TRTSS42: Ranma's Lost Wives! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a one-shot story.
Author's Note: I'm surprised that no one mentioned this, but there are four characters that are supposed to be married to Ranma, but haven't been referred to in a LONG time. So, here is that story. As always, C&C are welcomed.
One day, a revelation hit the head upon one Ranma Saotome, with some prodding from a certain Moon Princess.
"Ranma, I wanted to know if you've heard from Brianna lately," Usagi said, as she walked into Ranma's office at the Rantsu Foundation building, located in the heart of Tokyo, Japan. The Rantsu Foundation served as Ranma and Usagi humanitarian interests, thanks to years of building up a massive fortune over the years. Not to mention, the foundation did help shelter their wealth.
Ranma looked up from his work.
"What?" Ranma asked.
"Well, a friend of mine discovered an archeological site where an Atlantean Outpost sits, and, since the site is filled with ancient technology, I figured Brianna would want a crack at it before either Homeworld Security or the Atlanteans get word of its location."
"Um, yeah," Ranma said, as he sits down his pen. "Who is 'Brianna'?"
"Um, what?" Usagi said incredulously. "You DO know who Brianna is, yes?"
"Um, can you remind me?"
"Clone of Brittany and Gina Diggers, with Brittany being a full-blooded 'were-cheetah'?"
"Um, no…"
"Gina is the daughter of Julia and Theodore, who were our students in the 1950s?"
"I'm getting closer to remembering something…"
"Okay, Brianna has an unhealthy fascination with heavy ordinance?"
"Feh. That description REALLY narrows the field."
"She served with us aboard the SDF-1 as a Destroid commander, remember? She followed us to Macross Island the day Earth was invaded by the Zentraedi, and later became a member of the Global Peace Agency as a UN Spacy liaison to that agency…?"
"Wait a minute…"
TING!
"BRIANNNA!" Ranma yelled.
"Calm down, Ranma," Usagi said.
"Oh, my gosh, I completely forgot about her."
"Well, obviously."
"No, you don't understand," Ranma said, as he rummages through a pile of mail that has been sitting in a pile for months. "Last time I spoke to Brianna, she said she was on the trail of a missing Robotechnologist, one who felt that UN Spacy didn't allow him to go further in his research of the Flowers of Life."
"Wait. That sounds like Dr. Lazlo Zand's modus operandi."
"Who?"
"Zand was an up-and-coming protégé of Dr. Emil Lang, whom you know has spearheaded the research into protoculture and protoculture-based technology."
"Yeah, with our help," Ranma said in a gruff.
"Ranma, I really wish you wouldn't be so anti-science," Usagi replied.
"No, I'm just anti-scien-TIST. They tend to be amoral jerks that are more likely to create the very problems that you and I have to deal with on a regular basis. They are no different from the wizards we had to deal with back in the old days, who tend to summon monsters and demons in their pursuit of power."
"Be as it may, Dr. Lang has done good work. In fact, the Mishima Zaibatsu has been commissioned by UN Spacy to further the research, but in the area of robotics, cybernetics and bionics."
"Yeah, I heard about the startup company Mishima is sponsoring," Ranma replied. "What is it called? The Genom Project or something?"
"The Genom Corporation, formerly the 'G-Corporation'," Usagi said. "With the new protoculture power cells that are being developed, artificial constructs will be revolutionized. We don't have to worry about using nuclear fuel cells that could pose a risk, and certainly we'll be further along than using hydrogen fuel cell technology as a dependable power source, which I believe will be used for the development of android and cybernetic technology."
"I don't know," Ranma said, as he pulls out an envelope marked urgent. "Leave it up to the government to screw things up…"
Pause.
"Here we go," Ranma said, as he pulls out a digital chip from the envelope. "You'd think that for something that is marked 'urgent', a phone call would have been made…"
"Whatever," said Usagi, as she takes the chip from Ranma, and slides it into the digital camera, that she had in pocket space. "Let's see what this thing says…"
Meanwhile, in a secret lair, the so-called "Ranma's Lost Wives" were milling about the containment field, and has been for weeks.
