Zero Diaries

"I love Yuki"

I know I do. I will always love her, no matter what; I will always wait for her. What she did to me, what she is still doing, I will never forget that.

Yuki is the reason that I am still alive.

When I'm looking at her, you know, randomly, in class or just passing by, maybe when we are on duty, when she is brushing her teeth, talking with her friends, getting late and scolded by sensei, anytime. If she realizes that I'm looking at her, she always smiles back. That warm, protective smile, just curling lips you say, it means everything to me.

So far you've listened to my thoughts about Yuki, things I have known very well since my childhood, admitting without any problem. But I have another side, which is not human at all; it does not belong to Yuki. I have animal inside of me, a Vampire, blood sucker, whatever you call it. For me, it is just an exclusive murderer, that's all.

I hate it. Hate it Hate it Hate it!

I hate being a vampire. So much! I want to cut myself into half.

Yeah, just the human side, I always wanted to be just a human. Why? Why did I have to be vampire? I just wanted to live normal life with my family, my twin, and Yuki. But right now, I can't even breathe because of hunger.

"I need blood"

BLOOD

Just saying it makes my mouth watery, my fangs sharper. Ah…Pills are not working anymore, I just vomited three of them, my body is craving, crying. I need real blood.

Yuki's blood.

My body shivered. "No! No way! I promised to myself that I would never drink her blood again!"Her blood is delicious with its humanly taste and rich flavor. I covered my sweaty face with my trembling hands. "How could I think something like that? Even my heart feels painful, why I can't control my mind?"

But I know why.

"I'm hungry…so hungry!"

Then I lost everything, like someone shut off the television, after a colorful screen, and is left with just black. Nothing remains. Again, my human self lost to the vampire.

"So you're here, level E…"

My sight was blurry but my ears could clearly hear.

"Kuran…Kaname…"

He didn't have to do a thing, just stand there and stare at me, but his eyes were so fierce and almighty, you could feel his presence even without looking.

"It is very interesting. You're hungry for blood but far away from Yuki." He said with using all of his hate.

His eyes were looking at me with disgust, like watching someone just vomited. I hate him. And I know I do; when I see him on duty or when he talking with Yuki. Even his winking makes me want to kill him. Not because I'm hunter. I have enough personal reasons too.

"Why are you here again?"

"Because my senses are strong, I can hear your painful breathing even in my dreams." Then he spat, like he regretted even talking to me. For a minute, silence required. Neither he nor I said anything, just glared at each other with hateful eyes.

He smirked. "Do you know..." he started."In this long life I have lived, I almost know nothing about humans, but when it comes to vampires, I can observe them so well, I can understand what they are thinking with just a look, or what they desire."

He was still smiling, just him mouth though. He placed his hand carefully on my shoulder and his face moved close to mine. "Especially those who are close to becoming a level E. Well, any vampire can understand what they are thinking easily, since they can't control their mind like they once use to, but for me it is a little bit special."

His smile disappeared when his eyes burned with anger. "How could someone as low as you, drink Yuki's precious blood?" Then he shook my body. "Who do you think you are, you fucking level E?!"

"Well, I guess you've lost your prince side, since you are using those kinds of words, what human usu-." He slapped me and the tree behind me cracked. It didn't hurt though; I knew he was just showing off, proving his authority.

"You are already too relaxed. You are not protecting vampire rules; you are studying in day class, even staying close with humans. Even though you are the most dangerous vampire, I'm letting you be, to live your daily life. Do you know why?"

His hand gripped my throat. "Because you are Yuki's step brother, her guardian."

I tried to not lose my control, but his grip was too strong, it made me feel weak already. His eyes were as cold as ice, totally opposite from the ones he used when looking at Yuki. It's really hard to believe that he could look like that.

When I decided to give up, he loosened his grip. "Why won't you resist? Do you want to die?"

"Well..." I coughed as I tried to catch my breath."It is not unusual for a vampire hunter to die from the hands of a vampire is it?"

He starred at me for a second, and then kneeled. "You are right. Indeed. This is not. Essentially, it is their destiny to be killed by a vampire." He said with a mocking voice.

"But you are not a vampire hunter."

I trembled with anger.

"You are not a vampire either."

