Author's Note

Hey there! This is the first fanfic I've ever written so feedback and comments about plot, writing style and OOC-ness are immensely appreciated! I'll be posting the songs that each chapter is written to because they have a heavy influence when I write. I don't have a solid idea of how long this story will be or the exact progression of events, but I'm super excited about what I do have lined up and I hope you enjoy!

Songs for this chapter:
Loud Like Love by Placebo
This Picture by Placebo
Ashtray Heart by Placebo
The Middle by Jimmy Eat World

((Please excuse the formatting, I'm figuring out the best way to post. Also, no beta, so feel free to point out wonky grammar/spelling))

(Story title, "Can't Stop Growing Old," is a line from the song, "This Picture," by Placebo on their album Sleeping With Ghosts. Chapter Title, "For All Of Our Youth," comes from Placebo's song, "Loud Like Love").

I own absolutely nothing. All rights belong to their respective owners.


I will never understand why people get excited for the first day of school. Summer snailed by uneventfully, but I'd rather be spending the next few weeks laying on the couch and staring at the wall than stuck in the sweat-stale air of our high school having worksheets, textbooks, and scantron tests make up my daily life.

I'd only been walking down the sidewalk with Mikasa beside me for a few minutes and I could already feel a trickle of sweat down my back and dampness under my arms.

"Hey Eren, Mikasa!" Armin trotted down the brick pathway of his house to where Mikasa and I waited for him. His face was grinning and his cheeks were pink from an hour too long in the Minnesota sun. I tugged my backpack further up on my shoulder and gave him a quick hello as he fell into stride next to me while Mikasa waved to him and smiled.

"Man, I'm so excited for this year. I mean, we're finally seniors! Aren't you two excited?" He was beaming, the words running from his mouth at high speed as he tossed his arms in the air.

"Yeah, I'm excited." Obviously not so much as he was. "I just hope this year isn't boring. If it's my last year in high school, it better kick some ass, you know?" I cocked my head sideways as we neared the entrance of Sina high school. The building was three stories tall with pillared entrances and sat toward the edge of Minneapolis where there was just enough space to nestle in a football field that doubled as the running track.

"If you want this year to be exciting, then make it exciting. Don't wait for good things to fall into your lap and maybe the highlight of your year won't be getting in a fight with Kirschtein and getting suspended." She rolled her eyes, but she knew that it was a big deal. I mean, it took Reiner, Bertl, Armin, Mikasa, Marco, and Principal Pixis to separate us, plus, at least half their class was audience to the whole ordeal. I smirked at the memory of horseface being led to the nurse's office by Marco while all the blood from his head drained out his nose.

"Listen, he deserved it for calling you a, 'hot piece of ass.'" I cringed at the phrase. "Besides, we're cool now. Unless he does something like that again, I think I have a good chance at making it through this year in good standing with Pixis."

Both of them just shook their heads at me and we wove our way through the throngs of students at the front of the building that were meeting up with friends and shouting like they hadn't seen each other in years. We finally made it to the door and once inside I was hit with the smell of too many bodies in a single place with a lack of air conditioning.

"Eren, what class do you have first?" Armin pulled a neatly folded schedule out of his pocket to check his room number. I reached into my back pocket and dug out the wrinkled paper I had crumpled up and tossed to the corner of my room when I got it in the mail. I hadn't even looked at it.

"Uhh.." I scanned the table for first period and felt my gut clench. "Damn it… math with Bossard." I groaned and rolled my neck in prep of the headache I knew I would develop before the end of my first class.

"Oh, I'm sorry man." Bossard loved to give me shit about my work and grades, so I always laughed at him when he bit his tongue mid-insult. The bastard deserved it.

"I'm gonna head to Mr. Gin's. I'll meet up with you later!" Armin waved and trotted off happily toward the science wing of the school. Mikasa yelled something about meeting in the garden during lunch then turned to me.

"Don't let Bossard get under your skin. You know he only wants to get a rise out of you." I nodded at her, knowing that she was right but resenting anyway.

"Where are you going now?" The shrill ring of the warning bell erupted in the halls and students slowly started to dismiss themselves to class.

"I have English with Ms. Ral. From what I hear, she's pleasant enough." I remember seeing her as a student teacher last year, always smiling and polite.

"Yeah, I hear she's pretty nice. You better head to class and make a good impression." I teased and her eyes narrowed as she playfully punched my shoulder.

"Try not to get in trouble." Her voice was barely a sigh.

"You don't give me nearly enough credit, Mikasa." I smiled and headed to the second floor.


I was walking from my last class when I felt a harsh slap on my back then an arm around my shoulder, tugging me inward.

