Stirb Nicht Vor Mir
Stirb Nicht Vor Mir (Don't Die Before I), is a song written and composed by Rammstein. In my opinion, it's about two people who are dreaming about their true love who they haven't met yet. I translated Stirb Nicht Vor Mir to Danish and Dutch because it will be a Denmark/Belgium fanfic.
Authors Note: Thank you Belgio and Mi3staR for the constructive criticism. I decided to add more detail in the story. Plus it was a nice time to keep my mind off of homework. I think in all honesty it's much better now and it isn't as rushed through. It also gives a little bit more background detail into Belgium's past. I hope everyone likes this one-shot.
Belgium- Alice België
Denmark- Mathias Kohler
Alice sat in her dim lit leaving room. The only light filling the room was her lamp. She pushed up her glasses and flipped a page in a novel she was reading. She looked up taking off her reading glasses rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes.
"Why am taking Philosophy Plato's The Republic is killing me," She muttered under her breathe. Looking back down at the book glaring at the boredom it induces. She put her glasses back on and started reading. After another thirty minutes Alice's eyes slowly started to close and then she fell into a deep sleep.
She opened her eyes in a white waste land. Everything was white, there wasn't even a sky. She tried talking, but nothing came. It was like her vocal cords stopped working. A fear inside her bubbled up and the past came back to haunt her. She decided to start walking to keep those memories at bay and to explore the nothingness. After what seemed like hours still nothing she was alone. She didn't like feeling and being alone. It was always disconcerting to her especially with the friends and family she has. They were lively and happy except her brother he just liked sitting around smoking pot. She sat down on the white ground, crossing her legs Indian style and crossing her arms. Alice started looking at anything that seemed off. She would even try and move her head an odd angel to see something . At first she couldn't find anything.
She then noticed something at a distance it was a small black dot. The dot got bigger as it was getting closer. Alice saw details on this dot it had red and black. The speed of the dot got quicker and she saw more. It was a male. He was wearing a red and black suit, black dress shoes, and spiky light blonde hair. After another few minutes he was only a mere few feet away from her. He finally stopped running not even having to catch his breath. She watched him open his mouth trying to talk to her. His light blue eyes grew wide. He grabbed his neck trying to speak, but nothing happened. He looked down at her showing her his trade mark smile. Alice had to admit the young man was quiet handsome up close.
He sat down next to Alice on the left. The young man turned to her smiling. Alice returned the smile with her own soft kind smile. She deeply wished she could communicate with him. He seemed like the kind of guy that she could get along with. They sat in silence looking at their blank surroundings. They both quickly got bored and started analyzing each other. Alice guessed that he was around the same age as she maybe a little older. She noticed his eyes growing wide. Alice was curious as to why. She looked down realizing she was fading slowly. She could hear beeping in the background as she was fading.
Her eyes shot open looking around her sunlight filled living room. The living room was painted a light yellow that welcomed the winter sun light in. The room had pictures hanging on the walls of friends and family near the door way that leads to the hallway. There was a white wool blend couch and love seat. Alice looked down at her simple designed square mahogany coffee table and noticed her cellphone was going off. She got up off her white wool blend recliner, picking her cellphone up, turning her alarm clock app off. She ran her fingers through her hair.
"What an odd dream I had," She muttered walking into the hallway going towards her bedroom.
His eyes shot opened lifting his head off the closed laptop. He started rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes with his right hand. He slid his chair back standing up and raising his arms to stretch. The sun was shining in through the windows off to the left. The windows were 76.2 cm high X 66 cm wide. The kitchen was painted a light grey, black and red tile, dark red kitchen cabinets, and black kitchen appliances.
"Mathias, god Morgon bror (Good Morning brother). It seems you fell asleep on your job again," Berwald stated walking into the kitchen. Mathias turned around nodding at his younger brother.
"Yeah, I have been pretty busy at work lately. My boss keeps on throwing crap at me. Thinking I am the only one that can do it right. I'm just glad he gave me a day off to finish it," Mathias paused talking looking off to the side, "Hey, bror…..I had an odd dream. I dreamed I was in a blank void of white. So I'm walking and walking forever. I finally come across this young woman about the same age as me maybe a little younger. She had light blonde hair, leaf green eyes, soft cat like smile, skinny, but not too skinny and she was wearing open boot blue jeans, baggy white shirt, and socks. It was odd, I felt like there was a connection between us." Berwald sat down cupping his chin thinking it over.
