A/N: Before you start reading, I should tell you that the characters in this story are closer to their manga counterparts than the anime. This is apparent especially for Rei. She does not want to become a singer like in the anime, nor has she got a phobia of singing like in the live action. I feel it is important to point this out, as singing is a central theme through this story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of its characters. All song titles and lyrics are original, and any similarities to real songs are a complete coincidence.
NOT AN ANGEL
by Dark Moon Ministry
CHAPTER 1
Darkness surrounded him as he pressed his head against the cold floor. The only thing he heard was the sound of his own heartbeats ticking in his ears. He had lost track of how long he had been lying in this place, but he did not have time to think of himself now. He had a duty he needed to fulfill, and he knew that anytime soon, the time would come.
One more minute passed, and then he finally heard it. Far off in the distance, he heard someone grab the door handle. This was it. He pressed his body against the floor. Would it be good or bad?
He heard the door open and then forcefully slam shut. Shortly after that, he heard the banging sound of shoes being kicked off against the wall.
It was bad.
The footsteps moved inside the house. There was a slamming of another door, and the sound of running water. Then the sound of footsteps moved out to the kitchen. He heard how the doors to the refrigerator and cupboards opened and how objects were taken out from them.
It was very bad.
The footsteps grew in volume until they were right outside his room. Finally, the door opened and he felt the adrenaline rise inside his body.
The person slowly closed the door and walked across the room. He heard how all the objects from the kitchen were carefully being put on the bed. Then he heard the sound of drawers opening, and how clothes were pulled off and taken on. Then he heard how the person sat down on the bed. And not until then did he open his eyes.
He rose and quietly moved out of his hiding place, his feet making soft thumping noises on the floor. He halted for a second and peeked up at the person on the bed who sat frozen still in the same position as before. In a swift motion, he leaped up to the nightstand by the bed and reached for a cord hanging from a lamp. He took it in his mouth and pulled it as hard as he could. After a few tries, the lamp clicked, and a dim, but warm light gently spread over the room, finally adding some color and texture to the dark and cold surroundings. He sat down and breathed out, then raised his head and let his eyes rest on the person who had recently entered the room. The person before him was a blonde girl in her early teens. A girl he knew all too well.
Minako Aino, his friend, apprentice and team partner since a long time back.
Many things had been said about Minako. People always talked about her confident and outgoing personality, her wicked sense of humor, and her self-absorbed, but always warm-hearted attitude. She was known as the one who always came up with great plans, and the one who always talked herself and her friends out of trouble once the plans had backfired. And last but not least, she was known for her brilliant sense of fashion and her never ending commitment to becoming a big name in the entertainment industry.
But the girl who was now sitting here was a mere shadow of how people portrayed her. The girl sitting here was a tragic, broken down mess. Her face – usually so sweet and charming – now emitted nothing but sadness and lost hope, emphasized by the partly washed off makeup that was running down her cheeks. She was dressed in nothing more than a pair of shorts and an oversized white t-shirt, highlighting her long, slender legs and bare feet. Her back was haplessly pressed against the wall and her messy blonde hair was dropping down over her shoulders.
The items from the kitchen were placed around her on top of the bed. Candy, ice cream, sugared drinks of all sorts. Useless, unhealthy items that offered temporary comfort. Artemis watched as she took up a candy bar, ripped off the paper and took a bite of the contents inside. She then opened a bottle of juice and forcefully began chugging down its contents.
Artemis carefully jumped down on the bed. He pattered over to the girl, slowly and respectfully, as if approaching a royal deity. He rolled up into a ball next to her thigh and let out a quiet, rhythmic purring.
A few moments passed by, then the girl took him in her hands. Her grip was extremely careful, as if he was a fragile being that could easily break. She lifted him up from the bed and pulled him close to her chest, and then she began crying lightly. She stroked his fur as her tears fell down her cheeks. She still had some of the sticky chocolate left on her fingers, but he did not mind. This moment was not about him. It was about her.
Minako Aino was a girl with many identities. She was the born again princess of Venus. She was the proud warrior of love and beauty, known to people as Sailor Venus. She was the noble leader of the four scouts protecting princess Serenity.
And beneath all that, she was also a fourteen year old girl.