"Can't believe it," Brianna said, as she paced back and forth. She then turned towards the other captives.
"Where the hell is he?"
"Ranma will be here," Bra, daughter of Vegeta and Bulma said, as she meditated on the floor of the containment field.
"You're only saying that because you're the last of us to be kidnapped by this demented…bastard."
"I have to agree with Bra on this, Brianna," said Lady Miko Rantsu, as she continued to play her lute. "Ranma has not let us down before."
"Well, he's certainly taking his sweet time about it…"
"Okay, what do YOU think, Walters?" Brianna said, as she turned towards Jennifer Walters, aka "She-Hulk". Due to the nature of the containment field, everyone's extraordinary powers were being nullified. In Jennifer's case, she couldn't "hulk-out" like she normally could.
"I'm thinking about how much I can sue the pants off our host," Jennifer replied.
"Always a lawyer, aren't you?"
Eve (a second generation xenomorph hybrid) takes a look around the room. Unlike her predecessor Sil, Eve was more human than xenomorph, and could control her urges to mate. In fact, she chose Ranma to be her mate, instead of her counterpart Patrick (infected xenomorph hybrid mutant, caused by a failed mission to the planet Mars), seeing how Ranma was a superior male. Thankfully, Ranma's wife Usagi, a xenomorph hybrid herself, taught Eve to master the inner alien within her, which has allowed Eve to have a normal life…
"Are you okay, miss?" USAF Captain Penelope "Penny" Robinson asked. She still couldn't believe how she was kidnapped while visiting one of Stargate Commands, off-world facilities without anyone noticing. Then again, since she knows about "Life Model Decoys", it shouldn't be a surprise that the kidnapping was pulled off successfully…
"I am, I suppose," Eve replied. "It's just that being held in this cell brings back bad memories…"
Just then, the heavy door containing the containment field opens up. Three giant, robotic guards, each containing a victim, march into the room, followed by an armed guard in fancy, yellow hazmat suits, followed by a giant, floating head attached to a small body. For some reason, the head wore sunglasses, carried giant microphone and could pass off as a mutant version of the original King of Rock…
"Unhand me, you fool!" yelled K'ommand'r, aka "Blackfire", as she is unceremoniously tossed into the containment field. "Ooof."
"This is outrageous!" said Lady Azonia, of the Meltrandi. Like their male counterparts, the Zentraedi, Meltrandi were female warriors who were ten times the height of normal human females (called "Micronians"). Some how, a band of Micronians managed to both kidnap her and shrink her down to human size.
"I demand-!"
"Shut up, toots!" yelled the guard, as he throws Azonia into the containment field.
"Oof!"
"You'll regret this, so said the daughter of Atlantis!" yelled Namora, cousin of the submariner, before being tossed into containment field. "Ack!"
"What is your game, MODOK?" said Supergirl, as she was tossed into the containment field as well. "Oof!"
"I don't know what's going on, but I'll stop you if you're connected to SkyNet!" Sarah Connors said, as she, too, is tossed into the containment field, even though she was an ordinary human.
"First, the name's 'MEMPHIS'; I'm a much better stylist than my brother MODOK, sugah," said MEMPHIS. "Secondly, you all are here because of this man…"
From his forehead module, a holographic image of Ranma appears.
"We KNOW that, Elvis impersonator," Jennifer said. "But who commissioned 'AIM' to kidnap US?"
The acronym "AIM" stood for "Advanced Idea Mechanics", a spin-off of the terrorist organization (and former "deep science division" of Nazi Germany's "Third Reich") "Hydra". Unlike Hydra, AIM had no problem with dealing with legal or extra-legal organizations, including Hydra, Cobra and a number of criminal enterprises or rogue nations. Unfortunately, most countries, including the United States itself, tend to have a hands-off policy on AIM's legitimate business, leaving entities like SHIELD to deal with AIM's extra-legal operations on the margins.