"It could just be a dream….. remember not all dreams have meanings," Berwald said leaning back in his chair. Mathias nodded opening up his laptop.
"Yeah, just a dream," He whispers to himself.
That night Alice found herself in the dream land again, but it was different. The sun was shining and her bare feet were buried in the warm sand. She looked up and saw the young German man Alice use to date. The young German man had blonde hair comb back, crystal blue eyes, very muscular, tall about 6,11 and he was wearing blue swimming trunks. The younger Alice was wearing a light green one piece bathing suit. The two were a lone just like when it happened. She grimaced, Alice knew what was about to happen. The young German and she ran out of the water hand in hand laughing. The two teenagers stopped a mare four feet away from her. The two started kissing softly and then the young man made it deeper. The younger Alice pushed him away saying no. He grabbed young Alice's wrist glaring at her. Alice tired slapping him, but he grabbed her other wrist. The older Alice started crying and went onto her knees. She covered her face not being able to watch what was happening.
Alice felt strong arms wrap around her from behind. She opened her eyes and saw the scenery fade into the white never ending abyss. Her body slowly stopped shaking and horror of the past started subsiding. The strong arms never let go and just held onto her. Alice's body finally stopped shaking and her tears stopped falling. The strong arms finally let go and Alice turned around seeing the same man from the other dream. He raised his hand and wiped tears from her cheek. Alice felt soothed with his soft caresses on her cheek. Alice looked into his blue eyes. She could see right into him, there was a mixture of emotions in his eyes, sadness; anger for what that young man did to her, and empathy. She looked away from his eyes and saw he was wearing a black hoodie, with an insignia of a white lion on it and red sweat pants.
For what seemed like hours they sat in the abyss of whiteness. The man sat back holding onto her while she looked off into the distance. Alice wanted to throw up for seeing her past. She wanted to keep those memories at bay. Yet, lately she started getting depressed for long periods of time and Doctor Sadiq brought up past experiences. She looked down at her body and noticed she was slowly fading again.
Her eyes slowly opened to her darkened bedroom. She rolled onto her stomach and turned on her lamp that was on her small bedside dresser. The light comes on and she hits the snooze button and sat up in bed. A few moments later Alice swings her legs over her bed and plants her feet on the soft carpeted flooring. Alice gets up and groggily walks into her bathroom. She flips the light switch and the lights come on. She turns to her mirror looking into it. Alice noticed her skin was paler than normal. She ran her fingers through her hair; it was sweaty and sticky from having that nightmare. Alice takes a deep sigh and turns around to her shower. She opens the shower door turning the hot water nob first and then turns around letting the water warm up. Alice strips her cat pajamas off and then turns around turning the cold water nob. She enters the shower letting the lukewarm water soothe her muscles and thoughts of her past.
"Why does the past have to haunt me like a ghost? Damn sleep and damn those dreams…..I will always be haunted with the past. I hope Doctor Sadiq can actually help me because I feel like a lost soul that needs to be found," She mutters under her breathe.
Five hours later Alice sat in Doctor Sadiq's office. On her right there were two book shelves full of books on psychology. She always thought the books were there to reassure people that he was a well-educated psychologist or they were used for him to check if he was right on his diagnoses. Alice looked at his desk and saw Sadiq's doctorate degree flashing at her. She heard the door open and Doctor Sadiq entered his office. Doctor Sadiq sat down in his flush leather seat and leaned forward onto his wooden desk. Alice had to admit Doctor Sadiq was handsome. Doctor Sadiq had a square jaw line, dark brown hair, brown eyes, stubbles on his face, and he was tall. Sadiq was also wearing a black and white suit and black pointed shoes.
"How is Alice doing today" He inquired looking at her with analytical brown eyes. Alice bites her lip and leaned back in the black leather seat. She closed her eyes thinking.
"I should tell him, if I do not, I cannot get any help. I might as well go through with it," She thought to herself. She opened her leaf green eyes and leaned forward.
"I had another dream….about my rape, but this time it was different. It was like I my present self was watching…while as my younger self…was….getting taken advantage of…but then I felt strong arms embracing me. It was a man about the same age as me. He was tall, blonde spikey hair, light blue eyes, and handsome. The past faded away and we sat in this never ending white abyss. It was, so odd, but at the same time it felt nice," She informed Doctor Sadiq.
Doctor Sadiq sat back into his leather chair. He cupped his chin and started rubbing his stubbles.