"You are nothing but a level E, an animal craving for blood; and blood alone."

"You fucking bastard! I'm not-Uh!"

Then he smiled and cut his neck with his sharp nail. "Let's see..."

Just a smell of it made my eyes turn red instantly as I watched the liquid drip from his neck. In a second, I was holding his body; my fangs were biting his cold skin, drinking his blood. Thick, delicious taste, every sip of it made me come alive again.

"Stop!" I begged to myself. "Please, not him!" But this body, craving for a blood, drank and drank Kuran Kaname's blood, until he made me stop. His eyes found mine, and he gave me a satisfied smile. "You would be a great soldier. You didn't even last one second, all of your mind and heart left you; just a body with a great hunger. That is you."

I couldn't say anything. He was...right. You can't imagine how much it hurts to admit this. Because when I'm craving for blood, I'm unconscious, I can't remember anything at all. Nothing but the taste I just indulged in.

He sighed and starred down at me with eyes saying. "Exactly as I told you.". Then he cared his own neck, his wound quickly disappearing.

He stood."From now on, drink my blood whenever you are hungry. Don't search for Yuki ever again." I spat, I wanted to vomit actually. I hated to drink his blood, more than anything else. But you see...

He frowned slightly. "You are nothing Zero. Like your name. You have nothing."

"You're angry aren't you? Like always, you are using your needle words to make it go away."

His eyes opened with unexpectedness; but lasted only for a second, and then his mask of indifference returned again. "The truth is painful Zero. But even so, you have to accept it."

I knitted my brows. "I don't want to hear it from you."

He shrugged, and then looked up to sky with eyes carrying disgust. "It's almost morning."

I didn't have to look at it. Since I could trust a vampire about knowing when the sun rises. Well, his look at the sun was...how should I decipher it? Like seeing his first love with someone else. Inside, there was a longing but hating at the same time.

His eyes suddenly turned at me. "Don't stare at me so casually."

I pouted and turned my gaze away. "Whatever."

...

I saw that dream again. Well, I should say ' a memory', from Kuran Kaname. I can't recall it perfectly since it is not mine, but even so, since I drank his blood, it became clearer.

"Che..." I scratched my head. "Like I don't have enough of my own nightmares, I have to see that bastard's ones too..."

I checked the time; it was almost time for school. I had slept for half an hour or so I guessed. Well...not bad. I got up, since I was still wearing my uniform, no need to change. I washed my face while trying not to look at the mirror. Since I became vampire, I was always seeing my bloody side as my reflection.

Holding my hunter gun in my hands, I tested its weight, posed for the shot, and then slowly aimed at my own head. Placing my finger on the trigger, I closed my eyes.

"A little bit more...just a little bit."

"You are still alive because of Yuki. Don't forget that. You already took her precious blood, and mine. Don't do anything reckless. Your time will come."

'Why the hell did I have to think about his words at this time?'

I aimed at my head for a minute without doing anything; then placed it into my belt.

"Today is no good either..."

I went outside, and tried to look at the sky. It's getting more and more difficult to wake up in the morning. So I choose not to sleep. I wonder if this routine will keep up.

"So you're here!" A delicate hand pats me. I don't have to see her because my body already recognizing her every touch. Making me shiver but somehow relieved at the same time.

"Yuki..."

She smiles me cheerfully. "Good morning!"

I turned my gaze away. "Yeah..."

She looks at me for a second, and then holds my arm. "We'll be late!"

After classes are done, we have another duty, protecting vampires from their fans. What a stupid situation this is?

Most of the girls squeal, and throw their presents: homemade chocolates, bentos etc at their beloved night class students as they pass by for their daily class change. The vampires come from the gates, some of them are smiling and waving back at their fans; some of them are showing their dignity and ignoring the humans and some of them are just being assholes.

But the only vampire I seemed to notice is the brown haired pureblood. I watch as Kuran Kaname greets Yuki before patting her head and leaving, which only leaves to me feeling slightly irritated. Not only this, after drinking his blood, I started to feel his presence very much, and some of his ominous memories, making me sick.

He turned his head and stares at me before leaving. I suddenly felt my veins go crazy and it didn't feel good at all. I couldn't control my mind and trembling body, then I fell down.

