The Sting

Rin hated Haruka.

And it was all Haruka's fault.

These were the facts that Haruka kept with him. It was what first popped into his head whenever Rin came up. Such negative thoughts bothered Haruka, so he tried to avoid the subject all together. But sometimes, in the dead of night, memories of Rin wriggled through Haruka's mind leaving him unable to concentrate on sleep. And all that was left in Haruka's thoughts were the memories of the upset and broken look that he caused to appear on Rin's face. And how all good feelings Rin had towards Haruka went away.

As Haruka got older, he tried to move on. When Rin flowed into his mind, he'd think about what Makoto might say to him.

"It's not your fault Haru. I mean, how could it be?"

Something like that? Haruka thought. No, it probably be even more mushy. It was times like that, when Haruka thought about telling Makoto about Rin's and Haruka's secret race but he didn't want to give Makoto another reason to worry about him. He's overbearing enough as it Haruka thought turning on his bed.

Haruka was able to sleep more as the years went by, but then the night of Rin's return brought him right back to where he was before. The day Haruka ruined everything he had with Rin.

"I want you to show me that sight again. I've forgotten what it is I saw" Haruka smirked. To be honest, he could have cared less about racing Rin. And to be truly honest, Haruka didn't even know where he was going with this.

"Sure, I can do that. But it won't be the same this time" Rin said with equal confidence. "I'll be showing you something completely different."

"Take your marks" Makoto said as the two stood on the starting blocks.

As Haruka took his mark, he tried to concentrate on the water he was about to dive into. But all that was in his mind were memories of Rin again. But this time, it wasn't the sad, heartbreaking memories Haruka normally thought of, it was the good memories. Of them in sixth grade together, running to swim practice with Makoto and Nagisa. It was the annoyed but playful look on Rin's face when Haruka called him Rinrin. And it was the last time Haruka saw Rin at the relay and how it was Rin's stupid idea that made it all possible. Rin made Haruka set aside his personal feelings about swimming. Rin gave him a sight he had never seen before.

Haruka wanted that Rin back.

"Go"

So when Haruka dove off the board, he knew what he had to do.

"You won Rin" Haruka quietly said mentioning the obvious. Will this really bring the old Rin back? Haruka thought. But when Rin grabbed Haruka by the goggles around his neck forcing Haruka to look right in to Rin's eyes.

They say that eyes are the gateway to the soul. And looking in, Haruka was convinced he'd wouldn't get the old Rin back. At least, not this way.

Oh great. Now he hates me more Haruka thought. For a short moment, Haruka thought about telling Rin why he threw the race but I bet he wouldn't even care Haruka thought. So Haruka just let Rin walk away again. Needless to say, it was a long and sleepless night for Haruka.

Time moved on again. And now everyone knew about how Haruka beat Rin when he came back from Australia winters ago. Rei was also an official member of the Iwatobi Swim Team. Even though Haruka was so reluctant to returning to competitive swimming, everything was a great, big, sometimes messy distraction but he was swimming. And that's all that really mattered.

Right?

In the years that Haruka knew Rin, he could remember four distinguishable feelings. An almost-not-annoyed feeling he felt during the time up until Rin announced his move to Australia. Which was the closest Haruka had ever felt to furious. The next would be amazed during and after the relay. It was easily the happiest Haruka had ever felt. Of course he'd never admit to it out loud. And the last, guilt.

So when it was decided the Iwatobi and Samezuka would have a joint practice Haruka really wanted to look forward to being in the water but Rin was going to be there. And Haruka knew where his money was on which of the four feelings he'd be at.

When they arrived, Haruka forced himself to concentrate completely on the water. And once he was in, luckily it was easy. It wasn't until Rei's near-drowning fiasco that forced Haruka's head over to Rin. Haruka wasn't sure why he did it because he knew nothing good could from it. And unfortunately the feeling was worse than Haruka could have even imagined.

Rin had stopped paying attention to Rei and gone back to talking some kid next to him, the kid looked like a first year. He was smiling Rin who wasn't quite smiling back but it seemed about as close as the current Rin was giving out these days. Still, it reminded him of how Rin use to smile at Haruka.

Whoever this kid was, Haruka already didn't like him. The kid didn't look fast at all, so why was Rin even associating himself with him. And the more Haruka concentrated on the kid, the less special he became. I mean, even his hair cut is laughable Haruka thought, loosing all focus on swimming.

"Is something wrong Haru?" Makoto asked taking a break from his set.

It was times these, Haruka wished Makoto wasn't so observant. He didn't feel like explaining himself and just shrugged. Haruka figured Makoto had already read his mind and just decided to let him talk.

"Hmm" Makoto started looking in the direction Haruka was faced towards before. "I think I overheard that person over there is Rin's roommate. Nitori is his name, I think".

Makoto was all to good at reading Haruka's mind. Haruka just nodded back in response. Just before Haruka went back to swimming Makoto asked.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am" Haruka lied, doubtful Makoto even believed him, but he usually got the signs to back off when Haruka didn't want to talk about something.

"Okay" Makoto responded. Yep, definitely not convinced Haruka thought continuing his free set.

