Chapter 1 ~ Four simple words
AN: So this was intended to be longer, but some people were asking for me to upload this. Future chapters are going to be much longer. I plan to have very regular updates :)
Blaine's nerves were never as bad as they were now. He shook out his hands, hoping somehow, at would shake out all the nerves in his body. Unfortunately, that didn't work. He looked over at Kurt, who was looking at him rather confused. He smiled at him before he focused on his breathing once again. He felt like he was going to faint before he would tell everyone the big news. He looked around the choir room, everyone seemed rather happy. Finn and Rachel sitting happily together, she seemed to be whispering in his ear, no doubt it was about the letters for NYADA that she, Finn and Kurt were expecting this week. He looked over at Kurt, who was still looking at him. Blaine's felt every breathe he had in his body had disappeared. Mr Schue had called his name and his head snapped to look at him, taking one last long breathe before he made his way to the front of the Choir room, everyone had their attention and eyes on him. Here goes nothing.
The same four words played back and forth in his mind, he shook his head, he couldn't believe what Blaine had just told not only him, but the entire glee club, in the choir room, to everyones complete surprise. He turned to the empty chair which Blaine was sitting before he turned to his other friends in the room, all eyes seemed to land on him whilst whilst he was still trying to process what Blaine just said.
' I'm joining the army '
Kurt frowned when he finally turned to face Blaine, who had his eyes on the ground, shuffling his feet. His mouth was moving, but Kurt couldn't hear anything, he couldn't hear the whispers from the others, he couldn't hear the chair shuffling when Mr Schue stood next to Blaine, He couldn't even hear himself let out a small sob as tears started to pool his eyes. He looked back to his hands which were fidgeting on his lap.
'I.. I um.. Im joining.. straight away... After graduation.."
Kurt was nudged by someone who was sitting next to him, he looked up, seeing that Blaine had made his way to his chair without Kurt even realising. He moved back, he didn't want to speak Blaine right now, he didn't even want to look at him.
How could Blaine not tell him before about this? Why didn't he let Kurt know to save himself his dignity of finding out with the rest of his friends? Didn't Blaine trust him? Didn't Kurt mean something to the other boy to be able to tell him before he told anyone else?
The bell to sound the end of Glee rang throughout the halls of Mckinley, Kurt stood straight away, picking up his back and putting it over his shoulder before walking out before anyone. Many of the others had still be seated in their seats but Kurt knew he had to leave now before making a fool of himself, again, by crying in front of everyone.
He had managed to ignore the voice calling his name behind him.
"Kurt!" Blaine called, "Please stop!" he yelled after the boy, he managed to grab hold of Kurt's elbow, spinning the boy around to face him. Kurt's watery eyes managed to make eye contact with Blaine's.
"How could you" he whispered, pulling his own arm back out of Blaine's grip, "How could you do this to me Blaine?" He cried, slamming his fists on the other boy's chest, "How could you do this?" he sobbed, fisting at the boy's t-shirt. Blaine grabbed hold of the boy, wrapping his arms around him, trying to hold back his own tears as the boy cried against his chest.
"I.. I wanted to do this.. this for us" he said, voice slightly breaking as his eyes tearing up. Blaine grabbed the boy's shoulders, moving him back and looking at him, "I thought.. i thought you would be proud of me." he said, biting down his own lip to stop himself from cry. Kurt pulled back out of his grip, "Proud of you?" He yelled, "You could be killed, how can i be proud of that?" He took a few steps back before he turned to run out the doors, not stopping to turn back to Blaine.
He made his way to his car, slamming his hands on the bonnet before he fell to the ground, wrapping his arms around his legs as he dug his head into his knees. He cried, harder than he thought he would, as he sat beside his car. He couldn't believe Blaine was doing this, not now. Blaine was his boyfriend. They had plans, they were meant to be moving together to New York once Kurt's acceptance letter came through, They we're meant to find an appartment, where it wasn't too far for Kurt to reach NYADA or Blaine to reach NYU. They could get married in a few years, maybe have children. But now, Kurt would have to worry if his boyfriend was even alive. After a few minutes, he stood up on his shaky legs, he wiped his eyes before he got out his key, fumbling with them to open the car before he got in. He started up the engine, leaving in the opposite of direction of the building, out the gates.
