Prologue:
Just another Summer Day
"Step right up, folks! Get your cheap fast food here at Ed-to-Go!"
"...Dorks"
The groan that threatened to escape a certain young man proved to be unkempt as it made it's way out anyway, making the boy who uttered it look at his clock in frustration. It was barely past nine o' clock and Kevin was already in a bad mood. Sure, anything having to do with Eddy and his two dorky friends was enough to set him off, but waking him up before it was even past ten was a sin that the Ed's would have to pay later that day.
Not even wanting to put up with trying to go back to his dreamland, Kevin grabbed his hat that set right next to his clock and put it on backwards, his three red hairs becoming erect and sticking up through the gap and plastic adjuster that rubbed against his forehead, a feeling Kevin had been familiar with ever since his dad had bought it for him. He smiled at the memory but once again heard Eddy yelling, sounding like his voice was enhanced with a mega phone of sorts, which only annoyed him even more.
As Kevin changed from his night time attire, a white muscle shirt and some grey shorts, to his usual day time attire he remembered the first time he was scammed by the three mischief makers of the cul-de-sac. It was the day his father had bought him his first bike and when he was test driving it around the lane he was approached by Eddy who promised him that him and his friends could "make that baby shine like a three hundred dollar nickel." Of course, him being young and naïve at the time, he gladly let the trio handle the duties of shining his new bike. Curiosity did not kill the cat, but the cat did end up pummeling the curiosity to a pulp.
As he was reminiscing, he did not realize he was fully dressed and already heading out the door. Only slightly confused at how distracted he had been, he made his way to where a makeshift counter rested in front of the three-haired Ed boy's house. Noticing that all of the neighborhood kids had already been suckered in and was actually in a line to eat this crud was bad enough, but to see that Nazz had been suckered in just made his blood boil. Nobody messed with her and got away with it. Not that he had a crush on her or anything like that. The notion of something like that would just be ridiculous.
After joining in behind Nazz, she turned to greet him with a smile, something that set his heart aflutter every time he seen it.
"Hey Kev, what's up?" The preppy girl asked, always wearing the same beautiful smile. Kevin simply shrugged and smiled back at her.
"Eh, you know the usual. Just got out of bed and the dorks are already up to somethin'." After Kevin said 'dorks' he fixed Eddy with a glare, who was too caught up in a conversation with Johnny to notice. Nazz just giggled-another thing that made Kevin's heart sigh in happiness.
"Well, who knows, maybe this time they are being honest about something." If this person had been anyone other than Nazz he would have laughed and said something sarcastic, but since this was Nazz he just shrugged again and noticed that it was already Nazz's turn in line. After she ordered something called an "Ed-ka-bob", she walked over to sit at one of the picnic tables with Sarah and Jimmy. He noticed Eddy giving her a lovey look and slammed his hand on the counter, causing Eddy to jump in surprise with a yelp and fix him with a glare.
"What do you want, shovel-chin?" Eddy asked in frustration. Kevin looked at the cruddy menu and simply raised his fist in the three haired Ed's face.
"How about a knuckle sandwich, you dork?" Kevin smirked inwardly at his witty joke and waited for Eddy's response, who was too busy writing something down on his small note pad, something stupid no doubt to counter Kevin's insult without actually saying it to his face. Typical dork.
Kevin simply went to sit with Nazz, hearing Eddy yell at Ed to go get food from his house. The chinless dork yelled something back and skipped his way into the house, leaving Double D in a nervous wreck and began to talk to Eddy. Kevin barely listened to Nazz's conversation with the brats but he heard something about "Mr. YumYum" and paintings or something along those lines.
Just as he was about to add to the conversation topics about his new bike repairs, the ground began to spasm and shake with unbelievable force, causing the kids to stand up from their tables and panic.
"My Great NaNa is headed this way!" Rolf yelled in horror as he began to shake in his shoes. "Run for your lives!" Everyone began to panic and run around like terrified chimps. Except for Kevin of course, sure he yelped in fright a little but he never screamed, that was for sissies. Nazz was gripping his arm so hard that he thought she was going to rip it off, which he would not be mad at. Sometimes the babes just love the muscles that much.
"What's going on Kevin?!" She screamed in his ear in sheer panic. He was about to answer her back, when he seen the chinless dork step outside Eddy's house...with the support beams to his house in tow.
"Let's get out of here!" Kevin yelled as no one even considered disobeying. The kids bolted in all directions as the short dorks house collapsed in a cloud of dirt, dust and debris. Everyone made their way to the closest house, which just so happened to be Kevin's, to take shelter in while the chaos settled down outside.
Kevin kept his back to the door and tried to regain his breath from the sprint. Everyone else was coughing to try and remove the soot from their throats and confirming their safety. Kevin opened his door to see Eddy smacking Ed's head into the ground, looking as red as Rolf's beets with Double D looking to try and defuse the situation.
"Kevin, what are they doing now?" Jimmy asked with his usual shaky and anxious voice. Kevin shut the door and turned back to the group.
"Placing the blame on one another, as always." Kevin rolled his eyes and took off his hat to dust it off, causing some soot to fly off and fall onto his carpet, making sure to remind himself to clean it up later. He opened the door and noticed that the mood had taken a complete one-eighty. Eddy was now dragging Double D down the street with Ed following close behind with a look of pure glee etched onto his face.
"Kevin, are you going to beat them up for us?" Jimmy asked, his voice gathering a bit more courage. Kevin smirked at the notion of giving those dweebs, especially Eddy, a pounding they had well earned at this point. However, Kevin was quite surprised that Jimmy was the one trying to get him to ruffle the Ed's feathers. Eh, guess even fluffy had a spine underneath that marshmallow exterior.
