Disclaimer: I bow down to the almighty Neil and Terry. They own the Good Omens universe, not I.

Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale have been left out of the divine struggle, living as grey zone immortals. This works fine until Lucifer walks out on Hell, and right up to England. Why did he leave? Will it be Hell on earth? Mild C/A slash.

AN: Okay, I got an idea that I wanted to try.

I don't really know if this appeals to anyone, if I should keep going or what. Please read it and let me know what you think. Oh yeah… the title is Latin, it means "Here, at last, he is happy."


Hic Tandem Felicis Conduntur Reliquae

Chapter 1- It's hell, dear.

They figured that sooner or later, they were getting a phone call from hell. Heaven, maybe, but hell was a certainty. They expected those calls to be full of anger, lenience, pity or… Perhaps on the furthest stretch: forgiveness.

They never expected panic.

It was three months after the aversion of apocalypse that they received a phone call filled with just that.


To understand just how surprised they were to be contacted in the first place, you have to understand what happened immediately after the almost-apocalypse.

Both sides were quite at a loss as far as what to do about Crowley and Aziraphale. In the end, perhaps ineffably, they were given the same punishment. Since they had both somehow managed to slip through all the loop holes of their divine laws (and because they did more harm than good to their respective causes) the angel and demon were both given rogue status. They were still immortals, but they served no side; which is to say they were grey zone entities.

Which is to say heaven and hell wanted them out of their hair.

When they were first given the news, it was a little awkward. Crowley was nervous about seeing Aziraphale because he was glad that his angel was grey. (And yes, by that time, Crowley always referred to him privately as his.)

Aziraphale was also nervous about seeing Crowley because he was ashamed. He was ashamed about how happy he was to be grey.

On the day that they both decided to tell each other the truth, they left their homes at the same time. Aziraphale only got a few blocks away from his bookshop when Crowley swung around the corner, no car, just demon speed and wings out so that he was nearly flying.

Well, what do you suppose they did?

Yes, exactly, just that.

The plants in Crowley's flat have long since died from neglect, as he no longer lives there.

And why not? In the grey zone, people live by choice… and it has long been common knowledge who Crowley and Aziraphale chose respectively.

Living as they wanted to live as long as they wanted to live (and the plan was eternity) they figured that sooner or later they would be contacted by their old employers. No one stays mad forever.

No one stays in the same place forever.


It was three months after the apocalypse and Crowley was sleeping to the music of typical English weather… which is to say: rain. I was sitting in the living room, gazing out of the blurred window. I was weighing the pros and cons of waking a former demon who was not a morning person, when the phone rang.

It really did ring, as a matter of fact. Sure it was a cordless, but I assumed that it would ring like a bell… so it did.

"Hello?" We had bought the phone for our own use, so I didn't know anyone who would call who wasn't a telemarketer.

"Zzzangelzzz don't hang zzz up zzzee phonezzz…" The voice was male harsh… hardly speech with all the buzzing choking it.

Even though the demon asked, I nearly did hang up.

"I have name, Beelzebub, and I don't see why I shouldn't." It was one of the harshest tones I ever used… but I was afraid. What did they want with Crowley?

"ZZZorry Azzzziraphale… pleazzzzzze, izzzz Crowley zzzzzere?" I felt my insides freeze up. Beelzebub's tone was panicky and he had used the words 'sorry' and 'please'… in a sentence. Something was happening.

"What's going on?" I asked.

The prince of hell hissed loudly in impatience. "I muzzzt zzzzpeak wizzz Crowleyzzzz. Itzzzzz an emergenzzzzy!"

"Alright, alright! You'll have to give him a moment… he's still asleep." I went over to look at Crowley, leaning on our bedroom doorframe.

"Zzzzevil zzz never zzzleepszzzz." The demon commented in a disgusted voice. I smiled to myself.

"Exactly."


It was so nice… just to lie there in bed and not have to move…

The pattering rain had started to get louder, forcing me to grudgingly regain consciousness.

I took in a slow breath. The lack of a warm pressure on my chest told me that my angel had already woken up. Not that that told me anything about the time. Aziraphale could get up at the crack of dawn if he wanted to. Madness…

Deciding I would get up (even if my only motivation was a good snog) I stretched out my arms in a wide arch, letting my wings free to do the same.

