Author's Note: Sorry the title is so cheesy. I couldn't think of one and then I heard the Chicago song and I thought, what the hell, that could work. But anyway, this is a collection of one-shots and drabbles of various pairings. It's just going to be any pairing I think of, probably even some crack pairings (for some reason I think Cartman's mom and Mrs. Garrison would be hilarious but I can't seem to think of a good story to put that in.) They're all random and unrelated unless otherwise stated. So I hope you enjoy! Please review!

Title: Save the Whales

Pairing: Cartman/Wendy

Age: High School

The bell signaling the end of the school day startled Wendy out of her reverie, which was strange because she was usually so attentive in class. But she had a lot on her mind today. Class elections were coming up and she still needed to find someone to run with her. The stupid administration had changed the rules so the President and Vice-President had to run as a team now. It was all very frustrating, because Wendy wasn't very good at working in teams. Other people were just so incompetent.

"I've got to go to my locker, Bebe," she said to her best friend.

"'K, see ya later," the blonde responded and they parted ways.

Wendy quickly opened her locker and began her daily struggle of trying to cram all of her books into her backpack. She was taking so many AP classes, she had a good half-dozen books she had to haul to school every day. She kept them in her locker for most of the day, but every afternoon she had to carry them back home. She was so preoccupied trying to fit in her last book – AP Psych, a particularly thick tome – into her backpack that she didn't even notice Cartman sidling up next to her locker.

"Hey, Wendy," he said, leaning against the lockers. He startled her a little and she lost her grip on her bag so all her books came spilling out.

"God dammit, Cartman," she said irritably. "What the hell do you want?" She bent to pick up her books. Cartman made no move to help her; he just stood there looking amused.

"I have a proposition for you." Wendy managed to fit all the books into her backpack and she hoisted it onto her shoulders. She stood up and looked Cartman in the eye.

"You have a proposition for me?" Her eyes narrowed. She had known Cartman since they were children, and she knew nothing good could come of anything he proposed.

"Yes, I do." He gave her a sugary smile. She crossed her arms. There was a long pause.

"Well? What is it?" Cartman seemed to take this as his cue. He clasped his hands behind his back and began pace back and forth.

"As you know, school elections are coming up. I'm sure you're planning to run." He punctuated each sentence with a pointed look at her. "I, too, am planning to run. Unfortunately I lack a person to run with." Wendy saw where this was going.

"Hell no, Cartman, I am not running with you." He seemed undaunted.

"Why not Wendy? With you as my vice-president –"

"I would be president," she interjected.

"What's that you say?"

"I would be president if we ran together. You would be the vice. Hypothetically, of course," she added quickly.

"Of course, of course." He had her right where he wanted her.

"But you know, together, we could run this school."

"I can run it without your help."

"Au contraire. You have the political savvy, but I know how to make people do what I want."

"By blackmailing them? That's hardly a skill."

"Think about it Wendy –"

"No, Cartman, it's completely ridiculous. Besides, we'd kill each other in a week."

"We could call a truce. We could combine our powers and take over the world!"

"No." Wendy gave him a flat look. "Now go away, I have to go to Environmental Warriors."

"What's that, some gay little hippie club of yours?"

"We help the environment, Eric. Now move, we're making posters about saving whales and if I'm not there, I know they're going to screw it all up." She pushed her way past him and started walking quickly down the hall.

Suddenly, he was in front of her again, blocking her way.

"What the hell Cartman? I need to go."

"You know what," he said, looking her square in the eye. "I don't think you want to save the whales."

"What?"

"You don't really care about the whales, do you? You just do things like that cuz you're supposed to. Because that's who you are – Wendy the Activist, Wendy the Politician. So that when you achieve your goals like being the first female president or some gay shit like that, you can say that you're all about saving the environment and giving to the poor. But you don't give a shit about whales or poor people. You just know that by pretending you are, people will think you're all about morals and high standards. You know that people will vote for you then." Wendy took a step back and gave him a hard look.

"You're crazy, Cartman."

"You know how to work the system to get what you want. You know how to get the kind of power you want. I do too. Together we would be unstoppable. Together we really could take over the world." Paused, waiting for her reaction. She stood there for a long minute, collecting her thoughts.

"You're so full of shit," she said finally, scowling at him. "'We could take over the world,'" she imitated his voice. "That's just cheesy. Besides, I'm not dumb. And I'm not falling for you're stupid tricks." She pushed past him again, and started storming down the hallway. He just stood there leaning against the locker, watching her go.

As she walked down the hall, her pace got slower and slower, until she finally stopped. She spun around on her heels.

"Cartman!" she yelled. He looked up. She paused, as if searching for the right words. "I'll consider it." She said it softly, as if she hoped no one would hear. He smiled at her and gave her a small nod.

"'K. Well, have fun saving the whales," he said wryly. His smile deepened. He looked very self-satisfied. Wendy half wanted to slap him. Then, he simply turned and walked away.

Wendy just stood there for a long moment.

"I'm the president!" she yelled after him.