Blaine stood at the doors of William Mckinley High-school. He watched the love of his life break down by the car. He knew that Kurt was hurting, he watched but didn't move. He couldn't bring himself to move over to the other boy, he knew that Kurt just needed to be on his own, he needed space to work out the information. Blaine turned, grabbing the bag he discarded when he caught up with Kurt. He looked back once again, hoping that somehow, he would see Kurt driving back into the gates.
Kurt made his way home safely, he turned off the engine, resting his head against the steering wheel as he tried to stop himself from crying before he entered the house. He managed to fumble with the lock of the front door for a while before he opened it. He tried to close the door silently behind him. Carole and Burt would be home now and he didn't want the fuss, not now. He managed to get to the top of the stairs leading to his bedroom before Burt walked out.
"Hey Kurt how are-" he stopped when his eyes landed on his son, "Whoa, wait, Have you been crying?" He said, instantly bringing his hand up to the boy's shoulder, "Kurt?" He asked once again when he didn't reply.
"I'm fine" he managed to say, his throat feeling completely dry.
"The jocks haven't been bullying you again, have they? Karofsky?" His father said bluntly. Kurt scoffed at him. When it came to Kurt being upset, his father knew the most littlest things. When he was younger, it was always his Mother that understood Kurt, When Kurt came home crying his mother would be able to guess why he was upset, if it was someone picking on him to him scraping his knee, she knew best. Hence the reasoning behind his fathers complete misunderstanding.
Kurt pushed his way past his father before he managed to get to his room, slamming the door shut behind himself as he dove into his bed, the tears already rolling down his cheeks.
A few hours past, Kurt was still laying in his bed, facing the ceiling. He still hasn't got his head around everything, he had a large headache that didn't seem to disappear. He just left blank. A whole part of him had disappeared and he didn't feel any of this was real anymore. A knock came to the door interrupted his thoughts, he rolled to face away from the door. "G'way" he managed to choke out before his eyes filled with tears once again. The person, whoever it was, didn't listen as the door opened. He heard footsteps get closer, and the bed behind him sunk down.
"Hey" the woman whispered, placing her hand on his shoulder, "It's going to be alright." Kurt turned to face her, his eyes red and puffy, his cheeks wet with tears, once his eyes landed on her let out a small sob. Carole leaned in grabbing the boy who looked much more smaller than he was into her arms, hugging him close to her chest. "Hey!" She whispered, rubbing circles across his back, "No more tears!" She pulled Kurt back to look at her, bringing her hand up to wipe the rolling tear that was diving down his cheek. He looked up at her and half smiled.
"I don't wanna loose him, Carole" he sobbed, "He is my everything." Carole put her hand out, holding on to his.
"It's gonna be okay" she smiled, "You're not gonna loose him, but, you do need to speak to him." Kurt looked up at her, raising his eyebrow which triggered Carole to chuckle. "You don't know my son as well as I do." She smiled at him, "He would tell me where he hid the body if I had a batch of homemade muffins" she nodded her head at the muffin sitting on his side, before looking back at Kurt, who was now smiling at her. "It's gonna be alright" she said, leaning her head to the side, "I promise." Kurt smiled once again, leaning in and hugging her, whispering a slight thank you in her ear before leaning back. Carole moved over, grabbing the framed photo of him and Blaine that Kurt had on his table. She passed it over to the boy, smiling as he never took his eyes off it when he took it. "you should call him" she said, before moving off the bed. He looked up at her and slightly nodded, "I should" he said, looking back at the photo, rubbing his thumb over it.
A few bites of his muffin and a shower later, Kurt had managed to find Blaine's number. He had the phone against his ear, waiting for Blaine to pick up. Kurt had picked up the photo he had been given earlier.
Once Blaine got home he let out a sigh, his parents weren't home, and lets be honest, when was they home?