For the rest of practice, the water wasn't doing what Haruka needed it to. Instead of emptying his mind, occasionally, thoughts of Rin and that Nitori kid would come out of nowhere and made Haruka force himself to go faster and fall out of sync with the water. But why did it even bother him to much?

Right when practice ended, Haruka had never gotten out of the water so compliantly before. He was sure Makoto had a look of concern on his face. But Haruka didn't care about that. He was trying to get a final glimpse of the reason why he couldn't get along with the water today. And there it was, in all it's glory. Rin exchanged a few words and another slight smile with Nitori and went ahead to the locker room. Haruka wasn't sure what he expected but now all he could think about was getting the hell out of this school.

So Haruka picked up all his belongings and started walking towards the exit in just his bathing suit.

"Ah, Haru-chan!" Haruka ignored Nagisa shouting behind him. "Where are you going?"

At least it wasn't Makoto. He's a little harder to ignore.

By the time Haruka made it outside the pool, there wasn't anymore shouting. Haruka's best guess was that Makoto told Nagisa some cookie-cutter thing like "Haru just needs to be along right now".

Once Haruka was outside, he put his shoes back on and started run home. Haruka didn't want to think about anything or anyone especially not those two. But all that was left was this feeling in his chest. He didn't know what it was, he'd never felt it before, at least never with Rin. The last time Haruka had ever felt this way was in his first year of high school.


There was an assignment that required the students to work in pairs to put on a presentation about the historical time period each group was assigned. Not being able to work alone was bad enough for Haruka but the absolute worse part was that the pairings were random. So, of course he wasn't able to work with Makoto.

Haruka played his part in the partnership with some random he definitely couldn't remember the name of and the project turned out fine. But through the whole process, Makoto seemed to always be busy working with his project partner, a girl named Aki. And don't get confused, the only reason Haruka had remembered her name was because Aki use to belong to the Iwatobi Swim Club in elementary school too.

Not only that, but Makoto seemed to have to no time to even casually hangout with Haruka. He was starting to doubt that they were actually getting work done if it was taking them so long to finish. He knows all I basically do is sit all alone in this house all day Haruka thought. So why is he doing this to me. But Haruka was aware of how selfish it would be if he expressed his feelings. He didn't want to give Makoto a reason to hate him too.

It wasn't until the rumor started about Aki having a crush on Makoto did Haruka take action. And action was a very strong word for what Haruka did.

One night, Haruka decided that he should just tell Makoto how he felt even if he hated him, maybe, just maybe he'd understand and put off dating Aki for max, like, six months so he could get use to the idea of being completely alone.

"Haru? What a nice surprise." Makoto said when he picked up the phone. "Wait, this isn't an emergency or anything?"

"No, everything's fine" Haruka said making sure to relieve any anxiety Makoto had. He wasn't exactly lying. Haruka was at least physically fine.

"Okay, good. Then what's up"

Haruka thought for a moment of how to phrase his thoughts. Although he had went over the conversation several times in is head, all of that dialog had suddenly disappeared. And all that came out was "Do you like Aki?". Of which, Haruka knew was a very stupid question but he had the confidence that Makoto knew where Haruka was going with this.

"Like have a crush on her?" Makoto asked to clarify.

"Yeah"

"No, I don't" Makoto said. "Sorry, I probably made it seem like there was maybe something between us with us working on the project all the time. But I promise you we're just project partners" he explained.

"Okay" Haruka said keeping up the one word responses.

"Ah, I probably should have started with this but we just finished today too. I'm really sorry about this whole thing taking up so much time"

It really annoyed Haruka how apologetic Makoto got about stuff that wasn't even his fault. He wanted to yell at him to stop but Haruka just decided to let Makoto indulge. Plus this was the longest conversation with just Makoto in a few weeks. Most of their talking consisted of Makoto asking a general "How is going?" or "What's up" and Haruka giving the most general one word responses that he could.

"We had to start all over at one point and well, just a bunch of other really tedious stuff. But if you want to I can come over now and we can do a sleepover?"

"Sure"

"I'll be over in about thirty minutes" Makoto said.

"And Haru" Makoto paused just in case Haruka decided to give another one word response. He didn't though. "You don't ever have to worry that I'm replacing you or anything like that".

Was that what he was worried about? Haruka thought.

"Your my first priority. Okay?"

What a stupid statement Haruka thought. Makoto always talked like the present was going to last forever and always forgot about the future and what it holds. Like girlfriends, a wife, kids and there was certainly no room for Haruka to be Makoto's "first priority".

"If you say so" Haruka responded.


For the first time, Haruka's worst nightmare was coming true. The old Rin might still exist but it would never be with Haruka. He stopped running for a moment to look up at the sky. Why Haruka did this, he didn't even know. But there was something he knew for sure. Haruka knew why he was so annoyed at Nitori.

Haruka was being replaced and there was nothing he could do about it.

Because Rin hated Haruka.

And it was all Haruka's fault.


AN: This story was intended to be a one shot for the Free! Kink Meme but depending on the response to this, I might write some more b/c I have some more ideas but we'll see. And just in case you're interested, I wrote all this listening to The Neighbourhood and the title is actually the name of one of their songs (the exact songs actually $ting but whatever). You should definitely check them out, especially if you need some darker or sad sounding songs to listen to while you write.