You come into the kitchen asking for yet another meal and as usual I send you away knowing well enough it's really for your mother. As if on cue, she strides into the kitchen as if her presence will make me change my mind.

"Go away" I say calmly while continuing to wash the last of the plates.

With a polite smile, you come behind me and warp your arms around my waist and resting your head on my shoulder.

"It's kind of hard to finish these dishes with you here ya know..." I say. But as usual you ignore my and sigh deeply in my ear.

Then softly kissing my cheek, you back away and out the kitchen...

Well, at least that's how I'd like to remember it. The fact of the matter is that your distinction between right and wrong is so messed up that I don't know if you even understand the word 'moral' anymore. One minute your being your old sweet self and the next..

It's like your made of paper and glue, like your a Rubik's Cube. So fragile and so complicated, I'm not sure I can say I know you anymore. Ever since she died, I watched your sanity leave you bit by bit. And that day in the kitchen was the only one in a while where I had the old you back. I'll admit though, I kind of hate her for it... for dying. When she died she dragged you with her, literally,and there is no way to bring you back... not completely anyway.

"Dad?" I turn to look at our child. That bright hair that shone with fiery intensity and those eyes that reminded of you so much.

"What is it Bambi?" I reply as I turn back to cleaning off the dinner table. As hard as I tried I still look her in the eyes without thinking so much of her mother.

"Are you okay?"

Without replying I scrub the table harder, hoping that you'd just leave. And you do...

"Honey?" And speak of the devil...

"What are you doing out of your room?" I whisper as if the world would hear me and take vengeance upon me for it. There was no reply immediately but I could what you wanted from the start of it. Shaking my head in disbelief, I step past you and onto the couch in the living room.

"If your thinking about going outside then forget it. I'm not feeling up to another one of your episodes" I say without any emotion. Your pink eyes blink once... twice, before registering my words.

"I just thought that..." you say hopefully. "Then stop thinking because it's not happening" I respond without you finishing anything.

You open your mouth to retort but it's too late. I've lost my temper and I can't stop the anger from consuming me.

"No! NO! NO! Blossom, you can't go outside because you're ill and you're not mentally stable. I'm sorry but that's final!" I scream at you. Your frown deepens and those pink eyes tear up.

"I'm not ill" you whisper menacingly. "I shake my head in aggravation but you continue the argument.

"I was fine... I am fine. You just can't let go of me and admit that you don't own me"

"Blossom, I said no and that's the end of it"

"And just who are you Brick!? " I narrow my eyes at you but you continue to glare.

"I...Said...NO!" I spit at you.

"Fuck you" you spit back at me. As my eyes grow in rage, I grab the lamp nearby and throw it at you.

"Fuck YOU too!" I scream back. But the lamp goes straight through you and shatters against the wall. Moments later Bambi is staring at me with wide eyes. Of course, she can't see you, you bitch. She never sees you but she catches me.

She descends down the stairs and just hugs me. And as I completely collapse into her embrace, I can't help but hate you for dying and hate myself for missing you. I hate that I can't even see my own kid without being reminded of you...

"Blossom..." I whisper softly while continuing to sob. And just in front of me, the whole time, is the Rubik's Cube... Your Rubik's Cube, and as my eyes set on it, I cry even harder.

"It's okay Daddy" says Bambi.

And as she kisses my cheek... I cry.