"Humph," MEMPHIS replied. "You'll never know THAT, sugar-pie. Nevertheless, you are all my guests until Saotome arrives…"
Pause.
"And if he doesn't, every one of you lovely ladies will experience my 'Hunka-Hunka-Burning Love'…with a BANG. Ow!"
"You will pay for this indignation!" Blackfire yelled.
"Ooo, I'm all shook up!" MEMPHIS said mockingly. "You will find that your threats to be genuine, my little filly."
Pause.
"Hey, that could be a stanza for my new song, 'Death of My Tender Loving Heart'," MEMPHIS said. "Come on, fellahs; let's hit the studio. Yo."
With that, MEMPHIS and his henchmen leave the containment cell. Once gone, Sarah turns towards the other women.
"Aren't you guys supposed to be super-heroes or something?" Sarah asked.
"I'm more of a super-VILLAIN," Blackfire said.
"There isn't much we can do right now," Miko said.
"Oh, yeah?" Bra replied. "I'll get us out of here."
"Bra, wait-"
Bra, begins to charge her battle aura, in an attempt to overwhelm the security screens, only to get a sudden feedback loop that caused the Saiyan Princess pain.
"Gah!" Bra yelled, as she collapsed.
"Typical Saiyajin behavior," said the Tamaranian queen. "Acting without thinking."
"At least, I'm trying, you know!"
"Are you okay?" asked Lianna (a member of the Guardians of the Universe), as pale blue-skinned Amazon helped Bra to her feet.
"I am, thank you," Bra said. "Just…a little winded."
"Just as I thought," Lianna said, as she expanded her mind to feel the surroundings. "The cyborg has created a field that would cause an overload in the bio-signatures of the person attempting to overwhelm that field."
"Can't you do something about it?" Supergirl asked. "You're a Guardian, for Rao's sake!"
"If I were to do as you have asked, my power could very well cause great harm to the people who live above us, and you."
"Wait, so we're in a populated area?" Brianna asked.
"That is correct," Lianna said. And then, everyone could see her facial expression change.
"Interesting…"
"What is it?" Jennifer asked.
"It appears that the Moon Princess and her paramour are here," Lianna said.
"Which one?" Penny asked.
"Ranma Saotome has arrived."
"Then my message finally got to him," Brianna said. "Took him long enough…"
Meanwhile, a tour of Graceland, located in the outskirts of Memphis, Tennessee, is taking place.
"And here is the lounge area where Mr. Presley would sit and relax," said the tour guide. "It is here that 'The King' would be inspired to revolutionize his craft…"
"Lord, please have mercy," Usagi said in a phony Southern accent, as she fanned herself. Her normal English accent, and Ranma's as well, is a Trans-Atlantic accent, a mix of an American and English accent, due to the fact that the couple spend an extensive amount of time on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean for a number of years.
"I must say that being here is like going to church on a Sunday morning."
CLICK!
"[You're putting it a little be thick, eh]?" Ranma said in Japanese, as he took digital pictures of the area with his camera, while dressed as a stereotypical Japanese tourist, complete with a Yankees Baseball ball cap. In reality, the "camera" was a sensor that would allow him to pinpoint the entrance of the AIM secret facility.
"Just playing the part, sugah," Usagi said with a wink and a nod.
"[Yeah, well, distract the tour guide; I think I know how to get down in the basement]."
"Will do, honey pie," Usagi said, as she turned towards the tour guide, while Ranma slinks away. "Say, where can a southern lady get a mint julep around these here parts?"
"Um, huh," the tour guide said, as he broke out in an embarrassing sweat…
A short time later…
THOOM!
AIM guards fly into the holding cell, causing the wives of Ranma Saotome to pay attention to what just happened.
"Honey, I'm home," Ranma said with a grin.
"It's about %$^&-ing time!" Sarah yelled.
"Ranma, you're here," Brianna said.