"You bet Fluffy." Kevin said. The kids, except for Nazz, began to cheer him on as he once again opened the door to leave. Before he shut the door, he turned back to the kids and made an announcement.
"My fridge and movie case is open to you guys. Enjoy yourselves while I go pound some dorks." Kevin smiled as the kids cheered once again, boosting his ego considerably as he shut the door and silently followed the Ed's on his ever awesome bike.
If only he had remembered to pack an extra drink before he left.
Tracking the dorks down had not been hard, with Ed's constant gushing over something Kevin could not make out from his distance and hearing Eddy yelling 'Shut up!" every ten seconds. After arriving to Double D's place, Eddy kicked his door in and made his way inside, with the chinless monobrow close behind. He parked his bike in some nearby bushes across the street and silently made his way to the right side of Double D's house. He decided not to go through the front door, just in case one of them was keeping watch. He wanted to do this with stealth and felt that if he did so he would prove he was much smarter than those three dorks combined. He always knew he was, but this was to prove it to them.
As he was heading to the back door, he heard a commotion coming from a small window near the ground and looked down at it, most likely being a window for the basement. After crouching down, he was stunned at what he was looking at.
Sitting in the northeast corner of the basement was a seven foot tall, chrome colored, cylinder shaped object that had all kinds of buttons and other doohickeys that Kevin had no idea how to work.
"Man..I knew Double Dork was smart but...jeez." Kevin just lay in the grass, eying the strange contraption with a sense of wonder. He wondered if he could convince the smart dork to upgrade his trusty bike. Ed seemed to be having fun inside the contraption, looking at the small terminals that filled the device and ran back to his friends, picked them both up and headed inside the machine. Double D recovered from being dumped on the floor and began working one of the terminals.
"What are you dorks up to?" Kevin asked himself as he adjusted his hat, deciding to wait until they were all distracted before making his move. As he watched Ed shove Double D out of the way to fool around with the terminal as well, he began to formulate his plan for which Ed to beat up first. Eddy was the most likely candidate and then he would move on to Ed and maybe Double D, if he did not keep his mouth shut that is.
As he was distracting himself at the prospect of pummeling the three dorks, he began to see and hear the light show going on inside Double D's basement. The machine was rocking around and sparking with electricity as the device began to flash and crackle. Kevin was about to let out a 'what the?' but Double D beat him to the punch of yelling instead of talking.
"The time machine is warping us ten-thousand light-years into outer space!"
After Double D had yelled this statement, the basement began to light up with a crimson light so bright that Kevin had to shield his face from the seizure inducing rave. He began to hear whirring sounds emit from the basement window as the entire place was flooded with a blue light so intense that it even flooded the outside. After a few seconds everything quieted down. The birds resumed their chirping and the wind began to howl once again.
Kevin wiped his eyes and looked into the basement. No more Ed's. The only thing that remained was that weird contraption Double sock head had built, albeit a little bit singed. He wiped his eyes once again and decided to ditch his sneaking technique. He crouched down and kicked open the window. He dropped in and seen the burn marks made all around the walls from the burst of electricity from seconds earlier.
"Come out you dorks!" Kevin yelled out to the empty basement and looked in all directions. No response, just the calming whirrs of the machine and the echoes of his voice from the walls. Kevin did not give up though, he looked under the tarp that once covered the machine, behind the machine, inside it and even throughout the sockheaded dork's house but there was no sign of the trio of con-men.
"Where the heck did they go? If they think their getting away from their beating then they are sadly mistakin'." Kevin proclaimed and punched his palm. He decided to check out the machine once again and noticed that the once blank terminals were back to life and the lights on the device were flashing once more, perhaps signaling that it was ready to use again.
Kevin shrugged and was about to climb out through the window again. Bummer, he was going back to kids without so much as a tooth from one of those dweebs. Well, he could lie and say they ran in terror as soon as they saw him. He was pretty sure they would buy it. As he was about to leave, however, he recalled the words Double D had said before the amateur rave had started.
The time machine is warping us ten-thousand light-years into outer space!
The sock head had said something about a time machine? Really? Kevin raised a dubious eyebrow and climbed back into the dorky sanctuary. Well, seeing as how he had nothing better to do, he began to search for any indication that this was indeed a time machine. He did not have to look long though, as when he looked up to the top of the device he seen a halfway peeled off label that clearly read 'Time Machine'.
"Wow, thanks dork." He chuckled and then the realization hit him like a dump truck full of bricks. A time machine. A real time machine! This thing could send him to any point in time that he desired!
"No way!" Kevin yelled and ran inside to mess around with the terminals to try and go back to the time he wanted. He could go back and stop those dorks from being….nah, that was way too cold. Even for him.
"Double Dork is so cool right now, man!" He yelled in excitement. Sure, he would forget he said it if he seen the sock head again but, at the moment, he truly meant it. That dork actually invented something totally radical for once!
"So..uh..how do you work this stupid thing?" Kevin adjusted one of the knobs a little and pushed a button but nothing he did seemed to alter the machine in any way. Impatience winning over common sense, Kevin pounded on the console and kicked it, causing a spark of electricity to jump out and startle him, knocking him down on his butt.
Before he could so much as yell in surprise, the machine began to once again flash and spark around the basement, creating more holes and burns on the walls. When Double Dork got back, Kevin was sure he would have a heart attack at the sight. The red lights began to flash once again as the machine shook harder and harder, acting like a low key washing machine of sorts. The jolts of electricity and lights got so bad that he fell back from the machines seismic activity, causing him to hit his head on the terminal, knocking him out instantly.
Unbeknownst to him, the machine had just finished its process and warped the jock to an unknown destination. Thousands of light years from Peach Creek, the cul-de-sac, Nazz and everyone else who looked up to him. And even worse, away from his bike.
And he did not even have breakfast yet.
