Apollon and Hermes
The way to Parnassos
Zeus rested comfortably in his chair, looking around the big hall of his palace on Olympus. There was nothing new to be seen. Every now and then a nymph passed through the room, carrying something, and he thought of courting one of them. On the other hand, it wasn't worth the trouble. The wrath of Hera would surely fall upon him, and then there was the matter of taking care of an eventual offspring. Not that he always had..
He was bored. His thoughts went to his conquests of old times, when the disguise was part of the fun. A golden rain for Danaë and a swan for Leda. He had realized she was ticklish when he embraced her with his large wings. And to feel sweet Europa riding his back in his shape of a bull. As a man he had met the wonderful Maia, who surrendered to him in a garden of flowers. That particular offspring he really liked, Hermes was a fine and useful young man. As were his twins, Artemis and Apollon. He missed Apollon. With a bump of his staff he called on Hermes, who swiftly turned up.
-I want you to fetch Apollon. I want him by my side, I'm bored.
Hermes smiled.
-I'm sure he's busy with something; business, women.. but I don't mind visiting him. I can go at once, if you like.
-That will be just fine. If you see any pretty girls on the way, give them my regards.
So Hermes made his way to Parnassus. He knew that the muses had their own mountain, Helicon, but that they also had cottages on Parnassus. He hesitated a little before climbing the path. Which of the muses would be at their houses this particular day? There was especially one he didn't want to meet. Unfortunately he had promised Terpsichore a little too much at their last meeting, and he had no intention of going through with it. But she was soft and willing when she wanted to, not the cool dancer she appeared to be. She was very flexible and could easily put a leg around his neck. But he did not want to commit himself and he hated when the women became jealous.
Walking in his thoughts, he arrived at the first cottage. Outside on the ground sat a young woman, her gold-brown hair in braids and curls around her head and dressed in a light lilac tunic. She played a twin flute and was all absorbed in the music. Hermes understood that this was Euterpe, the muse of music and flute playing and the youngest of the sisters. When she saw him she stopped playing and rose.
-Well, if it isn't the roguish Hermes? What brings you here?
She approached, swaying her hips, and touched his arm.
-I'm on my way to visit my brother. But I don't mind staying with you for a while.
-So, you want to avoid Therpsichore? She is complaining that you don't come to see her anymore. Not that I care.
She went on with her little flirtation and Hermes grabbed her by the arm.
-You are a teaser, aren't you?
He put his hand around her neck and gave her a firm kiss, and she gave in to him. After a while she drew back.
-That's all you get for now, because I'm the only sister who is still a virgin, and I intend to stay that way a little longer.
Hermes smiled.
-If you say so. But we will surely meet again and then I won't promise anything.
He went up a small hill and the path turned. On a rock, beyond her cottage, a tall woman was standing. Her long golden hair covered her shoulders and she was dressed in a long, red, sleeveless dress. She was reading from a papyrus scroll and seemed to recite different parts of a play. When she noticed Hermes she turned to face him.
-You are just in time to help me read this.
-Thalia! Are you writing your own plays nowadays?
He looked at her smiling face, her lips as red as her dress.
-I have been asked by an actor who is special to me, and I wouldn't like to let him down.
She held the scroll in front of him.
-For a little while then, to enjoy your company.
Thalia was a pleasant woman, but Hermes didn't feel attracted to her. She always wore too much make-up, and you could never know when she acted or when she showed personal feelings. After a while he said goodbye.
-Be on your way then, but beware and don't get distracted. I hear crying and lamentation not far from here.
Crying and lamentation, that could only be Melpomene. Right around the corner Hermes found her sitting on a bench just outside her hut. She was sobbing, covering her face with her palms, and her golden hair was a shining halo around her head. She looked up at him.
-Hermes! You are the very one I need! You have to console me!
She patted on the bench beside her, and he sat, hesitating a little.
-What is the trouble?
-I read Euripides' latest work and it was so sad. I just can't stop crying.
Her wet lips were close to his, and as he never could resist moist lips, he kissed her. It was more intense than he had meant it to be, but when she began touching his chest (outside his tunic) he backed off.
-I'm sorry, I don't have time anymore, I'm going to see my brother.
Cautiously he tried to pass the next cottage, which he knew belonged to Terpsichore. Just as he thought she was not in, she stood beside him.
-Are you trying to sneak off? Not on your way to see me?
He gave her a faked smile.
-Unfortunately I'm not. Zeus has sent me on a mission to Apollon.
-And you can't stay for just a while? A little kiss?
When she had kissed him he said:
-I want to cure you of this habit – I want to move on, and so should you.
-Why? You will never stop courting women. I saw you kiss Melpomene.
-Just to comfort her. I will not kiss any other woman on my way to Apollon, I promise you.
Terpsichore shrugged her shoulders.
-I don't know if I believe you. You know who lives next, don't you? Coming to think of it, I know who will be your next victim – sweet little Euterpe, whom you have already passed.
Hermes didn't answer. He knew the muse was right.
When he reached the next hut, a woman made her way out of its door. Her red hair was shining in the sun, and her blue dress hugged her body at just the right places.
-Welcome, she said. You are just in time to listen to my latest love poem.
-Erato, as beautiful as ever.
-I sincerely hope so, since I spend a lot of time making me look that way. Sit down and listen.
They sat down on the same bench, but he was sure to put a large space between them. Contrary to what Terpsichore believed, this muse did not attract him at all. She was just too much..