"Yeah, um, sorry about being unaware and all," Ranma said with embarrassment.
"Well, you definitely have some explaining to do," Miko said. "After all, when has it been since you spent time with me and your daughter?"
"Um, well, um…"
"Exactly."
"Ranma, are you alone?" Supergirl asked. "I mean, besides you and Usagi?"
"No, just us, although I have informed the appropriate people of the situation," Ranma said.
"Too bad THAT bit of information will not help you much, fool!" said MEMPHIS, as he discharged a concentrated dose of psychokinetic energy from the jewel from his forehead.
FWAAM!
"Ranma, look out!" Penny yells out.
Ranma leans backwards, and allows the energy beam to pass him by. It hits a nearby power conduit, shorting out the circuit that enables the dampening field to maintain its integrity.
BANG!
"You're in trouble, fool!" MEMPHIS said. "Time to do the 'jailhouse rock'."
"Excuse me," Blackfire said, as she began to glow. "But the one who will punish my wayward husband will be…ME."
With that, Blackfire discharges a starbolt, knocking the AIM commander through the nearest wall.
BAM!
"Arrrrgh-!"
"Ladies?"
"Since this cyborg is a cyborg, I'm in," Sarah said, as she picks up a broken metal rod caused by MEMPHIS' actions. "Let's 'terminate' this bastard!"
"Get him!" Bra yelled, as she goes "Super Saiyan".
FWOOSH!
"Please!" MEMPHIS yelled. "Don't be cruel-!"
And, with that, the mother of all beat downs begin. Ultimately, Ranma would end up saving MEMPHIS' life by striking a deal with his lost wives.
Temple of the Gods: Central Mexico.
"Run for it!" Ranma yelled, as he and Brianna are being chased by indigenous natives…mummified, indigenous natives who happened to be servant warriors to the Aztec God of War. Apparently, Brianna, like all treasure hunters tend to do, took the sacred artifact from a hidden room, causing the mummies to come to life. Making matters worse, the Aztec God of War, Huitzalcotl, aka "Ogre", was leading the chase. Even much worse was the fact that Ogre has never forgotten his defeat, thanks to Ranma.
"Do not think I have forgotten, Izanagi," Ogre said, as he flew after Ranma and Brianna. "I shall have your heart-!"
"Are you supposed to be the martial artist?" Brianna said, as she ran in front of her husband, disappointed that she had forgotten her heavy ordinances when she and Ranma went on their second honeymoon.
"Gee, didn't I tell YOU not to take THAT object?" Ranma said.
"Humph."
The Paradise Suite: Planet Risa.
"Hmmm," Blackfire said, as she relaxed in a pool of bath solutions, as Ranma message her feet. "For once, you have done your duties as a proper husband."
Ranma sighed, as he continued to rub the feet of the queen of the Tammaran people…in the buff. As part of his deal with Blackfire, he promised to pamper her in every way possible. He was so, so, SO bored.
Unfortunately, the other alien wives also wanted to be pampered in such a manner.
"I find this form of relaxation technique most engrossing," Lianna replied.
"If there was one thing that Ranma is good at, it is applying special 'techniques'," Bra said.
"And that's surprising, considering the fact that he isn't 'super'," Supergirl said.
"Hey, I'm 'super' regardless," Ranma said.
"Did any of us ask for commentary?" Azonia said. She was willing to remain Micronian size a little while later, while her husband tend to her needs, even if it was of a group setting.
"Humph."
Mika's Bedroom: The Shikima Realm.
"Help!" Ranma said, as Miko and Eve prepared to mate with their husband…in their alternate forms. Unfortunately, he was tied up at the moment…in chains and leather straps.
"Help-!"
"Oh, calm down," Miko said, as she shifted into demon form. "You're acting like SUCH a baby…"
"And I want to ensure that you and I successfully mate," said Eve, as she shifted into her monster form. "You should be honored."
"Then why do I feel like I'm going to an execution…?"
Themiscyria: Paradise Island.