A fourteen year old girl with big dreams, just like all other fourteen year old girls. And fourteen year old girls sometimes had the need to fall apart. To break down and cry out the darkness inside, so that they could rise again and become stronger. He was aware that sitting here in the dim light tucked up into Minako's arms was definitely not part of his job description. In fact, he was not even sure it was appropriate for the two of them to have such a moment.
But duty was one thing and life was another. And no matter what any ancient legends said, he would always be there when she needed him. In everything.
After a while, Minako stopped crying. She let out a deep sigh and put Artemis back on the bed. She leaned back against the wall again and dried her eyes with one of her hands. He watched as she pressed another cookie into her mouth and took another sip of the juice bottle. When she had swallowed the contents down, he decided to speak up.
"So... tell me."
Minako stared out into the empty space in front of her. She took a long time before she answered.
"Third."
"Out of how many contestants?"
"Ten."
He felt a bit of relief. At least she had been put among the tops.
"That is not so bad, Minako," he said. "You should be proud of yourself."
"Of what? For being the loser once again?"
Her voice was a bit sour, but not as grimy as he had feared it would be.
"Third place out of ten contestants, Minako. That means only two other girls were considered to be better than you. That certainly does not sound like a loser to me."
"Second place is the first loser. That makes me the second loser."
He was well aware that she was acting like a little child, but he did not judge her. He watched her silently as she began indulging the ice cream, aggressively lodging big chunks in her mouth with a spoon.
He decided to try another angle. "How were the separate events of the contest? How was your speech performance?"
"Okay, I guess..." Minako hesitated a bit, thoughtfully watching the spoon full of ice cream in her hand. "Well, I guess you could say it went quite alright. They liked it."
"I'm sure they did. You usually break all the contestants in that event. You have a natural charm, you know. You come out as honest, as opposed to the artificial, choreographed speeches the other girls often make."
"Well, yeah..." Minako mumbled. Artemis felt he could see a little life in her eyes for a brief moment, but he was not sure.
"And the dance performance then?" he continued. "Did you do your acrobatic tricks?"
"Yes. Got them down. No stumbles, no mishaps. All those volleyball classes did pay off after all." For the split of a second, a hint of a smile came over Minako's lips, then quickly disappeared again. At least it was a start.
At this point, Artemis hesitated. A quiet tension started building up around the two of them. They both knew they were approaching the most sensitive part of the conversation. Artemis really did not want to bring it up, but since he had already started the topic, there was no going back. He took a deep breath. "So I guess the only event that was not top notch was... the singing?"
Even in the dim light, he could see the tiny flinch that went through Minako's body. She shut her eyes tightly. Artemis waited anxiously. Finally, she opened her eyes and stared blankly out in the air. She licked her lips. "Yes, Artemis... It's the singing. It's the fricking singing. Like always..."
The sourness in her voice was now gone, replaced by a sadness.
"It's always the same thing," she continued. "I do fine in the energetic songs, when the melody goes in a lower key and it's more about attitude. But then when it's time for the higher melodic parts, like in the ballads where things go soft and emotional, then I just don't nail it. It just doesn't click. It comes off as forced."
Minako sighed. Her shoulders slumped down. She looked weakly at the cat. Artemis looked back at her as softly as he could.
"I have practiced for so long to be able to sing those high parts the way they are supposed to, but it doesn't work. My voice sounds strained and unnatural. They don't want that. They want girls who can sing like angels. Girls who sound like sirens in Greek mythology. Girls who can take all the high notes completely freely. Like, maybe, Celine Dion or Mariah Carey, you know."
Artemis felt devastated seeing Minako's sadness. "I think you sing very well, Minako," he said, trying to cheer her up. "Just because the judges are obsessed with angelic voices does not mean you do a bad job."
"Thanks," Minako said. A hint of a smile quickly reached her lips again. "But it doesn't matter. Girls with angel-like voices are what are in today. That's what they want. And if I can't deliver what they want, I won't go anywhere..."
Minako took another candy bar from the plate beside her. She peeled off the paper and was about to put it in her mouth, but then she suddenly threw the piece of candy in the wall. The loud bang made Artemis jump.
"Why should it be so damn hard for me to sing like that!?" Minako said angrily with a loud voice. "It's not that I don't practice. I practice like hell every week! It's just that... my voice is not like that. It's not shaped like that. I don't feel comfortable singing in that way."
She ran a hand through her thick blonde hair.
