A/N: Thought I'd squeeze in one more one-shot before tomorrow just to keep my rabid fans satiated. This is my first ever Xanya-centric fic. Yeah, I've written a bunch with them as a couple, but never one that was totally about them. I started writing an early version of this back in March in my notebook, and this is a total rewrite of it with the same idea. Well, maybe, now that I think about it, this could be not a one-shot. Hmm. I'll think about it when I get back from camp.
Anya's Personal Thoughts
I've never really thought of myself as the crying type.
I mean, sure, I shed some tears when Buffy died, but not really total blow-out sobs. That was always Willow's thing. I was the one that disappeared, went catatonic for a few days, and then came back to be greeted with hugs.
But now… it looks like I just came out of a huge rainstorm. If Anya were just gone, I would be able to accept it. Move on, even. But she didn't. Disappear, I mean. She left little traces all around. That was the kind of ice cream we ate that one night; that was the spoon we shared. That's where Anya and I first kissed in a public place.
This little flower-covered book that I'm holding in my hands.
As soon as I found it under Anya's bed, I knew that it was her diary. I could feel her in it. I knew that her spirit existed within the pages; that he unrestrained sarcasm and truth was embedded there.
I can't take it anymore. I throw open the cover, reading the little title that she wrote on the first page. It's surrounded by little flowers and hearts and it reads, "The Diary of Anya Christina Emmanuella [future] Harris."
Dear Diary,
It's weird, isn't it? I had to get a new diary the day after I got engaged. I had my other one in my jacket pocket and it kind of got shredded. It's pretty disappointing. I wanted to keep it to show my fat grandchildren when they're standing around my deathbed. Xander will probably have read it already by then, though, because I want him to know everything about me. Actually, Xander won't be standing by my deathbed. Probably. Women tend to live longer than men. So Xander will already have died of a disease or of old age. If he dies of old age, I'll have to have his face fixed up for him so that he doesn't have wrinkles forever when he's in his coffin.
Oh, yeah, and Buffy also died yesterday. I forgot about that. But it's not like I have to remember, since we've already decided to bring her back. So now we just have to take care of Dawn, Giles, and Spike since they're not in on it. Mostly Spike. Dawn's dealing. She should be. She was the one that got to be with Buffy for her last few moments. She heard her final words. None of the rest of us did. Dawn told us what she said, but we can never be sure what she's omitting or making up, since she's known to be a liar.
Xander laughed. Anya.
So, anyway, my ring is gorgeous. I can't wait until I can show it off to everyone else. They're going to be so jealous. Especially Buffy, since she can't keep a steady boyfriend for longer than a year and a half. I should call Cordelia and brag about it to her, too. Just make up something else to talk to her about and then mention it in passing. Like, "Oh, yeah, the… um… chupacabras are taking over the world. And by the way, Xander and I got engaged!"
Well, that's all I have to say for now.
Toodles,
Anya J