I was pretty aware of my surroundings, especially Yuki, she was right front of me, shaking my body, and I guess calling my name. People looked worried but scared to touch me the same time, well, just as expected. Don't touch me. That's good.

The vampires, they're not moving, only starring at me with knitted brows. I guess they're thinking I will attack someone; well I won't, so just go already!

"Drinking my blood has some kind of side effects."

What? It was...Kuran Kaname! In my head?

My eyes searched for him, and found him looking at me with a smirk. Then he got closer.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Just get up you useless level E." He said in my mind.

The other vampires watched Kuran Kaname with a surprise, and then gathered around me. I nod several times as an answer for both, trying to get up. Yuki and some boy, who was brave enough to help, pulled me up.

"Please..."

Please take me away from those vampires.

From Him!

Yuki, tried to talk with me, unfortunately I couldn't answer properly, just nod my head. She seemed worried, because her hands were slightly shaking. But in my mind, there was another thing making me unable to move and concentrate.

His memories.

Suddenly, I found myself in his memories, there was a blood, so much blood, but it gave off the opposite affect than what it usually did, I wanted to vomit. There was a two people lying down, bite marks on their necks. I couldn't recall the place, I guess it was a castle or something, or a rich house, but he knew it very well.

Because he killed them?

No. It wasn't that.

Because in his memories, I felt so angry, but sad at the same time, I was looking at a house, with someone holding my hand.

Then it ended.

I tried to remember it perfectly but minute by minute, the memories had vanished from my mind. Now I only remembered how I felt that time. When I opened my eyes, it was already dark enough for night class to begin classes; I got up slowly because of a terrible headache, and couldn't find Yuki next to me.

"I guess she is already on duty huh..." I scratched my head. "Again" I thought. "I'm sleeping with my school uniform."

I washed my face, again tried don't look at the mirror, them put on my jacket, there was a dry feeling in my throat. I gulped and gulped but of course, it didn't go away. I sighed and my hand searched for the little box in my pocket. I relaxed when my fingertips felt a rose shape on a box. The last time Yuki tried to take it away from me; I had to become more careful.

"I guess yesterday's blood is enough for a while" I hoped and gulped down some pills. This time, my body accepted it. I put on my duty band and headed outside.

It was chilly but even so, I prefer it this way; since I can't stand the sun any longer. I started to run to the gate of the night class, my throat hurt but this time it felt good. I felt like a human again. I climbed a tree at the front of the night class building and watched them from there.

It didn't seem like they were having a class at all, they had disorganized sitting positions and weren't listening to the lesson at all. Even the teacher, didn't care if they were listening or not, he was only hoping for ending lesson as soon as possible.

"So you are here." My body shivered when I heard his voice in my mind. Then my eyes searched for him. He were sitting next to a window, he answered someone at his front then peeked at me for a second.

"How are you feeling?"

I turned my gaze away. "You don't have to know."

"Well, actually it is the first time that such a thing happened, so I want to know in more details."

I sighed and closed my eyes for a gentle braze. "There are things that you won't be able to learn in life."

"Hoo...Life huh... I've had a lot of it."

I opened my eyes with an annoyed glare. "Oh yeah?"

"Yes, indeed. And I've learned everything I need to know."

I felt his eyes on me. Then a strong wind came and shook the branches, which almost made me almost lose my balance and fall.

"I will see you after class."

"No way in hell!"

He didn't say anything after that. I couldn't help and watched him for a while for him to answer, but realizing he wouldn't give me one I gave up. Closing my eyes, I listened to the branches that move with the wind, thought about Yuki, then what should I make for a dinner tomorrow, or the last time since I have washed dishes. I mean, anything but vampires, that dry feeling in my throat, Kuran Kaname, or his memories.

Suddenly, someone came and jumped next to me.

"Kiryuu Zero, I shall make you stay here until you meet with Kaname-sama."

She was Kaname's spy, ninja, or something? But she was pretty good. She was standing on the branch like it was the ground.

I smirked. "How much can you not trust me?"

"Well, I just had to make sure"

I sighed and made myself more comfortable, "anyway, I'm waiting."

She starred at me for a second, and then turned her gaze away. After she watched me for half an hour, class came to end, and Kuran Kaname came twenty minutes later. Letting his ninja go away.

