So, today's the day I move into Littleroot. My mother was hyped as fuck about it, maybe because she wants some "alone time" with Dad or some shit. Turns out, there's not enough room in the front for both of us so what does she do? She promises the Truck Driver a good old dick sucking and shoves me in the back of the truck with all the crap we have. Wow, Mom, you really care about me, don't you. Luckily, I found my Apple Watch with my GBA Emulator so I played with that until I got to my new home. Strange, I don't remember the Boy or Girl choice being so high quality. Must be a Bootleg or Hacked rom I guess.

So, when the Truck stopped and I stepped out of it, I looked around and thought, "Wow. This place...is actually really fucking gay." I was about to go back in the truck but my bitch of a mother called me inside and told me to set a clock. I don't fucking have to, why can't you do it? Too busy having sexual fantasies of those Machokes? So then, I just decided to fuck everything and set the damn clock because I knew that cunt wasn't going to do it herself. And then she called me again to watch some interview hoping that Dad would be on. Turns out she missed it and I didn't give two fucks. She told me to go visit some little faggot who lived next door to us and I set off. Hopefully, that little faggot would be an actual man who would plow me all night...Ahhh, I'm just getting horny from thinking about it!

Oh, boy was I fucking wrong.

When I went upstairs after visiting his whore of a mom, I saw not an actual man and he wasn't just a little faggot. He was the OP-kind of faggot. White hat, stupid smile and inability to stop sucking dicks from the Glory Hole. I know his hat isn't actually white, it's just covered in sperm. That really killed my horny mood. He told me his name was Brendan but I'm just gonna call him, Glorious Winged Faggot or GWF for short. GWF is the son of some bastard professor named Birch and he does Pokemon Research. I think that's a keyword for beastiality. So, I told him to piss off and I set out to Route who-gives-a-shit. I saw that fat fuck professor running from a dog and he started bitching at me to get a Pokemon. Look, you fat bastard, I will leave you to die if you bitch at me ever again. So, there were 3 pokemon, Some Lizard, A Chicken and an Abomination of Nature. I chose the chicken since hey, I could have it for Dinner later. So, I fought against the weak as shit puppy dog and got called over to Birch's Weed Stash. That bastard must have been smoking something because he wants me to become a Pokemon Trainer. GWF also gets to be one so fuck, I'll be seeing him a lot, won't I? Hopefully, I'll get laid by many men along the way and one of them will not be you, GFW.

So, if you're reading this diary, Sit down, Shut the fuck up and enjoy my 3AM, Red-Bull filled, Videogame induced extravaganza of a diary that's gonna blow your fucking mind on how this was even allowed on the Internet.

-May