Effects of Sleepy Eye

It has been over half a year since my pa and I moved to Sleepy Eye to restart our lives after ma's passing. Things have been fine so far. Pa's freighting service has been getting a lot of business, which means he's traveling most of the time.

My new school is alright. I have been keeping my grades up and doing well on my assignments. One of the negative things about this school is that there are not many kids my age living in town permanently, so making new friends has been hard.

I have also been taking care of our new home, since pa is away the majority of the time. I am the one who cleans our shared space and manages the new shipment orders. And I have finally gotten a hang of cooking basic meals.

Still, I really miss living in Walnut Grove. I miss my old friends, getting to play outside, going to a good school, knowing everybody in town and just having all that open space to roam. Mr. Ingalls and Albert come up sometimes on the weekends with deliveries. Albert keeps me informed on the happenings back home. Pa says we might go back and visit when he finds the free time.

But most of all, I miss my ma. I miss her always being there for me. I miss the happiness she brought to the family. I miss her cooking, her smile, her laugh and her love for me. I tear up whenever I think about her for too long. I know she was trying to do the right thing, trying to save Mary and Adam's son, but what about her own? I cannot help but wonder what happened that night to make her the only person who could save that baby. I am slowly beginning to not blame Mary and Adam for what happened, but the way I see it, that was their baby.

It's Friday night and the only thing I want to do is finish sweeping the dusty floor so I can crash on my bed. Pa is out with another delivery and won't be back until tomorrow, so I do not have to prepare any dinner. Sometimes, I hardly eat when he is away, but then I hear my ma say 'Andy, eat your supper.'

"Hey Andy." I paused. It was pa's voice. "You up there, son?"

"Pa, I thought you had a delivery. What are you doing home?" I asked him, stopping my work when he walked in the room.

"Did you eat dinner yet?" He was smiling and seemed really excited.

"No, sir."

"Well, come on then. Grab your jacket and lets head out."

I put down the broom and got my jacket like I was told. We rarely get to go out to eat, so I started wondering what the special occasion was. I followed pa down the crowded streets of Sleepy Eye, not knowing where he was taking me. I wanted to ask, but convinced myself to let it be a surprise. The sun had just set behind the horizon, the crisp night sky taking over the growing town. The streets were still a bit unsafe at night. However, with my pa and the newly enforced laws keeping order, crime had gone down enough so that people did not have to be scared when simply walking down the streets.

I followed pa into a building, located on the other side of town that I had never been inside of before. It was not a full on saloon like some others in town, but was rather a small bar with one poker table, a small counter and only a dozen places to sit. We sat down at a small table and I noticed a group of men to our left.

"Alright pa, you got me. What's the special occasion?" As soon as I asked that question, my pa looked at me funny.

"What do you mean, Andy? It's-" But before he could explain, the lone waiter came over to us.

"What can I get for ya' tonight?" The older man asked with a thick Irish accent.

"Two Scotches for me and my son." The waiter smiled and turned away to get the order.

Now, I was the one with a confused face. "Pa, what do you mean? I can't drink. I'm not old enough."

Then, he smiled and asked me a ridiculous question. "How old are you?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Sixteen."

"Are you?"

It took me a second to understand what he was trying to get at. But as soon as I realized what my pa was grinning about, I felt like the dumbest person in the world. Today was my birthday, my seventeenth birthday and I had forgotten.

"Pa, it's my birthday. I completely forgot. I'm seventeen."

He smiled at me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"If anyone asks, you're eighteen." Pa started laughing a bit. "I would have baked you a cake like your ma used to, but I'm not that talented in the kitchen."

I shook my head at the whole situation. "She would skin us both if she knew you took me here and let me drink."

He laughed at my comment, knowing that is exactly what she would do.

"Well, with all the work you have been doing back at the house and everything you've went through, I figured you earned it. Besides, I told her one day I'd get you out here."

I saw the waiter walk up to our table and set down the two drinks. "Would you like anything else?"

"Nothing for now, thanks." Pa said, with the waiter proceeding to leave the table.

I watched pa take a sip of his drink, while lifting my own from the table. I remember he used to drink a lot after ma died, but now he hardly does touches the stuff. I brought the glass to my lips and slowly took a sip, my first sip. There was no way I could have sneaked alcohol in the house with ma still around and I hated the stuff when pa was abusing it. The drink burned when it first hit my throat. I could hear pa laughing in the background, probably because of my face as a reaction to the drink. I set the glass down, looked at him and just shook my head again.

"Don't worry, it doesn't burn after awhile."

I smiled. "Pa?"

"What is it, Andy?" He took another sip.

"I was wondering if I could start working for your business." I sighed. This confession had been building up in the back of my mind for some time. "I'm tired of cleaning the house all day. Besides, you need the extra help with how fast the business is growing."

He did not say anything at first. I think I might have surprised him with my request. I remembered when Albert and I went on that trip to prove to our fathers that we could start doing a man's work. I had been thinking about finding a job for awhile now, just like pa's. I always wanted to be like my pa.

"You mean quite school and start working full time?" He asked, seeming rather concerned.

I quickly tried to come up with a response. "No, not at first. I know how much it meant to ma for me to finish school. I could still go to school and work on the weekends or after school. I just feel like I need to start doing something with my life, besides sitting in classroom."

Pa was unresponsive again. I had no idea what he was thinking about or if he was even considering my proposal. Then, he looked at me.

"Andrew, this town has turned you into a real man."

I smirked. "I'm always going to be your boy, pa."

Pa started laughing again. "Just don't move too far away or get married too young, that's all I ask."

"Don't worry, pa. You're stuck with me for a few more years."

We both started laughing this time and the rest of the night was a bit of a blur for me. Pa let me have one drink too many. We started talking to the group of men sitting next to us. Talking about work, the town, childhood memories and women. I was never an expert on girls and never was one to fond over them like some other boys back in Walnut Grove did. But now that I am older, I guess I could start taking steps toward girls I am interested in.

It had gotten really late, when we started to make our way back home. From what I could remember, I was laughing the whole way. My pa had to guide me back to our place because I was stumbling while trying to walk down the street. It never occurred to me that this was how it felt to be drunk past the point of no return. When we finally got back, I fell right asleep as soon as I made contact with my bed.

The next morning, I woke up with a pounding headache and a sore stomach. I could not get out of bed or even move if I wanted to. I rubbed my eyes, then buried my face in the pillow, not being able to take the morning sunlight.

"Andy."

My pa shock me until I sat up in bed.

"What? Uh...my head."

"I'll give you a little bit. Then, I'll need your help loading the rig and we'll go over the route for the deliveries you'll take next week."

"What...?"

He laughed and went to work. I kept rubbing my forehead, not wanting to think about the work that waited for me. If this was what being a man is like, I'd go back to playing with wolves and fishing by the creek any day.