"Come down you ugly cat."

I frowned. "Yeah, what are you, a woman? Coming 20 min late and giving orders?"

He shook his head and laughed. "Not woman, but a royal highness."

I stared at him with a 'seriously?' look, then jump down.

"What do you want to know anyway?"

He remained silent for a while; I guess he was gathering his own thoughts in order.

"About my new power, I have to learn it as much as I can."

I frowned and tried to show how confused I was.

He turned his head away. "Well, I will explain... come with me."

We walked forever, and he didn't answer me when I asked him about our way. But he looked strange. Calm but worried at the same time. We finally arrived at the front of a wrecked building; I wondered if it was haunted, from the looks of it. Not that I was scared.

"Wait."

Yeah, I'm dog, so of course I will wait! Shit!

But I waited.

Because it was pretty dangerous go in there without knowing it.

He went first, as I guessed used a different way to go in, and then turn on the lights.

"Come in!" He said from a window.

Since the lights were on now I deemed it safe to enter so I carefully walked inside. What greeted me was not what I expected; the place was the complete opposite of what the exterior of the building looked like. The room was well furnished and the seemed to be newly designed. Not too luxurious but modern. He was sitting on a gray colored sofa, which has a little table with a bottle beside of it. He motioned me over with his hand.

I looked around. "I didn't expect to find a place like this in a ruin."

He smiled and nodded like he expected from me to say this. "I need to be alone sometimes." He explained. And he lifted the bottle. "Besides, I needed a desolate place for us."

I waved my hand as a no for wine, but he poured anyway. "What do you mean? Just explain it to me from a start."

He sighed and took a sip from his wine. "When you first drank my blood, I saw a nightmare, which is pretty normal for me, but that dream-no memory- did not belong to me. I'm pretty sure of it because I remember my every moment, but I didn't think that it was actually yours. So last night, I asked you to drink my blood to confirm it. And… I saw it again. But this time, you were sleeping with someone who looked exactly like you, so I'm sure this time."

I raised my hand and stopped him. "Wait. Wait a minute. So you are saying you saw my twin in your dream?"

He nodded. "I guess; since he was a total reflection of you."

"And I guess you are dreaming about my memories too?"

"Yeah! Like mines are not enough, I had to see your horror movie like memories!"

He knitted his brows. "Yours wasn't a fairytale either."

I shrugged. "Whatever. So what? Do you want to see my nightmares more? Is it addicting?"

He clenched his hands together. "After that, I realized dreams are not only thing that we are sharing."

That made me shut up. "What?"

His eyes turned at me. "I can talk in your mind, and I can control you too."

"No you don't"

"Why did you wait then?"

I suddenly got up with anger and aimed my gun at his head. "You bastard! Do you think I will let you control me from now on?"

He chuckled and ignored my gun. "So you accept it."

I was startled. He was...annoying but right too. Why did I believe him when he said he is controlling me?

Don't you already know the reason?

I sighed and dropped my gun, "I should have known, there is no way that you are offering your blood to me without a merit."

He nodded with a satisfied smile. "You already know about me."

I frowned. "That is not the issue in here." I said sitting on the sofa once more. "Tell me, why should I let myself be controlled by you?"

He shook his head with a "you are really hopeless" attitude. "Because you are nothing but a level E, who lives only for blood."

He took his glass again and watched the red liquid with eyes that looked like he was watching his victim. "So, I'm offering my blood, which a dream for many vampires, and almost impossible for you to taste a pure blood again."

I wanted to feel disgust, but since it was his character, it didn't happen. "I don't want that cursed blood! I rather die!"

He chuckled. "I knew you would say that, but I wanted to try it after all."

"What do you mean?"

His gaze turned to me and suddenly changed serious. "What would you say if I told you it was possible to save yourself from being a Level E?"

He's lying. Of course he is! There is no way to escape from becoming a level E!

"Oh yeah there is..." He read my mind.

He leaned closer. "So, don't you feel like you don't craving for a blood too much after drinking mine?"

I admitted. "Yeah...But I thought it is side effect from drinking from a pure blood."

He smiled. "That is quite right. For every vampire, drinking from pure blood is blessing. But, there is no way for a pure blood let Level E drank his blood so, that is the point, it is first time."

