This kinda came to me last night. So here goes nothing. Hope you like it. This assumes the season finale didn't happen. Also British people please don't be mad at me. I taking all a know from TV. If you are British, I apologize ahead of time for the British character dialogue also everyone please read Christy's character with a British accent because lets face it, its cool. Also this is lot of fluff and I don't own anyone because a) that's illegal and immoral and b) Kensi and Deeks would be like 90% of NCISLA.
She doesn't know how it happened but somewhere along the way she had fallen in love with him. The terrible part is that she thinks that he might be in love with her too. While Kensi Marie Blye was a sucker for anything romantic, she had made her peace that her life was more like a tragedy, one of those angsty films where everyone dies and you are just left rocking yourself in a corner. But then it happened. One night after a long day of kicking ass and taking names. The two partners sat on her couch drinking beers laughing at something stupid on TV. Blame on exhaustion, blame it on the beers, blame it on the years of sexual tension but there came a moment of sincerity and honesty between the two partners that they seldom let through because they both were terrified of what might happen.
"Hey, thanks for having my back today partner"
"Hey, always"
Deeks looked at her and somehow just with his eyes he tried to tell her how much she meant to him. She meant so much to him that he was afraid to even say it because everything good in his life somehow always got destroyed. He closed the distance between them.
"Kens-..."
"Deeks, are you okay?Why are you staring at m-"
Before she could finish her sentence and before he lost the courage. He kissed her. He kissed her trying to convey everything he felt for her. Pleading and begging the universe to let him have this one good, this one really great thing. She kissed him back and while at first it was kind of sweet and tender, it began to speed up and she could have sworn that she was on fire. He pulled her closer trying some how to meld their bodies together. She doesn't know how she managed to pull away but still holding on to his shirt looking at the third button from the top. She whispered.
"We can't"
"Kensi, we can go as fast or slow as you want. No pressure"
She smiled a little to herself because of course, his mind was there and about 30 seconds ago hers was too.
"No, I mean we can't do any of this Deeks. We are partners. You are my best friend. You are the only person I trust." She had tears welling in her eyes. She couldn't help it. The thought of loosing him even if it was to herself and her complete dysfunction. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she ruined the best thing in her life.
"I can't ruin this. I can't loose you to sex"
"What if I promise it would be the best sex of your life?"
"Deeks!"
"Kensi, You mean too much to me to loose over sex. As mind blowing as it might be". He pushed a stran of hair behind her ear.
"Deeks, I think you should go." She was about to cry and she didn't want him anywhere around.
"Kensi, I don't have any of the answers but we can work through this. Whatever this is. We deserve to give it a shot"
He was so close to her and she could feel his breath and for moment so thought maybe he was right.
"I can't. I am sorry" She couldn't even look at him because if she did she would kiss him until she forgot all the thoughts swirling through her mind.
"Kensi, are you sure? I am not strong enough to keep holding on to you if you don't want me"
Want him of course I want you! I love you. You stupid man.
"Let it go. It is the best thing for both of us"
***************************** 2 months later********************************************* *******************************
They had almost lost all the awkwardness between them. After all they were partners and still the best thing in each others lives. The jokes were the same. The laughter was the same even some of the banter was the same but it was never really the same. There was always a hint of sadness between them.
"Deeks, is it just me or have you been seeing someone?"
Taken off guard. Everyone looks at him but he only feels her eyes on him.
"What makes you say that?" He tries to laugh it off.
"Oh I don't know. You are skipping out on drinks after work. You always have seen the newest movies. You are always running a little late but no sand in the mornings kinda like you aren't coming from your place. Just powers of observation brother"
"Umm, well actually. I have and I am kinda of touched that you noticed, Callen"
"Well, it wasn't all me" Callen said looking at Kensi.
"Her name is Christy and she is from England. We have been dating for a couple of weeks" He looked down the entire time. Somehow ashamed because he felt like he was betraying her somehow.
Sensing his discomfort. Kensi tried breaking the ice.
"Well its about time you ditched the exotic dancers and tatoo models. Christy sounds nice"
That night Kensi went home and ate her feelings like she always does. She hoped rocky road would numb her pain some how. But this is what she wanted right? This is what she asked him for.
****************************** 2 months later ************************************************** **
"Deeks stop complaining" Sam yelled across the gym
"What is my sensitive partner complaining about this time?"
"Oh moving a couple of boxes around. Now all of a sudden he is too sore to train"
"First of all, I would like you to know that it was more than a couple of boxes and second I have existing back problems. I see a chiropractor"
"I don't think that masseuse you were dating counts as a chiropractor"
"Haha. Laugh at my pain everyone. Its fine. I will just go hit the showers"
"Why was he moving boxes"
"Ohh, he didn't tell you. Christy is moving in. Apparently, its serious."
"Oh, yeah I forgot it was this weekend. I thought it was next" Kensi tried to hide her embarrassment and pain.
"I think I am going to get some shooting in. See ya guys in a bit"
She must have shot a hundred rounds. She was going to have to let him go. He deserved to be happy. She wanted that for him.
Kensi heard little feet coming up behind her.