"I see. I want you described what you have been experiencing lately after your rape when you were a teenager? He asked leaning forward again.
Mathias sat in his comfy wool blend computer chair throwing sharpened pencil into the ceiling. Every pencil he threw up hit the ceiling and stuck to it. He smiled to himself about how awesome that was. He heard a knocking on his office door. Mathias sat up straight and put his extra pencils away. His English boss from England came in grinning like the chest shire cat. His bushy eye browed boss was wearing a black and green suit with pointed shoes. Mathias boss pulled a chair forward from the corner sitting down on the other side of the desk.
"Good job Mathias, I knew you could do it. Kiku is actually going forward with the product. Governments would want their hands on it, so they can see what people are thinking of….or dreaming of. You are a genius Kohler, I am glad you are on my team," His boss said standing back up giving him the thumbs up. Once the door was closed Mathias got up and turned towards his window on looking a red brick building across the street.
"I am an idiot for thinking that. That machine will cause more problems than good. I think I know what people will start calling it The Copenhagen Syndrome" He mutters under his breathe, "I wonder how that woman is doing in my dream….she was…..poor woman no one deserves that especially someone as innocent as she
Days, weeks, and months went by. Mathias and Alice always went back to the same dream world. They always tried communicating in their dreams. Somehow every time they tried it failed. Even though they couldn't communicate their emotional connection became deeper and stronger. Because, whenever one had a nightmare the other would be there to comfort the other. They knew a little bit about their past, but not enough to find out who they really are.
Alice had a feeling she needed to talk. She turned her head to look at Mathias in the eyes.
"I think this will be the last time I dream of you," She said. Alice covered her mouth in shock. She didn't understand why she said that. Mathias looked away running his hand through his hair. She looked down and saw herself fading away.
"Don't leave me whoever you are. I love you and I don't even know who you are," He said reaching out and grabbing her right arm.
"My name is Alice België and I'm from Brussels," She said completely fading away from him.
"Må ikke dø, før jeg (Do not die before I)," He muttered to himself.
Mathias shot out of bed literally taking a leap of faith towards his bedroom door. He landed on the soft carpet and turned the cold doorknob pulling the door open. He runs into the kitchen flipping the switch and the lights turn on. He then goes onto his laptop looking up the nearest flight to Brussels, Belgium. His brothers came in the kitchen giving him odd looks.
"What is going?" Berwald inquired giving his older brother a skeptical look.
Mathias looked over his shoulder at his brothers. All his younger brothers looked disheveled and groggy. They all were wearing different colored sweat pants and t-shirt. All them started stretching and yawning. His second youngest brother glared at him with his dark blue eyes. While the others looked him with an odd expression he could not describe.
"I'm going to Belgium….I just have to, there is someone waiting for me. It's hard to explain, so just go back to bed all of you," He stated looking back at the computer screen.
Berwald looked over at the younger men. The younger brothers nodded and went back to their bedrooms. Berwald walked up to the table and pulled out a chair sitting down next to his brother.
"It's the dream again?" He asked analyzing his older brother. Mathias looked over at Berwald. He ran his right hand through his spiky blonde hair.
"Yes, before you say anything. Just hear me out Waldo. She is real….I know it. A part of me knows she is. I love her….without knowing Alice," Mathias explained looking right into his younger brother's light green eyes. Berwald sat back a little studying his brothers' eyes.
"Fine…..I trust you…just don't be stupid," Berwald said standing up pulling his dark blue sweat pants down a little to get convertible. He pushed the chair that he was sitting in back, "Please brother do not act like a maniac looking for this woman." Berwald walked out of the kitchen leaving his older brother alone.
Alice sat up in her bed breathing heavy. She touched her forehead and felt how sweaty it was. Alice got out of bed walking to the bathroom connected to her room. She flipped the switch and entered her bathroom. She took a few steps into the bathroom turning right and stopping. She looked in the mirror seeing how deathly pale she was.
"Is it a dream, nightmare, or real? I don't know what to think…but when he said he loved me. Something inside me knew and I love him back," She said to herself. She got out of the bathroom and walked to her bed side dresser. Alice picked up her cellphone dialing a number. She let it ring a few times, when a familiar voice answered it.
"Hallo (Hello)," the deep male voice said on the other line. Alice leaned forward a bit.
"Is Elizaveta there?" Alice asked with a shaky voice.
"Ja (yes), she is here Alice. Just a minute I need to wake her up," He replied waking up Elizaveta.
"Thank you Gilbert," She said softly into the phone.