I opened my eyes to the sound of the door opening. Aziraphale was there, looking at me with a slow smile. He held the phone away from his ear, which sounded like it was broken: there was a great deal of shouting coming out of the receiver, but also buzzing as well.

"Morning, Aziraphale." I said, deliberately sinking back down onto the bed.

"The phone's for you, Crowley, time to get up." The shouting from the receiver seemed to lessen a bit.

"Aww," I groaned. I closed my eyes and turned away, deliberately letting kept my wings out so that they would pull the sheet away from my bare back. "Who is it?" I mumbled into the pillow.

"It's hell, dear." He said quietly, "They sound like they're in a right state."

I sat straight up, fear taking a hold on me. I got out of our bed, my wings disappearing once more. My too long pair of cargo pants whispered along the carpet as I crossed the room.

It was entirely possible that hell had called to either to try and get me back, or destroy me. I tried to smile nonchalantly and kissed my grey angel on the cheek before taking the phone.

"It's Crowley."


I watched him wince as Beelzebub started buzzing and shouting into Crowley's ear.

I went into the kitchen to make some tea, listening attentively to Crowley's conversation.

"Calm down… calm… oh bloody hell, shut up! Say it slowly so I can hear." Crowley paced into the living room, a frown drawing his face inward.

"What?" He stopped dead. Face blank in shock. "He's WHAT? ... you're sure? Well, where is he?" Beelzebub shouted so loudly, Crowley had to pull the phone away from his face. From where I stood, it looked like the receiver was heating up.

"Okay, damn, relax. You want me to what? Why should I? Yeah? Well I don't work for you anymore! Hmph. Will I? I'll keep an eye open, alright? Yeah, sure… don't hold your breath. Yeah, you too."

He turned off the phone and whipped it onto the sofa.

"Shit!"

I took his arm and brought Crowley over to the kitchen table to sit down. (You could have called it the only table, but it was in the kitchen.)

"Here, love, have some tea." I pushed a cup into Crowley's hands. The grey demon sipped it sombrely.

The silence weighed on me. We'd had a good few months… but it seemed like that was over. I hadn't seen Crowley this upset since the apocalypse.

Even though I knew it bothered him, put my hands on top of his. "Will you tell me what he said?" I asked. To my surprise, Crowley actually interlaced his fingers with mine. He nodded


I can't exactly explain how hard it is to do this to someone you love. Right now, he's worried about me, about how I feel. When I tell him what's happened, it'll be like a blow to the face. I don't want to hurt him, but he needs to know.

"Beelzebub says everyone in hell is in a panic. They're all disorganised and they don't know what to do. He's gone, left without a trace. Beel asked me to look for him up here. I said I would, but I don't know… if he's feeling violent then I should get you out as far away as-"

"Crowley!" Aziraphale cut into my rambling. "Who? Who's gone?"

I shook myself, realizing I hadn't even said it.

"Lucifer. Lucifer's gone from hell. He's on earth."


As I stood in the grey zone, I truly felt the greyness of it. It was raining; I was surrounded by dark clouds and marvelous curtains of falling water. The rain-slicked sidewalk reflects the sky nearly live a mirror. There is a moving nylon forest of umbrellas surrounding me, spreading their own droplets.

When I first arrived, I attracted a lot of attention. Any water that struck me instantly turned to steam. I had to deceive anyone's mind around me so that they didn't see I was a walking column of steam.

When I was properly cooled off, I lay down on the sidewalk. As I propped my head on my hands, I used my will to keep people away from me.

So here I am. Fresh from a blazing row with Beel and (I'll admit) feeling a little scared. I've dropped the Satan attachments. Being Satan was the only option apart from being an angel… not anymore. With that alter ego gone, it's a lot of weight off my chest… but I feel naked at the same time.

Forget Satan. I am not Satan. I am Lucifer Morningstar, and I've come to the grey zone; the place of choice, to make some of my own.


A/N: So what did you think? I really need reviews for this because otherwise I have NO idea if it's worth it or not.

Please tell me what you thought!

Thank you very much!

Sike