His hand went to my lips. "Open your mouth."

I opened it.

His fingertips touched my fangs, his eyes looking mine straight, no way to avert it.

"What are you doing?"

"Something interesting."

My fang cut his fingertip, made all my mouth taste it. Without realizing, I took his hand and started to drink, without averting my eyes from his. Again, I felt like all of his flowed inside me. My breathe fastened and I clenched to his hand more.

He seemed to enjoying it. " I have a plan. Which saves Yuki from all this hell. And you of course. Personally, I don't care about you at all, I should say- I didn't-, since I discovered this power, you look kinda...anyway."

He pulled his hand. " You will be my strongest soldier, and after that...I don't care. Do whatever you want."

I was trying to come to my senses after feeding. " Explain what you said before, about saving me from becoming Level E." I was still tasting his blood when I'm talking.

"Why should I?"

I knitted my brows. " Because you have bussiness with me, and I don't think I will accept your conditions if you won't give me a reasonable one."

He smiled. "You are not very bright are you?"

"What the hell?"

He grabbed my face. " I can control you Zero." He said. "I can move you around like a puppet."

I shaked my head. "Not if I won't drink your blood."

"Do you really think you can resist my blood?"

"I will. And after drinking your blood, I can control myself freely after all. I can perfectly hate you, without any problem."

He sighed. "I have to show you then."

"What do you mea-"

"Undress."

My eyes opened with a surprise. "What did you said?"

His eyes, cold as an ice. Repeated.

"Undress Zero. Starting from your jacket, shirt, trousers, boxer. Until you are completely naked."

"No way am I going to do that!"

But my hands, started to unbutton my shirt. I unzipped my trousers and took it off.

"Right, just like that. Keep going."

I was almost naked in front of him!

I was almost naked in front of him...

Which is completely normal.

Finally, I took off my boxers, standing in front of him. He starred at my body top to toe with a smile. "You have quite well shaped body."

"What the hell is wrong with me!?"

He didn't answer.

I have to cover my body with my hands!

Do I have to cover my body?

I 'm just naked. Which is completely normal.

"Come here..."

I walked to him.

"Sit on my lap."

I sat on his lap.

His cold hands danced on my body, my hair, lips, my neck, shoulder.

He squeezed my nipples.

"You're feeling good...You like it when someone plays with your nipples..."

No way! It hurts! I'm not a woman, of course it feels terrible!

Really? Doesn't it feel good?

It feels good.

"nnn..."

He smiled. "Nice...

Then his fingers went down, and touched my cock.

"You are already rock hard."

"I'm hard..."

"You love it, when someone touches your cock."

"I love it..."

"You love it, when I'm touching your body."

"nnnh! I love it...when you're touching me."

His hands stroked my cock and his tongue licked my neck. "You see, I can see your artery, it's using my blood to make you stay alive..." He whispered my ear.

"Play with your nipples."

My hands went to my nipples, and start to squeeze them.

"You have to see this sight right now Zero..."

"nn...I'm gonna!"

"You can't come."

"I can't come..."

He unzipped his trousers and let his cock out.

"You can't come, until I come in your mouth."

"I can't come...until...Uh!"

What the hell am I doing! I can't suck his thing!

He knitted his brows and grabbed my chin, looking straight into my eyes.

"You will give me a blowjob, then come. Which is your favorite."

That's impossible!

Is it impossible? Just a blowjob. It is your favorite.

"It is my favorite..."

I leaned over his cock and took it in my mouth. It was hot and big enough. I licked when it dripped.

"You are pretty good at this..." He caressed my hair.

"Faster..."

My mouth fastened. He grabbed my hair tight.

"Uh...nhh..." He came into my mouth.

"Swallow it. It is delicious."

"Delicious." I swallowed.

He looked at my cock. "You want to come?"

I nod.

He starred at me with a boring look. "It's too normal."

His hands made me closer to his body. "Let's do something more interesting."

"You have a sweet spot." he said.

"I have a sweet spot."

"Yes." His hand went to my hips. "It is right there."

His finger went into my asshole.

"Ah!"

No! No! It is enough! Stop it! I tried to struggle.

Then his finger went to deeper.

"Aah!"

