He sits there in the middle of the empty beach watching the sun slowly setting below the myriad of oranges and purples that makes up the horizon. He's been sitting here for almost an hour and a half now, feeling as the wind whips his blond hair about. He hasn't even bothered into changing out from the grey sweater and light blue jeans he wore to work even though Hetty had let out them early because of the case the team had just solved.
"Desperation can sometimes make a person do the most unthinkable things." The sentence has been repeated over and over in his head for the past two hours. It was the last thing he heard Petty Officer Benjamin Johnston say to him over the phone while they were in the midst of negotiating the Petty Officer into surrendering, who on the other hand decided it was a better idea to detonate a bomb inside a bus full of passengers instead.
He continues watching the scene in front of him, studying the movement of the waves across the ocean. When he hears someone sit down next to him on the sand, shaking him from his reverie; he knows who it is without even having to look and knows why she's here without having to ask. They sit there in comfortable silence listening to the crashing of the waves for a few minutes before Kensi decides to finally speak.
"It's pretty isn't it? The sunset."
He finally turns to look at her; she's still staring into the horizon, the golden glow from the sun illuminating her. He always thought she was beautiful, but now simply dressed in a red hoodie and black leggings he finds her absolutely stunning. Her hair is still up in its usual ponytail from earlier today, the chilly February winds blowing it about haphazardly. He refrains from tucking in a loose curl that had been blown free by the wind and instead returns his gaze back towards the ocean and sunset.
"Yeah, it is." he finally answers.
Again, they settle into comfortable silence and again it's Kensi who breaks the silence after another couple of minutes.
"You know it's not your fault what happened today, right? Everyone thought he was going to give himself up."
She looks at the man sitting next to her and sees that his shoulders are slumped down as if the weight of the world is on them, such a stark difference from the loud, joking and chatty partner she's used to. She watches as he turns his head away from the water to look at her; they say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and in the second when blue meets brown she can see just how damaged his soul is at this very moment.
"Then why does it feel like it is?" he whispers as if he is speaking to himself. Because right now, no matter how many times she or anyone else says it's not his fault; he thinks that maybe if he was that little bit better, that little bit smarter or even just that little bit more insistent, a man wouldn't have got the chance to take the lives of so many innocent men, women and children.
Kensi contemplates on how to answer him for a moment, his blue eyes still locked on her.
"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." she says simply.
"Ralph Waldo Emerson"
"Yeah, my father used to tell me that when I was younger every time I tried something and it went terribly wrong. He would say that I should pick myself right back up and try again even if I thought I couldn't."
"I bet he was talking about your cooking skills." Deeks jokes as a reflex, trying to defuse the serious tension as he follows his partner's lead in turning their heads back towards ocean.
"No. But you and I both know that our jobs have their risks, whether the risks be to us or someone else. We're not perfect- no one on our team is perfect. There are going to be times when we can't save them all."
"I know, but that doesn't mean I don't feel like crap whenever it happens" he answers her honestly.
"That's because you're a good person, Deeks." She can see him give a small smile from the corner of her eyes before she turns to him and continuing "You know I'm not the type of person to get all sappy and sentimental like this, but you're my partner. If you fall; I'm there to help you back up, if you feel as if you have the world on your shoulders; I'll be there to help you with the burden."
He stares at her for a minute not quite knowing what to say to such a statement.
"Thank you, for being here; for being you" he finally settles on telling her.
"It's no problem; you'd do the same thing for me"
The both sit in silence yet again watching the horizon for awhile before Deeks watches as Kensi gets up from her spot next to him, dusting the sand off her clothes and offers hand to help him up.
"Come on, it's getting late let's go home. We'll get through this, after all tomorrow is another day."
A/N: Just another one shot. Sorry if it's short. I'd just like to thank the people who read/reviewed/favourited etc my last story it was really generous of you guys. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy this one and let me know what you think.