"Eren! Man, it's been too long. How are you doing? Starting the year off well?" Reiner Braun was the quarterback of the varsity football team and had brought Sina High to state since his sophomore year. Despite his talent and popularity, he was friendly and kept a large group of friends, Bertholdt being his closest. After a second glance, I could see Bertl on the other side of Reiner, giving a small smile and wave.

"Hey, I'm going pretty good. And yeah, I think this is gonna be a good year." I offered him a smile. He still had a firm grip on me and pushed our way through the hall and down the steps to the first floor.

"Good to hear man!" He had a genuine smile on his face. "Listen, I'm having a party this Friday. Parents are out, it might get a little crazy, but you should come! Invite Mikasa and Armin, too!" He steered us out the front door on stopped on the green of the front lawn way from the crowd.

"Sounds really good. I'll tell them!" I'd always turned down his invites to parties, but figured that it wouldn't hurt to go.

"Hell yeah, that's the spirit!" His smile widened as he grabbed me in a headlock and gave me a noogie.

"Damn it man, you're never gonna stop that, are you?" I broke away and tried to smooth my hair with a scowl on my face.

"Nah. Started it in what, 3rd grade? I'm on a roll!" He chuckled and took a step back to look over at Bertl.

"We're gonna get going. I'll see you tomorrow!" He grabbed the sleeve of his friend's shirt and gave him a smile before they headed toward the football field.

I turned and stepped across the patchy lawn to an old tree with thick, low branches and dense leaves that gave plenty of shade. I crouched, setting my backpack on the cool grass and stretching out on my back with my head propped on the textbook filled bag. I took a deep breath of the humid air, smelling freshly cut grass and noticing how much quieter it was away from the entrance of the school. If I was going to wait for Armin and Mikasa, I was going to be comfortable. My mind wandered to nothing in particular but feeling content and relaxed when I felt a prodding foot at my side. I groaned and opened one eye to see who had the nerve to disturb me only to see a horse staring at me.

"Hey Jaeger, it's been a while." He had a cocky smile on his face and I couldn't help but scoff.

"Kirschtein, we have three classes together and you literally stared at me for at least half of one. Nice try being hot shit, though." As much as I didn't want to have a problem with him, he made it so easy to. He sputtered and struggled to think of a snarky retort but finally gave up his tough guy act with a little huff.

"Listen Eren, I know we've had some beef between us, but let's call it a truce. It's senior year, you know?" I couldn't help but feel like this wasn't half as sincere as he was making it sound.

"Man, we've known each other since 5th grade and we've had the same friends for that entire time. We can fight and cause tension for everyone or we can get along and make this year memorable."

I begrudgingly accepted the hand up he offered because maybe he did believe that, but Marco had probably just suggested he cool his fucking jets. He earned the nickname Freckled Jesus after convincing Ymir not to break someone's fingers after they'd slapped Christa's ass. Then again, when the guy got off the hook and tried to run I saw Marco trip him and apologize profusely, then turn to me and smile sweeter than candy.

Jean never let me forget that he was two inches taller than I was but when I was standing at full height and glanced up it was probably more like one inch. Maybe.

He looked at me with an almost sheepish smile on his face like he was embarrassed about being so nice to me.

"So… are you going to Reiner's on Friday?" I tried civil conversation. He cocked his head to the side a little bit.

"Yeah… are you going this year?" He put one hand on his hip and the other adjusted the backpack on his shoulder.

"Yeah. I'm going to see if Mikasa and Armin want to come with." His face softened and he blushed just the tiniest bit at the mention of my sister. I think he was over his crush on her for the most part, that his blush was out of embarrassment rather than bashfulness. I would be embarrassed too if I went to the lengths he did to get noticed by her.

"That'd be cool. How about I smoke you up that night? Ya know, chill a little before it gets wild?"

I'd never smoked before in my life, but I'd be damned if I was going to give horseface the satisfaction of treating me like a noob because of it. I wasn't against it really; the opportunity just never came up.

"Sure, that sounds good." I stuck out my hand to give him a fist bump that he happily returned with a smile.

Over his shoulder, I could see Marco walking beside Armin and Mikasa through the horde of babbling peers. I met eyes with Freckled Jesus who waved happily and jogged over to where we stood, followed by the other two.

"Eren! I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to you much earlier in class, but it's so nice to see you!" He looked between Jean and I, grinning even wider.

"It's nice to see you two together." He continued. I awkwardly shuffled my feet while Mikasa and Armin shared a look and I had to bite my tongue to keep back my snarky commenting about being friends with a short-tempered dick who peed his pants on a fieldtrip in first grade. Be quiet and polite.

"Yeah, well, we called a truce." I don't know why I said it, Marco already knew and I could feel the triumph radiating from him even being a few feet away. Armin cocked an eyebrow in disbelief.

