Healing Wounds
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the movies Thor or The Avengers and I'm not making any money from this fic
Summary: Loki is being punished for his crimes against Asgard and the All-Father. But there has been no response from Thor - and despite his claims to hate Thor, Loki can hear the lies he tells himself
Warning(s): Spanking; violent scenes; spoilers for the two movies mentioned above; mentions of torture
Author's Note: Since I've just finished the first draft of a novel, I'm writing this story as a reward for myself. Enjoy! Also, this uses some of the mythology, which means that there's some torture ahead. Sorry about that!
I'm also not completely happy with how this turned out, but even so, I'm putting it up here.
Loki's entire world had shrunk down to pain. He couldn't even feel the individual drops of pain from the serpent set in rock above his head anymore. His entire face burned with agonising pain. He couldn't scream, because his lips had been sewn together.
There were times when the pain eased. The guards set there in the cave had been given instructions to give Loki time to reflect on his crimes and why he was being punished, so there were brief periods when the venom was caught in a bowl and Loki was given a chance to heal - at least temporarily.
All those periods of respite did was give Loki a chance to reflect on how much he hated them all. He couldn't be held here forever... and once he was free, he had every intention of taking his revenge.
But Loki was very careful not to let any of that hatred show on his face, knowing that all of his expressions would be carefully scrutinized by the guards... and probably be watched by Odin, too.
Loki continually told himself that it was Thor he hated the most. After all, it was Thor who had hurled him off the Bifrost. It was Thor who had prevented his plans from coming to fruition, along with that team of his - including that enormous green bully which had probably broken Loki's back.
And to make matters worse, Thor hadn't even bothered to speak up in Loki's defence. Not that Loki cared very much. It didn't hurt that Thor hadn't cared about his punishment. It didn't hurt at all.
The consistent pain was ebbing, slowly, and as Loki's vision began to return, he could make out the bowl being held over his head. Groaning, he leaned his head back and glared up at the serpent. When he got out of this, he would kill the serpent as well.
The chains that held Loki attached to the rocks didn't have any give in them. Trying to pull his hands free had only ended with the chains being pulled tight enough to dig into his skin and draw blood.
Just like Loki's blade sinking into Thor had drawn blood.
Scowling, Loki dragged his thoughts away from that time. He hadn't killed Thor... hadn't even seriously hurt him. And if he had, it wouldn't have been any great loss. He hated Thor. Hated him with every fibre of his being. It was Thor Loki often thought of taking his revenge on. He thought, often, about facing his brother in a fight; about tackling him to the ground; about finally... finally... seeing that pain that had darkened Thor's face for so long gone for good.
Everyone assumed Loki was a liar. The Trickster god... no one in Asgard had ever trusted him, save for Thor. Loki lied when he needed to, but there had been countless times when he'd used his ability with words to find a diplomatic solution rather than allow it to turn violent. And none of the others on Asgard had ever seen him as someone to be trusted.
Apart from Thor. Thor, who had shown affection to Loki and trusted him, unquestioningly. Bound like this, with the pain from the serpent's venom absent, Loki could remember Thor's pleading with him to come home... his insistence that they were brothers, despite how much Loki tried to convince him otherwise.
A part of Loki knew that Thor's love for him had died when he'd stabbed him. And as much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, that did hurt. Was this what Odin had intended? Not the pain, but to bind Loki away fully from Thor as a constant reminder about what he'd done to the only person who'd ever truly shown his care?
Loki desperately wanted to stop thinking like this. He wanted to let the pain come again, because that pain drove away all the thoughts - all the guilt - even if he couldn't scream.
Loki was pulled from his thoughts once more as he realised the bowl was being removed. He tensed, waiting for the pain, but none came. He heard the sound of something cracking and then a shape moved to the side, unlocking the chains around his ankles and feet. The next moment, he was gathered into someone's arms and cradled as if he were so fragile, he'd break if handled roughly.
Exhaustion overcame Loki. Even though he was desperate to look at the face of his rescuer, his head gently dropped against the person's shoulder as his eyes closed and he fell unconscious.
When Loki finally came round again, he realised there was something soft and warm covering his body. Half-afraid that this was just a dream - or a trick of some kind - he kept his eyes closed and lay stiff, silently calling his magic to him.
"I know you're awake."
Hope rushed through Loki at the sound of the familiar voice. He opened his eyes and looked up into Thor's face - and, at that moment, realised that he didn't care if this was a trick. Even the illusion of Thor's presence was better than nothing at all.
Thor looked down at Loki, that pain dark on his face. But he kept his voice mild as he spoke. "The thread keeping your lips sewn shut has been removed. You need to eat and drink. Your body is weak right now."
"I'm..." Loki wet his lips, relieved not to feel any pain. "I'm not hungry," he whispered.
