The origin of this story actually started kind of funny. The "There I was, minding my own business" opening was sort of a challenge from someone I know, so I gave it a try, and I've wanted to do a story in first person for a while now.

So either way, I hope you like random groups as much as I do, because Lois, Lex, Oliver and Kara are about to be go on one crazy ride...

And yes, I know I stole the title for the story from the Hobbit. I really couldn't think of anything good, though. Hmm, maybe that's how you tell if it's a good story... I'll probably change the title when I think of something better. Remember, this is a work in progress. :)

PROLOGUE:

There I was, minding my own business.

It was pouring rain, and I was driving down a deserted highway outside of Smallville. It was hard to see through the windshield, as it was the middle of the night, not to mention the horrible storm, and I think one of the lights in my car wasn't working. All this combined, you can imagine I was having trouble just keeping the car on the road.

My radio was supposed to be blasting music from a Whitesnake CD, but the stereo had stopped working about a half-hour back.

I was minding my own business. I swear. I know, most people who know me probably wouldn't believe that, but this time, I really was. I blame everything that happened on Lex Luthor. He was better off as a villain.

Because it was HIS car that came flying out of nowhere. You heard me. Flying. Literally flying out of nowhere.

I slammed my foot on the breaks, cursing loudly, but the road was wet and slippery, and I didn't really have time to think about what was happening. I saw Lex's face in the front seat of his car, before the two vehicles hit each other.

I screamed.


Twelve Hours Earlier...

Okay, I should probably explain. My name is Lois Lane. I'm a reporter. I currently live in Metropolis, but also kind of part-time on a farm in a town out in the middle of nowhere in Kansas called Smallville. It's known as the Meteor Capital of the world. It's also the home of all the weirdest events in history, and I'm not kidding. My fiancee was probably had a lot to do with that...

But you already know all this already, don't you?

Well, I bet you've never heard this particular story. Even by Smallville standards, it's pretty weird. And that's saying a lot.

It starts on a rainy Tuesday afternoon in Metropolis. I was sitting at my desk, eating a giant burrito with watery guacamole and too much (overripe) vegetables and not enough cheese. And don't even start lecturing me on my eating habits. I've heard it all before.

I work for the Daily Planet, which is without a doubt (in my opinion) Metropolis's most respected newspaper. I had just gotten a promotion recently, and was still settling into my new office, which is why it was a mess. It has nothing to do with me being a generally messy person.

Really.

But anyway, back to the story. I was writing up an article, eating the off-flavor burrito, and listening to the patter of the rain hitting the windows.

I was having trouble focusing. At the time, I really had no idea why, but thinking back, it was probably my reporter instincts kicking in. I sensed something big was coming, I just didn't realize it yet.

I picked up my coffee cup, taking a swig, but made a face when I realized it was cold. Damn. Too bad Clark wasn't here to super-breathe it back to hot. I set the no-good coffee back down on the desk, dumped the rest of the burrito in the garbage, because I was afraid I'd get food-poisoning from it, and turned back to my article.

"Ms. Lane," said a voice.

I jumped, knocking a stack of papers and my coffee cup off my desk, and fell off my chair. Don't laugh. Let's see how you react to a voice when you think you're alone in a room.

After picking myself up off the floor, and trying to get as much coffee off my shirt as possible, I looked to see who my visitor was.

"Geez, ever hear of knocking, buster? Or even announcing you're here instead of sneaking up on someone?" I snapped, glaring up at him, and froze. "Lex Luthor?"

"Hello," he said, smiling. Well, it seemed more of a combination of a smirk and a sneer to me. I glared at him. Just in that one hello I could hear the mocking in it. Anger bubbled in my stomach, and even more so that Lex seemed perfectly calm. So, I put on a neutral expression, and stared him in the eye.

"What do you want?" I said.

"Still as rude as ever," Lex said. "Haven't you ever learned proper etiquette, Ms. Lane?"

"Can it, baldy. What are you doing in my office?" I retorted. He looked around.

"Is there anywhere I can sit?" he said.

"No."

"Ah."

I crossed my arms, waiting for him to make the first move. He raised an eyebrow, before finally speaking.

"I need you to write an article for me."

"Hmm," I replied in an uninterested tone. "And why, good sir, would you be asking me of all people?"

"We all know you're a good reporter," Lex said.

I grinned. I'd wanted to hear him say that. "Oh, really? So I guess calling me a muffin-peddling college dropout didn't work for you?"

"That was a long time ago," he said. "And beside the point. This could be a great story for you, Ms. Lane."

"Uh huh," I replied, and started typing on my computer again. Yeah right, Luthor, like I'd be doing anything for you any time soon.

He put an envelope on the desk. "It would be worth it."

I opened the envelope, and forgot about hiding my growing temper. "Money? You think you can BRIBE ME?" I said, my voice rising in octaves and volume with each word.

Lex didn't even flinch. "That's only a bonus for your services."

"My services?!"

I was preparing to start throwing things at him, famous billionaire or not. I yanked out the bills, crumpled them up (okay, I admit I was a teensy bit sad to waste so much money), and tossed them in the trash can.