His things were pretty much packed up into boxes. He looked through the different things he had packed. He had all of his family things, then all of his old child stuff, his Dalton stuff, his family stuff. He stopped when he got to the box labeled 'Kurt and Blaine' he sat next to it, pick out if the photos he had stored. He smiled as he flicked through them, all the different memories he had, Kurt in his 'Likes Boy's' top for Gaga week, a few other photos with Kurt and the other members of New Directions, Different photos of the two boy's together, he picked out one, it was him and Kurt, with Kurt kissing his cheek. He looked at it, not realising that he had started to cry till a tear landed on the photo. He looked up and wiped his eyes before he placed the rest of the photos in the box, keeping the one in his hand out. He placed it on another box, that was separate from the rest. This box was labeled 'Army'
He understood very well Kurt was upset with him, it was a shock. He knew that Kurt had been angry at him for not telling him sooner, but how could he? He knew that Kurt would be mad, he would try and change his mind. Yes, it may of been better to tell him sooner so they could make there times better before he leaves, but all the moments he has spent with Kurt is very special to him. He knew the reasons why Kurt was angry at him, and he knew that Kurt could possible want to break up with him, and he was perfectly fine with that, because in the end, it was all up to his boyfriend.
Blaine sat up on his bed, not realising that he had just been asleep for the past few hours. He could hear a rattle outside his room. He got up and walked out. His father and mother, with cooper, standing there. They had been huddled around, discussing something that Blaine could not make out from the distance he was from them. By the time he moved closer to the others they had quietened at his presence.
"Hey Blaine!" Cooper smiled, hitting his younger brother on the back, "Leaving for the army this week! Wow!" he said, laughing at his younger brother. Blaine looked around, they were up to something. He knew his family more than they thought he did. He knew when they were hiding something, and this was one of them moments. He didn't want a big send off, he really didn't want everybody knowing, hence the reason he told his glee club members the week he was leaving. He hadn't even told the Dalton guy's yet. He should properly do that sometime soon, rather them learning from someone else.
"What are you guys up to?" He asked, rather bluntly. The other Anderson's tried to hide there smiles, as they all answered "Nothing" at the same time. Blaine let out a sigh as he moved to get a glass from the cupboard, "Whatever your up too, i don't want it" he said, before pouring his drink and leaving the room before any of his family could argue with him.
He didn't mean to sound ungrateful, he wouldn't normally be like this. But Blaine couldn't imagine having a goodbye party without Kurt there, and he knew, after -if- they spoke again, that Kurt would not want to speak to Blaine after he called things off between them both.
Blaine was walking towards his room when he heard music,
You make me, feel like i'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on.
He sprinted to his room when he got closer, realising that the sound he was hearing was his phone. He picked it up instantly, looking at who it was that was on the phone. 'Kurt Hummel' it read, and Blaine clicked the green button, answering the call.
"Hey Kurt" he answered, but nobody spoke on the other end, he had to check his phone once again, making sure that he actually answered, he put the phone back to his ear, he could hear somebody breathing. "Hello... Kurt?" he called down the phone once again, but the other person didn't respond. He thought that Kurt must of been too scared, maybe he was phoning to break up with him by phone? He thought he would try one more time before he would hang up.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked. Kurt completely forgetting that he had the phone to his ear as he smiled at the photo, a million memories flooding his mind as he forgotten he had phoned Blaine.
"Oh.. I.. Hey" he answered, mentally kicking himself for not speaking up sooner. "I just.. I wanted to know if you... Wanna come over- for um- dinner?" He looked down at the photo, smiling at the picture of them. He couldn't stay mad at Blaine, he needed to speak things through.
"Yes!" Blaine answered, rather eagerly. "I mean.. Uh.. Yeah, okay. Ill be there in 10?"
"See you then" Kurt answered, before hanging up the phone.
"I love you" Blaine added, but by the time he said it, he was too late.
Kurt faced the mirror in his room, checking then double checking if his outfit was okay, or if he needed to go change it again, for the fifth time this evening. It was quite clear that it wasn't the outfit that Kurt was worried about though, it was the conversation that he would end up having with Blaine tonight. He wants to completely ignore it, he wants to go back to earlier, when there was no worries. He straightened out the invisible creases in his buttoned up shirt before he walked out of his bedroom.
Kurt leaned against the door frame leading into the Kitchen. He watched how Carole worked on cooking the dinner. One she noticed Kurt was there, she turned and smiled. "Nearly done!" She said, nodding her head at the pots on the stove, "You look great, by the way" she added, before turning back to finnish chopping. Kurt smiled at her, he didn't know how she did it, how she could carry on with her life, even though her former husband, and the father of her child had died in the Army. Kurt moved closer, placing a arm on her shoulder as he turned one of the switches to stop one of the pots spilling over the top.
