Lost Without You:

Abby ~

Abby walked around in her lab, she couldn't think straight, her mind went in every different direction; she was as stressed as could be. Abby was struggling with her brothers Kyle and Loki: how do I tell them that we're all related? That Loki and I were adopted? She asked herself, she needed the perfect way to tell them. It's been a week since Abby has found out and she still hasn't told either one of them; how could she? The thought of being adopted has her so confused and lost that she can barely even say a complete sentence with it making sense.

With all this on her mind she's forgotten something important: it's her own birthday. Something she doesn't forget easily.

Not only Kyle and Loki, but there's someone else on her mind too.

Gibbs.

Abby doesn't understand why she's been feeling these strange feelings when he's around; why he cheers her up, why she loves it when she's rewarded with a peck to the cheek, why she loves the fact that he invades her personal space, why she feels the need to embrace him with more than her regular Abby hugs. Abby feels change in her body, in her feelings, and her point of view on Gibbs. Sometimes she questions herself on her feelings for him. Abby has even told herself that she loves him a few times, but took it back.

But in reality she does love him.

Gibbs ~

Gibbs sat at his desk; his computer off and he was without a usual coffee. It was late and pouring the rain. Tony, McGee, and Ziva had already gone home; so it meant Gibbs was alone, and he hated the feeling. Being at work without seeing his team drove him crazy – as much as they drive him crazy he loves the feeling of them being around – but tonight the emptiness was different; the two missing holes in his life have come around to acknowledge their deaths:

Shannon and Kelly.

Today was the day he and Shannon got married; the day his life suddenly became better. On their first anniversary Shannon found out she was pregnant with their daughter Kelly. Since they've been gone their anniversary just beings bad weather.

Gibbs sighed deeply leaning back in his chair as flashbacks of their first anniversary flew by him, like it was yesterday. He remembered her shimmering diamond blue eyes connecting with his, him stroking her shiny-bright-red-hair from her beautiful face, holding her thin-framed body, and placing butterfly kisses all over her. And now he hated the memories, he hated the fact that it's a memory and not a reality. Now it's just a load of grief to bear. Gibbs told himself, memories flooding his thoughts with pain to go along with it.

Then all of a sudden Gibbs began to think of all the women in his life and the women he's married; wasting his time on them, breaking their hearts: he felt awful. Gibbs suddenly felt guilty – no, not for the women he's married – but for the love he has for someone else, a love that may be greater than the love he had for Shannon:

Abby.

No one can make him feel the way he feels when he's around her; that innocent spark between them when he slowly leans toward her pale cheek, the way she gets distracted when working on a case, the way she amazes him when she rambles about evidence – showing off her fantastic knowledge – and he most of the time doesn't understand a word she's saying, the way he's not at her lab because of a case – just to see her – it call became clear to Gibbs:

He loves her.

Gibbs walked into Abby's lab once remembering it was her birthday; he beat himself up harshly for forgetting and not taking her out to dinner the night before. He stood in her lab for a moment watching Abby sit at one of her desks, one hand holding up her head. She looked lonely and worried; Gibbs hated seeing her like that, but he knew once he took her out to dinner she would cheer up. "Abs." He spoke her name and impatiently she peered up searching for him.

"Gibbs?" Abby rose from her chair confused and tired from all the pacing she has done from the night. "Uhmm do you need something?" She asked in an uneven voice that seemed weak and almost lifeless, something Abby is never like.

Gibbs only stared at her for a moment, almost revealing the worry he has for her. "No, just wanted to know if you wanted to go out for dinner?" Abby didn't reply, she had no idea he wanted to take her to dinner because of her birthday – she had forgotten completely about it – she zoned out for a few seconds; trying to read Gibbs.

"Why?" Abby bluntly asked as her tired eyes dropped to the floor; she liked the fact that he was asking her out, but tonight all she wanted to do was think of a way to talk to her brothers.

"It's your birthday, Abs." Gibbs answered gazing softly at her face, the face that he loved, and the face that put a smile on his lips. Gibbs then began wondering what had her so upset inside that she couldn't remember her own birthday. And then he remembered last week when Abby found out she was adopted, and he suddenly started to beat himself up again.

It's your birthday, Abs. It's your birthday, Abs. It's your birthday, Abs. Gibbs made her finally realize. Her eyes grew a size larger, she zoned out, and she suddenly felt better. "Y-you remembered?" Abby questioned, and she felt so much better knowing the obvious answer.

"Couldn't forget, even if I am a day late." Gibbs replied, his eyes roaming her head to toe, seeing her mood change.

Abby smiled slightly before running up to him and putting her arms around his neck, almost knocking him down. "You did remember!" She yelled, breaths of joy escaping her mouth once traveling through her energetic lungs. After she felt Gibbs wrapping himself around her, sung and tight, she buried her face in his neck, inhaling his familiar fresh sent; something she adored about him.

"I know when you're upset." He spoke in her ear, squeezing her tighter. "What's wrong?" He asked as she lifted her head to face him.

"I'm still bugged about the whole 'I'm adopted' thing." She replied slowly starring back into his eyes as he did the same to her.

"Are you in the mood for dinner?" Gibbs asked, expecting her to say yes.

Abby frowned, releasing him from their hug.

"Not tonight, Gibbs, I just have too much on my mind…" She turned him down, trailing off, feeling herself turn guilty. "I'm sorry." Abby looked to the floor apologizing.

"Goodnight, Abs." Gibbs smiled, understanding why she turned him down; he reached down and pressed his lips to her rosy-red-blushing cheek once pulling her in by the waist. Before walking off like he usually does, he stayed by her for a moment – her still smiling from the kiss he gave her – as if he wanted to say something, but instead he finally decides to do his as usual 'walk away'.

"But I'm sure I'll be free sometime next week." Abby called once he was about to go out her lab door. Gibbs spun around grinning.

"I'll get that in mind, Abs." He replied before heading toward the elevator.