Erato read in a husky voice: The young woman is standing in the sunset, the wind caressing her hair and body. She sees just the scenery, not the young man looking at her… She moved closer to Hermes, and when the couple in the poem met, she put a hand on his thigh. When she moved it higher he felt his arousal.
-So you say I don't attract you? Some parts of you think otherwise.
Hastily he rose from the bench and put his hands in front of him. He cursed his body, so easily turned on.
-My body doesn't always do as I want.
-Then let me take care of it.
Hermes shook his head.
-I don't have time for that, I'm on my way to Apollon. Good luck with your poetry.
His forehead was all sweaty when he continued his walk. He hoped there would be no more temptations on the way. The next hut seemed empty. Outside the door hung a tiara glittering with stars, and he assumed this was where Urania stayed, but there was no sign of her. Perhaps she was travelling among the stars? The cottage to follow was larger than the others. In front of it, bent over a table and writing something on a piece of parchment, sat a woman. She was ladylike, her brown hair laying in waves around her face and shoulders. Hermes nodded.
-Greetings, Kalliope. Why is your house bigger than the others?
-And greetings to you, Hermes. My house is bigger because I am a mother, and our master's son also lives here. I call myself Apollon's ex-wife.
-Where is he? Orfeus I mean.
-How should I know? He takes after his father and is already chasing the girls. His lyre is lying over there, waiting for him.
Hermes said goodbye and went on, glad to soon reach the top of the hill. The next cottage belonged to Klio. He could see her inside her house, her nose buried in a scroll of papyrus. She had her hair in a bun at the back of her head, and on her nose sat two small pieces of glass, bound together. 'Spectacles' she called them. When Hermes tried to pass, she called him.
-Will you not say hello to an old woman?
He stopped.
-You're not old. But wise you surely are. If you take your hair out of that bun you would be quite beautiful.
She came out of her cottage.
-Are you flattering me, sweet boy? You know I am no threat to you, don't you? Handsome men don't attract me.
Hermes wasn't sure what she meant, so he went on. Now there was only one cottage left.
Outside her house, on a cliff facing the valley below, the last muse was standing. Polyhymnia let her rich voice fill the air. The song was grandiose, and he stopped to listen. She was tall, and her curly waist-long brown hair fell over her back and shoulders. Her long dress was mauve.
-Wonderful! Magnificent! Hermes exclaimed when she stopped.
-I'm so glad that our master's brother enjoys my singing.
She lifted her hand for him to kiss. Then she touched a strand of his ginger hair.
-You know why I have the hut next to Apollon's, don't you? That both you and he are no temptation to me?
She smiled broadly.
-You are too old. You'll see at the party tonight.
-Party? Hermes raised an eyebrow.
-Yes, tonight your brother is giving a big party. You must stay!
He had not expected that, and he continued his path in thoughts. Now he had reached the mountain top, and Apollon's palace was right in front of him. As he entered, it seemed empty. He passed several rooms and then he heard noises. There was no doubt about what kind, and he realized Apollon's bedroom was just in front of him. Through the door he saw a large bedstead, and when he got closer he spotted the couple in the bed. His brother's golden hair was easily recognizable. Except for that he just saw a well-shaped and bare bottom moving up and down. On the pillow he saw long strands of black hair, and on the bed post a glittering tiara was hanging. It was definitely Urania who paid a visit to Apollon's bed. The arousal he had felt at Erato's hut began to wake up again, and he thought of leaving the room.
Then the couple in the bed was finished and Apollon turned his head.
-I had no idea my brother was a voyeur, he said, laughing. –No doubt you wish you were me at this moment?
-No, I just arrived. I have a message for you.
Apollon rose from the bed to put on some clothes, and Hermes could see Urania lying naked on the matrass. She was very beautiful. He looked away. Apollon smiled.
-A message you say. May I ask how many of my muses you made love to on your way here?
-None! Some of them tried to tempt me, but there was only one of them I liked.
-That must have been the little virgin. Beware. What was the message?
-Our father Zeus is bored and wants you to come and visit him, at once.
Apollon turned to look at Urania, who quickly dressed and left the room.
-That's not possible. I'm having a party here tonight. You are also invited. If it will be a success I can come with you tomorrow. You may have a room and borrow some clothes if you like. I have asked all the muses to bring a guest, so there will be plenty of people.
The prospect of seeing Euterpe again made Hermes happy.
-Just out of curiosity – how many of your muses have you had yourself?
Apollon laughed.
-You would like to know, wouldn't you? Well, it's no secret. This shining little beauty is my latest conquest. Everyone knows about Kalliope, since she is the mother of my son.
-She wants to call herself your ex-wife.
-I know. I had no defense against Erato, as you may understand, but you easily get enough of her. I have always thought that the two beautiful sisters of theatre belong together, and there was plenty of room in my bed for all three of us. Even your little girl has been mine – I mean Terpsichore of course.
-She is not my little girl any more.
-No one else. Polyhymnia is too complicated for me and Klio doesn't attract me.
-Euterpe?
-No. She wants to remain a virgin a little longer, and I let her. You may court her if you like.
Apollon smiled broadly.
-You have no company for the party and she comes alone. The others are bringing one guest each and Erato brings two. But Kalliope's only company is Orfeus, so it evens itself out. As I said, my baths and kitchen are all yours if you want. Will you excuse me for now?