"I work so hard. Every single minute that is not for school or for the Sailor scout stuff I dedicate to practicing. I want to become an idol. It's my dream, damn it! But I cannot do it. The only missing link is my voice. If I only got the voice right, I could make it." Her voice suddenly became a weak whisper. "If I only could get the voice right..."
Her head fell down. Her hair fell over her shoulders and down in her lap.
"Why, Artemis...?" Minako whimpered, glaring at him from underneath her golden locks. "Why is my voice not like that? Why is my voice low and rough rather than high and angel-like?"
Artemis put his paws in her lap and looked at her with innocent eyes. "People are born with different features, Minako. Some are born with higher voices, some with lower. It's all biology, you know. You are what you are, and you should be proud of that."
He jumped down on the blanket, nodding his head. "It all depends on the construction of your throat and the larynx. People are of different size and height, and that affects the size of the neck as well. A person who is born with a long and tiny neck will get a higher register than someone with a shorter and sturdier neck. It's just like a music instrument. For example, look at the wind instruments, like a tuba or a flute. They have different constru—"
"I KNOW!" Minako roared. "You have told me that a million times already! I did not ask for a damn music class!"
Shit... Artemis lowered his head in shame. He did not dare looking at Minako. Why do I never learn to hold myself back? Why do I always spoil everything by getting caught up in my own lectures? She does not need hard facts now. She needs comfort. If I only could remember that.
Artemis nervously peeked up at Minako. She looked extremely frustrated. She was staring out in space again, gritting her teeth with her hands clutched on her knees.
Artemis started to feel desperate. He could not stand seeing her like this. Out of options, he came up with one last idea of what to do. This was dangerous territory, but he had no other choice. He mustered up all the courage he had, then firmly put his front paws down on Minako's leg and looked her deep into the eyes. "Minako, you are not unsuccessful. You are doing fine, and you will soon make your dreams come true. I know that."
"Yeah, yeah, that's what you always say..." Minako said with a sarcastic smile.
"It's the truth, and I can prove it."
Minako looked at him in disbelief. Artemis nodded his head, hoping that it looked convincing enough. "Think back to when you first started going to these auditions and contests. How long ago was that?"
Minako shrugged. "Around one and a half years ago, I think. Why do you ask?"
"Think back to your first auditions. Remember how you messed up? The first times, you almost always finished last."
"That happens to everyone in the beginning!" Minako said angrily.
Artemis quickly moved on with the subject. "Exactly. Now look at yourself today. Today you finished in third place. Think back to the audition you had last time about a month ago. In what place were you there?"
"Why do you ask that? I—"
"Answer me, Minako. In what place did you finish last time?"
Minako shrugged again. "Third as well."
"Yes. And the one before that, two months ago?"
"Second..."
Minako raised her head. A more focused look slowly came over her face, as if a new thought process had started in her brain.
"See the pattern?" Artemis said. "In the span of eighteen months, you have gone all the way from being a runt to being one of the top contenders. There are three events, right? The speech, the dance and the singing?"
"Yeah..."
"In the beginning you could not do any of them very well. But you did not give up. You practiced your speech performance, you practiced your dance moves, and the voice has improved a lot too. Can't you see it all fits the pattern?"
Artemis gave her his sunniest smile and waved his tail like a happy dog to give her encouragement. "Fourteen is still a young age for being an idol. Most girls don't get approved until they are around sixteen. That's almost two years from now, Minako. With the growth you have shown in these eighteen months, imagine where you will be then. All the calculations point in that direction. It's simple math!"
Artemis sat down. The big smile was still on his face, but on the inside he was carefully watching the girl. Minako did not answer, but the ghastly look on her face slowly faded away. Her breaths became slower and more focused. A tiny, playful glow began filling her eyes.
"Heh, you are quite an optimistic little fellow, you know..." she muttered with a tiny smile.
Artemis felt big relief. It was working. They were only small signs, but Artemis was well familiar with them. He knew when Minako was returning.
Minako sat up on the bed and straightened her back. She scratched the cat's fur again, and this time it was playful, rather than the faint, depressive touch of before. She gave him a smile. A real, sunny smile. Artemis smiled back, filled with happiness that he had brought her back to life once again. She never thanked him for it, but she did not have to. The only thing he ever needed was to see that smile, and that spiteful, happy glow in her eyes.
