all the pens jumped back into their previous positions. "There, that's better, now then, I just need the WBBA for a day. It's for Midnight's birthday-"
Tsubasa cut off my sentence when he screamed, "WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU SAY?! AN INSANE AUTHOR'S BIRTHDAY IS TODAY?! T-O-D-A-Y, TODAY?! Oh the insanity!" He fainted, and that left me with one of two options, to call the emergency room or continue along with my marry way. I decided to do both. I called for the emergency room to come to room 3486, and although I didn't know if that was the room number for Tsubasa's office or not, I decided that I made a decent guess.
"Also," I tried to explain. "Midnight's birthday was a week ago. It's just that I'm slow at doing EVERYTHING, so it's more than a tad late."
I skipped away into the elevator, and I took it to the top floor. When I got there, I discovered some ketchup stains still remained after that food fight here a few months ago, but they seemed relatively minor. I set up a tank full of helium and a large bag of balloons. The balloons all assembled in a line to get helium pumped into them, and after thirty minutes, all the balloons floated around atop of the roof.
Letting the balloons in the WBBA, they all dispersed throughout the building, with about thirty balloons on each level. "Yes my minions, do your madness upon this place!" I exclaimed, and evil music started to play as imaginary flames formed behind me. No one could see the flames, and everyone in the building thought I was mad (in which I am), but who cares? It's someone's birthday! I plastered all the walls with signs saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIDNIGHT!", and the plot bunny from earlier followed me, leaving rainbow sprinkles everywhere it bounced.
The legendary bladers sat on the twentieth floor, and they all exchanged some words and ate cereal. Well, except for Dynamis, because he was too caught up in wondering how the lights worked. "Hmm... This light can work without fire! Tell me, my fellow bladers, how does this bulb-light work?"
"It's called a light-bulb you know," Kyoya remarked while he ate his cereal.
"Yes, yes, a light-bulb, now tell me, how does it light up without a fire?" Dynamis asked.
"Electricity, or more specifically, electricity is conducted through a circuit to power the light-bulb," I answered upon entering.
"Oh, thanks for explaining-" Ginga paused mid-sentence once he realized who stood in front of him. "AH! GOCTY!" He threw his bowl of cereal at me, and some milk landed on my hair.
"What's with people throwing stuff at me today?! First, Tsubasa threw pencils AND pens at me, and now, you just threw your cereal!" I grabbed a blow-dryer and blew myself dry. "There, better to say the least, now then, who wants to help me with Midnight's party?"
"WAIT, IT'S AN INSANE AUTHOR'S BIRTHDAY?!" all the legendary bladers wailed, in which their screams sounded like a dying cat.
"Goodbye," Yuki tipped himself out the room, and so did the rest of the legendary bladers.
"Oh come on, I'm only insane 89 percent of the time! The other 11 percent, I worry about my grades!" I shouted after them. No one heard me, because they were all out the door and sprinting down the hallway, but out of my distraught, I found someone left a piece of cereal on the floor.
"COME FORTH! MY ARMY OF CEREAL! AND WE SHALL TAKE OVER THIS BUILDING! Only temporarily, I say, but still, TROOPS! LINE UP AND WREAK INSANITY!" I pointed to all the offices, and I animated a few hundred cereal boxes worth of cereal (I don't know where I got all that cereal, if you're wondering that) to have them decorate everything in birthday decorations.
Some balloons floated around, streamers littered the walls, and a truckload of confetti I ordered would arrive any minute. I, on the other hand, proceeded to spray the entire WBBA building with silly-string, including the outside walls and parking lot! The whole building turned into one huge mess of rainbows and decorations, but it appeared insane enough, so I decided that it would do. I also charged the cleanup bill for the building on Tsubasa~ :D
"Oh, the bright colors, the horror, the horror!" Kyoya looked around. He felt dizzy because of the bright colors and the neon sign I hung on a wall. The neon sign glowed with the words "HAPPY BIRTHDAY", and I stood back to look at my work.
"Organized chaos is awesome!" I remarked. I gave my head a nod, and I leaped through a Tipler Cylinder. "I'm going to get Midnight!"
"WAIT, THERE'S ANOTHER INSANE AUTHOR COMING?!" Ryo nearly fainted.
"You didn't pick up the hint? It's not Gocty's birthday, yet there are happy birthday signs every 3.8 meters. And that's an oddly specific number, but Gocty apparently decided on 3.8..." Ginga anime sweat-dropped.
