He hadn't done this for so long. She hadn't contacted him after their daughter's death. His heart hurt at the funeral, not just for the loss of Elinor but at the sight of his ex-wife's devastation, the last time she'd let him hold her. For once he meant it when he held her to soothe her, feeling the echo of her sobbing through his bones. She'd pushed him away later and blocked out his voice. Blocked all contact. He couldn't pretend it didn't sting. He'd pushed her too far and in light of their grief, hadn't realise how much it finally backfired on him.
He remembered where she lived. He'd loitered around sometimes but had finally left her alone as she wanted. But he couldn't resist it after so many years. He had a sudden longing to see her again. She wasn't home. She wasn't at work. She was in the city centre on the benches outside that new posh café. And she wasn't alone. He hadn't recognised her at first. It was her shirt that had caught his eye. That orange one. She always did have gaudy taste. It was endearing. But he was unprepared by the hair. He thought she would dye her hair forever but she looked comfortable in her own skin, with a touch of tan and that silvery grey crop. She looked happy with…he recognised her. Blonde, leggy, the woman who sat next to her at the funeral. Had comforted her when he couldn't. He'd remembered Elinor saying something about Serena's bizarre Sapphic midlife crisis. He'd laughed it off. She was an insatiable flirt and liked nothing more than a pair of strong arms and hair on a chest. Had she changed that much?
He had to find out more.
'Serena. It's so nice to see you.'
She'd looked at him in confusion. Like she didn't know him. It took him a couple of seconds to realise that she was confused as to why he was there. She asked as much.
'Well I was in the area so…'
She looked displeased.
'You changed your hair. It looks good.'
'Edward, I can't say it it's nice to see you because it isn't.'
Awkward silence.
'Well I had heard that you were in yet another relationship' he tried to keep it jovial and froze at the icy glare she gave him.
'That's rich coming from you.'
He might have known she'd keep that monstrous grudge against him forever. Her companion was watching him with those piercing eyes. He'd remembered her as being kind and patient at the funeral. A thought occurred to him.
'Are you…?' He gestured between them.
'I don't see that's any of your business.'
'Are you joking? There's no way in this universe you'd turn out to be a lesbian.'
'Well if the universe was working properly I would have found out before I'd married you' she retorted.
The blonde woman quietly snorted with mirth. Edward ignored her.
'Is this your way of seeking attention?'
'No, Edward, it happened and whatever I would call myself now, it's irrelevant. If anyone could have turned me into a lesbian it should have been you but as it didn't at the time, you can't say you're the cause of it now. Typical of you to think you had any effect on me whatsoever.'
She was still bitter at the thought of him. She truly hated him. He was still surprised by that.
He turned to her companion, watching her squeeze Serena's hand out of the corner of his eye.
'I hadn't caught your name.'
'Berenice Wolfe' Serena said.
'Well it's nice to meet you again Berenice.'
She smiled faintly and said hello. He stared at her for a minute, a woman the same age as them in skinny jeans and tousled blonde hair. Her voice was low and calm. He could see the appeal of her. Her dark eyes steadily scrutinised his attention, not shying away. Serena called him back with a voice of steel.
'For the last time. Goodbye Edward.'
He smiled regretfully at Serena's tone and finally took his leave. He'd turned into an old man, she noted with surprise. Time was taking its toll on everyone, but she at least was finally happy. As happy as she could be. He had no power over her anymore. She turned to see Bernie looking at her.
'You called me Berenice' she said in surprise.
'Your friends call you Bernie. He's not your friend' Serena explained.
Bernie couldn't disagree. She leaned forward and nuzzled noses in thanks, earning a beatific smile that turned into a long languid kiss.
Across the way, Edward watched with fascination. She looked content, more so then he'd ever seen her. She'd always been an angry energetic buzz of a presence and he could bet she was still like that at work. But here was a much softer, very much happier woman. He liked it but it wasn't his to keep or watch. He'd thrown his chance away a long time ago.
