Given Solace
Author: AbbyGibbs (AbbyGibbsMorgan)
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds doesn't belong to me, sadly enough. No it belong to Jeff Davis who created the show and the team of writers and producers and all the people who makes of the show what it is today… No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: T as always to stay on the safe side.
Category: Romance, angst, hurt/comfort.
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Spoilers: "Mayhem"
Summary: After Morgan tells Garcia she's his God given solace and that she refuses to talk to him because she's mad at him, there's a three hours drive for him as he takes Hotch home. When they're back at Quantico a surprise awaits them… but it's not really what they had expected…
A/N: The idea popped into my head after I've seen the first episode of season four of "Criminal Minds" yesterday evening. I loved that episode so much, one of the best I've seen, but I thought there was something missing, one more scene between Morgan and Garcia. Yeah, I know there are a lot of fics written after the first episode of the fourth season, but please bear with me hear, please…
Derek Morgan was driving the SUV back to Quantico, Aaron Hotchner sitting in the passenger seat. He was lost in his own thoughts, Hotch would trust him with his life, but when he asked if he would do the same, he didn't answer.
Derek didn't answer, it's as if, 'yes' I would' couldn't get out of his mouth. Derek still has, after so many years, trust issues… but did he really? Or was it just that he couldn't say the words to his boss? When he drove that ambulance to a safe place for it to explode, he hadn't given it a second thought. Morgan had just acted, because saving the people at the Saint Barclay hospital is what he needed to do, and it felt like Hotch was holding it against him, because he still had – according to him – trust issues.
This was crazy, if he hadn't done what he had, they would all have died; or at least a most of then and a large amount of people would have been injured. Would that have been better then?
"Does it really matter?" Morgan suddenly said.
Hotchner turned his head to look at Derek. "What?"
"Does it really matter that I say the words? What would it change? What would it change exactly Hotch? They are only words and nothing more, I can't believe that you actually doubt me." he said, his voice a mix of anger and sadness.
"How can someone trust you when you do things on your own? We are a team, Derek and the members of a team work together, not each of them do their own thing." Aaron told him.
"Team, let's speak of the team… there wouldn't be a team anymore if I hadn't driven that ambulance away with Garcia's help, Hotch."
"I'm fully aware of that Morgan and thanks for saving our lives – my life – but…"
"But what Hotch? Why is it so damn important to you? Why don't you get that the issues that I have don't apply to the team, well they do, but in different ways. I've never been the in the top of the class, I never have been the good mother's little boy, but I do what I do, and save lives because I'm good at it. And yeah, I didn't wait for you guys to back me up, but if someone had to die, better it be one person instead of the entire hospital."
"But you didn't think Morgan, you just acted."
"I didn't have time to think, Hotch, the only thing on my mind was that I had to try to avoid a catastrophe. Sorry about that!" Morgan said rather angrily, his grip on the steering wheel tightened as he added "I never thought I'd be penalized for saving people."
Aaron didn't answer because deep down he knew Morgan wasn't entirely wrong. The rest of the trip home was almost completely silent. Each of the men completely engrossed in their own thoughts. Derek thinking once more of the events of what could have happened if he hadn't… and Hotch asking himself a lot existential questions and the all the lost moments with his son.
Morgan's thoughts quickly switch over to Garcia. He had told her, she was his God given solace, and God was she. He wouldn't have made it without her and he knew it, but maybe, just maybe, he should have been telling her something else…
Something his heart has known for a very long time already, but that his head was still fighting… the undeniable feelings he had for her.
You got to promise me one thing. Whatever happens never stop talking to me.
I can't right now 'cause I'm mad at you.
I can wait.
That's what he fully intended to do, wait until she would talk to him again even it took for ever. Even if he knew that it would hurt him.
Meanwhile, at Quantico the BAU technical analyst, Penelope Garcia was driving Jennifer Jarreau completely crazy.
"Garcia would you stop pacing, please, you are making me nauseous."
But it was as if she hadn't heard her best friend. Garcia just continued pacing. JJ sighed, she was grateful to see Emily approaching with a drink.
"Everything okay, JJ?"
"I'm fine, but I'd be better if missy here would stop pacing. Could you maybe?" She asked, Prentiss.
Emily smiled and handed her the drink she had brought for her, then she went to Penelope. Stopping in front of Garcia, Prentiss gently placed her hands on the woman's shoulders. Startled, the computer genius looked up.
Emily smiled at her friend and said, "Garcia, stop pacing, you're making JJ nervous. So why don't you come and sit with us and tell us what's going on." She suggested gently.
"Huh? Oh, sorry…" Garcia apologized as she walked toward her best friend with Emily.