"That's my opinion of you and your money," I said angrily.

Damn it, the bastard still didn't budge, expression included.

"You do realize, you haven't even heard what I want you to write."

"Some sort of lie, no doubt," I said grumpily, dropping into my chair.

"I was actually working on a drug to help autistic children," said Lex quietly.

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"You're not supposed to believe anything," Lex said. "It's by choice. I'm asking you to trust me."

I snorted. "When pigs fly, I'll consider your offer."

Lex smiled dryly. "That can be arranged," he said.

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

He nodded. "I see you won't be changing your mind anytime soon," he said.

"Took you long enough to figure that out," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," I smiled at him, though I think we both knew it was a fake smile. I'm really good at doing those. Finally, he left, and I turned back to my article, but couldn't focus any more. I sighed, shoving a bunch of papers in a drawer, and decided to get a cup of coffee.

The rest of the afternoon was no fun, to say the least. I worked on a few more articles at the planet, but none of them seemed to go anywhere, and I fell asleep in the middle of typing them. Jimmy woke me up about a half hour later, and had brought me a cup of coffee. That helped a little.

Until I spilled it all over my keyboard, destroying it in the process.

Ugh!

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl into a hole and stay there for all eternity until everything goes away? Because today was probably one of those days.

I feel kind of bad now, because I think I took out a lot of my crankiness (the meeting with Lex had really done a number on me) on Jimmy and a new intern kid. He ran away crying. Great. Now I'm a horrible person!

Jimmy just got another cup of coffee for me and said Perry wanted me to take the rest of the day off. I disagreed, and broke a heel on the way back to my office, and decided maybe I could use a day off. Clark was in a different galaxy at the moment, playing ambassador for some issue or another, and maybe I was missing him more than I realized.

As I headed towards my car, the rain started up again, and I was very wet by the time I reached the door and climbed in. I headed back to my apartment. About an hour later, I was on the couch in sweats and a hoodie, drinking another cup of coffee and eating ice cream while I surfed through channels on the TV, looking for something interesting.

And this is about where the weirdness really starts.

The storm was at its worst, the wind was howling. I didn't really mind, I was comfortable in the apartment with the heater on, and a knitted afghan keeping me warm. The only thing missing was a certain plaid-wearing farm-boy...

But then, the phone rang.

I really wish I hadn't answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Lois? It's Kara."

"Kara? Hey, what's up?" I said, surprised. We hadn't heard from Clark's cousin for a while. Last I heard, she was travelling the universe looking for the lost city of Argo or something like that. I know, I know, I should keep up better with what's going on. Sue me.

"Lois, can you, um, come out to the farm?" Kara asked.

"Now?" I asked. I glanced at the window. "Why, is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure, but there's something going on, and I need your help. Please."

I wasn't really sure how to react to that. It was pouring outside. The roads were probably really dangerous this time, and it was a long ride to Smallville. But if it was an emergency, I certainly couldn't leave Kara alone.

"Alright, I'm on my way," I sighed.

I wish I wasn't such an idiot. If my brain had been functioning properly at the time, it might have suggested Kara superspeed or fly out here, and if she needed me on the farm, could superspeed or fly us both back.

But no, instead of my brain functioning properly, I got dressed, put on a coat, grabbed my car keys, and drove to Smallville.

And there I was, minding my own business. Okay, so maybe I wasn't completely, but it wasn't like I was nosing around and looking for a story. I was going to help someone. That was a good reason to be out, wasn't it? I didn't deserve this.

It was pouring rain, and I was driving down a deserted highway outside of Smallville. It was hard to see through the windshield, as it was the middle of the night, not to mention the horrible storm, and I think one of the lights on my car wasn't working. All this combined, you can imagine I was having trouble just keeping the car on the road.

My radio was supposed to be blasting music from a Whitesnake CD, but the stereo had stopped working about a half-hour back. That didn't help my mood, and I wished I could be back home curled up on the couch drinking coffee and watching TV. But I was coming to help Kara. The things you do for family. Or, well, family to be.

I was minding my own business. I swear. I know, most people who know me probably wouldn't believe that, but this time, I really was. Sort of.

I blame everything that happened on Lex Luthor. He was better off as a villain, and no good trying to be a good guy. I'm not prejudiced, I'm really not. He called me a muffin-peddling college dropout a long time ago, and I had no reason to hold a grudge up till now.

And I'm one of the best reporters now, so how do you like that, Mr. Luthor?

But I still blame Lex for what happened next.

Because it was HIS car that came flying out of nowhere.

You heard me.

Flying.

Literally flying out of nowhere.

I slammed my foot on the breaks, cursing loudly, but the road was wet and slippery, and I didn't really have time to think about what was happening. I saw Lex's face in the front seat of his car, before the two vehicles hit each other.

I screamed.

And everything went still...

To be Continued...

Hmm. So, I gave up on my mystery. I couldn't get it going. It just wasn't coming to me. So I have this instead. It's a little more my style. More humorous. Focuses more on the characters and less on the plotline.

Anyway, review, of course, because otherwise you'll all be on a cliffhanger for a while... :D