"That's great to hear. Sorry to leave so soon, but I've got to be heading home." He was too mannerly to be friends with Jean. How the two got so close, I had no idea.

"It's cool, I'm heading out too. I'll see you guys tomorrow." My couch, Call of Duty, and a bag of Doritos sounded like heaven right about now. I gave a half wave and looked to Mikasa and Armin.

"You guys ready to leave?" They nodded, said their goodbyes, and walked beside me away from the school.

"So, you and Jean are friends?" Mikasa questioned while pulling at the frayed end of her cutoff shorts.

"Yeah, he said that he wanted it to be a good year for all of our friends and that it would be easier if we got along." The afternoon sun was even hotter than earlier and I swiped at the sweat that beaded on my forehead.

"Well, I think it's a good thing," Armin chimed in, "I think if you both could get past the fighting you would be good friends." My face scrunched up.

"That might be going a little far," I grumbled.

"Shit, I almost forgot, Reiner's having a party on Friday and he really wants you both to come. I already told him I would, so…"

I could hear the surprise in Mikasa's voice

"You really want to go?"

"You don't have to act so amazed." I shot back.

"Calm down, Eren. I'm just a little shocked, is all. I'll go with you." She gathered her hair at the back of her head and secured it with a ponytail.

"I'll go, too!" Armin beamed as we neared his place. He lived closer to the school in a quaint yellow Victorian-age house that was occupied by only him and his grandfather: a gentle, frail man that spent most of his days in the garden surrounding their home. We reached his street and called, "I'll see you two tomorrow," before walking through the white picket fence toward said grandfather to give him a little kiss on the top of his head while he kneeled before a rosebush. The older man turned and gave him a smile before brushing the dirt off his pants and taking a slow stand, probably to grab them both a welcomed drink to cool off from the heat before returning to his pruning.

Mikasa and I walked the five winding blocks to our house while I complained about Bossard and she mentioned how much she enjoyed her classes. She was easily one of the top students in our class; the kind that aced even advanced classes like they were nothing.

We'd finally reached our place and unlatched the iron gate to walk on the cobblestone pathway that led to the front door. Our house was a Victorian-era pine green and white house tucked away behind an unkempt willow tree and untamed shrubbery. The air inside was a long-awaited coolness against my too-warm skin, and I sighed heavily and collapsed on the couch in the living room that let too much sunshine in, my backpack thumping to the floor.

"I can't wait for it to cool off outside. I'm gonna die if it gets any hotter." I mumbled into the musky leather. Mikasa must've come into he living room, because her footsteps creaked across the hardwood until she was in front of me. She nudged me with her foot as if to move me over and I grumbled but sat up. She held out a glass of what looked like an Arnold Palmer, her own in her other hand.

"Thanks, Mikasa." I grabbed the chilled glass and took a long sip. She knew it was my favorite and kept a pitcher of it in the fridge at all times, just like mom did.

I felt a tug of sadness in my chest. Mikasa had been put into a children's home while she was only a few years old after her birth parents couldn't care for her anymore. My parents adopted her when she was five years old, the same age I was at the time.

Mikasa only knew my mother for two years before she passed away from breast cancer, and her world fell apart. Losing the mother she had grown to love crushed her and she spent countless nights curled up in my bed while she cried silently beside me, swallowing her sobs while I rubbed her back and whispered through my own tears, "everything will be okay. I promise."

We slowly accepted her passing, but at least once a week I caught Mikasa lost in thought while looking at the picture of our mother on the mantle. It was the first picture my dad had ever taken of her, smiling softly with daisies braided in her hair. He always said she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, that he couldn't have dreamed of marrying anyone as wonderful as she was, that he was the luckiest man in the world to have her, Mikasa and I as his family.

He was a pediatrician before her passing but changed his profession to work with experimental cancer treatments, so he spent most of his time in university medical labs working with graduate students and top doctors in the state to find a cure. We saw him during the week, but not nearly as much as we did before. Mikasa and I made dinner most nights and kept the place pretty clean, and every Sunday we made dinner with dad and ate together. While we might not be the typical family anymore, we made due with the cards we had drawn.

"Eren… Eren," She repeated my name, louder than the first and I snapped out of my haze.

"Are you okay? You were zoning out."

"Yeah, sorry. I just got distracted for a moment." I gave her a soft smile. She softened next to me and curled her legs underneath her.

"Do you want to play some video games? I could really use some food and a violent game." She agreed with a, "sure," and I padded to the kitchen to search through the pantry, returning with snacks and grabbing two Xbox controllers. I set the food between us and handed her a controller, knowing that she would kick my ass like she did every time.