Both Garcia and Prentiss took a seat in front of JJ's desk.
"So, Pen, what's troubling you so much?" Both of the women asked.
The normally always joyful lab tech analyst sighed, then inhaled sharply, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. Her eyes were brimming and she looked down at the floor.
Emily rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her.
"I thought I'd lost him…" she started as the tears began to roll down her cheeks.
JJ and Emily looked at each other.
Garcia then continued with a voice full of sobs, "I thought I lost him, in that ambulance when it exploded and my heart broke into a zillion pieces, then hearing his voice again made me feel relieved and incredibly thankful that he had made it, but then that feeling was replaced by anger and rage"
"It's normal, that you were angry Penelope, because you were scared."
"I know, JJ, but then he made me promise him that whatever happens, I'd never stop talking to him, and I told him I couldn't promise because I was too mad at him. And he answered that he could wait…"
"Garcia…" Emily started, but she cut her off.
"All I want to do right now is talk to him and hold him in my arms, make sure for myself that he's really alive."
As she listened to her best friend, JJ couldn't help but smile, maybe all hope wasn't dead after all. She and she decide to push it a little bit.
"But, honey, he's fine you heard him on the phone, so why would you…" she didn't even have to finish her sentence. JJ nodded slightly at Emily, who slowly stood up, using the excuse to get Garcia a fresh glass of water, and exited the office. She closed the door, but slowly opened it again just enough for her to overhear, as she dialed Hotch's cell phone number.
Morgan had to tell Hotch that his phone was ringing, and Aaron put the phone against his good ear, Emily told him to put the phone on speaker and to hold it so that Morgan would be able to hear.
"Tell me why Garcia..."
"Because… I… I… love him." She said in a shaky voice.
Agent Jarreau smile and asked "Who do you love?"
Penelope was getting slightly irritated. "As if you don't know."
"No, Pen, I don't because you love every one of us."
"Oh come on, JJ, you know what I mean." She answered a little harshly.
"Are you trying to tell me you are in love with someone? Do I know him? What does he look like?" Jennifer teased her gently which drove Penelope crazy.
"JJ stop it! You know who I'm in love with. I'M IN LOVE WITH DEREK MORGAN, she nearly shouted as she stood up.
Hearing Garcia's confession Morgan pulled the car to the side of the road. He looked at Hotch, with a slight smile on his lips.
Tilting is head to the side a little, Derek managed to say "Did she just…" he couldn't finish the sentence, he was just so shocked at finally hearing what he had dreamed of hearing for so long now.
Aaron Hotchner simply nodded his head, the he heard JJ speak again and said, "sssh, listen." And with that Morgan's attention focused once again on the cell phone Hotch was holding in his hand.
"But you are in a relationship with Lynch, and I thought you guys were good together…"
"Lynch is just a friend, nothing more. The night before I got shot, Morgan asked me out and I dismissed him because I thought he was asking me out for the wrong reasons and after the case was closed he didn't asked me out again so I thought… and then there was Kevin who seemed to be interested in me…" she trailed off.
Her sobs turning in real crying now, Derek Morgan felt as if someone was ripping his heart out of his chest. He closed his eyes for a second in the hope that it would ease the pain that Penelope's words had brought back.
She had rejected him because she'd thought he was asking her out, out of pity, but that had never been the reason why he did it. The reason why was because he wanted to apologize to her for what he had said, for the fact that his words had hurt her so much, and after her refusal, he'd gone to church. When he left that peaceful setting, he listened to his voice mail and had the impression of suffocation for a few moments, and as the sensation had eased a bit he had rushed to his car and had headed straight to the hospital.
Since then he had never had the chance to tell her that. When she got out of there, after Hotch suspended her, Derek had stayed with her to protect her, in case that wacko who was still after her tried something again.
"Hey silly girl, I love you, you know that right?"
"I love you too"
He was sure she hadn't taken him seriously, but he was dead serious as he had told her that. Derek now realized that he had to make her understand that he really did love her and that he couldn't imagine his life without her in it.
Derek snapped out of his thoughts when she spoke again. "You know he told me, I was his God given solace, but in reality he is mine, JJ, 'cause without him I think I would have given up a long while ago…"
"What do you mean?"
She looked up at her friend through red-rimmed eyes, her face and makeup where now ravaged by her tears. "Don't get me wrong, I love you all guys and I'd do anything to make you happy and help you. I love my job despite the horrors I hear, when I have to listen or watch tapes, and you, Emily, Hotch, Rossi and Reid are the best family and friends I've ever had, but the one who really keeps me sane is Morgan, I don't know how, but the minute I lay my eyes on him I feel at ease, and I know I'll be safe because he's there."
"Sweetie, you should tell him that. Why don't you?"