"Thank you, Carole" He said, stopping to turn to her, "For everything." Carole smiled, playfully smacking his arm, "It's nothing" she laughed, "But if you try to interrupt my cooking again..." she started, looking over at him with a stern look. Kurt moved back quickly "Sorry" he said instantly, throwing his hands up in the air playfully and laughing. Carole turned, laughing at the boy before she grabbed him into a tight hug, which Kurt hugged back just as quick. "It's gonna be alright" she whispered in his ear, "You're gonna be alright"
Kurt looked up at the clock, before looking back at the door for the hundredth time in the last few minutes. It was 17:58, and Blaine was due to arrive any moment from now. He tapped his foot against the oak wood floor, which earned him a glare from his father, which made him stop instantly, sitting on the opposite sofa from him.
"Hey" his father said, tapping the seat next to him, "Come 'ere a second" Kurt stood, walking over to Burt and sitting next to him, unsure of what kind of lecture his going to have the privilege to this time. However, Burt didn't say anything. He grabbed hold of his son, pulling him in for a hug. "You are such a brave boy" he started, before leaning back and looking Kurt in the eyes, holding onto his hand. "You was brave when your mother died, you was brave when you went through all that shit at school" Burt's eyes were starting to tear up now, "and you're going to be brave for Blaine!" He smiled at his Kurt, who was shedding a few tears of his own. "After Dinner, i'm going to take Carole and Finn out to the cinema. I want you and Blaine to talk things out" Kurt smiled, wiping his eyes and grabbing hold of Burt. "Thank you dad" he sobbed into his shoulder.
They were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing, Kurt shot back, looking over at the door. He looked back at his father one more time an gulped, quickly wiping his face and glancing at the mirror one more time before he made his way to the door.
Blaine stood at the door, his hands were shaking and he felt like he was going to be sick any moment. He knew Kurt was mad at him, he knew that Kurt would probably going to break up with him tonight, but he still tried to hold a strong face when he heard footsteps make their way to the door. He let out a shaky breathe he didn't really know he was holding when he heard the lock on the door come undone, and he smiled when he saw Kurt's face, as if he hadn't seen him in years, not a couple of hours.
"Hi" Kurt said shyly, bitting onto his bottom lip, "Come in" he stood to the side, allowing Blaine to walk past him. Blaine walked into the house, moving to take his shoes off and place them beside the door. When he stood back up, Kurt was standing close to him.
"I'm sorry" Blaine blurted out, "I didn't- I- Uh-" Kurt moved forward, grabbing the other's hands.
"Please" he started, "Can we just forget about everything, till after dinner?" Blaine nodded, far to eagerly, before he moved forward, placing a kiss on the taller boy's lips, Kurt gasped in the kiss before he moved his hands up to cup Blaine's cheek, kissing the boy back.
A cough came from the other side of the hallway, both Kurt and Blaine turned to whoever it was.
"I uh- Carole told me to tell you dinners ready" Finn said, before walking away, faster than he may of intended. He didn't want to ruin the moment between them both. Kurt let out a chuckle when he saw Finn walk away, resting his forehead against the other boys, smiling as they looked each other in the eyes . "Let's go" Kurt whispered, grabbing hold of his boyfriends hand, leading him to the table.
There wasn't much said about the situation during dinner. Both boy's sat next to each other, Blaine sat silently nodding at the conversation that was happening, grabbing quick glances at Kurt sitting next to him, that Kurt didn't fail to notice. Blaine and Kurt helped Carole wash up in the Kitchen, looking at each other but not saying anything, Carole tried to make conversation between the boys, but there wasn't much to say. Kurt and Blaine were seated on different ends of the coach when Burt spoke up.
"We're off!" Burt said, as he stood up, grabbing his coat. Both Carole and Finn appeared at this moment, both of them dressed and ready to go out too. Blaine glanced at them all then back and Kurt. He could tell Kurt knew that they were all going out.
"We'll be back in about two hours. I want you both to sort things out." He gave a stern look at them both. "Just talking" he added, before he left the room.
Kurt looked at Blaine, who was fidgeting his hands in his lap. He moved closer, grabbing hold of his hands from his lap, making the other boy look at him.