"Right, right," Ryo nodded. "Well, the Immortal Phoenix is here to make this party a blast!" Ryo smiled, and his teeth caused cheesy lens flare.
"Dad, it's an insane fanfiction author birthday party, it's insane, and we're not going to keep our sanity if we stick around any longer!" Ginga tugged at Ryo and Madoka's arms to signal them to get out of the building, which they did, along with Ginga. The plot bunny from earlier chased them back into the building with its lazer eyes (the idea of plot bunnies having lazer eyes belongs to Midnight).
"Seriously, again with the plot bunnies?!" Ginga yelled.
"Yes, the plot bunnies are back," the flying alarm clock spoke. Ginga screamed in shock when he heard the clock talk.
"AH!"
The clock flew away out the window, and it shouted, "Bye, my friends, I will return one day, but for now, I must return to the land of the plot bunnies! Come, my plot bunny friend!" The plot bunny jumped onto the alarm clock, and they both flew off into the sunset.
"Well, that was awkward..." Ginga scratched his head.
Midnight Mayonaka and I stood in a store, and while it looked like a regular store at first glance, once you realized that the store rested on the edge of the universe, you realized that this was anything but a normal store. The store looked pretty much like a convenience store on the outside, and a dingy store at that, but it was one of the only places in the universe to get insane author weapons. A neon sign outside glowed brightly, and the words spelled out "INSANE AUTHOR WEAPONS STORE" in all caps. Elevator music played as Midnight and I decided which weapons to purchase.
"Should I get a mustard blaster or cat cannon?" I asked.
"Probably the cat cannon," Midnight responded. "Take a look at this mini-edition exploding glitter! Hey, Gocty, didn't you need these for your revenge plan on the antagonists from my story Fragment of Treachery?"
"Oh yeah, they were out of them when I came here a few weeks ago!" I grabbed the exploding glitter off the shelf and continued shopping. I walked on the black and white tiled floor, and I could see the universe from outside the huge windows. "Hey, do you want to go downstairs? There's some cool stuff down there," I pointed to the metal stairs that lead down.
"Um... sure," Midnight eyed the stairs suspiciously before setting a foot on it. The stairs creaked a bit, and she questioned, "Are you sure this is safe...?"
"Of course I am!" I reassured her and scrambled down the stars. I motioned with my hand for her to come, "Come, we must hurry, or we'll miss the party!"
"Fine," Midnight rushed down after me, and we both ran down the corridor. We reached the very back of the hallway we were in, and in front of us stood a door.
"Ha, ha! We have reached our destination!" I exclaimed.
"This is just a broom closet," Midnight anime sweat-dropped.
"Ah, but open the door, my friend," I insisted that she open the door. Midnight shook her head back and forth and sighed, and she twisted open the doorknob. The door swung open to reveal a closet full of brooms, and a few brooms fell out with a loud plunk!
"I told you, it's a broom closet," Midnight rolled her eyes.
"Oops, forgot the three knocks," I closed the door. Midnight gave me an odd look, but I ignored it and gave the door three knocks. Someone on the other side thumped their hand on the door three times as well, and I swung open the door just like Midnight did. "Wanna take another look inside?" I asked.
Midnight hesitantly poked her head into the door, and she widened her eyes and gasped, "What the...? This place is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, which makes no sense... Oh well." Midnight shrugged it off and entered along with me.
"Hi there!" I waved at a small dragon who scampered by. The dragon jumped into a pile of edible paper laying in a corner, and Midnight and I walked through the maze of insane author products. The place looked like a library, and we could see marble structures left, right, and anywhere we set our eyes. We passed the occasional statue of an insane author, and even found ourselves carved into stone, posing with our arms up and a pencil and paper in hand. Some dragons and mice zipped by on the cold, stone surfaces, and we could see books of all types aligned the walls. Some of the books even flew. Stain-glass windows let in starlight from outside, and they created a rainbow effect on the walls. In short, it was a sight like no other.
"Amazing," Midnight blinked. "So... are we still in the Insane Author Weapons store...?"
"Yes, yes we are, we're just in the main section of it," I answered. "Now, let's get loaded with weapons, shall we?" I picked up a marshmallow and raw potato bazooka, and Midnight found a barrel of monkeys.