"You and mother are getting back together?" Wonder Woman said, as she addressed Hippolyta, the Queen of the Amazons.
Ranma-onna sighed. As part of the deal, he had to make one of his doppelgangers permanently female, in order to be anointed a royal princess as Hippolyta's consort.
"Yes, we are, my daughter," Hippolyta said, as she held Ranma-onna's hand. "Also, I will marry Princess Namora, in order to cement relations between the Amazons and the Atlanteans."
"Keep in mind that I am only doing this for Ranma's sake," Namora said, as she glanced at Ranma-onna. Thankfully, she stocked plenty of "Unlocking Jusenkyo Curse" powder, for when she was in the mood to experience Ranma-onna's male form.
"Then, I will support your bonding, mother," Wonder Woman said, as she turned towards her "father". "Father, I am surprised you would give up your male gender for a superior one."
"Humph," Ranma-onna replied with a shrug.
Electric Light Show Company: Detroit, Michigan.
With the US government push towards renewable energy, Sarah Connor becomes concern that agents of SkyNet would infiltrate these start-up companies. According to Catherine Weaver, the CEO of ZiraCorps—and a rogue Terminator herself—had tipped off the Human Resistance of the location of SkyNet's latest project…
"And I still say that John should attend college," Ranma said, as he sits with his wife Sarah in a van, as John Connor, John's uncle Derek and John's protector Cameron (a reprogrammed Terminator) began to collect intelligence on the Electric Light Show Company.
"Ranma, we are dealing with the possible end of the world, and you're talking about COLLEGE?" Sarah said incredulously.
"Yes, I am. Look, you and I can deal with the Terminators for a while, while John has a normal life. Besides, if he gets into a technical field, and maybe join the military as well, John will have the pre-requisites to be a leader of the Human Resistance in the future…if WE fail."
"And Cameron?"
"Doctored records," Ranma said. "Plus, I have people that can help cover for her."
"You mean, like 'Bob' and Ginger?"
"No, I'm talking about SHIELD."
Ranma could see that Sarah was still skeptical, as he holds Sarah's hand.
"We can do this, and create a future where John won't have to be the leader this world might need, if the Machines rise."
"I hope you're right, Ranma," Sarah said, as she leans her head on Ranma's shoulder with a sigh. "I hope you're right…"
Bank of Los Angeles: Los Angeles, California.
"Too bad, Walters!" yelled Titania, as she runs down the street with bags money, after giving She-Hulk a suckerpunch. "Nyah!"
She-Hulk rubbed her jaw. She took the punch after saving a couple that had been in a car, which had been thrown at her by Titania. However, although she was annoyed by the suckerpunch, she knew that her rival-in-the-strength-department was not about to escape the scene…
"Feet, don't fail me now-!"
BAMF!
Titania falls down to ground, and sees the massive form of Hulkma.
"Going somewhere, little GIRL?" Hulkma said with a raised eyebrow.
Growling, Titania kicks Hulkma in the groin…
BAM!
…To no effect.
"Please," Hulkma said, as he tossed the Absorbing Man, down to the ground next Titania. "Don't be stupid like your boyfriend…"
Hulkma then sees his wife come running up.
"How are you, hon?" Hulkma said.
"I fine, if a little stung in the pride department," She-Hulk replied. "I think we'll have time to make the show tonight."
"Killer…"
Area 51: Nevada.
"Wooo-hoo!" Penny said, as she banked left in her space plane.
"Penny, you're going to fast," Ranma said, as he pursued in his on space plane.
"Hey, I have the need for speed, babe," Penny said, as she went full throttle.
Ranma chuckled, as he pursued his wife. It wasn't everyday that a date consisted of flying experiment planes. Still, he had to admit that he was having fun time.
"I'll race ya!" Penny yelled in her microphone, as she went full throttle.
"Alright, hon," Ranma said with a smile. "You're on-!"
And that was how Ranma Saotome made up to his "lost wives".
Fin.
