Well... I was thinking about the Nordics in all their awesomenosity... when this came into my head XD Don't blame me if you end up scarred for life!
Contains hints of NorIce and NorDen. Both characters may be entirely OOC.
ABSOLUTE CRACK, PLEASE DISREGARD ANY FEMALE COUNTRIES.
Iceland's POV
Looking at a map, I'm beginning to realize something. Why did no one else notice it before? It was blatantly obvious.
"Norway?"
"Yes, brother?"
"Why is Denmark one of the tallest Nordic countries even though he has the least landmass?"
Norway hesitated, a slightly foreboding expression crossing his face. He cleared his throat. "Well, frankly, I've been waiting for you to ask this question," he began hesitantly, clearly measuring out his words very, very carefully. "And I guess I've been putting off giving you this..." he cleared his throat again, "This talk." Looking at me meaningfully, I began to understand what he was talking about.
Oh, god. Norway's giving me the talk.
"Umm, Norway," I muttered awkwardly, "I kind of already know all this..."
"No, no. I meant the other talk."
There's another talk? I sure hope it doesn't involve Norway chickening out and leaving me to a drunk Prussia again. "The other talk?" I asked in what I hoped wasn't a too "I'm already mentally scarred, don't make me go through this again" type way, because I was actually interested in hearing this from the point of view of someone I DIDN'T consider absolutely insane.
"Yes. And, considering that this is a far less... awkward subject, I believe I'll be able to teach you in this area myself instead of Prussia." Bracing himself, he began. "So, considering land mass. It doesn't actually count much for height unless they're REALLY large or REALLY small. It actually counts more..." he trailed off, a humiliated expression gluing itself to his face.
"Go on?" I pushed, wondering what he was getting at.
"I-it counts more... down there."
I paused. "You mean-"
"Yes."
"So... Russia's?"
"Massive."
"And... Sealand's?"
"Pretty much microscopic."
"So I have..."
"Pretty average, at 107th place."
"And you're at 67th! That's amazing, Norway!"
"I guess."
"So that means Denmark has the," I hesitated, calculating. "One hundred thirty-fourth largest... thing? That's what it all counts for?"
"Unfortunately for me."
"Wait, what?"
"Nothing..."
XD sorry, once I came up with the idea, I couldn't resist... Feedback pleez!
