Because I Can

Wednesday 12th September

Siwan opened his locker to search for his history textbook, trying his best to pay attention to Kwanghee as he continuously updated him on the gossip of their classmates. Siwan really did try to look interested, but he was the new kid in school and didn't know the names that Kwanghee was spewing rather loudly in his ear. Siwan pulled out his textbook and slammed his locker shut. He made a non-committal noise to assure Kwanghee that he was still listening and flicked his head left and right glancing down the corridor in a vain attempt to remember which way he needed to go to get to his history class.

As he looked over Kwanghee's shoulder, trying not to admit that he had to stand on his tip-toes to do so, he locked eyes with a pair of brown eyes which stared back unblinkingly. Siwan lowered himself back down allowing Kwanghee's head to block the gaze, the heels of his stylish boots hitting the floor. He had bought the boots for their large heels which graced him with a couple of extra centimetres. He told others he bought the boots because they were on sale.

"Hey! Im Siwan! Are you listening to me?"

At the mention of his name, Siwan looked sharply at Kwanghee, feeling mildly guilty for completely spacing out. He had only been at this school for a week, and didn't have enough friends to be rude to anyone who spoke to him. "Sorry. What were you saying?"

"I said, we're going to be late." Kwanghee grabbed Siwan tightly by his arm and began to pull him down the corridor, bumping into people as they went. "My mum will freak if I she gets told I'm tardy again." He shot over his shoulder as Siwan stumbled slightly behind him as he tried to keep up, his feet slipping on his shoe lifts.

It was later that day, as Siwan hurried a few minutes late into his geography class, when he saw that piercing gaze once more. He mumbled his apologies to the teacher before he slipped into his seat at the front of the room. He felt numerous pairs of eyes on him and he tried not to squirm where he sat. Everyone always stared at the new kid. He was a fresh specimen to examine.

After half an hour had passed, however, Siwan still felt like his every move was being watched. He put it down to paranoia, but still he tried to surreptitiously look behind him. When he tilted his head right, he met the eyes across the room in the row behind. Siwan snapped his head back to the front, trying to ignore the warmth that was spreading across his cheeks and hurriedly copied down the words from the board onto his page. He could still feel the eyes etching a pattern into his skull. He tried to work out why, wondering if perhaps there was something stuck on his head. He ran a hand through his hair, but discovered nothing. As the lesson ticked on slowly, Siwan wondered if perhaps the boy could read minds, but almost laughed out loud with the idiocy of the thought. In the end, he decided that he was being ridiculous, that he wasn't being watched and that the uncomfortable feeling was paranoia after being stared at continuously for the past week for being the new kid. He didn't look behind him for the rest of the lesson, not wanting to be wrong.

Friday 14th September

Siwan sat in the cafeteria, biting into his sandwich and listening to Kwanghee's energetic conversation with Minwoo across the table. Minwoo was a friendly boy from Siwan's chemistry class and he had a penchant for irritating Kwanghee, which naturally meant they were good friends.

Siwan interrupted their conversation to ask the question that had been burning on his tongue ever since he had sat down and spotted the eyes that had been haunting him. "Who is he?" Kwanghee's head snapped round, sharp eyes finding Siwan's source of interest immediately. Minwoo peered over his shoulder, with only a little more subtlety than Kwanghee's boisterous movements.

"That," Kwanghee said, not bothering to lower his voice as he leaned in, "is Jung Heechul."

Siwan mouthed the name, testing it out, rolling it around his mouth before swalling it. Minwoo watched him and let out a high-pitched laugh, the unusual noise attracting some glances from a nearby table.

Siwan walked into his geography class amongst a stream of other students. He had managed to reach it on time for once as he was beginning to remember the layout of the corridors around the school. He dropped his bag on the floor and pulled out his textbook and pencil case. The sounds of his classmates' chatter floated around him, none of which was directed at him; he still didn't know very many people. Instead, he filled up the time before class started by flicking his pen cap on and off and watching the straggling lines of students drape reluctantly into the room. Siwan's eyes followed Heechul as he entered the room, the pen lid clicked down decisively. Siwan half expected to meet the intrusive gaze as Heechul passed by his desk, but he got ignored.

Siwan tried not to be irritated by this, but continued to watch as Heechul slid into his seat, pulled his books out and dropped his head into his hands. Heechul nodded casually in greeting to a friend who sat down at the desk next to him, the corners of his lips curling up in a small smile. Siwan didn't really want to admit that he was attractive. Before he could muster up the courage to admit it to himself, the teacher walked in and Siwan faced the front to learn about the movement of glaciers.