"Talk about taking figure of speech literally," Midnight dragged the barrel of monkeys to the front counter. We picked up some other stuff including the mini-edition exploding glitter, and off we went to pay at the front desk.
"Three poems and an onion, please," the clerk reached out his scaly hand to take the payment. The clerk wasn't an ordinary clerk, just like how the Insane Author Weapons Store wasn't a normal store. The clerk on duty looked like a humanoid version of an iguana, hence the scaly hand, and the spines on his back tingled every few seconds. He wore a formal white shirt, brown pants, and brown dress shoes. A silver ring shone on his finger, and he grinned at us showing off his pointed teeth.
"What kind of payment is that?" Midnight tilted her head to the side, obviously confused.
"We give him what he tells us to give him, and in this case, we give him three poems and an onion. Now then, you don't happen to have an onion by chance, do you?" I asked.
"Um, no," Midnight sighed. "Do you?"
"I might," I dug around in my pockets, and trust me when I say they're deeper than they appear. I pulled out a rubber ducky, a turtle, a soap bottle, and a burnt dog hair blaster before I managed to find an onion deep within my pockets. "Here, there's one onion." I set the onion on the counter and pulled out something else, a small book labeled "The Really Bad Poems I Wrote When I was Six," and I ripped out three pages. I handed them to clerk, and off we strolled, dragging our stuff behind us in the free cloth bags handed out (Hey, they care about the environment, okay?).
"We're back!" I jumped out from a pile of confetti, and I shot some cats out of my cat cannon.
"Hello!" Midnight leaped through a space-time portal with her barrel of monkeys, and she opened the barrel letting the monkeys out. The monkeys climbed and hopped on the walls, and they knocked down anything left on the WBBA desks. I set loose my exploding glitter, and soon we were all having a glittery time. I made it rain cake, Midnight make it rain frosting, a monkey sprayed silly string everywhere, and in general, Midnight and I knew we would have a good time.
"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Nile screeched. All the characters tried to pile out in a big heap, but no one made it out the door because the masses of characters who tried to escape clogged up all the entrances and exits. That fact wouldn't have mattered at that point, though, because Midnight already used her powers to create a jello wall thick enough block off all the exits, and whenever someone plunged themselves through the wall, they would get stuck in jello, green, mint flavored jello to be precise.
"MARSHMALLOW FIGHT!" Midnight fired the marshmallow and raw potato bazooka on marshmallow settings, so it only shot out marshmallows.
"Why only marshmallows? It is a marshmallow and raw potato bazooka, right?" Jack chimed in.
"Good idea," Midnight switched the bazooka to marshmallow and raw potato settings.
"Seriously?! You HAD to do THAT?! You just had to suggest to Midnight that she use the raw potato settings, Mr. Jack?!" Yuki screamed at Jack. His face turned red with anger, and he started to throw back the marshmallows at Midnight and I.
"Technically, I mentioned the potato AND marshmallow settings," Jack crossed his arms and flung a potato at Yuki. "Also, for your information narrator, I did not fling the potato at Yuki, I just have terrible aim and meant to fire it at Gocty!"
"But we already had a food fight! We have to come up with diverse ways to wreak havoc on you guys!" I pouted for a bit. "AND YOU CAN STILL TALK TO THE NARRATOR?! I THOUGHT THAT ABILITY ENDED WHEN 'WHY BEYBLADE CHARACTERS HATE STUFF' DID!"
"Oh, I've always been able to hear the narrator, in fact, I hear that shouting person saying 'Last time, on Beyblade...!' at the beginning of every single episode, seriously, that guy needs a new, more creative intro!"
"Just how long have you been able to break the fourth wall?" I asked, and the creepy alien music from earlier returned.
"For a while now, it's not just something reserved for insane authors, you know," Jack replied.
"Oh the insanity..." Yuki began to feel faint and, well, fainted. His glasses fell off, too, and Damian stole them just because he wanted to. Stars began to spin around Yuki, and Dynamis began to poke at the stars in amazement, clearly not getting the pop culture reference.
Suddenly, a monkey jumped down from a wall right out of the blue, and it dumped blue paint on Zeo.
"Hey!" Zeo tried to brush the paint off before it dried, but it was paint Midnight got from the Insane Author Weapons Store labeled: Quick Drying Paint for the Insane Author in a Rush.
