It felt like one big nightmare I kept reliving, kept repeating both in and out of my dreams. Everything leading up to this moment was there like a big red sign begging me to pay attention to what was in front of me. Some pivotal moments were Juliette's plane crash, Randall taking the trinket box from my desk, Carl Hockney sneaking into my office and holding a knife to my throat. Last but not least, the injuries caused by my car accident now keeping me confined to this hospital bed.

Two days ago, I was wheeled into the hospital in critical condition, with a crush injury to my pelvis and proximal femur. I spent over four hours in surgery to repair the damage to both, only to crash again during Daphne's private performance of "Make You Feel My Love". From there I was hooked up to a dialysis machine when my kidneys were failing. I was on the edge of death and no one believed I was going to survive. At one point when I saw my mother sitting there beside my hospital bed, I thought maybe they had a point and I wasn't going to live another day.

Feeling that cloud of doom that lingered over my head, only pushed that nagging voice forward as I struggled with the thought of not being here on earth anymore. I would no longer get to kiss my husband. No longer wrap my arms around Daphne and Maddie when they needed a shoulder to cry on. No more writing songs in the middle of the night. Heck, I wouldn't even be able to see this album with Deacon come to life.

So in a way, as people trickled in and out of my room, I pushed back the feeling and listened to their soul with all my heart. I learned something new about each one of them, especially Juliette, who I often struggled to find common ground with. It was hard to believe that when I first met her, she was shoplifting and getting into trouble at every turn. Now she was married, had a beautiful baby girl and was really turning her life around. I had been hoping beyond hope that I would get a glimpse of who she could become. Looks like I had gotten my wish just in the knick of time.

"Someone needs to tell Nurse Rachet to relax." Juliette unexpectedly hobbled into my room, clutching a silver gift bag in her left hand.

"Hi."

"Is this a bad time?" She carefully sat on the edge of my bed, her gaze determined and worried probably at the sight of me. I tried to laugh but it probably came out lame more than anything. I was beyond exhausted due to my injuries, the constant flow of nurses and doctors checking up on me and the million different medications running through my IV. My own bed sounded pretty darn good about now.

"Brought you something." She dangled a purple sleep mask by the strings in my direction as she pulled it out of the bag.

"Oh. That's nice. You didn't have to do that."

"Eye mask. Saved my life when I was laying where you are now. Nurses coming in every five minutes. The lights flickering." She pointed towards the lights which chose that exact time to flicker and then stop. I sure wouldn't miss these lights when I left this place, nor the constant beeping of the monitors that helped sustain my life.

"Yeah, I'm not getting a lot of sleep around here." Among other simple things, I took for granted all these years, like breathing, walking, going to the bathroom. Most of those things weren't going to happen anytime soon, and I knew Juliette could relate to that.

"Yeah. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, you know-"

"Yeah, I do know." Juliette agreed, the fear rising in the back of her mind. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking about because if it was the same thing I was thinking about, she was flashing back to the moment her life changed forever.

"Thought you were going to be off those by now." I efficiently changed the subject as I pointed out the black crutches leaning against her body.

"Oh, both you and me, girl." She joked lightly, looking down at the crutches. Something about the way she joked about it was off, which meant in Juliette's terms there was so much more to the story than she was saying.

"What's the holdup?"

"You know, I don't want to talk about me right now." She skirted my question for the time being, and I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever get the true answers to this conversation. Probably wouldn't ever get the answers, but if I did get the chance, Juliette and I would be having a deeper heart to heart with each other later on.

"But you're so much better than I am."

"I know. That's not why I'm here." And that's when I gazed at her with a look of amazement, while she tried to read the expression on my battered face.

"What?"

"You've changed."

"I have?"

"It's like when you fell out of the sky, something shook out of you." I stated profoundly, not knowing where those words had just come from, but I knew they had to be said before they couldn't be said anymore.

"About time, right?"

"Now you've got me wondering after this whole nightmare, I wonder what's going to shake out of me?" The nagging feeling returned from earlier, followed by a question of 'what if you don't live?'

"Something good." She happily stated without missing a beat. With the nagging feeling pressing me down, I couldn't help feel my heart sink at the positivity in her voice. I wished beyond stars that I could believe what she was saying was true. I wished I could believe something good could come out of this moment, but I didn't.