"Yeah, okay," Minako said with a chuckle. "I guess I worry too much. My voice will probably improve in the end. It's not that bad, really..." Then she winked her eye at him. "...at least I do a better performance than you do at the roof top at night, meowing at the moon like you are a wolf or something. You really sound like someone slammed a door on your tail."
The girl laughed. Artemis looked down in the bed, distressed and highly embarrassed. "That was long ago. I don't do those things anymore..." he muttered.
"Oh reeeally?" Minako said teasingly. "What was it I heard in the middle of the night three days ago, then?"
She snapped her finger on his nose, laughing again. She then jumped off the bed swiftly like a gazelle, so suddenly that Artemis almost lost his footing from the shift in weight. Artemis groaned and rubbed his nose with his paw. "That was mean!" he whined after finally regaining his posture. "And you were not supposed to hear my singing! I thought you were not at home!"
Minako was not listening. She did a few dance steps on the floor and then flipped back her hair. It fell majestically over her shoulders like golden yarn. Artemis watched the princess as she walked up to the mirror. She turned the lights on and watched herself. Despite the awkward situation, he felt satisfied inside. He had brought her back again. Minako's happy side did have some annoying side effects. Her penchant for making fun of him at any given opportunity being one of them. But he could live with that. The important thing was that she was happy again.
"Wow, I look like I shit, do I not?" Minako laughed watching herself in the mirror. "This t-shirt stinks of sweat and dirt, and I guess I do no better."
"Well, with all that make-up only partly washed off with some cold water, you do look really fashionable... for a singer in a shock rock band, at least!" Artemis snickered. "If you don't succeed in becoming a pop star, you could always try being the new Alice Cooper!"
"Very funny!" Minako snarled back. "Remember when I painted your little mouth with my lipstick? That really made you look cute! And with your white fur and the moon on your forehead you looked like a perfect mascot for a glam rock band."
"That was not funny at all!" Artemis growled, but he was immediately cut off by a horrifying scream from Minako that almost twisted his heart around.
"M-Minako? What's wrong?" he said in shock.
Minako stood still frozen in position. Her face was white and filled with terror. She was staring hypnotically at the bed.
"Minako!" Artemis said with genuine fear, legs all tensed up and eyes wide open.
"The candy..." she whimpered, pointing at the empty packages and plates on her bed.
Artemis looked at the bed. "Huh?"
"The candy! I ate all the candy! Don't you see? I ate all the cookies, all the candy bars and all the ice cream, and drank the whole bottle of juice too! I'm gonna get fat! I'm gonna gain weight!"
Artemis fell down on the bed making a load groan. That melodramatic blonde little ditz... Scaring him half to death for such a trivial thing!
He sat up again, looking helplessly at the blonde whirlwind that was now hysterically running around the room. Suddenly he felt very, very tired.
"Look at my butt!" Minako yelled and bent over with her back towards Artemis, putting her bottom almost right in his face. "They say that for women, the extra kilos usually stick to the butt first! Has my butt become bigger?"
"Minako..." Artemis sighed and dropped down on the bed again. "You don't gain weight just minutes after eating some candy. Weight gain is the result of a prolonged, unhealthy life style, and I have told you that a million times already."
The princess did not listen. She was too busy thinking of various nightmarish scenarios.
"Besides," he muttered to himself, "if you keep jittering and running around like that all night then you don't have to worry. You'll lose those extra calories and go skinny in—" He stared at the girl. "Minako, what are you doing?"
The blonde had now desperately begun doing squats.
"Must... shed... this... extra... weight..." she huffed while bending and raising her legs. "Can't... let... it... stick..."
Artemis groaned and rolled his eyes. Did she ever listen to anything he said?
He let out a yawn. "Well, if you are done with sticking your stinky butt in my face, I would like to go to bed now."
Laughing, he smoothly dodged the pillow Minako threw at him. He pattered over to his basket and tucked himself up in the blankets. He sleepily peeked at Minako one last time before closing his eyes. She was truly one of a kind. It was unbelievable that the noble leader of the Sailor guardians and that spoiled egocentric kid was one and the same person. Sometimes he wished indeed that he would have been the mentor for someone like Ami or Rei instead of her... but only sometimes. He and Minako belonged together, and he would never let her down.