Garcia sighed deeply before she added "Because I'm his baby girl, his best friend nothing more, I'm not the kind of women he dates…"
"Pen, I think you need to buy yourself a new pair of glasses." JJ told her smiling.
"Huh? What are you talking about?" she asked as she looked at her interlocutor oddly.
"Morgan loves you, Garcia, we all know it, we all see it in the way he looks at you, the way he acts with you. The way he defends you, he turns into a pit bull if someone wants to touch you. You can ask Reid, he told me that when Derek left your hospital room after that nutcase shot you, he slammed the board that was hanging on the wall in the corridor."
"He's just being kind, like he is with everyone."
"Yeah,right. And tell me why do you think he's unable to keep a woman more than two weeks?"
"Because he is hot stuff."
"No."
"Yeah, he is hot stuff." Garcia insisted.
JJ couldn't help but laugh, "Alright, I'll give you that, but that's not what I mean, Garcia, he's not staying with anyone of them, but because they can't compete with the one person who can fill the emptiness his heart feels. Because they aren't and never will be you. You are the one he wants, the one that has his heart, though I'm not sure he realizes it yet. Although something's telling me that's something that might soon be changing." She says to her friend with a mischievous look in her eyes.
"JJ, you sure you're feeling, okay?"
"Never felt better. Ouch…"
"What is it?" Garcia asks concerned.
"Come here," she says smiling reach out for her hand.
Penelope stands up and walks around the table, and when she stands near her, JJ takes her hand placing it on her bulging belly. "Feel"
"Awww," Garcia squealed instantly forgetting everything else.
JJ looked toward her office door, and nodded at Emily telling silently to come back in so she could feel the kicks too.
Emily ended the phone call and entered in the office again, walking excitingly toward her friend, as she reached JJ, the young soon to be mother took her colleague's hand and placed on the other side of her belly. It didn't take for Emily to squeal as well when the baby kicked again.
"Geez, this one is going to become a soccer player." Prentiss commented.
Morgan hadn't start the car yet, he was still processing what he had just learned through Emily's call, he couldn't believe what he just heard, he couldn't believe what JJ had said, was it really that obvious for everyone that he's in love with his baby girl?
But if he tells her, what would happen, they wouldn't be able to work together anymore—sure Pen isn't a feel agent, but…
Morgan was brought back to reality, by his boss's voice.
"Tell her Morgan, don't think about it, do it. Life's too short, don't hesitate. Do it before it's too late, don't worry about Strauss, we'll find a way."
"Thanks, Hotch." Morgan simply answered before starting the engine of the SUV, and hitting the road again, heading toward a new beginning.
Nearly two and half hours later, the women were still sitting in JJ's office, Reid was absorbed by some interesting reading, and SSA David Rossi was on the phone as he came down to see how the members of the team were doing.
Rossi couldn't help but smile when he saw how intense Spencer Reid was.
Garcia was playing with a pen and was once again driving her friends crazy.
"Call him, Pen. You have to tell him before it's too late or are you going to wait until the only way you'll be able to tell him will be crying on his gravestone?"
"NO! I can't call him. What would I say? Hey hot stuff, I called you, but I forgot to tell you something before I said I couldn't talk to you again 'cause I was mad and that thing is that I'm in love with you."
"I'm in love with you, too, baby" a warm voice said behind her, making Garcia spin around.
"Angel? What? How?" she looked at him wide eyed.
Morgan couldn't help but laugh at her reaction when he walked toward her, and pulled her into a tight hug, bending is head slightly, he murmured in her ear. "Thank you for saving me."
Morgan's voice in her ear made her shiver with pleasure.
Loosening his grip, he pulled back just enough to be able to look into her eyes. "You are welcome, hot stuff and I promise."
A smirk then appeared on his lips. "I love you, you know, you didn't have to pretend with Kevin you should have just told me how you felt, doll face." At his words, she looked at him, a look of surprise on her face.
"How?"
"Let's say we have few guardian angels who helped." He said softly.
Derek leaned forward again and captured his baby girl's lips with his, as he had wanted to do for so long.
Emily and JJ squealed. Hotch murmured a "Finally"
At the squeals sound, Reid snapped his head out of his book, stood up and walked toward the area from where they came. David Rossi, followed Spencer, but the youngest agent of the team stopped at the door when he saw why is colleagues had made the excited sounds.
"They finally figured it out!"
"So it seems." Rossi answered as a smile appeared on his lips.
Morgan and Garcia simply continued kissing completely lost in their own little world, as the others watched then in awe, happy for their friends for another 5 seconds before they silently agreed to give the couple a little privacy, Emily helping JJ out and Hotch closing the door behind them.
THE END
