Disclaimer: I don't own anything below except for the plot idea.


A squirrel clung onto the side of a tree, bushy tail swishing lazily. Suddenly, it froze for a minute. With a twitch of its nose, it scrambled up the tree and disappeared from sight.

The shadow cast by the tree darkened and seemed to bulge out, gradually forming into three figures: two boys and an enormous dog.

The first boy, whose hands were white-knuckled around the dog's collar, groaned faintly, looking pale and queasy. "Nico, remind me why I agreed to your 'short cut' again?"

The second boy – Nico – gave a huge yawn before replying. "Because it was faster," he said in an of-course tone of voice.

"McDonald's was just a block a way! We could've walked! We could've even taken a taxi – " the first boy exclaimed before his voice trailed off. "Wait. Where are we?" he demanded, shooting Nico an accusing glare.

Nico looked around. "Uh. Not in McDonald's?" he offered weakly.

"We're in a freaking forest!"

"At least we're not in China," Nico said defensively.

"Bring me back!"

Nico looked sheepish. "Sorry, Percy. I don't think I'm up for more shadow-traveling, and I don't think Mrs. O'Leary is either." He pointed at the enormous hell-hound, who was currently curled up next to Percy and snoring.

Percy pulled at his hair. "What am I supposed to do?" he wailed. "Annabeth's going to kill me!"

"Your relationship's survived Tartarus – I think it can survive you being gone for half an hour," Nico said reasonably.

"It better be half an hour," Percy growled, trying to sound threatening but not succeeding; his voice cracked on the last word.

Before Nico could point that out and laugh, the two teenagers noticed something shiny glittering between the leafy green foliage in the distance. As one, they turned to each other, ADHD kicking in, grinned, and ran towards it.

"Wait," Percy said, gracefully stumbling over a tree root, "I don't think this is a good idea! It could be a trap."

"We're children of the Big Three! What's the worst that could happen?" Nico retorted. He was immediately slapped in the face by branch.

"Don't give the Fates any more ideas!" Percy said in alarm.

They followed the shine until they reached a clearing and froze in horror at the sight that greeted their eyes.

Two people – if you could call them that – were cuddling each other on the grass, both in varying states of undress. They were inhumanly beautiful, almost naked, and, worst of all, sparkling.

"I shouldn't have said that, should I?" Nico whispered, going even paler than usual.

Percy reached for his pen as the sparkling monsters gave girly screams and jumped to their feet.

"Edward!" the more feminine one shrieked. "I thought you said you'd make sure we wouldn't be interrupted!"

Edward looked awkward. "I, er, was more interested in your, um, body than reading minds. It's very sparkling and distracting, Bella, dear," he added.

Bella screamed, her voice as musical as a million dying musicians playing their own funeral dirges at the same time. "I hate sparkling! If I realized that sparkles would be out of style so soon, I wouldn't have let you turn me!"

Edward clutched at his sparkling chest dramatically. "You wound me!" he said. Then he brightened. "Have I mentioned how you're like my own personal brand of heroin?"

"That was only romantic-slash-creepy the first time!" Bella screamed.

Percy broke in. "Can I ask you a question? Are you guys, er, mortal?"

"No, we're vampires, stupid! Can't you tell by the hideous sparkling?" Bella screeched.

Percy shared a confused look with Nico. They'd never heard about any vampires sparkling before.

Nico asked dubiously, "Do you drink blood, then?"

"Animal blood only," Edward said proudly. "We're vegetarians." He let out a few chuckles at his joke while Percy and Nico stared in confusion.

"Vegetarians eat vegetables," Nico whispered to Percy. "Not animal blood."

"I'm going to have to slay you guys," Percy announced. "Because, as Grover says, all life is sacred, tin cans are delicious, cheese enchiladas are better than chicken ones – "

Nico nudged him. "You're getting off topic."

"Oh, sorry."

Percy uncapped Riptide while Nico drew his sword. They made short work of the vampires, who burst into dust and sparkles.

"Let's go get Mrs. O'Leary and go home," Percy said.

"Okay," Nico said happily. "That was fun. We should do it again sometime."


Author's Note: Should I continue this? If so, any suggestions about which book worlds Percy and Nico should visit?

Please, please review! It lets me know I'm doing a good job!