"Zeo, it's fast drying paint," I pointed to the already dry paint on his head.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO BE BLUE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!" Zeo ran around in circles screaming about his regrets related to joining the MFB crew and how he never thought he would question signing up to be part of the MFB cast. "I FORGOT TO READ THE FINE PRINT SAYING THAT INSANE AUTHORS MIGHT TORTURE YOU FOR LIFE! DARN YOU FINE PRINT!"
"Yes, fine print does suck," Midnight agreed, and she nodded her head. "Oh, and you might want to talk to this little guy," Midnight handed Zeo Papa Smurf, and Papa Smurf was very angry about the not wanting to be blue for the rest of his life comment. Papa Smurf took out one of his potions and dumped the test tube on Zeo. Zeo then began to shrink.
"WHAT?!" the pitch Zeo spoke in suddenly became higher as he shrunk, and he found himself as tall as Papa Smurf. Papa Smurf chased Zeo all throughout the floor, and tiny Zeo screamed for his life. "NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! SAVE ME! SAVE ME!" Although, admittedly, all of us did find it hard to hear Zeo, so we ignored him.
"At least the potion worked this time," I dismissed Zeo's panic and continued on. I also started to fill balloons with helium infused jelly, and I sent them off to cover the building in jelly. "Okay, let's REALLY get this party started!" I took out noise makers and started blowing into them, and so did Midnight. Yu and Tithi ate the sugar flavored cake that rained, and soon, they were on a sugar high. They even helped Midnight and I create more noise with the noise makers.
We paraded through the WBBA building disturbing the already dazed WBBA workers, and Midnight made it rain sprinkles, rainbows, cupcakes, and penguins all over the world, even in the ocean. We also charged Tsubasa with the bill, again, of the cleanup of the rain and relocation of the penguins.
Some penguins even started to waddle into the WBBA building, and Ginga and Madoka, again, appeared out of nowhere to hug and cuddle with the penguins. "AH! SO CUTE! GIVE ME THAT PENGUIN!" Ginga demanded for me to give him the penguin.
"Here," I sighed, and Midnight and I decided to go outside to decide what to do next.
"So now what? I don't feel the insanity flowing yet," Midnight crossed her arms.
"I know, I know, I just need a spark of inspiration! I just haven't found a spark of inspiration lately!" I groaned and leaned on the side of the sidewalk.
"Mmm... Maybe this spark will help?" Midnight took out a candle with sparkling fire and handed it to me.
"Thanks," I grinned. I turned the candle into cake and ate it, and suddenly, Midnight had an idea.
"Wait, Gocty, I've got it! I know what we can do!" Midnight snapped her fingers and turned the surrounding grass into cake. "And we'll just charge the cleanup on Tsubasa!"
"But hasn't this been a running gag in the story long enough? And I think we'll make Tsubasa go bankrupt by the time his bills are mailed to him if this keeps up," I took a bite of the frosting, and I washed it down with some orange juice a random vendor gave me.
"True, true, but what else can we do?" Midnight sculpted a bench out of cake for us to sit on, and I continued to eat the candle I transformed into a slice of cake. Midnight started to think, and she scratched her chin with her hand, "Mmm... mmm... I dunno... Oh the sanity! Too much sanity!"
"I say, oh the horror this is, my insane fellow!" I threw a detective's hat on my head and whipped on a trench coat. "What do you say? We must get to the bottom of his case! We must solve the mystery of... the missing insanity!" Dramatic piano music began to play, followed by some jazz. I even put on a fake mustache and summoned a magnifying glass out of nowhere for good measure. It began to rain, and Midnight and I set ourselves off on the missing case of the insanity.
Okay, I'm sorry I had to end it there! It was getting way too long, and I'm probably going to upload a second chapter for this. I'm sorry this is a week late, Midnight! I know, I know, procrastination in writing is a huge problem for me, and I hope to write more, but school has just become a headache. There's a lot more homework than there was last year, and it's not that I'm struggling to finish it, it's just that it takes longer... a lot longer... Everything just kind of feels like a haze at the moment.
Well, I really hope you like it, Midnight, and happy late birthday! I'M SORRY THAT IT'S LATE! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT FOR A WHILE, AND I TEND TO MAKE EXTREMELY SLOW PROGRESS IN WRITING! Well, please read and review, and tell my honestly if my humor is getting... well, not funny. I don't feel as insane as usual for some reason.