"You're feeling too good Zero. Since it is your sweet spot, it makes you harder and you can't come until you have it in your ass."

No! Impossible!

His finger fastened. "You love it when a cock enters in here. My cock enters in here."

"I love when your..nnh!"

His second finger went in.

"Yes...you love it."

I love it. I love his cock.

"Ah! Ah! Nnnh!"

He released his fingers and poured some wine on his cock.

"Spread your legs."

My eyes can't avert from his eyes. I can't even...

"Spread them...Zero."

I opened them for him.

And he went in.

"Aaah! Ah! Ah! Hurts!"

"Just a little bit...Remember? It is always like this."

Is it?

Of course it is.

Yeah. Always like that.

He made me sit on his cock until he filled my inside.

"You will feel good, too good. Because it is your sweet spot."

"I will, feel good."

He tried to move slowly. But it was too tight.

Hurts! Like hell!

"Drink it..."

My eyes opened wide when I saw dripping blood on his neck, without realizing my tongue licked his neck and bit down it with my fangs.

Now, I was only feeling his blood passing through my throat. Making me more and more alive every second that went by.

"Yes...Like that. Look, I'm moving freely now."

His cock was moving in inside. His blood was moving in my veins.

You are nothing. But mine.

Slowly, I started to feel good. His cock rammed me again and again, his fingers caressed my nipples, his blood feed me.

"I guess you are okay now." He made me released from his neck.

"Feel my cock. It is feeling good right?"

He made me lie down on sofa, spread my legs wider, and pressed his cock deeper.

"Aaah! Oh! nnnh nnh!"

He moved faster and his tongue licked my body all over.

"The wine I used will make you drunk soon, it will feel better."

Suddenly, I felt my head started to spin and I lost my control even more.

"Ah! Nnnmh!"

His cock, ramming inside me.

"Oh! nnh!"

His tongue caressing my nipples.

"Nnnnnh...Ah!"

He's fucking me and I'm letting him do it.

Of course, like always.

"You want more."

"I want more!"

"You want it deeper."

"I want it deeper."

"You want me to fuck you."

"Ah! I want you to fuck me!"

His thrust become faster, and harder, but even so, he looks like he's doing nothing at all. But I can see his sweat dripping from his chain.

I got up and licked his salty sweat.

"I didn't expect you to do that." He says surprised. I guess this is first time I'm seeing him like this.

"Come..."

"Nhn! Ah Ah! Ah!"

"Come hard, Zero. Like you never did before."

"AAh! I'm...I'm coming! Ah!" My body starts to tremble like crazy, and comes perfectly like never before. I can't close my mouth from all the pleasure; my body is still going up and down. He watches me come. Thrusting one more time, and comes deep inside me.

We stayed like this for a while; trying to come back to our senses. He's done quickly and slowly removes himself from my hole.

"It felt good."

I can't move my body; my hole is hurting and filled up with his semen. My nipples and my body totally sticky and mouth taste like semen and blood.

"What have I done...?"

"What the hell did I do with… him?!"

"I let him FUCK ME!"

He held my empty shell body, and carried it to the bathroom, setting me down in the bath tub.

"Wash yourself. In and out."

My hands went to my hole, and tried to let his semen out.

"nnh.."

He watched me as I cleaned myself. As I finger myself.

"I can control you Zero...You should have believed me."

He left the bathroom, and got dressed, then left the building.

"Come here next week. Same night."

My body is trembling, my tears won't stop. I can't believe I did something like that. I can't believe my body accepted him. I can't believe how much cries of pleasure I let out.

I can't believe he fucked me.

It felt amazing though.

Shut up!

And you satisfied your hunger with first class blood.

"SHUT UP! I hate you! I hate my vampire side!"

Silence.

I tried to catch my breath and left the bathroom. My back hurt like hell and I knew I wouldn't be able to walk properly for a while.

I looked at the sofa before leaving.

"Damn it..." I clenched my hands.

That bastard! I will never, ever come here again!

You won't? Even if it felt so good?

It felt good.

Right?

Right.

Then let's see what is going to happen next week...

Yes. Next week.

Let's see...

That's it! What do you think? Should I write about next week too? Write me about it! Thanks for reading ^^

Thanks for Editing Lucy!

Nami desu^^