"You know its not nice to sneak up on people"
"Yeah well I just want to make sure you were ok"
"Yep, why wouldn't I be okay?"
"Well if you want to get a drink after work and talk. I am free"
Kensi sighed as she reloaded her clip
"Thanks, Nell. I would really like that"
After about 3 cosmos, 5 shots ,some serious dancing and one almost bar fight. Kensi was ready to go home.
Nell went along with it because she saw the hurt in her friends eyes. She knew she loved him but she didn't understand why she didn't fight for him. Kensi Blye was a fighter. Maybe alcohol induced but her dear friend was smiling, dancing, being silly and looked happy. She needed that. Unfortunately, it turned into streams of tears before reaching her bed. Nell tucked her in and whispered in her ear.
"He loves you too"
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••
It was at the house warming party where everyone got to meet Christy. As much as Kensi wanted to hate her, she wasn't that bad. You really can't hate anyone with a British accent. Everything sounds so proper and proper she was. Christy was the kind of girl that didn't leave the house with make up. Her shortest heels were 3 inches and she had every hair in perfect place.
Christy wasn't the first person to notice it because everyone saw it but the way Kensi and Deeks talked to one another like they were the only ones in the room made her feel uneasy.
"Kensi, love. I have this friend from work, Colin. He is a handsome one. I think you two would really hit it off."
"Honey, I don't think that Colin is really Kensi's type"
"Marty, he is hot. He is bloody every girls' type"
Kensi couldn't help but laugh. Christy had spunk and it made her like her even more. Damn her!
"Let me introduce you. Ohh maybe we could even double?"
Both Kensi and Deeks responded with a "No" immediately
"I mean no one double dates in the states. That is so not cool" plus Kensi was a good actress in her line of work you had to be. She didn't think she could pretend to out of love with Deeks and like some random guy. That might be some Oscar nominated kind of acting that she just didn't have in her.
"How about you introduce me now? and we will see if we hit it off. We can go from there"
"Brilliant!"
Kensi turned to look at Deeks with a look of I might not be able to kill her but I will kill you out of association.
He only could only put his hands in the air and laugh a little. Plus Kensi doesn't date well. Right?! I mean pff its Kensi. Maybe he should go and check on her and hottie McColin just to make sure she was alright.
"Don't you dare go bother them Marty!"
"Whhaa- what... meee? I was just going to get another beer."
"Look at them. They are laughing already. Its divine! Maybe I should be a matchmaker."
"I think its a little too early to quit your day job just yet but she does look happy" It pained him how happy she looked and dammit Colin was hot. He was tall blond, clean cut, but rugged. He was right he did need another beer.
******************************** Almost a year later **********************************************
Everyone had settled into their roles. Deeks with Christy and although Colin long ago had moved into the friend zone much to Deeks relief. He still made his occasional appearance and attempt to win over Kensi. It was like they were all playing a role but for who?
"Kens, I have to ask you something"
"Deeks if the word threesome is in your question than just don't even bother asking"
"No, this a little more serious"
"Deeks...out with it"
"Sorry I was distracted with the threesome thing"
"Ugg...seriously. What?"
"Would you be my best man? best woman?"
"Whaa..wooahh. Does that mean you are-. Did you already prop-?"
"No. I haven't asked her yet. I was hoping you could help me pick out the ring. Since you know you have fingers, girl fingers? Unless that would be you know weird and then I understand"
"Nope. I would be honored to be your best woman"
"I couldn't imagine standing up there with anyone else but you" He looked at her and everything stopped.
"I mean with you next to me obviously not like just you cause that would mean that it would be you and me, you know...and.."
"Deeks you are ruining the moment. Lets go blow some of your money on diamonds"
"Welcome, you two are such a lovely couple. Let me guess. This lucky man wants to marry this lovely lady"
They looked at one another and decided to play along. What could it hurt?
"Yes, but I am the lucky one. I couldn't imagine my life without him"
Aww well let me show you a couple of rings. The jeweler pulled out a couple of trays of rings.
"Sugarbear, which ones do you like"
Kensi did her best to think like a girl. A girl who wears make up. A girl whose blow dryer doesn't collect dust. A girl who owned pumps. A girl who was gonna marry Deeks, her Deeks.
"What about this one?" Kensi pulled out a sparkly ring a little gauty for her taste but something she could see Christy in.
They pulled out a couple more rings laughed at the ridiculous pet names they kept coming up with. The last even more outrageous than the one before trying to one up another. Then Deeks pulled out a simple 1.5 ct solitaire. It sat on a four prong platinum band. It was way more Kensi. It was gorgeous just like her. It was jeans and a tshirt simple. He picked it up and put it on her finger. Before she could protest, it was on her finger and god it felt good.
"Are you sure?" She looked at him questioning his choice of engagement rings.
"Can you give me a reason not to?" Maybe he was still talking about ring but maybe he wasn't.
"I think its beautiful"
"I think we got it then"
"Perfect, if you come with me Mr. Deeks. I'll check you out"
While Deeks was paying, Kensi just looked at him thinking to herself. She had a thousand reasons for him not to marry Christy but he deserved so much more than a broken girl with more problems than answers.