"You have to eat."
"Why?"
Thor slanted his head to the side, looking confused. "What do you mean, why?"
"Either this is just a trick... an illusion... and anything I eat or drink will contain no sustenance to it or harm me. Or, if it's real, you wouldn't want to take care of me," Loki stated, keeping his voice flat and toneless.
"This isn't a trick, brother. And you need to eat to gain your strength."
"Starving won't kill me, you know. I didn't even feel hungry while I was chained up, so you can just put me back there and push me out of your mind."
"You're not going back there."
"So I'm to be executed, then?" Loki wasn't surprised.
Thor shook his head. "I convinced Father to allow me to bring you here. Giving you more pain won't do anything but fuel the flames of rage already inside you. Besides, you've been punished enough."
No matter how reasonable Thor's words were, Loki couldn't bring himself to believe them. "No. I was punished for crimes against Asgard and the All-Father. I wasn't punished for my crimes against you."
Thor nodded slowly, as if to himself. "No, you weren't," he agreed. "We'll rectify that now."
"What do you mean?" Loki asked, warily.
Instead of answering with words, Thor took a seat on the bed. Before Loki could react, Thor grasped him by the wrist and yanked him across his lap.
Loki lay still for a few moments and then began struggling. "You're not serious!" Okay, so he'd basically asked for this... but that didn't mean he planned to just lay there and take it.
"I'm very serious."
Loki tested Thor's grip on him and sighed when he realised he wasn't going anywhere. He crossed his arms on the bed and groaned quietly when he felt his leggings gently tugged down. It wasn't cold in the room, but he shivered anyway.
The first hard swat took Loki by surprise and he jerked, hissing out a breath. The next swat landed sharply on the other side, the sound echoing through the room.
As Thor's hand addressed sharp swats to Loki's bare backside, all the way down to his thighs, Loki found himself writhing and squirming across Thor's lap.
By the time Thor finished one circuit, Loki was writhing and had tears in his eyes. He could tell that Thor wasn't using anything like his full strength, but the spanking was quickly becoming painful. And then Thor started over from the top and Loki kicked his legs, unable to help it as Thor's hand scorched already sore skin.
Two sharp swats to Loki's thighs blurred his vision as the tears began to slip out. He dropped his head against his folded arms as he began to sob quietly, more from the guilt than the pain of the spanking.
Thor landed one last swat and then Loki realised he was being held in Thor's arms. Not able to resist the comfort, Loki dropped his head against Thor's shoulder and just held on tightly.
It took a long time for Loki's tears to slow and then stop, but they finally did and he just leaned against Thor's shoulder. When he finally spoke, it was in a voice that was quiet, but sincere. "I'm sorry."
"I forgave you a long time ago, brother," Thor said softly. "You've been punished and that's it. Now, you need to eat."
"Could I just not move for a while?" Loki asked, quietly, avoiding looking at Thor. He was embarrassed by his need to be close to... well, he knew he couldn't keep refusing to think of Thor as his brother. He couldn't keep lying to himself.
Thor's arms tightened around Loki. "We can stay here like this."
"How can you just forgive me?" Loki asked, quietly. "I stabbed you. I tried to kill you by dropping you out of that airship." He felt physically sick just thinking about it. "I don't understand how you can just act like it never happened."
"I love you, Loki," Thor said. "You're still my brother, no matter what happens. What binds us isn't necessarily blood, but I love you as much as if it did."
"You didn't speak up for me," Loki said, eyes downcast.
"Father forbade me from doing so during the trial. I said my piece before. There was nothing else I could do to change his mind." Thor hugged him tighter. "And I was still badly hurt."
"Saying sorry can't ever be enough."
"Maybe saying sorry can't be... but proving that you are will be. Show everyone here that freeing you was the right thing. Stop trying to destroy the worlds. I know you were angry and upset. I know you were hurting and weren't thinking clearly."
"They tortured me," Loki mumbled into Thor's shoulder.
Thor paused. "What?"
"When I first fell. I tried to resist at first. A year isn't that long to us, but it is when you're being tortured. By the time I came to Midgard, I'd been driven half-mad by what was done to me. I just didn't want to hurt anymore."
"Then that just proves you shouldn't have been hurt here."
Loki shook his head carefully. "No, I needed punishment. I was out of control and I couldn't stop myself. Even when you kept begging me to come back here... I didn't think even you could protect me from the whole army. And I was like a wounded animal, lashing out at anyone who tried to help me."
"But you're not now."
"I want to make things right."
Thor leaned back slightly on the bed, gathering Loki in closer to himself. "You need to eat and drink and rest."
Loki looked up at him. "Will you stay?" he asked, almost timidly.
Thor smiled and smoothed a gentle hand over Loki's hair. "I wouldn't be anywhere else."
The End
