A/n: This is a very random thing that I did on Omegle with one of the strangers there, shortly after the end of the most recent series. I changed some things, added some things. Credit to myself and the stranger. (I was Sherlock; stranger was Moriarty)

As much as I would like to, I own nothing except half of the words on this page.


Sherlock pulled his phone from his coat pocket, casting a cursory glance at the screen.

1 new message.

Unknown Sender

04.08.2012 13:02

Who are you?

A slight snort and a disgruntled expression were the only signs that he was registering the question, even as he responded to it, thumbs gliding over the keypad with practiced ease.

You know who I am – SH

It wasn't long until the phone vibrated again, signalling another message.

I know who you pretend to be. – JM

I am you. – SH

Again, superficial connection. I do not allow myself to be driven by anything so capricious as sentiment. – JM

Though, good on you for finding yourself a pet. Is he house broken yet? – JM

As far as I am aware. Other than the fact that he hides my cigarettes. And my skull. – SH

I don't know why he insists on keeping those from you. Addiction is for the weak, and you love to pretend you're something special, don't you? – JM

Sherlock glared at the screen, a small snarl forming over his pale, sculpted lips.

I am better than the rest. – SH

Better than most, maybe. But don't allow yourself to become egotistical. That's a slippery slope there. – JM

You would know. – SH

It's not an ego if you're actually better than everybody else. – JM

I wouldn't say you were better. I'd describe you much differently. – SH

Care to share? – JM

No. – SH

No, come on, you can tell me. Friendly Jim from IT, yeah? People love opening up to me about their problems. – JM

Nice try, but you're also Dear Jim, help me commit crime without punishment. Anything I say could be used against me. – SH

How wrong. – JM

EVERYTHING you say will be used against you. – JM

Very well, I shall guard my words carefully. – SH

All right then. I'll try not to pry. Though I can never resist a secret. – JM

Secrets are often difficult to come across unless you know the weakness of the secret holder. – SH

What's my weakness then? – JM

Me. – SH

Really? Most would say 'insanity', 'psychopathy', 'arrogance'… What makes you so sure? – JM

The fact that, despite your claims that I am nothing compared to you, you continue to create puzzles for me, and talk to me almost constantly. – SH

Surely you have sufficient experience in boredom to realize you're nothing more than a distraction to me. You are as the game show is to the common man. A toy to an infant, not even capable of realizing it's being played with. – JM

Or maybe I enjoy being the object of your momentary attention, revel in the toying of your hands. – SH

If once a man's weakness is known, his deepest, darkest, most terrifying secrets are just a deduction away, and you claim to know my weakness, then what might be my secret? – JM

You revel in anarchy, yet you crave to be cared for, though you fear caring yourself lest you get hurt; and so you continue with this air of arrogance to draw people in and push them away with the same hand. – SH

Sorry, love, think that's you. You're of the 'Dear Jim, I don't understand these feelings' variety. You're fascinated by me because I'm the only one with even less humanity than you, and that makes you feel good, because it makes you think that you've got some. – JM

I don't revel in anarchy. – SH

You revel in order, and that's just as bad. Your whole life is built on the idea that the world makes sense, but you cannot open your eyes to see just how impossible our world is. – JM

Ah, but it is only impossible to the blind. Once you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. – SH

There was no reply.