It scares her, sometimes, just how tempting he is. Coy smiles, nimble fingers, alluring gaze and witty speech.
She shouldn't and oh the Maker does she know it. Still, she is young and she is weak and he is everything to be desired and oh so interesting and dangerous. An assassin should be (she knows) and she must be wary (she is), but even so, he calls to her in ways she never expected.
She is terrified.
She is a mage of the Circle, through and through. Fear ground into her from a young age – be strong, or the demons will find you. Have magic serve you, not rule over you. Find strength in the good and you will not fall. Will not succumb to the darkness that is temptation.
Sometimes she wonders if this, all of this, is just the Fade. She wonders sometimes if this Blight and the civil war and her friends have all been conjured by this demon of temptation, greed and desire.
She wonders if this is all a test – she wonders if she is failing. Any moment the sword will fall and she will be dead because she succumbed to the weakness and she is an abomination.
It never happens and it is terrifying just how easily Zevran lures her in with words of adventure and luck and lust and poisons and danger.
She loves it and when he propositions her, she cannot deny because by now her untouched body screams for him and his danger and his temptation and she is terrified, but welcoming as those nimble fingers loosen her robes and as those lips touch her shoulders.
And she knows this should be nothing. She knows it is dangerous, but nothing has turned her on so much and he is her first and her forever, even if she's so terrified of him and where this path will lead her.
Zevran, however, is gentle.
He must know; how can he not? The way she trembles and stares at him hopelessly. If he doesn't know, he's not a very good assassin because they need to see their prey like this sometimes. Vulnerable and when she's with him, especially like this, small and naked and flushed, she is most definitely vulnerable.
But he goes no farther than she allows, and she allows so, so much because she wants him and his taste and his poison and his danger.
And it's over and she's confused because she doesn't know where this will lead, but she wants to find out. She so desperately wants to find out because she knows she could never have enough of him and the scary thoughts come back and oh Maker, she's still so incredibly terrified.
That's when she realises she's in love.
