A/N: I think we need a new genre tag for Arrow – "2x13 Therapy Pieces." This is my second one and my attempt to give context to that random, kind of trashy ending in a way that doesn't make me want to punch Oliver in the face (because I already had Digg do that for me in the other story.)


Parallels

He doesn't know what to do with Felicity Smoak.

Most days, it's fine. She is the brains and heart, he and Digg are the muscle and they get the job done. She says something funny, he tries and fails not to smile, and the world keeps turning for one more night.

That she even exists in his world of false faces and constant nightmares is so bizarre that he can't even really think about it. Because, and he meant every word of it, he relies on her. He couldn't do what he did without her. Not just the technical skills, though she is in fact the most freakishly smart person he'd ever met, but the fact that she believes in him and fully expects him to be a better person than he actually is. He knows he might have crossed the line from vigilante to villain long ago if it weren't for her and Diggle.

And he needs that not to change; like he needs air.

So he does everything he can to maintain that status quo. He isn't blind, he's seen the way she looks at him, and if he ever for one second even let himself stop to think about it, he would admit he looks at her that way too. Which is why he doesn't stop, why he doesn't think .

There are moments – moments that force him to stop. Like that horrible night with the Count, when he had to watch her shaking under the hands of that psycho. The night he'd killed for her, and was forced to recognize he'd do it a thousand times over if it kept her safe. Or when she put her arms around him, or when…

Those moments are piling up. Piling up to some situation when his resolve is going to break and he will not be able to keep her away from the ticking time bomb that is Oliver Queen.

But, and he should know better than anyone, everything changes. The world is pulled out from under his feet. He has to reveal himself to Roy or risk Slade all over again. His mother turns out to be the monster he'd begun to fear that she really was, and he can't quite look his sister in the eye. And Sara….

He realizes it isn't fair to the woman she is, but when he looks at her he can't help but see the girl she was. Sara Lance - bright, blonde, bubbly, sweet, and willing to risk everything for the affection of Oliver Queen. The parallels between that girl he once knew and the lovely woman he now calls his partner grate against his fractured soul.

After all, if ever there was proof he is a time bomb, it is Sara Lance.

And it is Sara who finds him; beating imaginary demons into submission because the real ones are too hard to bear. It is Sara who looks at him with a question in her eyes. He knows that question, because he's asked it, without speaking, of everyone since his own return. "Could you still want me?"

The answer has to be yes. After all he's done to her, if she wants him, he can give her nothing less. That's the noble reason, and there are selfish ones as well. He needs someone, and this feels like the easy option.

Only later does he remember a hard lesson he should have learned long ago, the easy option is rarely the right one. Only later does he realize that atoning for the past might have cost him his future.