Fan fiction Cas finds out Meg is dead, Dean is not a demon, Castiel is placed in heaven

Cas was running his hand over his angel blade in his office in heaven as Hanna entered.

"Castiel, Dean Winchester is here to see you, he says it's really important." Hanna said softly.

"Send him in" Cas said not taking his eyes off the blade.

Dean entered slowly as Cas rose to give him a hug. When they embraced Dean had a look of pain on his face.

"Cas there's something we need to talk about maybe we should sit." Dean said softly looking into Cas's eyes as they took a seat across from one another.

"Do you know what the angel blade stands for Dean?"

"Cas I'm trying to.." Dean was cut off

"The angel blade is a part of an Angel's grace with every swipe every kill, we are supposed to experience a rush of justice, honor, valor.

"Cas I didn't come here to talk about blades I came here to.." Again Dean was cut off.

"She is gone isn't she." Cas said still not making eye contact.

"who told you" Dean asked softly.

"Meg lays low, but she would never abandon me for this long I can only assume the worst." Cas answered getting up from his chair and looked out the window.

"Meg sacrificed herself to save us, all of us from Crowley." Dean said.

"I wish it didn't have to be that way, I should have stayed with her." Cas said turning around facing dean.

"That's not your fault Cas, you shouldn't blame yourself." Dean said in a comforting voice.

"Still, I wish it didn't have to be this way" Cas said.

"Meg and I butted heads all the time, I didn't care for her most of the time she was around, I can still hear her annoying raspy voice, but I will say this, she loved you Cas and that was good enough for me." Dean said honestly.

"She was a character wasn't she? I've never seen a Demon so beautiful in my life, I heard she called me her unicorn, whatever that means my forehead is not that pointy its quite flat actually." Cas said smiling feeling his forehead as if he were self-conscious.

"What are you going to do now?" Dean said eyeing him carefully.

"I have plans." Cas answered shortly.

"And those plans would be?" Dean asked.

"If I told you you would give me a speech, try to convince me not to do or go where I need to go, Dean I know you well enough to know that my answer is not good enough for you, but it is for me and you must accept this." Cas said walking over to his book case where the dvd of the pizza man was.

"You are going to go watch porn?" Dean asked surprised.

"No, although watching it makes me wonder how that night would have gone if she would have survived." Cas answered looking back at Dean.

"Well, You know where to find me and Sammy, you know we will be there whenever you need us to be Cas" He said in a gruff tone.

"I won't be back for a while Dean, you see I have some business to take care of." Cas said.

"Yeah yeah I get it Cas, you want revenge." Dean said.

"No but I would do anything to bring her back, I would go through Hell and back like I did for you to save her, I would go through purgatory a million times if I knew it would bring her back because I was her unicorn, but she was my peanut butter. You once told Sam you wish you couldn't feel a damn thing, well you were wrong because I can't and I wish I could." Cas said hanging his head as Dean placed his hand on Cas's shoulder.

"Sammy and I will make this right, Cas, I think its time to take down Crowley."

Cas nodded sadly as Dean walked away slowly. Cas whooshed to his perfect heaven as he sat on his bench by the river under his favorite tree.

"I know I haven't come here in a while, I suppose it's because I am unable to understand how I feel, I just know book references on how I'm supposed to feel. Last time I talked about things I remember, but today I want to add to that list. The day I knew I loved Meg was the same day that she disappeared. My heart feels like it is screaming inside but no one listens, not even me. I didn't know a demon would become this important to me and I feel empty without her. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if she was still around I suppose she would tell me she loves me too. I remember a lot of things, but I will never remember what it felt like to lose her. I hope I can find her one day with your help if you happen to be listening. I'm lost without her. How am I supposed to know where to go from here? How am I supposed to feel? Please just let me feel God"

All of the sudden a montage of memories he had with Meg played in his mind like a history of Megstiel.

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Strange liquid emerged on the sides of his eyes and he looked down as the drops fell on his hands confused. He looked up to the sky and said,

"Thank you God, Meg will always be, a good memory."