Tuesday 30th September

"Siwan! Where are you going?" Kwanghee yelled down the corridor.

Siwan rolled his eyes and turned back to answer. "The library."

Kwanghee scrunched his face in detestation. He had been kicked out of the library numerous times already for his inability to keep his voice at an appropriate level. Siwan had quickly learnt that the library was the one place in the school where Kwanghee was unlikely to follow him and had taken to spending his free periods amongst the bookshelves in order to get some work done as opposed to gossiping about people he didn't really know.

Siwan found an empty table at the back and surrounded himself with his textbooks and worksheets, determined to finish his Physics homework with a perfect score. He could try at least.

He hadn't been working through the problems for ten minutes when he was interrupted by the librarian.

"Siwan?" Her wispy voice cut through his concentration. She had become slightly fonder of him ever since he stopped turning up with Kwanghee in tow. "Heechul is catching up on a test. Make sure he doesn't cheat."

Siwan looked up and gave a small smile, clearing some of his books out the way as Heechul sat down opposite him. Heechul mirrored his smile out of politeness.

They worked in silence for half an hour, Siwan occasionally looking up to run his eyes over the figure before him, watching his brow crease as he tried to work out the correct answer. Siwan almost jumped out of his skin when Heechul spoke. "Why do you hang around with him?"

"What?" Was his intelligent reply. Siwan met the piercing gaze, feeling like Heechul was reading his every thought. He made an effort not to think about how attractive Heechul was, just in case.

"Kwanghee. Why do you tolerate him?"

"I don't understand." Siwan wanted to slap himself, mentally cursing his sudden lack of intellect.

Heechul's lips curled up slightly in amusement. "I'm asking why you spend so much time with him when he clearly irritates you enough for you to spend your frees in the library."

Siwan thought before he spoke this time, determined to not make any more of a fool of himself. "He's not that bad. He means well, I only come here so I can get some work done."

Heechul chuckled, his teeth showing as he laughed. "If you want to get some work done, stop staring at me."

Siwan stared down at his work and picked up his pen, clutching it angrily, his cheeks heating up in a mixture of rage and embarrassment. Heechul laughed once more and left the table.

When the bell finally rang signalling the end of the period and the beginning of lunch, Siwan stood up and gathered his already closed books. He hadn't been able to concentrate since Heechul left. He was haunted by images of those eyes coupled with his laughter at Siwan's expense. Siwan's anger was mostly directed at himself. He barely knew the guy and somehow Heechul had managed to rattle him with just one sentence; cause Siwan to blush with his unwavering gaze, invading Siwan's thoughts and butchering his concentration.

Siwan sat down next to Kwanghee at the lunch table, neglecting to greet his friends. Minwoo was the first to notice his sullen mood.

"What did the library do to you?"Minwoo raised an eyebrow, slight concern in his eyes.

"Nothing." Siwan forced a tight-lipped smile which wouldn't fool anyone. Minwoo didn't lower his eyebrow, but he stayed silent, not pressing for answers. Siwan tried hard to lighten his mood and join in with the conversation, determined not to let his irritation with himself spoil his friends' day.

This resolve lasted long enough for Siwan to reach his geography room. He felt the gaze on the back of his head as soon as he sat down. He glanced once to his right and saw Heechul in the row behind, staring unblinkingly and unabashedly at him. Siwan shifted to face the front once again and didn't move for the remaining hour of the day. He felt the eyes watch him as he left the classroom after the bell rang. He didn't feel like he could breathe until his car door slammed shut and he had left the school grounds.

Friday 3rd October

Siwan worked through his free period and into lunch at the back of the library in peace, flicking through pages in his textbook, punching numbers into his calculator, and scribbling down the answers, trying to keep his handwriting somewhat legible.

The chair opposite his scraped against the floor as it was dragged back. Siwan glanced up and paused as he found Heechul staring at him, smiling slightly.

"Do you spend all your hours in the library? Is Kwanghee that bad?"

Siwan scowled. "No." He answered shortly, looking back down at his calculator, copying the numbers down on his page. He stabbed the calculator and gritted his teeth in annoyance as he hit the wrong numbers.

Heechul chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. As Siwan retyped the numbers, Heechul reached across the table and picked up the page with Siwan's answers. "You got question 3c wrong."

Siwan looked up and breathed deeply trying to keep his cool, meeting Heechul intimidating gaze. "Why are you doing this?"

Heechul stood up and smirked at Siwan. He handed back the work, a rough red circle had been drawn around the wrong answer. "Because I can."