"You really love her huh?" the clerk asked Deeks
"Is it that obvious?"
"I see a lot of couples come in here and trust me true love is always obvious."
"Yeah, she is the best thing in my life" The weight and truth of his words hit him like a ton of bricks. She was the best thing in his life.
"Come on love muffin lets go celebrate"
She grabbed his hand and led him out the door.
"Drinks on me. After all I am the best woman"
They went for food and drinks. He made her laugh like no one else could and she made him laugh like only she could. After a pitcher of margaritas and a couple of coronas, they hopped in cab.
"Remember when you kicked those Frenchies in the south of France"
"Remember, you will never let me forget. I had a gut feeling Deeks!"
"Haha. Do you always go with your gut feelings"
There was no more laughing and it seemed like the whole world stopped for a moment. She looked at his baby blues.
"No, not always" Maybe it was the margaritas but she just wanted to kiss him until they couldn't breathe.
He closed the distance between them and maybe it was the margaritas but all he wanted to do is kiss her, the rest be damned.
"Your first stop. It will be $25.50" the cab driver yelled not even turning around.
"I better go. Let me know how it goes this weekend okay?" She was about to get out of the car when she turned around grabbed his face. Staring right at him
"Deeks, you deserve this. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy" She tenderly kissed his cheek. It was slow and sweet. He could have sworn he felt a tear drop but she ran out and he couldn't find the words to keep her with him longer.
Saturday night rolled around and a mass text went out to the gang.
"She said yes"
A roll of congrats came pouring including one from Kensi.
***********************************Rehersal******* **************************
They were all there. Callen, Sam, Nell, Eric, Nate, God.
"Sorry father, I guess Christy is running late."
"Well, Why don't we have some one stand in for her so we can get started. I must get ready for mass tonight"
"Sure thing, father"
"Nell, would you mind.."
"Me, nope I got the readings. I am really nervous about speaking in public so this will be good practice. Nope sorry. I know how about Kensi stand in?" Nell almost pushed Kensi down the small set of stairs on the altar.
"uhh me...no"
"Perfect, just stand over here Kensi is it?"
"Yes, father"
Kensi turned back around to look at her petite friend with a scowl. As she passed her by she whispered "Liar, we are in the house of God!"
Nell just smiled to herself never quite looking up from the piece of paper that she was pretending to read intently.
"Okay since we are in a bit of a time crunch lets just hit the high points"
"The bride will come up the aisle. The wedding parties will follow standing behind the bride and groom. I will welcome everyone. We will have our readings. Then the vows. So Marty repeat after me: I Marty Deeks. Take you Christy to be my wife"
"I Marty Deeks take you Kensi to be my wife"
"Ehhmmm" the priest laughed and said "well lets hope you get her name right tomorrow"
Shyly he looked down "yea, lets hope I do"
Just then someone came in the back of the church.
"Marty Deeks, Kensi Blye"
"Yes, we are Marty Deeks and Kensi Blye"
I have a mail delivery for you.
"Hmm, that is weird"
Marty opened the package looking back at Kensi with confusion.
"Its a note from Christy"
"Well, go on read it"
Dear Marty and Kensi,
I don't know if this is Yank thing but you two are so bloody stubborn. You almost got married to me. You idiot! Marty I know you wanted to love me and I did truly want to love you. Maybe that is why I went along with this for so long. After you proposed, I sat looking at my ring and it dawned on me that this ring wasn't me at all. The ring was bought having some else in mind. I hope to one day find someone that looks at me the way you do her. Please give this ring to the rightful owner.
PS: Colin and I are enjoying "our honeymoon" in Hawaii. As it turns out, hot is everybody's type and I couldn't let you have all the fun, now could I?
"Hallelujah" Sam called out and Nell quickly followed.
"Oh, My God. Oh sorry father. I thought I was going to have to say something during the wedding."
"Wait, you guys RSVPd and you were going to break up my wedding"
Callen put his hand on Deeks shoulder and said "It was for your own good man. Now who needs a beer?"
Everyone cheered and quickly followed him out.
Kensi and Deeks just sat in the back of the church. Each one almost said something several times but each time no words came out.
"I told you to let it go because you deserve someone who can tell you I love you everyday without worrying if she just cursed you. You deserve someone who can talk about her feelings and not just give you a box. You deserve someone who can make you breakfast in the morning. You deserve someone not broken, Deeks"
"I never let you go. I don't think I can"
"Yeah, I know the feeling. So what now?"
"I think this is the part of the movie where we live happily ever after"
"Shut up, Deeks. I am being serious"
"I love you Kensi Marie Blye. I love you. You are best part of my day. Your love is a blessing and I will eat burned toast for breakfast everyday so lets be broken together"
She looked into his eyes and for the first time in a long time she felt relief.
She leaned into him and kissed him. They just sat there for a minute. Forehead to forehead breathing each other in.
"Ehhhmmmmmm. I hate to ruin this moment but my parishioners should be coming in any moment"
"Ohh, yes sorry father. We were just leaving"
"Where to now?"
"I don't know but all that talk about breakfast made me hungry"
"Pancakes?"
"Pancakes"
