Wishing for Light

Bright days are hard to come by now… I wish they weren't, but that can't be helped. They used to be filled with so much light, days, but now? Well, nothing matters… nothing matters now that the light is gone… now that he is gone.

He was the most important thing in the world to me, and I took him for granted. He loved me with all his heart, and I rejected him completely, not knowing what I had until it was gone.

I wish I realized it before. But then again, maybe I should wish I never realized it at all. Maybe I should wish I never met him, or that one of us was never born. Then I would never have these regrets that I have now. Then these feelings… they wouldn't exist inside of me. I sigh. Wishing doesn't change anything. Wishing will never make a difference.

Because, in the end, it all comes down to the cruel reality.

I'll die here. I know that. I wonder if I have always known that, known that I would die during one of these missions. Well, it doesn't matter. I'll die, and no one will care. I'm a test subject, an experiment, and that's all I'll ever be.

I sigh once more as I let my tears fall. Nothing matters. The light in my days are gone. And I never knew until today that it was him who was that light.

He's never hurt me, but I always hurt him. I hit him, punched him, kicked him… I've even bitten him. I wonder how he could care for me after all I've done to him. I wonder why he's never struck me back. He let me do all of those terrible things to him and not once has he made one single move to strike me in return. I wish I could have asked him before he left- huh… there I go wishing again.

It's funny actually, what my fate turned out to be. Life's full of all these twists and turns huh? But I guess it's all based on the choices we make. I could've had all I wanted, but I made a decision and pushed it all away. I pushed him away.

Why, why do I push everything away? Why can't something ever be good enough for me? Why couldn't I just be happy with what I had? Why do I have to push everything in the world that could ever make me happy, why do I have to push that all away?! … Why am I such a terrible person?

I can feel my tears fall; I can feel that everything is coming to an end. I say things out loud. Things like how I wish I never realized my feelings. But now I'm just saying my thoughts. I hear voices telling me that things will be okay, that he will know and my feelings will reach him. I disagree. I shout something and tightly shut my eyes. Knowing who I am and what is true.

I am a girl used as a test subject, an experiment, and I have many regrets. I thought I knew everything, but in the end, all I know are these two things:

My name means 'Lost Hope.'

And all hope is lost.

"Anemone!"

I heard something. I heard shouting. I heard my name being called. My eyes snap open and I see his form falling while tightly clinging to something. I hear my name coming from his lips in the form of a desperate cry. My eyes widen. I wonder if this is true; did he really come for me, or am I just wishing again? I realize it doesn't matter as I remember what I shouted and what is happening.

But I am too late to stop it.

An attack fires and he is caught in it. The light that was starting to shine once more has faded as I realize that I just sent him to his death… and hope is lost once more.

I scream his name in the loudest possible voice I can muster. I feel full of regret again as my heart starts to break. Suddenly, I start to go after him in the machine I pilot called TheEND. I see him falling and I cry out to him twice more.

TheEND lifts me out of my cockpit and I see a look in this living robot telling me to go after that light. Find that hope once more. I nod, showing him I understand what he means. He releases me, and I start to fall.

It's strange; I don't feel frightened at all as I'm falling. I feel a strange sense of determination as I'm falling towards my death, but I don't see it as going towards my death, I see it a going towards my light, my happiness. Even so, I don't care if I die. If I'm with him, I'm perfectly fine.

I see his eyes start to open as I call his name two more times and a feeling of relief washes over me. At least I didn't kill him. I reach out to him and he does the same. Suddenly, we are pulled away from each other by the wind and I feel sad and worried at the same time, I have never had so many emotions in one day. It is a weird, but a very amazing feeling.

I see my pet badger I named Gulliver holding onto my light's sleeve and reach to me. I briefly wonder why my pet was with him, but I quickly push that thought into the back of my mind; I can ask them later. Right now, nothing matters but reaching my light. Gulliver grabs my fingers and pulls me closer to the hand I wish to hold. A smile graces my lips as we have reached each other. He pulls me in and holds me tightly.

I feel so warm now. I can feel the hope coming back, back into my life. I can feel my days being brightened by his light. I can feel it all. I can feel his love… and I never want to lose it, I never want to lose him again. And I know that completely now, now that I have reached him, now that we are together having our little moment where I scream at him and call him an idiot, he apologizes and I forgive him because, well, how could I not. I tell him that he came to find and he saved me. He denies the action and I tell him how he tried to.

But really, he has saved me, saved me from myself, from the darkness, from everything. He saved me by just being there.

I give him a smile and he calls it wonderful. I blush and make him say it louder. I tell him my thoughts from earlier: how this is my first time to have such an amazing feeling, and how I wouldn't care if I died right now. After that, the most wonderful thing happens:

We kiss.

It's beautiful and sweet and has our entire love put into it. I can feel how much he loves me, and I know he will never leave me or betray me. He'll be there for me forever, and I love him for that.

Suddenly, we are on a surface. TheEND caught us and we are now lying in his giant metallic hands. We break apart and look up at my LFO; then, I realize something. And I tell my light what I've realized: that I don't want to die right now. I want to live; I want to live together with him forever! He smiles at me and tells me that that is what we'll do.

I smile at him and I feel complete in his arms. I feel safe, protected, happy, but most of all, I feel loved. I feel like I finally have someone who cares for me, who loves me completely.

I know now who I am. And I know now what is true.

I am a girl who was used as a test subject, an experiment. I wasn't supposed to lose, and I wasn't supposed to feel. I was just supposed to follow orders. But life has many twists and turns; some are bad, and some are good. I have regrets, but everyone does. I've made mistakes, but everyone has. I thought I knew everything, but I've realized that no one knows everything. I am only completely sure of these few things:

My name is Anemone; it means 'Lost Hope'.

But hope is never completely lost, it's always there. Sometimes it's in different forms. Sometimes it's the sun showing its light; sometimes it's the stars a night. But sometimes, you don't know what it is… you just have to look for it. I found mine; it comes in the form of a human. His name… is Dominic Sorel.

A/N: hello!~ my friend told me that writing other stories and/or writing what you want to could help with my writer's block. so while I had writer's block for my other story "Path Through the Forest" (it's a Bakugan story) I wrote this story. :) along with a few others that I haven't finish yet. so I uploaded the PTTF and I wanted to make a few tweaks to this before uploading this... sadly, before I got the chance to make those tweaks, I got the FBI virus T-T . but it's fixed now so... YAY! XDD anyway, I just finished the tweaks and tada~ I really hope you like this story :D please review and tell me what you think. thanks for reading and reviewing if you do so. :D also, this is my 1st Eureka 7 story so fingers crossed that it's awesome and you like/love it. :D

THANKS FOR READING :)

LOVE Y'ALL (heart)

GOD BLESS :D

J.T.