"We need to talk" Kurt said, looking down at their hands, "because that's the whole point of you being over here."
Blaine sighed, before replying. "I know you don't want to be with me anymore, and that is absolutely fine but I-"
Kurt brought his hand up, placing a finger on Blaine's lips, stoping him from talking. "Let me talk, okay?" Blaine nodded instantly.
"Firstly, I don't want to leave you Blaine. I just... I wish you told me before you told anyone else, that way i may of had my word in on it. But you told me with everyone, maybe you have your own reasons for doing that, but i was mad at you for that. I just.. I don't want to loose you Blaine. You're my everything. I.. I never wanna say goodbye to you."
Blaine looked up, bringing his thumb up to wipe the tear rolling down the other boy's cheek. "I'm never going to say goodbye to you, Kurt. I'll be back, you're not loosing me." he whispered, letting out a sob after he finished.
Kurt leaned forward, placing a kiss on the boy's cheek. "I wont be able to do that though, I wont have you with me for the next however many months, and that hurts." he whispered, "Because no matter where you are, i'm going to worry about you everyday. I won't know if you're alive or dead" He let out a cry as he thought of the idea of Blaine dying in the war.
"I'm going to write to you every day" he almost yelled, before moving forward and placing a kiss on the boy's lips. Kurt brought his hands up to wrap around the other boy's neck.
"Promise?" He whispered between kiss,
"Promise" Blaine replied, pushing Kurt down to lay on the sofa, moving above him without removing his lips off the other boy.
Kurt brought his hands around to grab hold of Blaine's arms, "We can't do this..." he said, interrupted by Blaine kissing down his jaw line, "N- Not- Not now" he added, he wanted to do this right now, but he knew that his father would seriously punish him if he found out, and he usually did.
Blaine sat up and smiled, holding onto Kurt's arm to pull up as well. "Okay" he said, looking down at himself, his bulge was clearly visible and he blushed. Kurt followed Blaine's glances, blushing brighter shades of red when he noticed too.
"I'll get us a drink to cool off" he said, moving away from the coach and into the Kitchen. Blaine rested his head on the back of the coach, letting out big breaths. He would most defiantly miss this.
Soon enough, the Hudson-Hummel's were back. Blaine and Kurt were cuddled on the sofa asleep. There was a movie that had been finished on the TV. Burt moved first, tapping his son's shoulder to try and wake him.
"Kurt" he whispered, "We're home." Kurt smiled, as his grip around Blaine had tightened, but he didn't open his eyes. Carole came forward, tapping Burt on the shoulder to look at her. "This is the only moment they're going to have together for a while. I think we should leave them for a while, don't you think?" Burt moved his head to the side and smiled, nodding at the two boys before leaving the room with Carole.
A couple of hours had passed and Kurt finally awoke. He shot his eyes open when he realised he was holding onto somebody. He looked around the room, it was dark, and empty. He looked around to Blaine, smiling at the other boy who was still fast asleep. He moved closer, placing a kiss on the other boys forehead, which made him stir in his sleep before he tried to get out of the tight arms wrapped around them. He sat up on the sofa but not only a minute later, two arms wrapped around his waist.
"Hello" Kurt whispered, slightly chuckling at himself for believing Blaine was actually asleep when he kissed him. Blaine smiled, buring his head into the other boy's shoulder,
"Hey" he mumbled, "What time is it?"
Kurt looked over at the clock before he gasped, "Its already nine o'clock Blaine! You need to go home before your cerfew!" Blaine's eye's looked up at the clock before he cursed quietly to himself, leaning over to grab the jacket before standing up.
"Well.. i'll see you tomorrow.." Kurt started, not looking up at the other boy, frowning to himself. Blaine brought his finger to his chin, moving his head to face him.
"You will see me tomorrow!" he said, smiling, "And the next day. I'm not going just yet!"
Kurt smiled before he leaned forward, placing a kiss on the other boy's lips before he moved back, biting his lip as he didn't break eye contact. Blaine smiled, bringing his hand up to move the hair from Kurt's forehead and placing a kiss where it was.
"I love you" he whispered, before he turned to walk out, "I love you" Kurt said, before he had gone too far. Blaine turned back and grinned, before he opened the door.