"Ja, ja, no problem. I owe you a lot any way," Gilbert replied. Alice smiled at his reply and sat back a little.
"What's wrong Alice?" Elizaveta inquired with worry lacing her voice.
"…..Nothing is wrong Elizaveta, I've been having these dreams for about six months now. Every day, when I go to sleep I dream of him. Even though I don't know who he is, but in my dreams he is there. He holds me and he shows me he cares. There is this connection between us and I have not been physically near him," She explained to her close friend. There was silence on the other line.
"Alice, Gilbert and I are going to fly out. We will stay with you for a few days and you can tell the whole story. Have you been seeing Dr. Sadiq about your depression?" Elizaveta asked. Alice quickly stood up and started pacing.
"Dr. Sadiq said that I do not need to see him anymore and that was two weeks ago. I took anti-depressants and talked about my past about what Ludwig did to me. I'm fine now, it's just those dreams….they feel so real," Alice explained getting frustrated at her close friend, "I'm going to let go….I guess I will see you guys later.
Mathias stood up from his unconvertible airplane seat. He turned around and opened up the overhead compartment. He took out his red and black backpack. He was slowly walking through the aisle. Mathias watched as people were taking their baggage down. After two minutes he stepped off the plane and enters the gate. Mathias started walking in the gate. The airport was busy like any normal airport should be. Yet, the colors grey and blue seemed boring. He watched as children started racing because of pent up energy and the parents chasing after those children. He exits the gate and enters the terminal. He starts walking through the terminal the same colors on the wall as before. Mathias watched people hurrying to the metal detector. He went into deep thought about his situation.
"I could look for her on facebook…..but then I would feel like a creeper…..maybe go around asking people….No that wouldn't work either because they would look at me oddly and think that I am mad. Great I should have planned this out better beforehand.
Alice stood near the baggage claim holding a sign up. She was waiting for her best friend Elizaveta and Gilbert Elizabeta's husband. To show up, it was four days after the last dream. She had of the handsome man. She spotted white hair with in the crowed. The crowed slowly moved a little and Alice saw Gilbert holding Elizaveta's hand. Gilbert was wearing a black plan baggy shirt, dark blue jeans, and black shows. Elizaveta was wearing a light green sun dress, green flip flops, carrying a light brown purse, and a silver necklace. Elizaveta saw her dear friend and smiled. The next thing Alice knows is that Elizaveta tackled her with a bear hug. Gilbert walked up smiling at the two. When they finally let go Alice gave Gilbert a hug.
"It has been ages I'm glad I can see you two again," Alice said with a soft cat like smile. She then noticed someone familiar. She moved her head to the right and saw a man that look just like the one in her dreams. Alice also noticed he was looking right at her. He started running up to her. Alice realized that it was him the one in her dreams. She turned to him and he embraced her in a deep and loving hug. After a moment of the embrace an explosion rocked the ground they stood on. Dust and debris went flying all over the place. Alice over her mouth as best as she could. She started coughing in her hands and trying to see through the dust. Then another explosion that was closer. She was knocked on the ground by someone. Then there was complete darkness.
Alice's eyes slowly flutter open to the sound of beeping and that sterilized smell of a hospital. She turns her head to the left seeing the man in her dreams asleep. Alice craned her neck up and noticed that Elizaveta and Gilbert were still clothed in their clothes they arrived in at the airport. She saw Elizaveta deep asleep. Gilbert got a cast on and he was looking at her. He turned to his wife and started shaking her.
"Elizaveta wake up Alice is awake," Gilbert said still shaking her to awake. Elizaveta moved a little and finally awoke. Elizaveta looked around the room then at Alice. She got up and walked up to Alice giving her a huge hug. Alice returned the hug to her friend.
"Gilbert and I were worried sick about you Alice. We were also worried about that man who hugged you. Is he the one in your dreams?" Elizaveta inquired smiling at her friend.
Alice nodded not really in the mood for talking. She looked over at the man hoping he was alright. Elizaveta turned to her husband.
"I think we should find a nurse and see if we can get her some food," Elizaveta stated walking towards Gilbert. Gilbert shrugged his shoulders and got up. Her two friends left the room. She turned back to the man and she saw he was looking at her.
"My name is Mathias Kohler and I would like to get to know you," Mathias stated reaching his left arm out for Alice to take his hand. She started doing the same. They finally interlocked hands.
"It is nice to finally meet you outside our dreams," She said looking at him passionately.
