Author's note
Hello and welcome to the first chapter of my very first fanfic, Repentance. I really hope you enjoy it but I must admit, writing isn't exactly my strong point, no I mean it reallllllly isn't my strong point, but I have loads of ideas for fics so I thought I'd roll with one
This is a modern AU, OOC story and Ciel 18 at the stories present time
Rated M for future content
'Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep'
I started awake, groaning as I turned to hit my alarm off.
Blearily I rubbed my eyes, my room finally coming into focus, surveying my four poster bed and midnight blue walls.
Then, as with every morning, I held my breath turning my head to my door…
30 seconds, I did not allow myself to breath,
a minute, still I would not allow myself air,
at almost two minutes my vision began to cloud and I forced myself to take a large gulp of air as if I was swallowing the very air molecules in the room. To me, I was, every breath I took precious, feeding me and continuing my life. Not because I felt I deserved to live, no, the very opposite, living was my punishment, it was the result of my self-inflicted torture that I forced myself into the same morning routine of starving myself of oxygen until the point of oblivion only to snatch it away from myself at the last minute.
I turned back to the door, still nothing. Even after eight years I still held on to a vain hope that one morning I would awake to the sight of Tanaka pushing a trolley carrying a steaming teapot and buttered toast into my room, greeting me good morning as he came. I lost myself to my fantasy for a moment imaging him, gently pulling back my curtains, all the while asking me how I had slept. I would then tell him of the vivid nightmare I had had… but no, I would not allow myself to wallow in such fantasies. This was my reality and it was time for me to get up and face it.
I wrenched myself from my bed and pulled back my curtains allowing light to fall into my room. My room… even though it belonged to me, I hardly felt any connection to the place. It contained only the bare minimum and none of it chosen by myself. A grand four poster bed was the main focal point of the room, sculpted in beautiful mahogany and adored with drapes of the deepest midnight blue. The walls were coloured in a lighter shade of the same blue, yet the large windows prevented the room from being too darkly coloured. The walls were bare of any sort of decorations and indeed the only other furniture in the room was a small bed side table containing only a lamp and a large wardrobe made of the same mahogany of the bed. It was to this wardrobe that I head first, picking up the outfit I had hung on its handle the night before and heading to my ensuite to get ready for the day.
After a cold shower, I dressed myself quickly it to a pair of steel grey dress pants, a fitted lighter grey shirt, navy blue tie and waistcoat, matching the colour of my trousers. The whole ensemble was well tailored and hugged my small frame like a second skin, emphasising my finest physical features, or so I had been told. After towelling my hair off and flattening it as best as I could, I exited the bathroom to fetch a few more pieces of my ensemble. Taking a box down from my wardrobe, I rooted in it until I found my light grey eye patch, I would usually prefer to wear my plain black one but I could just imagine the fit that would ensue at breakfast if even one part of my outfit did not compliment the rest. Covering my right eye with the patch, I tied it with a neat bow behind my head. Finally I slipped on a pair of soft leather black shoes and grabbed my long grey woollen coat, praying the outfit I had put together would please all parties.
Although, even in my attempt to impress, I still did not seek out my reflection to check my appearance.
I snuck into the kitchen, where thankfully, everyone was too busy eating breakfast to notice my presence, and headed over to the counters, flicking the kettle on and popping two pieces of bread into the toaster. I places a tea bag in a mug readying it for when the kettle had boiled, realising I had run out of distractions I surveyed the people sitting around the breakfast table.
There they were, the three members of my 'adoptive family'. It was weird, I had always viewed them as close relatives, which of course they were, but ever since they had been appointed as my guardians, I had felt less like family to them and more a necessary hardship. It was clear that no one in the house wanted me here, yet I was tolerated because I had to be.
I looked at the Middleford family, my last remaining relatives and only hoped that one day that I could at least pay them back for their tolerance. I was well acquainted to Francis Middleford eyeing me with a stern expression, even as a small child, yet, even as she had berated me during my youth for my poor posture throughout my fencing lessons, she had always held me with kind eyes behind her outward hostility. Yet now she only viewed me with the utmost distain as though my very existence caused her stomach to turn. Her husband, Alexis, had always been a kind father figure throughout his childhood, if not slightly intimidating, but now he too only viewed me with contempt.
However, I could of taken the hateful looks sent my way by the pair of them, if it had not of been for the similar look that graced the beautiful face of my childhood best friend.
Elizabeth Middleford had grown up to be beautiful; there was no other way to describe her. At nineteen, she had grown out of many of her childish ways preferring to wear her golden hair down, cascading in loose curls, her eloquent facial features accentuated tastefully using makeup including her, now signature, bright red lipstick. Her navy blue dress, had a distinctive nautical theme, which I assumed must be the latest fashion, otherwise it would not of been worn by her plain and simple. She no longer abstained from heels, as she had when we were younger; instead her feet were encased in a pair of bright red paten heels. As a child, she had always hated the fact she was taller than me but now it was a whole different matter, and whilst she still had a height advantage even without her shoes, those extra inches, ensured she was always able to look down upon me.
Despite the fact that Elizabeth (I dare not refer to her as Lizzy, I had lost that right), held me in a similar regard as her parents, she was, in short, my only reason for living. The old best friend, that I had wronged so badly, was the reason I dragged myself from bed every day and the reason I allowed my existence to continue. If my death would bring her happiness, then I would not hesitate in acquiescing, but it could not. So I had vowed to myself to do everything in my power to make her happy, showering her in my loyalty, much like a dog to its master, because that was what I was. I belonged to her…
The sound of the toaster popping startled me from my train of thought, and I quickly placed the toast on a plate and finished making my tea before approaching the table. I took my usual seat, next to my Aunt, with Alexis and the head of the table to my left and Elizabeth sitting directly across from me, all the while avoiding look at the chair to her left.
The silence was interrupted by a sigh from Elizabeth,
"Ciel, for goodness sake, your hair is out of place, flatten it down, todays my big day and I won't have you ruining the photos".
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth", I murmured, quickly flattening my offending hair, "is everything else okay?"
She carefully took in my appearance before gently nodding,
"Yes, everything else is passable. I'm surprized, you've actually managed to impress me, and you even stuck to my colour choice. I do hope this is how you intend to continue".
Her words were said with a fierceness that did not reach her eyes. Although, Elizabeth had grown into a strong and powerful women, capable of ripping anyone limb from limb with words alone, I knew she still found it difficult to be harsh to me and I hope that I need not make her be.
The rest of breakfast was finished in silence and it was only until the Middleford's household staff had clear the plates away that Alexis spoke,
"Well, Ciel today is a big today, one we have all been planning for for a very long time, let's hope everything will go to plan, hey", he gave me a soft smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
I prayed it would too as I replied with a, "yes, Sir".
"Well then, we need to get going or we'll be late", came Elizabeth's response and she moved round the table to take my arm.
Taking one final look at the painfully empty chair at the table, I resolved myself and allowed Elizabeth to pull me from the room towards a future I did not deserve.
So, you made it to the end, well done you! I really hope you liked that first chapter and it got you wondering what on earth is going on!
What has Ciel done?
Why does everyone hate him?
Why is he being an angsty brat?
Why is he so concerned over a chair?
Want to know? Well then, please, please, please review. Feel free to dish out some constructive criticism, god knows I need it.
(For anyone whose wondering, I modelled Lizzy off Jayne wisener with Blair Waldorf's fashion sense, just so you know)
